I feel sorry for everyone around me right now. My anxiety is off the chart and I've got to be completely annoying.
We are less than a week away from the Rock'n'Roll Washington DC Half Marathon. I can't believe that it's here so soon. This is my fourth time running it. Each time I run it I say NEVER Again! And yet here we are.
It's an emotional course for me and it's a physically tough one. I hate hills and pot holes. It has been two years since my last race and I finished that in so much pain it was awful. Stupid Plantar Faciitis. I've been healed since last summer, but I've been terrified that it would come back if I trained too hard and on hills. And so going into this race I am doing something that I tell others never to do. I trained for a flat course, not a hill course. My knees were giving me too much trouble. So I trained for holding my cardio long enough and I have to pray that my body will take care of the rest.
This week I am tapering. For those who don't know, it means that you drastically reduce your training so that your body can rest and gear up for the race. Last week was a bust for me for various reasons, but I got in 6 miles on Saturday. After my shower I taped my knee with kinesio tape. The role of the tape is to lift the skin and increase blood circulation. Since I wear knee straps when I train it's counter productive on a regular basis. But, right now my knee feels bionic so Hooray.
Tapering makes me cranky because I want to keep training. I don't feel ready. I don't want to rest. However, I'm happy to start the carb loading early. That's a whole other form of stress right now.
In the 6 plus years that I have been doing Half and Full Marathons, I am at my heaviest. Now I'm only 12 lbs heavier than the last race, but on my small frame that is like 20 pounds on an average size person. I don't always love how things look on my belly. I especially don't love how spandex looks. So thinking about what to wear for Saturday has been awful. I mentioned before that I wasn't sure that the St. Jude race shirt would even fit. I'm happy to report that I put it on last week at the end of the day when I'm at my most bloated. It wasn't pretty, but it fit. I'm still going to exchange it for a bigger size. I plan on wearing a shirt underneath it so I want plenty of room.
Speaking of St. Jude Heroes, one form of stress that I do NOT have is fundraising. I have met my goal of $500. In fact I have surpassed it. I honestly don't know why I stress over that. The fundraising is the easy part. I feel very blessed to be surrounded by such generous people. I don't have the money to give, so I so the fundraising and the work. I'm happy with this arrangement. Just because I met my personal goal, that doesn't mean that you can't still donate. All funds are welcome. St. Jude's does so much for the families of children battling cancer. They can use all of the help that you can
Back to my anxiety, I had a major freak out last week. I pulled out my ipod to use my earphones and found one of the covers missing. They are my favorite ear buds and they are very specific covers. I had an internal temper tantrum and that's all I fixated on. After searching everywhere for a few days, I resigned myself to the fact that I would never find them. So I sucked it up and went looking for a replacement pair. I couldn't find the same ones and settled on a different pair. Luckily I used them on Saturday and I liked them. Cut to today, and I found the missing cover in my classroom. Seriously?!?My anxiety is so high though, I couldn't even enjoy it.
So what else is causing my anxiety? This isn't the race that I remember. In previous years the Half and Full marathons started simultaneously. I am signed up for the Half. My cousin in law Ms. Brittney is signed up for the Full. This was to be a fun bonding experience. But, her race starts 90 minutes before mine. What? I can't be there for her start. This really sucks. Technically I could, but That would mean that my body would be out in the cold 90 minutes more than it needed to be. I can't let my muscles get that cold to start. Besides the fact that I got an email from St. Jude today that says that the Metro doesn't even start running until her race starts. What? What?? Is it possible that I'll be heading in and doing this all by myself? Hopefully we will be able to go into the Expo together on Friday to pick up our stuff. The Expo itself is another stress. It's carb loading day, and yet there is no where to eat around the Expo. In the past I have allowed myself a soft pretzel from a street vendor before getting back on the Metro to go home. I am planning on packing a lunch to take with me. Hopefully it will be nice and I can eat outside.
The good news is that in the email from St. Jude I also found out some pretty cool stuff about their post race tent. I will have access to massage therapists (mark me down for that) and for private bathrooms. I'm pretty sure that they are port-o-potties, but they are most likely clean ones. I still don't plan on using them. Does that mean I can get two massages?
Source of Anxiety #641: I can't find my green tutu. What's the point of doing the race now? I have my hot pink one, but that doesn't go with my shirt. I'm really hoping that I left it at mom's. I'll check when I'm there Friday.
Really though, the main source of anxiety is that Dad won't be there for this one. He was my chauffeur. He was my cheerleader. If he wasn't there physically he was the first to wish me luck and call me when it was over. I'm 100% that I will be a blubbering fool at some point during the race. After all, I'm a blubbering fool right now.
I Miss you Daddy!
Have a Blessed Night,
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.
yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)
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