Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Surviving Sandy

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Wow, I can't believe I haven't blogged since Thursday. I had started a post on Friday, but we lost internet and cable for the weekend.  Amazingly enough, we got them back late Sunday night before Sandy came to town.

So let's start with Friday night.  My Friday night dinner crew couldn't make it so I had the ever present internal debate with myself on the drive home. Should I go home?  Should I go to the gym?  I had two days of rest last week I couldn't really afford another one. But, I had a 5K in the morning and I am not good with morning runs following a night run.  And let's face it, I wanted to avoid the stores at any cost. People go insane before a storm.  So I went to the gym. I put in over an hour on the treadmill because I was enjoying my book...and then I remembered what I had going on in the morning.  DOH!

Saturday morning comes and I'm pretty excited. I had signed up for a 5K at the Wilmington Riverfront with Heather and my childhood Pal Jen.  After the 5K was a chili cookoff and a concert by a really good local band from the Delaware Beaches. We had been looking forward to this for a month. I had reconnected with Jen a couple of months ago over Facebook and we have gotten together a few times, but we had never done a race together and I was looking forward to meeting her husband and kids.

Her daughter Jordan is seven and this was her first race. So I opted to keep at her pace and visit.  Doesn't matter how fast you go as long as you finish. Heather took off for her jog and we lost her on mile 1. Jordan was doing great for the first mile. The second two were a bit of a struggle because she was getting tired. We pulled out my phone and put my playlist on speaker to help motivate her.

I was running late before the race and didn't get a chance to take off my sweatpants. I was roasting for that first mile and said I would take them off when we hit the boardwalk. And I did...but not without a wardrobe malfunction. I kept telling Jordan that I would be getting naked and she thought that was funny.  Luckily my shorts stayed on, but my sneakers came off. So I let them go ahead of me and promised to catch up. And I did.

We did really well and Jordan finished like a champ. For someone who "needed a rest" for the last two miles, she sure as heck took off when we were 20 feet from the finish line. She must have been reserving that energy. haha.

There was a table of bananas before we went in to the stadium for the after party. I picked up one for then and a few to last me through the storm. SCORE! The chili was good and we also got our choice of hot dog or hamburger.  I got a hamburger.

After we ate there was a special presentation on the field.  Jen is part of a group that raises money to modify bicycles for children with disabilities. They were presenting a bike to a young man with spinal bifida. He had requested a bike that would pedal with his hands. The young man got on it and tore around the baseball field. It made me cry. Shocker!  Once again this was a time to be thankful for my body.

I stayed for a little bit of the concert, but we got in a panic that the rain was supposed to start later in the afternoon.  I had planned on taking the day off from moving and take a load out on Sunday, but we decided I would run home and load my car up and head over.

Weather wise it was a good plan.  However, move days take a lot out of me...and I had just done a 5k. My knees are going to hate me!  I was sooooo tired and sore after. I ended up staying and we started to put my room together (just a little).  I was so spent from the day though that I needed to make Sunday a day of rest.

As I was leaving the parking lot I saw the stacks of cases of water. I quickly pulled over for a couple. I was now Sandy ready!

The plan for Sunday was to go to Church, Choir Practice, Empty Bowls, Starbucks, and then come home.  You may remember Empty Bowls from last year. Every October the community center hosts this wonderful day. Donated pottery bowls are sold for $10.  Then you get soup to fill it and eat. The proceeds go to feed the Hungry.  I always like to get a few bowls. I keep one for me and give the others as gifts. I don't usually soup/chili for every bowl, but dang it a storm was coming!  So I brought a tupperware bowl from home to fill for later.

My first bowl is always the vegetarian chili.  It never disappoints. The second bowl was zucchini soup. That was delicious. The lines were super long so I skipped it. I went to Starbucks to finish my book. The book is about a German family who hide a Jewish man in their basement during the Hitler years. It was a very good book, but it was 500 pages of food guilt. Everyone was starving during that time.  It made me feel very guilty to eat.

Okay so Sandy started to arrive late Sunday night.  I had managed to avoid going to the store. I knew I would buy Halloween candy.  There was no question. I had enough food to last through the end of the week if I was smart.

Before I went to bed Sunday night I got my internet back!  SWEET!  I could work from home on Monday instead of trying to drive in to the office.  So Monday I got up, showered, and logged in for work. I was extremely busy.  Too busy. I was not getting up enough. I was in too much of a panic that I would lose power any minute so I focused on getting as much done as possible.

Watching the news during a big storm is a tad stressful. They are rarely reporting good news.  I found myself constantly thinking about food. CONSTANTLY.  I scoured those cabinets hoping that I had forgotten about a snack that I had bought. OMG if I had bought anything in preparation for this storm, there is NO chance that I would not have eaten it. I was going INSANE yesterday. I wanted oreos. I wanted chocolate. I wanted ANYTHING.

When work was over I was spent. I wanted to blog, but honestly, looking at a laptop screen was the very last thing that I wanted to do. My eyes hurt.  My body was stiff and I was beat. It was a draining day.  And so I collapsed on the couch watching a marathon of Hoarders (I have much to say on that another day).

This morning Ms. Kerri texted that the office was closed. No surprise. They closed all of the main highways into Philadelphia last night. It just was not safe out there.  So the good news is that I could sleep in a little longer.  Which was good because I was up half the night because of the howling wind.  It also meant that I was not going to get any more snacks. I told her that I would force myself to get up and walk around every hour though. My sprained foot was killing me. I had been sitting on it on the couch and it was not happy.  I was still itching for food, but I was itching to move even more.

Some places started to open in the afternoon and I am pretty sure that I could have gone to the gym. I miss it. But, I'm running out of days before the move and I have some things to do. So I am using this as borrowed time to finish some things up.

Tomorrow will be a challenge though. Maybe I will be okay once I am back on schedule. I am hoping the food urges are because I am out of my routine. Please let that be it. PLEASE!  Halloween is not the day to fall out of routine. 

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Thursday, October 25, 2012

Belated Random Wednesday...on a Thursday

Hello Beautiful People!

Sorry I missed a post yesterday, but I didn't get home until late and I was just plain tired.  After work I went to Subway for dinner and then to my cousin's Field Hockey game.  I was very excited.  I wanted to try new Tuscan chicken...oh heck yeah that was good.  I got it with spinach, tomatoes, and the balsamic vinegar. I got the foot long and had them wrap half for lunch today. And it was GOOD.  However, when I got in my car after the game, my car smelled like the sandwich...bah. It was zipped in the lunch bag.

My aunt was hosting the tailgate after the game.  So at half time we went over to the student center to get it set up. Chili. Hoagies. Cookies. Candy. Chips. Fruit. Potato salad. Chicken nuggets. OH my!  I sat there smelling the cookies that were peaking through the aluminum foil...Oh I wanted to reach my hand in there and snag one. The next thing I know they are uncovered and I swear they are calling my name. "Jennie...can you smell me?  You know you want to eat me. It's okay...no one needs to know".  A few moments later my cousin Shain goes walking by eating one. Dang it!  So I caved. I had one.

Aunt Sarah doesn't eat chili and asked me to taste it and give her my honest opinion. So I got a little bowl full. It was good. Tasty. Yummy. And the next thing I know, I am sitting there by myself. And I ate another dang cookie. Bah!

