Sunday, February 28, 2016

My Saturday: From Depression to the Cheesecake Factory

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Well yesterday was a long long day. Luckily my early clients called me to reschedule.

I spent the day at church getting my Mental Health First Aid certification. It was 8 hours of very important information. It was also a very hard day to get through. Depression. Anxiety. Suicide. Schizophrenia. Bipolar Disorder. Alcohol abuse disorder.

Sitting and paying attention for 8 hours is a long time. Thankfully we had healthy snacks and lunch. There were beautiful fruit and veggie trays. I brought hummus and pita chips. We had soup and sandwiches and peach tea. It was delightful.  That was a bright spot.

The material was hard. Sometimes it made me think of friends and family who are dealing with these issues. It made me think of past experiences where I needed to calm down someone having a panic attack. It made me think of friends who have contemplated suicide and friends who have attempted it. And it made me think of my own depression.

During my last year of college my grandfather passed away right before winter break. I was extremely close to my Pop-Pop. That last semester of college was a blur. I was 6 hours away from my family. And you need to remember how old I am. The internet was just starting and we didn't have cell phones. You weren't in constant contact with everyone. My friends were busy getting ready for graduation. And I was barely able to function. I failed a class my final semester. I was able to walk for graduation, but I had to take a summer class. It worked out and I spent my summer interning in Washington DC at the Department of Commerce for credit. Yes, it was the Monica Lewinsky summer.

That whole semester was spent in a dark hole and eating away my pain. It is not my most favorite of memories from college. Whenever I think about that time my first impulse is to eat something.  Being a food addict SUCKS.

So yes, it was a joyful 8 hours. I am very glad I did it though. It is important information to have. More people need to be trained and educated about Mental health issues.  I am also glad that I went because someone made the most amazing ginger molasses cookies that I feel were laced with crack. I am obsessed with them. And I am the lucky girl who got to bring some home. O...M...G!

While I was there I was invited to join Ms. Marisol and a bunch of 20 somethings for a birthday dinner at...wait for it...Cheesecake Factory!  WHAT?  Twice in two weeks? I was not quite dressed for it and said I wouldn't be available until 5:30. That's okay because the rest would be there at 8. So I had time to run home and shower before going out.

I was freaking out a little though. I can't go that long before eating dinner. And I was emotional so I knew I probably wouldn't make good decisions. I was leaving at 7 and got a text that we had another 2 hour wait. Crap on a cracker. WHAT?




We didn't get seated until 9:30. I was secretly imploding. I'm usually in bed at this time. Our job was to check out the menu before we got seated so that we could order immediately. I looked at that menu for about 30 minutes. I was happy to see the skinnylicious menu. Basically, it was a lot of burgers and sandwiches with garden greens instead of fries. I kid. That was most of it, but there was more. I had originally thought I would get the turkey burger, but I didn't think I could handle that so late. On the specialties menu I saw a vegetable melt with garden greens. It sounded yummy. And it was, but I only ate half. I brought half home. I know what you're thinking. A melt means butter and cheese. You are correct. I was too tired and hungry to think that through when I was ordering.

You know they put bread on the table while we were waiting right? I somehow managed to hold myself to just 2 small pieces. It's a dang miracle....we didn't get food until after 10. It's a bloody miracle that I didn't pounce on tables around me for something to eat.

When in Rome...it's called the CHEESECAKE FACTORY...you don't skip dessert. You just don't!  Our table of 11 split 3 desserts though. There was one slice of red velvet cheesecake. There was a slice of white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. And there was strawberry shortcake. That was more cookie like with ice cream...o...m...g. I had a third of that.

What I didn't have was a diet soda to help me burp. I was miserable the entire drive home. I needed to burp or I was going to pop. It finally happened and I was able to sleep. It was a long day.


Have a Blessed Evening
****Please note****


 If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.
facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Random Wednesday: Running buddy, Cheesecake Factory, and Bangs

Happy Random Wednesday,

Hooray!  This week I finally hooked up with Running buddy at the park. YEAH!  Although we just walked, but we walked for almost 5 miles so I'm good. Right now my training is mostly involving walking anyway. Stupid knee. Stupid foot.

*****

The race is in a couple of weeks. Aunt Carol's kitchen is currently being remodeled. So there is a good chance that we won't be able to carb-load at her house. Bummer. But wait! Mom has a gift card to Cheesecake Factory....SOLD!

