Monday, September 12, 2011

It's the radio, how does he know I'm fat?

Words hurt.  Compliments are nice, but you're more likely to remember the mean words.  And for me, there is nothing worse than the F word.  Being called fat is humiliating and depressing.  And I've heard it more times in my lifetime than I would like to admit.  One particular time was so bad for me that I still want to crawl in the fetal position when I think about it.

I love sports.  I live sports.  I breathe sports.  Every night I have some sort of game on my tv.  I've been a Fantasy football commissioner for 10 years.  I follow just about every sport imagineable.  Back in the day I was working for the Philadelphia Phillies.  For the record, I started working for them after their worst season ever.  I loved every minute of it.  The history.  The electricity.  I loved just strolling through the halls of Veterans Stadium on my lunch hour.  During the season I had odd hours during homestands.  It messed up my sleeping and often I was getting home after 10pm.  When there wasn't much on TV that late at night I tended to listen to sportstalk radio.

One night they were discussing hockey.  The playoffs were starting and there was a lot of buzz.  I love hockey too so one night I called in.  I don't really remember what I called to talk about, but we had a nice banter going on and I was quite pleased with myself when I was done.  I was laying there with a smile on my face when the next caller came on.  He disagreed with what I had to say.  And he ended his call by saying "I bet that last girl who called was FAT". 

I felt like I had been sucker punched.  I couldn't breathe.  It was the freaking radio.  I could have been Marilyn Monroe for all he knew.  I cried.  And cried.  And cried.  I called out sick the next day (and that was the only job I ever had that I was happy to go to work every day).  I stayed in bed and cried for 24 hours.

I know now that he was just some A-hole who was mad because the host was defending my statement and not agreeing with him, but that's not the point.  All I heard back then was the F-word.  I didn't fell like there was anywhere to go that was safe at that point.

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