We wait until the girls all get their plates before we hit the food.  Now I ate dinner. there is no reason for me to have anything else. But, it's there. I see it and I smell it. I hate that I gave in.  I got a piece of a turkey hoagie, potato salad, and fruit.

Cousin Shain came over with a little Twix. What? Where did that come from? So he brought me a little Twix and a little Snickers. I ate them both. I literally had no self control.Very annoyed with myself.

When I got home I quickly packed my lunch for today and got in bed. Only to wake up to the text that my brother and sister-in-law were on the way to the hospital. Her water broke. YEAH!  All day long I was getting texts on the update.  I was anxious all day. And what is my first response: I want to eat something. That's how the Former Fat Girl dealt with anxiety.  The new me will workout if she can, but as I still had to get through work that wasn't an option. I practically pulled a muscle forcing myself to stay in my chair and not hit the vending machine.  I cannot even begin to tell you how strong the urge was to eat all day long. I resisted though.

My nephew arrived in the afternoon and I can hardly wait to meet him. Mom and I will be going down to Florida over Christmas to do that.   We are going to drive down and take the Auto Train back to Virginia. On our way down we will stop for the night in Charlotte and I will get to see some friends. YEAH!  And then the next day will be 10 hours in the car. I'm so exited for the trip, but I'm already having anxiety. Will I be able to get in a workout? What am I going to eat? I'm excited to say that the plan is to stop in Savannah along the way. It's in my top 3 of places I want visit. So part of me wants to go somewhere really cool to eat (lots of homestyle cooking), but part of me wants to stop somewhere quick and then walk around town for an hour.  I''ve got time.  I'll figure it out.

So while I was waiting for news on the nephew Ms. Tracey came over to see me. She wanted to talk about the workout plan I gave her. Oh and ps - I now have 5 unofficial clients :-)  She had done the workout the night before and was feeling the burn. I was so excited.  She said I had targeted everything that she wanted. We talked about some of the exercises and the length of time she should do them and the degree of difficulty on them.

I want to give a shout out to Wannabe Mama for my Liebster Award nomination :-)  I will share random facts about myself on a post this weekend.

And speaking of the weekend...are you ready for this big storm?  It made me think of Hurricane Irene. That is when I first started this blog. They are advising everyone to stock up on gas and food. Just remember: If you buy it, you will eat it!

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Baja Fresh Binge

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

BAH! Fine. Let's just call it a massive cheat day.  Today is Baja day with Ms. Lety and Ms. Barb.  And to say I leapt out of bed in excitement is an understatement. I practically bounced to the shower.

First off, I broke my rule. When I go there I always like to wear pants with a waist so that I know when to stop eating. I was not thinking today though. It's nice and warm out so I wore the dress that I was planning on wearing tomorrow. Then when I realized that I would be sitting on some bleachers for a couple of hours a dress quickly became my last option.

It's a cute black empire waist dress that I paired with a jeans jacket and my Taylor Swift brown boots. I look cute. Although I was recently asked if I rode my motorcycle to work...um...not the look I was going for.

Anyway, Ms. Lety and I were giddy with excitement all morning. We even did a little Baja dance in the ladies room early in the morning (very glad no one came in and saw us). She mentioned that she hadn't eaten a big breakfast in anticipation. Ditto!

I was still planning on getting the veggie burrito and splitting it for lunch and dinner when I got there. But, I had a coupon. Stupid dreaded coupon.  I needed to spend $8 to save $2. My drink would cost $.99 and the burrito was $5.69.  Not enough. I should have let it go, but the coupon had a hold of me. And so I got the baja burrito with steak. ARGH. This burrito was cheese, guacamole, pico de gallo, and your choice of protein. I chose steak. I never get it and so I splurged.

To start off with you get a bowl of chips and I got some of their pico de gallo salsa to go with it. Theirs is soooo good. I could eat that all day if you let me. Since there was no rice in the burrito I ended up eating all of my chips. Ha, yeah like I needed an excuse for. Now in preparation for the chips, I drank lots of water all morning to combat the salt. I already felt guilty before I even went to lunch. I didn't need the bloating to go with it.

I ate my chips with my salsa and some of Ms. Barb's guacamole...I never say no to guacamole (oh I weep for all of the lost years when I was too grossed out to even try it).  I drank my caffiene free diet coke (if ever there was a day to induce burping this was it).

I'm not going to lie. I had eyed up my second of the burrito and thought "I could eat that. It's okay, I will just make dinner when I get home."  And then I stopped myself. First, think how good it will taste after the gym tonight. Second, think of how gross I will feel at the gym if I have a full burrito in my belly just churning away.  Ugh. No thank you.

So I sat there and wrapped up my second half for dinner. I still brought my lunch bag in to work today with the ice packs just for the occassion. And for my banana and carrots.

Amazingly, I was still hungry when I got back to my desk. So I ate my carrots and let some time pass. I was itching for something else.  So I went over to the vending machine. I was fully prepared for some peanut M&Ms.  Denied!  There were only plain M&Ms. What?  So I considered them for a moment. I was almost ready to get them, but then I spotted a dark chocolate almond Fiber One bar. It wouldn't fill me up, but hopefully it would curb my sweet cravings. I loaded up on the salt and needed to compensate.   It worked. I felt much better. Although I was still mad at myself for going over to the vending machine in the first place.

So now lets fast forward to the gym tonight. There is a reason why I urge you to eat healthy in addition to working out. I wasn't sure what my workout was going to be. I didn't see a full hour on the treadmill. My belly was not up to it (and it had been 6 hours since I ate). I got nauseous at the idea of a 30 minute ab workout. So I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, 15 minutes on leg weights, and a 10 minute cool down on the treadmill. Ugh.

If you don't feel good when you workout, think about what you had to eat that day.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Monday, October 22, 2012

I'm a Hot Mess!

Happy Monday Bleeps!

My body hurts. My foot is just really bothering me and now I have a pulled muscle in my shoulder.  I am a mess. A hot mess I tell you!

Right now I have to be very smart about my workouts. I am moving on the weekends and I can't afford to injure myself any further. Technically I am not going to the gym on the weekends right now, but that does not mean I am not getting a workout. I am spending an hour or two carrying stuff down the steps to my car. Then when I get to the new place I am spending another hour carrying it in and down the steps to the basement. I'm so looking forward to then carrying everything up the basement steps to the second floor. hahaha. NOT.

Walking down the stairs and putting pressure on my stupid injured foot (formerly the good foot) is hurting. Plus my hands are generally full so I have nothing to brace myself should I stumble or fall. I'm taking my time on the stairs and not rushing it.

I am a lot stronger than I was for my previous move and I know that I have packed some boxes and bins fairly full. They are mighty heavy.  I would like to thank my little helpers for all of their help carrying stuff in from the car.  But, I am constantly screaming "That's too heavy!  Don't worry about that, I'll get it."  Which is great in theory, but then I am not getting the smaller loads for a little rest in between.  Note to self: next time pack them lighter.

And now today my neck is feeling it. I have pulled my trapezius muscle. I bascially cannot rotate my head all of the way to the left nor can I tilt it down to my left shoulder. I took an muscle relaxer earlier today and it is doing nothing to help. Luckily, I have not moved my heating pad to the new place yet. YEAH.