It has been suggested that maybe we get cheesecake for the post race celebration. My brain might explode right now just thinking about it.

Basically, I have stayed off of the menu until tonight so that I wouldn't obsess over it, but now Pandora's box has been opened.

*****

So my bangs are long. They are almost chin length. I am not loving them. BAH! I think I would like it if the whole length was long, but I like my hair short. Grr.

*****

Tomorrow I need to go get some groceries. Specifically I need vegetables. Buying fresh means frequent trips to the store.

*****

Monday was National Margarita Day and I didn't have one. WHAT????

*****

It was EXTREMELY windy today. My poor little car was blowing all over. It was the only time that I was happy that I have the extra pounds to lose. They may have kept me from blowing off of the road.

*****

Sunday was the Daytona 500. Of course Tony Stewart was not driving since he injured his back. It killed me that he wasn't racing. But, they did interview him by phone. They kept asking when he expected to be back (no pun intended). As much as I want him back, I want him healed. Do not rush the man. It's his BACK. Can you imagine the vibrations of those cars on the back? Take your time Tony. Call me if you need some company.

*****

Speaking of Daytona, I ran to Zoe's Kitchen after church on Sunday to pick up lunch. They have some new items on the menu and I got a sandwich with ham and mozzarella and rosemary. Oh heck yes!  I love rosemary. I want it on everything!

*****
As much as I would like to write more, tomorrow is distance day. I need to get some sleep.

Good night my loves.


Have a Blessed Evening
****Please note****


 If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.
facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Happy Random Wednesday: Drive Thru French Toast, Barry Manilow, and Headbands

Happy Random Wednesday,

We have less than a month until the DC Half Marathon. So I'm in full training mode. That means I get to have planned carbs. Woo Woo!  The other day I was seriously craving Sonic's French Toast sticks. I was seriously considering getting in my car to go for drive thru French toast. So instead the next time I went to the store I picked up some waffles...and some mini pancakes that you microwave in a bag. I may have freaked out a little. That was the best idea EVER!

*****

It's week 3 of Girls on the Run and holy cow my girls are funny. I will just leave you with this: a third grader asked the other girls if they ever listened to Barry Manilow. I think I love her.

*****

In all fairness I think I need to mention that so far I have only purchased and eaten one box of Girl Scout cookies this year. I got the Rah Rah Raisin.

*****

Today was distance day for me and it was an 8 mile day. That means that I can have a burger. I try to limit my red meat consumption to distance days. Today was also Sloppy Joe's night at church. Basically my belly is freaking out at all of this red meat. It's not going to be a fun night.

*****

The scale is moving in the right direction!  WOO WOO!

*****

Yes, it's true. Starbucks has introduced a new latte: Smoked butterscotch. I had one today. I got a tall. It was okay, but all of the flavor sank to the bottom so the last few sips were pretty amazing.

*****

The other day I became obsessed with making spaghetti squash with pesto and chicken. It took me a few days to get the ingredients and find the time, but it was worth it. Oh heck yes!

*****

One of the best reasons to workout is for the headbands. I'm kidding. No, I'm not.

Anyway, this past week one of the site's had a grab bag sale: 5 for $15. I got them yesterday and wore one today. I love it. Pain is temporary. Pride is forever. YES IT IS!


*****

The Daytona 500 is this Sunday. HOORAY! Although it's not going to be the same without Tony Stewart. Boo...The other day he was on the treadmill so hopefully he's going to have a speedy recovery and will be back soon. But you know Tony, I can come keep you company. CALL ME!



Have a Blessed Evening
****Please note****


 If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.
facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Happy Valentine's Day from a Chocolate Addict

Happy Valentine's Day My Lovelies and Gents,

Let's just put it out there. I will be doing everything I can to avoid stores for the next few days. I can't handle the after Valentine's day Chocolate sales.

If my chocolate addiction was for alcohol or drugs I might be dead by now. It's extremely hard to explain to people who aren't food addicts. If I know there is chocolate on the premise it consumes my brain. I can't concentrate on conversations. I can't focus on work. I just want that damn chocolate. Sometimes I am successful talking myself out of it, but other times it is all consuming and I can't resist.