So it's Monday and I'm trying to plan out my week. Wednesday I am going to another of my cousin's Field Hockey games. I love that her team comes up by me to play. So convenient. haha.  So that is my scheduled day of Rest. And I need it. I haven't had once since last Friday. I am way overdue. Actually, I am also resting today. I was driving home planning on going to the gym, but my neck and foot hurt.  I really wanted to go.  I don't have too many days left to see Gym Crush 1, but it's no good if I hurt myself more and have to look at him sideways.  So we have a bonus day of rest this week. 

I will use my extra time to pack another bin, soak my foot, and put a heating pad on my neck. Next weekend I am busy two nights and then I am going away for a 3 day weekend (Food show in DC...HOLLA!).  I need some down time.  I have to think ahead.
I have lunch plans tomorrow with Ms. Lety and hopefully Ms. Barb. We are going to Baja Fresh...I have been fantasizing about the salsa and chips for days now. I can hardly wait. The plan is to get the vegetarian burrito and save half for dinner. But, I may go crazy when I get there and order something else. I should write it down now and just hand them a note when I get there. I hope they don't think I'm trying to rob the place.

Wednesday night I was thinking that I don't have to worry about dinner because I will eat at the tailgate after the game, but the game doesn't start until 7pm. I will eat small children if I have to wait until 9pm to eat dinner. So I may need to hit Subway for some dinner before I go. And since it will be a late night, I will get a foot long and have half for dinner and half for lunch the next day.

I'm sure by now you are saying "Who the heck cares?" But, this is my life now. I can't just figure it out as I go along. If I am going to maintain this healthy lifestyle, it involves planning ahead.  Otherwise I will start eating out every night and skipping my workouts. And all of this hard work will have been for nothing.  No Thank You!  I am not going to let that happen.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I'll Be There For You...

Happy Sunday Bleeps!

This morning I was watching an episode of Friends before I went to church. I'm sure many of you will agree with me, but I'm going to say it anyway.  It's one of my favorite shows ever. I love all of the characters, but I've always been slightly annoyed at how they talk about Monica's "Fat" years.  Okay, more than slightly.

Ross: I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast you didn't eat.

The jokes that fly around have never made me laugh. Jokes about how the Home Ec department had to spcially make her band uniform.  Jokes about a fake boyfriend because she was too fat to actually have a boyfriend. Jokes about how Chandler was so not interested in her when she was fat.  Jokes about her clothes. Jokes about the food she ate. Jokes about how strong she was compared to Ross.

I will tell you flat out right now, that I never joke about the Former Fat Girl. It hurts too much. It hurt my feelings then and it hurts to even think about now.  It was shameful.  I was embarrassed by how much I ate. There was no joking about it.

The fact that she's a chef mystifies me. It's like watching Sam on Cheers as a Bartender. It's beyond dangerous to put an addict in those environments.  Seriously, I have panic attacks in the grocery store. How the heck is she supposed to handle it? It's not like she specializes in healthy food.

One thing they never discuss is how she lost the weight. She just lost it. I guess it makes it easier to joke about the fat years if they don't actually have to explain how hard it would have been to lose the weight and maintain the loss.

And let's just talk about the "fat suit".  Why is it supposed to be so funny when they put the "fat suit" on Monica?  Is it because it's too outrageous to think that someone so beautiful and thin could have been that fat once?  I cringe every time Fat Monica shows up.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Saturday, October 20, 2012

What shall I be for Halloween?

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Okay so let's just put it out there. Right now I am too scared to go food shopping.  I do not trust myself to avoid the Halloween candy. And so right now my cabinets are mighty empty.  Bah!

Do you dress up for Halloween?  I do. I have a few costumes to rotate through, but I was hoping to wear a bridesmaid dress from a couple of years ago and you know...go as a Bridesmaid (from the movie of course).  You may remember that the dress was my back up for the wedding a couple of weeks ago. I never got a chance to try it on though.

So I did that last night.  I didn't know if it would fit. It doesn't!  Another dress big on the boobies.  It was so tight two years ago that I couldn't even wear a bra. It wouldn't zip with one on. Now, if I want to wear it again...and I do cause it's so pretty, I will have to have it taken in. HOLLA!

Now I am down to some former costumes: Sexy pirate (think I wore it twice already), Little Red Riding Hood (got that when I  dyed my hair brown one year), Goldie Locks, or French Maid.  In honor of my soon to be nephew (who has a pirate room) I will be Ruby the Pirate Beauty again.  Well quite frankly, I like the skull ring.  I like to commit to character.

The Goldie Locks costume is cute. I got it five years ago. I looked hot in it. Still do, but it's not as tight as it once was. I should have tried on the Little Red Riding Hood one too, but since I don't want to do that as a blonde I didn't.

It's so much more fun to dress up now. The Former Fat girl hated dressing up. Here let me throw on a football jersey and go.  Hmm, I could get a pumpkin costume to cover the belly.  Oh throw a sheet on me and cut holes all over it. I can be Charlie Brown's Halloween costume. Put on some pajamas for the ever so popular Little Kid costume.  What ever happens Do NOT touch the belly!

I do have some dream costumes. And one day I will wear them. I have always wanted to be Jeannie from 'I Dream of Jeannie".  That is my Dream for next year. Note to self: Get rid of that dang belly!  I also think I would make a really cute Tinker Bell.  Actually my plan for this year was to be Abby from NCIS, but I didn't get my act together in time for it. Plus my hair is too short for braids now. Boooo.

Alright kids, after all of this Halloween talk I want to watch The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Friday, October 19, 2012

The Grass Isn't Always Greener...

The Weekend is here Bleeps!

Oh thank goodness. Today was an icky day. It was rainy and Ms. Kerri was out today. The day was quite busy.  So busy that I barely got to get up and use the bathroom.  It was also a bad hair day. So between the hair and the lack of "reapplying make-up" time I was asked if I was feeling okay...because I looked sick.  Message received!

After work I was driving to the gym trying to decide what to do. Should I go?  I need a day off and I can get some packing done tonight, but then I thought about my day. I barely got up from my desk all day. I HAD to go to the gym. I didn't really have an option now did I?

I decided to try and run a little and see how my foot was. It was bothering me a little earlier...but it wasn't the sprain that was bothering me. I don't know if it was suggestive, but I got all excited that one of my Favorite Football Players is coming back this weekend. Terrell Suggs of the Baltimore Ravens tore his achilles tendon in the Spring.  He had surgery in May and was expected to miss the whole season. Well my man is back!  But, is it too soon?  I mean I can't wait to see him play again, but I would like to continue to see him play for many seasons. So if you remember, I pulled my achilles tendon during the Half Marathon last month. It hasn't given me a whole lot of trouble, but every now and then it'll be sore and makes me really not want to put any pressure on it.  It felt sore again today. BAH.

When I got to the gym I put in 10 minutes of walking.  I was feeling really good. My foot and knees felt great.  So I started running. After 15 minutes I felt a slight pain in my foot and immediately dropped back to a walk. I tend to push myself, but I will stop when I feel pain.  It wasn't a sharp pain and it wasn't in the achilles or where the sprain is...so I definitely had to stop.  I will not survive foot surgery if it comes to that. Can you imagine me staying off of my feet right now? Ha...I would go mad.