If I treat myself it has to be to a single piece, because if I buy anything bigger I will eat it all.

To explain how strong the addiction is, let me say that sometimes I won't eat out to a certain restaurant because I know they have a dessert there that I just won't be able to say No to at the time. Forget that I could get a perfectly healthy meal, I know that I would cave for the dessert.

Yesterday I spent Galentine's Day with Ms. Amy, who proceed to lecture me on my lack of blog posts. So sorry, I will try to do better. We went to my favorite, Zoe's Kitchen, and then to Starbucks. Three nights this past week I was falling asleep before 8 pm. I needed some caffeine. This weekend was the special Molton Chocolate drinks. I got a Molton Chocolate Latte. I got a tall and OMG I don't think even I could have handled anything bigger. It was super sweet and decadent. It also kept me awake late into the night. It should have been enough, but I know there was chocolate in the house. I had another piece before dinner.

Today I was to lead a Heart Healthy Walk after church. In between services they had birthday cake for a member who turned 90. Okay, I can't be mad about that. But, I was teaching Sunday School to the kids so I made sure to stay in the gym and avoid the cake at all costs. That doesn't mean that every second I wasn't completely fantasizing biting into a piece. I stayed strong...but then I stopped for lunch on the way home and bought a brownie.

Hello my name is Jennie and I'm a food/chocolate addict.


Have a Blessed Evening
****Please note****


 If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.
facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Random Wednesday: Lent, Cheese, and Hallmark Movies


Happy Random Wednesday,

Today is Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of Lent. This is traditionally the time when you give up something for 40 days. In the past I have given up chocolate, fast food, and Starbucks. I am currently adjusting what I am eating in general. I have stopped giving up food related items for Lent. As a food addict it becomes evil. I end up too focused on it and stressing myself out.

I should just give up my guilty pleasure of Hallmark Channel movies or checking out People.com...too much garbage is on it anyway.

*****

This past weekend was the Polar Plunge. I will try to blog about it this week. It was so much fun and it was so so cold.

*****

Girls on the Run started last week. I love my new school and girls. It will be hard if my old school signs up again. Where will I go?

This season I have 8 girls and man are they fast. Wow. I was not prepared for this. It was freezing on Tuesday and they all voted to go outside. Coach Jennie was impressed...and mighty cold. They all met their goal of 1 mile.

*****

I am really trying hard to cut down dairy and gluten. So naturally I had a cheese sandwich last night. Grr...

*****

In case you hadn't heard, Tony Stewart injured his back. He had surgery last week and will miss part of the season. Daytona is coming up and I am going to be depressed without him racing. Maybe with time on his hands for healing he will finally call. Hey Tony Stewart, CALL ME!

*****

I am back to training for my Half Marathon that is in just over a month. Basically, I have to get my butt in gear. I'm not looking forward to the hills though. Right now my knees are manageable, but once I add the hills it will be difficult to walk.

*****

How many points do I get for not buying a Cadbury egg yet this year?

*****

As always, here is the list of top Workout songs that were sent to me.  Time to update your playlist.

While club music might dominate the month's proceedings, there were a couple of notable exceptions: a crossover hit from the Zac Brown Band and a collaboration between Fall Out Boy and Demi Lovato. As ever, it doesn't matter with which track you start your workout. It only matters that you start.
When you're ready, here's the full list--according to the votes logged on workout music site Run Hundred.
Redfoo – Juicy Wiggle – 128 BPM
Pitbull – Free.k (Sak Noel Remix) – 129 BPM
Disclosure& Sam Smith – Omen (Dillon Francis Remix) – 112 BPM
Taylor Swift – Out of the Woods – 92 BPM
Fall Out Boy & Demi Lovato – Irresistible – 83 BPM
Jason Derulo – Get Ugly – 110 BPM
Dzeko, Torres & Delaney Jane – L’amour Toujours (Tiesto Edit) – 130 BPM
Zac Brown Band – Beautiful Drug – 126 BPM
Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello – I Know What You Did Last Summer – 113 BPM
Robin Schulz & Francesco Yates – Sugar – 123 BPM
To find more workout songs, folks can check out the free database at RunHundred.com. Visitors can browse the song selections there by genre, tempo, and era—to find the music that best fits with their particular workout routine.

Have a Blessed Evening
****Please note****


 If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.
facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973