After my treadmill time I went over and hit the abs for 15 minutes. I have been focusing on them this week and I can see a difference in the belly FINALLY.  I decided to treat myself to some massage chair time before I left. It was lovely...and then it happened. Just as I was getting up to leave Former Gym Crush #1 came in...OMG!  I had not seen him in a couple of months. And naturally I turned completely stupid "What do I do? What do I do?"  I just had my cool down.  I had my bags with me. I couldn't just go back and work out...bah!  So I just stood there texting as many people as I could stealing looks at him...sigh...

Recently I have heard a lot of people say "I get a little jealous of you and all of the time that you can find to workout. You don't worry about running home to walk the dog or pick up the kids."  I'm not sure this recap of my rockin Friday night would make a lot of people jealous. haha. The grass isn't always greener on the other side...

Alright kids I'm going to call it a night. I have a lot to do this weekend and I want to get some rest before I do it...and soak my foot.

Have a Blessed Night.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Let the Training Begin...unofficially

Hello Beautiful People!

So it's been an exciting couple of weeks. While I have had to cut back on the studying for my Personal Training Certification and push off the exam some more, I have not lost my desire to help people.

My cousin asked me to put together a workout program for her. So I sent her some assessment questions and put together a program for her.  She had a workout class on Wednesdays and asked for programs for 3 other days during the week. It was so much fun to me to put this together.

I have her starting off with the basics.  Right now we want to focus on form, motion, and keeping to a schedule. If things go well in the next couple of weeks we will increase her weights and alter her exercises.

I was very excited about this and was telling Ms. Tracey all about it during our walk the other day. She mentioned that this is the last week for her cycling class and isn't sure what she's going to be doing now.  Then she asked if I could put together one for her too. YEAH!  Heck yeah I can.  Hers is a different challenge. She wants a workout program that she can keep to while at home.

Later that night I got an email from a blog reader looking for a personal cheerleader.  Money struggles are a problem and a constant sourse of stress for weight loss.  We have emailed and I am sending her an assessment questionaire also.

I wish I could be there in person for them.  It would make this a lot easier, but it's not always an option. I'm happy to take a peek into their lives and give them options to make more active choices. I will not just give them the plans and walk away.  I'll need to keep checking to see how the progress is going and updating the plan to shock their bodies.

So that's 3 'onofficial' clients.  I can take on some more :-)  Feel free to email me if you need some help :-)  jhendersonfit@gmail.com

Okay, so let's talk about my workout now. Last night I made it back to the gym.  I put in 30 minutes on the treadmill and then wanted to do an upper body workout.  I am itching to do a lower body, but I'm not sure how my sprained foot will handle the pressure so I am putting it off another week.

When I got on the 'back' machine I pulled out my notebook. I had not done another upper body workout since late September. WHAT?  How did I let so much time go by? So it's been 3 weeks. I dropped my weights a little. I'm glad I did. I really focused on my form and taking my time with each movement.  And it was a struggle. I will work my way back up to my old weights in a couple of weeks.  I'm glad that I had the notebook to reference.

Today I sat on the exercise ball again this morning and Ms. Tracey and I went for another walk at lunch. So all afternoon the Former Fat Girl kept saying "Go ahead and skip the gym tonight. You've already done enough today."  And until I was on the ride home I was considering it. Then I had a vision...Gym Crush 1! 

So I went...and he was there...and he is lovely...and I heart him...and I want to have his babies!

Before I go, Ms. Barb wanted me to make a correction to yesterday's post.  Don't worry, she's still famous.  She is the cheerleading coach though. I had that information wrong.  My apologies Ms. Barb.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

It's Random Wednesday Y'All!

Woo Woo for Random Wednesday!

So Wednesdays are awesome because they are Random Wednesdays, but they are also Breakfast day at work.

For several years now there have been a couple different Breakfast Clubs at work. One is on Wednesday and one on Friday. If you are a part of the club then you are assigned one week and bring breakfast in for the large group. I had not joined because I could not rely on what other people provide me for breakfast.

One group would put the food so close to my desk.  It drove me insane. If someone cooked I could smell the eggs, bacon, syrup, sausage, etc all day. Plus there would be the people coming over and getting the food and of course commenting on how good it looks and smells.

A couple of months ago someone complained to me about the club he was in. He wanted to start one that banned Bagels. Some weeks people splurge and make something special, but for the most part it's bagels every week.  We talked about starting a fruit club. We could have fruit, yogurt, and granola.

A few weeks ago Ms. Kerri and I were asked if we wanted to join the Wednesday Club.  We are now under the same manager as most of the members. I decided to join this one. Mainly because I can plan around bagels. Plus, my week will be fruit and yogurt.  My week isn't until February though.

So today was a special day. There was a french toast casserole, bananas, yogurt, and granola. Pretty much if you can put syrup on it, I will eat it. The portions people were cutting for themselves were 3"x1.5".  It looked delicious...but I so wanted a bigger piece. I didn't though. And it was good. I also took a banana and some yogurt with granola. It was tasty and my lips were sticky for an hour.

Yesterday was flu shot day. I didn't get a shot the last two years.  But, the years before that I also had my pal Mandi there to hold my hand...and I hers.  We are shots chickens. I can handle the pain so I don't know what my problem is...but I see that needle and I start to freak out. If I don't see it I am fine.

Normally I am fine, but yesterday's hurt for a while. I'm going on the theory that there is a lot more muscle there than before. Less fat to go through.

Anyway, by the middle of the afternoon Ms. Kerri and I were barely able to keep our eyes open at our desk.  My plan for the night was to go to the gym, but when I got to the library after work to pick up a book on hold I had nothing left in the tank. Not even the lure of a Gym Crush could get me to the gym.  When I got home I packed a few boxes and sat down. I wanted to lift on commercials, but I could barely keep my eyes open. So I was out. We have no idea if it was a reaction to the shot or just a weather thing or what, but man I was knocked on my butt yesterday.  I've never reacted that way before, but who knows.
So the other day I was walking around Target on the phone with my mom. I wasn't paying attention and found myself in the Halloween candy aisle. BASTARDS!  Did you know that there is a new Milky Way out there?  Caramel Apple Milky Way...hello, you have my attention!  It will either be completely awesome or horrible...I did not buy them...but I am now becoming obsessed with them in my head. If only they had a big one. I don't want the whole bag :-(

Conversation with Ms. Kerri today:

She came walking back from lunch carrying a bag of cool ranch dorritos looking like the cat that ate the canary. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

Me: That better not be your lunch.
Ms. Kerri: I'm not that hungry. Besides I ate a Milky Way in the car.
*look of horror*
cut to ten minutes later
Ms. Kerri: Man I am so full.
Me: Just from the dorritos?
Ms. Kerri: And the Milky Way!

It's a good thing I heart her!

Ms. Barb is Famous!

So I know I don't tell you that much about Ms. Barb any more...but they moved her clear across the building a few weeks ago and I hardly see her anymore. We've only gotten together for lunch one day since she moved.  Luckily we have Instant Messaging though.

Monday morning she messages me asking if I know someone.  I say that I do, I went to High School with her.  Turns out that she's the cheerleader coach for Ms. Barb's daughter. I don't know how the subject of me came up, but it was mentioned that Cheryl reads my blog.  I immediately responded: Did you tell her that you are THE Ms. Barb?  haha.

Hi Cheryl!  Isn't Ms Barb Great?

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Thinking Outside the Box

Hello My Lovelies and Gents,

I want to share with you an idea that I had today. I've been worrying about my gym situation once I move. I will be switching my "home" gym to one closer to work and meeting up with gym buddy Lisa every night (well most nights). I'm very excited about this.  I've missed her.  So I'm good for the weekdays, but what about weekends?

I have the membership that allows me to go to multiples locations, but there is nothing right in the area. However, the closest one is 30 minutes away.  I can do that if I have to and on Sundays it's not a big deal. I can go to the gym by church. So what about Saturdays?

There is a park around the corner which is a great option. I had even considered getting a second gym membership. Although I don't love the idea of spending that extra money, I don't want to not have the option either.

And then it hit me!  I will be very close to Longwood Gardens. I can get a membership there (for the price of two months of the gym) and go there on weekends. There are beautiful outdoor gardens and large indoor gardens. It doesn't have to be a massive workout, as long as I am out and walking around I am happy.  And the bonus is that they have bathrooms!  The key will be not to give in to snacks and to limit my photography. haha.

As another alternative to the gym I got back to walking at lunch today. Ms. Tracey wanted to walk and it was just so nice outside.  So we walked. It wasn't a super fast pace. My foot was bothering me (surprise!), but we walked for 45 minutes. I also got back to sitting on the exercise ball during the day.  I haven't been doing that because it bothers my knees with all of my running.  I sat on it for 5 hours today.  My knees hurt after, but it felt good on my abs. So I will try to do it a couple times a week again.

I had still planned on going to the gym after work, but with my foot and knees bothering me I didn't want to push it. Plus, I have weights at home.  So the new plan is to lift on commercials during Hart of Dixie tonight :-)

Sometimes you just have to think outside the box (Parks, Gardens, Zoos, Aquarium, Mall, etc). Sometimes it's just about being active and not a couch potato. 

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Do as I say, not as I do

Happy Monday Bleeps!

Well it's Make Amends Monday!  I'm starting over. No more tootsie roll binge eating for me.

So today I needed to run out to the post office at lunch. I wanted to go before the lunch hour rush.  I wasn't sure what I would do with the rest of my lunch hour, but I kept having the word Starbucks run through my head. The line for the post office was long, but when I was done I still had 30 minutes left.  Here is the conversation that I had with myself:

It's cold and rainy. It's the perfect day for something warm.

Jennifer you just brought in peppermint mocha. Its sitting in your desk.

Starbucks is right there, just run in.

Jennifer you went to Starbucks twice this weekend!  You don't need this.

But, one of those times was for unsweetened green tea. That doesn't count.

OMG you do not need to spend that money right now.

But, you still have money on your gift card!  

Do you really want to stay out in the rain?

Come on...you know you wanna try the Raspberry White Chocolate Mocha that you heard about yesterday....

mmm....Raspberry White Chocolate Mocha...

Alas, I did not stop. I went back to the office instead. I would like to say that I was super strong, but I will be honest.  I didn't want to stay out in the rain. That is what kept me from it.  But, I am really looking forward to this weekend's trip. I want to try that drink!

So I am almost done with my workout plan for my cousin.  I have had soooo much fun putting it together and I'm really excited about it. It's also made me face myself.  I've known what some of my problems are.  I could use a trainer of my own to keep things fresh for me. I've mentioned it before, but I have OCD. I need routine and schedules.  This is good and this is bad. I am good with schedules.  I am bad with switching up my routine.  I can switch it up from day to day, but the workouts themselves tend to look a like.  I will increase weight, time, and reps, but I need to incorporate more changes.

Let's talk about my 'routine' life. I LOVE board games.  One of my favorites of all time is Battleship. I could play that all day and all night if allowed. I would play with my ex and he was like some sort of Battleship Savant. No matter what I did he would hit one of my ships in the first 3 guesses. It would drive me crazy.  I got sooooo frustrated. How was that possible?  He said quite simply that I had a pattern. I would argue that I didn't, but yeah I did.

I love to scrapbook. I want to be super creative, but good lord there is such a pattern in every one of my books. I am a routine girl.  That's all there is to it. 

Tonight's workout was a challenge to myself. I still need to go light on my foot. So I did 30 on the treadmill and then I headed over to the mats for 30 minutes of abs. I hate my belly, but I haven't really been focusing on it.  So now, in the rotation will be 30 minutes of abs twice a week. In addition to the 10 minutes every workout. In order to keep it fresh I will switch between machines and mat work.  I will bust that belly if it kills me!

Have a Blessed Night My Friends.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Feet Don't Fail Me Now! - Too late

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Did you have a good weekend? It was gorgeous here. I wish I could have spent more time outside. This weekend was full of moving though. I took a load each day to the new place.  So I guess I did spend some time outside. haha.  Although loading and unloading the car doesn't really count in my book.

I finished the Stephen King book on Friday night and that pretty much shot my peaceful night's sleep. Basically I had those reading rules for a reason. Finishing it after dark alone in the apartment was dumb.  I needed to go take my contacts out and go to the bathroom before bed, but was pretty much too scared to leave my room. I had to put all of the lights on (and the bathroom is a 3 foot walk from my bedroom door).  Needless to say, I immediately picked up a new mindless book to start.

I'm fairly certain that it was the reason that I woke up so early on Saturday. My brain woke up early, but it took a long time for my body to catch up.  I needed to get up and hit the gym, then come back and load my car.

My plan was to run for an hour. But, my body had other plans. I was fine on the treadmill all week, but on Wednesday I started to have some problems with my foot.  My good foot. BAH!  Whenever I would walk down steps it felt like I had jammed my ankle. I could feel it a little while was was doing my warm up mile on the treadmill.  I wasn't sure how it would feel if I ran. I decided to test it out. Nope. I didn't last 30 seconds. BAH!  Frustrated I got off and got on the elliptical. I thought maybe if I wasn't actually lifting it then it might feel better. Wrong. I lasted 15 minutes and then I was limping over to the ab machine.

I was so annoyed.  Last week my brain failed me and this week my body did. I suppose it's a good thing that I get so annoyed at this. I've said it before, but the Former Fat Girl would have used these as excuses not to workout.

Normally I would take this as an excuse to move to weights. Except with all of the lifting and carrying I am doing for the move I don't want to overdo it and get sore. So I resigned myself to skip the gym on the weekends until the move is over.

So now let's go back to the foot. Remember when I said that I noticed it when I was putting pressure on it going down stairs?  Well that is NOT cool when you live on the second floor and are putting things in the basement at the new place.

When I got home last night I immediately soaked the foot in epson salt. It felt a little better today and luckily Heather was there to help me unload this time. It didn't hurt as bad, but I'm not encouraged for my running this week. I will be walking only.

I was trying to figure it out and the only thing that makes sense is that my jumping (dancing) at the wedding last weekend injured it.  Consulting with my Aunt has resulted in a diagnosis of a sprain/stretched ligament. That feels about right. The problem is that it will take some time to heal.  I have a 5K in two weeks and I wanted to train for the Half in December (haven't registered yet so we'll see how I'm feeling in a week). 

I know I overdo it. I know I beat up my body. For the most part it can handle it, but every so often it yells back at me to take it easy. So I am listening now. I have things to do. I can cut back on the workouts and running for a bit. That just means I need to be very good with my food.  And already I have failed.

I picked up a bag of Tootsie rolls yesterday. I was supposed to ration them out. Yeah, the bag is almost gone. Stupid stress!  I tend to rationalize it with myself: Well I didn't eat as much as I needed to today and I did exert a lot of energy moving.  That's a load of Crap Jennifer!  You went well over the serving size and ate it simply because you had the urge.   I told you, if you buy it you will eat it. And no one knows this better than I do. Argh!

Okay, tomorrow is Make Amends Monday. Let's make it a good one!

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Friday, October 12, 2012

Friday Night- Pity Party of One

Hello Beautiful People!

Happy Friday!  Can I get a Woo Woo for Friday?  So happy the weekend is here.  I have so much to do. But, sometimes I feel like I have a split personality too. I'm happy for the weekend, but if I don't have any official plans with friends or family I actually dread the weekends.

They can feel mighty lonely.

Who doesn't love 5 o'clock on Friday? Seriously, I think it's the most popular hour of the week. And all week long I am counting down to it.  Hurry 5 o'clock!  I can't wait for you to get here.   When I am packing up my laptop and grabbing my bags there is this lovely elation. Then, as soon as I get in my car I drop. Unless I am travelling I hardly ever have big plans for Friday nights. It's sucky. But, I'm not a bar person anymore. In the summer I am stuck in beach traffic every Friday.  I'm usually beat and don't really feel like having a wild night out.

I do have my Friday night dinners with my friends and their kids, but our schedules have really been off for that. We've only been able to meet up a hand full of times since the start of the summer.

That's one of the reasons why I was happy to join the gym. I could go to the gym on Fridays now!  Why not?  It's not as crowded. I'm getting my workout in. I'm not at home having a pity party for myself. And quite a few times I even see some Gym Crushes there. 

Now the problem is, if I go and have a big run or something then Saturday morning when I go I don't feel as up to it. You body needs 24 hours to replenish itself after an intense workout.  So if I go on Friday night and then follow it up Saturday morning I have to plan it out. One has to be a weights workout and one has to be a cardio workout.

Okay, so now I've worked out and I go home. I make my dinner and I shower. It's not the most exciting Friday night, but I feel a little better.

This is not a plea for people to suddenly start inviting me to go out. haha.  Although I am waiting for the campaign to start to get Tony Stewart to actually call me. Just kidding. (No I'm not. TONY STEWART CALL ME!)

The reason why I am writing about this is because I am not alone. I know that some of you out there are in the same boat. There is nothing worse for the Former Fat Girl than loneliness. That's when she hit the food the most. We would replace the sadness with food. Food was the band aid. It didn't fix things, but it masked the problem.  It ain't called "Comfort Food" for fun.

Regardless how I am feeling on Friday nights now, I am working very hard at not turning to food. When I do get to meet up with my friends and go out to dinner I make that my treat for the weekend. Originally I tried going to the gym after dinner, but I just can't workout so soon. My belly needs time to digest. If not I just feel sick when I am moving all over.

Tonight I was in the car and halfway to the gym when I got the text for dinner.  I was completely delighted and happy to postpone the gym until tomorrow (I'm trying really hard to embrace the additional Rest days that I am giving myself right now).  We didn't know where we were going just yet so I decided to pull over and read while they figured it out.  I had read some at lunch (covering my eyes...doesn't quite work) and I just really want this book done with. I am NOT embracing the "Stepping out the Comfort Zone".

Just as I started reading they suggested Panera. YEAH. I am happy to get the half sandwich and salad. I enjoyed my dinner and came home to finish my book. I put on my big girl panties and sucked it up. Who care's if it's dark outside and I am home alone.  I can do this!  And I did!  I finished it. I will never sleep again, but I finished it. haha. And now I can go to the gym in the morning and have a nice run. Ahh...

Things are in motion for me right now. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm on my way there. And I have faith that soon I will be emotionally ready to find that Special Someone and I look forward to many Friday Nights with him. :-)

Have a Blessed Night My Friends.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Tailgating after Work

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Well tonight was the Tailgating party after work and you would think that I had never eaten before. After work, Ms. Kerri and I  took our stuff to our cars and walked around to the back parking lot where the party was in full swing.  There were people everywhere and tables full of food. Lines of people and it was hard to figure out where everything was. One giant line was for the beer. Um, not interested, where the heck is the pulled pork????

After about five minutes we ran into Ms. Tracey and she had some on her plate. She pointed us to the appropriate table and off we went. We each got a plate and a roll and stood in line. Then we saw that there were cheeseburgers at the table too. With one look and a quick nod, we got a second roll. One burger and one pulled pork please.  I didn't get far before I saw the potato salad. I only took one spoonful.

We reunited with Ms. Tracey and then we were off to find a drink. We found the coolers with the water bottles and then we found the coolers with the soda. Sprite and Coke. There was nothing diet. CRAP. I would normally just get the water, but I was about to shovel a bunch of food in my mouth and I need the soda to help me burp or it's going to get all sorts of ugly up in here. So I took a coke.

When we finished our sandwiches we headed over to the snacks table. There was a great bean and corn salsa. I took a spoonful and a couple of chips. Ahh...that was good.

Then we all decided it was time to leave.  However, in order to leave we had to pass the desserts table. I took a cookie...and then another (everyone took two for the road). Crap, are those dark chocolate covered pretzels? Yep. I took a couple of them too.

What is wrong with me?  Seriously, can you tell that I have been on a serious budget these past few weeks? I felt like a sailor on leave in a strip club.

Eating on a budget is hard. Especially since I am no longer frequenting the Dollar Menus. I used to live for them. I love how I would buy two burgers or throw in that frosty because I was saving money. I really wasn't.  By the time I got everything and wanted (and a few extras) I ended up spending more money than I would have on a regular meal.

And coupons aren't even a big help. I cut coupons every week. And the Former Fat Girl would love saving her money. But, she would also buy things because there was a coupon.  Instead of cutting everything out, I only cut out what I really will use or need. I don't get the frozen pizza just because I have a coupon. I don't get the ice cream because I have a coupon. I use the coupons on my cheerios, fiber one bars, guacamole, crystal light, and string cheese.  It sucks that there aren't more coupons for healthier foods.

So after I left the party I was driving home and trying to figure out what the plan was for tonight. I wouldn't be going to the gym because I can't workout right after I eat. I would be heading home and packing a little. Maybe do a little laundry.  I really wanted to finish my book though. I had read a little bit before Bible Study today (which was great because I was full of paranoia and anxiety). I could tell that I was only pages away from her busting out the ax. BAH!  I just want this book over with. I can't take the suspense!

I pulled into the parking lot of the park I used to walk in. I figured I would read in the park for a little while. I didn't get out of my car though. I just sat there and read....and then the ax came out and I am sitting in the car screaming. I had to leave. BAH.

I don't think I will be finishing it tonight, but tomorrow is it! I want to study dang it!

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Another Random Wednesday

Well Bleeps it's that time again...Time for Random Wednesday.

Last night it was rainy and icky and the last thing that I wanted to do was go to the gym, but I did it anyway. I had to. I started a new book for book club and I gave myself some rules. It's a Stephen King novel and I am not a creepy/scary fan.  I truly am not. So the rules are: 1-Read during daylight 2-Read in public places with lots of people around 3-if I get creeped out put it in the freezer.

Let me give you a little background. Back when I was living in Charlotte my roommate went down to Costa Rica for 10 days. On day 1 a commercial for The Exorcism of Emily Rose came on. I was so freaked out that I didn't leave my room for the rest of the night. Every night when I came home from work I would grab everything I needed for the night from the kitchen and then I was off to my room. Not to emerge until daylight. I know, I'm a scaredy cat, but that's the truth.

Monday night after starting this book something fell in my closet and I leapt about a hundred feet in the air.  So you can see why I have the rules. I had to go to the gym because that counted as a public place. Although the first night I was reading it on the treadmill I bit my hand so hard trying not to scream the guy next to me thought I was crying.

I share this for you for many reasons.  I often say that eating right and working out involves stepping out of your comfort zone. Well this is me doing that. This is as little comfortable as I get. My other rule is that I am not allowed to study until I finish it. I want this book done and over!

So I got to the gym and went in to change. BAH!  I pulled out my running skirt.  I thought I had packed my spandex shorts. I got the skirt with my giftcard to Modell's with FCANR last month. It was on sale and didn't cost me anything. It looks pretty cute on. Although it didn't quite look good with the shirt I packed...oh well. This was my first time wearing them and I didn't like it at all. They were okay while I was walking, but as soon as I started to run OH NO I didn't like them at all. Kept feeling like everyone could see my butt cheeks.

I'm surprised that I even packed them because after Monday night I thought I was done with shorts. When I got to the gym on Monday I realized that I had packed my gym bag on Friday back when it was still warm...I was COLD in the car. So I now have a sweatshirt packed to put on for the walk to the car and back home.

I had tried to run a little last night, but my knees were killing me from Saturday's jumpfest. BAH. So I only ran for 15 and then I read my book the rest of the time. It's okay though because my big-ass blister keeps coming back. It's just the dead skin now trying to make a break for it and I know I can peel it off, but then I'm going to have fresh skin the size of a half dollar on the bottom of my foot...that won't feel good for a while. argh.

The gym has been making a lot of changes lately.  Mostly they have been moving equipment around. This is throwing me off, but I'm adjusting. They also started some promotion about pats on the back. I don't know what it is, but if they get so many then Cupcakes for Everyone!  Argh.  We already know how I feel about Pizza night. It's extremely frustrating. I will be honest, they must be paying BIG bucks for Biggest Loser because I really truly cannot see Bob endorsing this gym. I sit there and watch people using machines so improperly and there is no one to tell them that. They are only hurting themselves. I was the first to shrink away when the trainers would come over and try to help me, but they did help. I did learn to use things properly. And then all of these Food days are just dumb. Just because you are eating it at the gym does not make it good for you.  It just sucks. I picked this gym for my budget and you get what you pay for.  But, it is a gym, not a fitness center. There are many things that I do like about it, don't get me wrong. It's just getting harder and harder the more I study and see so many people do so many wrong things.

Then last night one of the workers came over and told that starting today management is enforcing new rules and one is that you can't hang bags on the equipment. Now, I see all of the girls hanging their pocketbooks. I get that this is why they made the rule.  But, my bag is my nylon bag with my lifting gloves and workout notebook. There is nothing of value and now I will have to go back to the locker room after cardio to get it before I hit the weights. argh. Other gyms put hooks on machines for you and mine is banning them. Well take that!  You will not beat me!  I will just wear my bag on my back!  And I did...Even after I saw three ladies with their bags hanging up.

The fun news is that on my way to the gym I returned a call to my aunt and cousin. They were on their way back to dropping my cousin at college. They wanted to ask if I would put together a workout plan for my cousin. She wants to start getting serious with working out and weights. YEAH!  I was super excited. So when I got home I put together an email with my Assessment questions. She responded and I hope to have something lined up for her by this weekend.

So today they were collecting money for a work event tomorrow night. At the time there was no change. So I got all excited because all I have been thinking about for the past couple of days is the White Chocolate Pumpkin Spice coffee at Dunkin Donuts. Sweet!  I shall go there to read my book, get my coffee, and get some change.  DOH. They were all out. Foiled again.  Oh well I will try next week.

The event tomorrow is a Tailgating party.  When they first announced it I thought "nope I'm skipping and going to the gym". That is not food I can control. But, it should be fun and I decided to make it my day of rest. Now I'm in a total panic about what food will be there.  There is a chili cookoff, but I've been eating chili for 3 weeks now. My group rented the grills so I'm thinking burgers. I believe I heard pulled pork bbq sandwiches...so I'm pretty on board for that. And really, I get to come to work in my Ravens jersey so it's a no-brainer. I'm going to stay for it.

But, I was not feeling so hot today and really wanted to skip the gym. Plus I'm still a little annoyed about the "bag in the locker thing". Do they not know about the other night when my brain fried and I could not remember my combination????  I had to go though. If only to read more of the book. Plus, I'm running out of time with Gym Crush 1...I did see him last night, but only from a far.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Wedding/Reception Part 2

Happy Tuesday Bleeps!

I was a little tired last night so I forgot a few things in the blog post.  So I will go over them before I give you something new.

Let's go back to the dress. It's a black and white Empire waist dress. The last time I wore it, it was Spanx city!  I had stuff sucking me in like nobody's business. This time, I did not.  And so I was in a panic every time I walked by my reflection.  Is the movement of walking pushing it against my belly and in turn making my belly stick out?  Nope, I was good. I would like to believe that there will be a day when I don't worry about this....some day...

Due to some unforeseen complications, the wedding started an hour late. That's okay though because we got to sit in the church and visit with our relatives. By the time we arrived at the reception for appetizers I had no interest in my family.  I just wanted the food. There is no pretending to be interested in what you're saying when I am focused on food. I have no recollection of any conversations that I may have had during this time. There was just a hum in my head and "Hey, what's that they just brought out of the kitchen?"  Because there were no repeats. Everything that came out was new.  And what if it was even better than what I just ate?  It would be a shame to miss that.

I think you all know how it feels to be sitting there when they call specific tables to go get their food. They do this for a reason.  There is no need to cause mayheim and madness when people can sit quietly and wait. But, what happens when they forget to call your table????  Seriously, I think this happens to me every time.  And believe me, I am watching them waiting for that call. They forgot us and sent every other table on our side. BAH!  Forget the sanity and order. You have to feed me now!!!

Once I finished eating I wanted to curl up in the fetal position under the table and just rock myself to sleep. My belly hurt. I ate too much too fast. I couldn't handle it. And this is the New Me.  Imagine how bad it would have been for the Former Fat Girl. She would not have stopped at one plate. There would be no dancing. There was food to be consumed. In all fairness, her stomach was a lot larger and could hold a lot more than I can now.

I would like to give a shout out to my mom.  She started Weight Watchers last month and really behaved at the reception. She limited her portions and kept to healthy options.  She even skipped the dessert bar.  And someone had placed a plate of desserts near her and she didn't even take a bite. She had her weight watcher bar in her bag for such an occasion. Go Mommie!

I don't know what the whole food thing was about for me. It's very out of character. I have worked so hard at being in control of my food situations...this is why I freak when it's not planned out. I don't exactly make the best decisions all of the time.  I know I reserved the day for my cheat day, but that wasn't cool. Is it from all of the stress?  Is it because being at weddings takes an emotional toll on me? I'd say it was a little of both.   I've mentioned the "if you buy it you will eat it" thing a lot recently.  Well I haven't been buying it because I KNOW I will eat it. So maybe this was just a reaction to a long surpressed urge for food.

Or maybe it's because I'm not with that special someone right now and that stresses me out too. And being there for this celebration of love is just a big reminder.  I know that I'm not exactly looking.  I don't exactly have a lot of free time on my hands right now. But, that doesn't mean that I don't want to find that someone soon. A date every now and then wouldn't be so bad.  I'm not getting any younger (a post on that is coming soon)...argh.  I am sure that was a big factor in the food issue.

Whatever the reason, I was a little annoyed at myself.  But, in the long run it could have been a lot worse. A LOT worse.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Monday, October 8, 2012

Dancing Queen or Jumping Bean

Happy Monday Bleeps,

Okay, so yeah, I was beat yesterday.  The wedding on Saturday was so fun and so exhausting. So worth it though.

So remember that I started the day at the gym.  I put in 4 miles because I was couldn't focus enough to run.   But, that's good because running would aggravate the knees and that would hamper the dancing. After the gym I stopped for a small turkey hoagie and a side of sliced apples.

Soon it was time to get dressed. A big Thank You is going out to my mom for helping to perform surgery on the dress. I used a different bra and I safety pinned the straps. Then mom put a stitch in on both straps to pull the dress in a little. I was good to go :-)

Due to some traffic issues we were a little late, but there were some issues so we didn't miss a thing. But, things were a little off schedule and that includes eating. Soon we were heading towards the reception.  Along the drive I passed part of the course for the Rock'n'Roll Half and I saw the Susan G Komen walkers. I got emotional. I really really Really wanted to do the 3-day with them. But, obviously, family wedding trumps all.  It was pretty sweet to see all of the pink walking though. I am doing it next year if it kills me.

When we got to the reception I could barely see straight. I needed some food. The appetizers during the coffee hour were outstanding. And they seemed to have some sort of magical powers. Because I couldn't say NO.  I started off really well. My first mini plate had vegetables, cheese/crackers, and a small chicken tender. Soon some mini spinach puffs arrived and they multiplied like crazy on my plate. OMG is that mini-hot dogs wrapped in pastry that I spy?  GIMME!

Technically if I had spaced out the food it would not have been so bad. But, I was hungry and I ate fast. This led to a minor upset belly. I had a diet soda.  It helped me burp and that was good. Soon it was time to move to the reception area.  There were some dances and speeches. And then it was time for dinner. There were many stations to choose from. I started with small slider with chicken and a side of ratatouille. Next up was the prime rib table. Like I'm going to say no to that. I only had one slice.  I skipped over the pasta bar and took one pot sticker from the Asian table. While I was there I was catching up with my cousin Matt and noticed the grilled eggplant on his plate. He pointed me in the right direction and off I went.

I felt extremely stuffed when I was done. My stomach is much smaller than it used to be and it was not happy with me. So you know that's when it was time to dance. I was torn. I wanted to dance, but I also needed to digest my food. I did not want to be that girl puking on the dance floor. I waited out a song or two, but the pull was too good.

I love to dance. I dance in the store if a good song comes on. I dance at the gym.  I dance everywhere.  I'm a jumper though. I have a great vertical leap. My family was enjoying watching me. haha.  My cousin said everyone was asking her where I got my energy.  She very proudly told them how much weight I have lost and that I am eating healthy and working out. Why thank you ma'am.  At one point someone asked if I was okay to drive home. haha..That's just me. I was not drinking anything except diet soda and water. 

I had a lot of fun, but I knew all of that jumping would hurt my knees. And I was right.  It also hurt my calves. They were mighty sore today, so I took it easy on the treadmill. For I am terrified of charlie horses.

There was a pleasant bonus at the end of the night. I was talking with cousin Matt, who recently moved back after living on the west coast for many years. He got his ACE Personal Trainer Certification back in 2006. It was great to talk to him about it, but then he scared the bejeebers out of me.  It was telling me how hard the exam is and what the passing rate is. He gave me sample questions.  SEE!  I told you I need to study hard.  He has offered me his study materials and has offered to help me study. I am most definitely taking him up on that!

Oh and I talked with another cousin who lives in Georgia (it's been a long time since I had seen some of my family). He and his younger sister do 5Ks together. He said I should come down for the Peach Tree City 5K. It's on Fourth of July and it's the largest in the country.  I don't think I can swing it next year, but it's now on the wish list!

It was a wonderful night. I was not fully prepared though. My mom was. She packed her snack in case she got hungry. Bah!  Why didn't I do that?  I ALWAYS do that!  I'm blaming it on the dress surgery. lol. It doesn't matter. I did not go overboard.  When I got full I stopped. I still had plenty of vegetables. When it was time for cake, I filled half of my plate with fruit and took one slice of cheesecake. Not the healthiest of cakes, but I was burning calories on that dance floor.

Okay kids, I'm still tired. haha. So I'm going to call it a night.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Saturday, October 6, 2012

Running for Beginners

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

I have a lot to say and not a lot of time to say it. haha. I am currently getting ready for my cousin's weddding, but I will multitask and blog while my toe nails dry. :-)

So let's just start off with the Confession now.  As I was leaving work last night I was asked if I wanted to go out for a quick drink with a couple of coworkers. I really REALLY wanted to go to the gym because I had missed it on Wednesday and I didn't know what what going to happen this weekend.  But, I never hang out with Ms. Kerri outside of work so I said yes.  I said "Oh HECK YEAH" when she said they wanted to go to Rock Bottom Brewery.  Some of my longtime followers will remember that this is the place that has the soft pretzel appetizers that I just cannot say no to.

Two giant pretzels brushed with our handcrafted ale and sprinkled with fresh garlic and Kosher salt. Oven-baked and served with Spicy Spinach Cheese Dip.
I was not up for drinks so I got a diet soda and asked if anyone wanted to split the pretzels. They didn't, but that didn't stop me.  My first thought was: Oh I'll just take the second one home.  And the second thought was: What's the point without the dip?  So yes, my dinner last night was two soft pretzels and a cheese dip.  BAH!
So this morning there could be no excuses. My butt had better get to the gym!!!!  I made it over there and the intention was to run for an hour.  However, as I was on the treadmill my brain went in a 1000 different directions.  1. I am going to a wedding this afternoon and I will be wearing heels. If I run and wear heels I will not be able to walk for a week because knees will be the size of cantaloupes.  2. I really need to trim my bangs. They are getting in my face. 3. What am I going to eat for lunch? I don't want to be starving at the reception. 4. What happens if I can't safety pin the dress in the boobie area?  What will I wear????  Basically, I got 15 minutes of running in and the rest of the time I just walked fast and read my book. 
My run today made me think of many things.  So this is for you beginners. For those of you who think you can't, oh you can!  I've come up with some tips and things that you will encounter.
So often I hear "Walking/running is so boring" or "I just get so bored doing that". And that's fine. It's not for everyone. First I will say, find something that interests you.  Second, make it not boring. By this I mean, get on the treadmill in front of your favorite tv show.  Just watch that and walk.  Or grab some friends and go walking and talking. Or read a book while walking. There are many ways around this.
But, sometimes your brain won't be in it for the day.  Most of the time I can get in a good zone and the hour is up before I know it. However, there are times (like today) when my brain is on overdrive and I am thinking so much that I can't focus on the run. That's okay.  The back up was to get out the book and just be happy with a walk. This just means I get another run day soon.
Tip 1. Pull your hair back.  I am never more aware of when I need to trim my bangs than when I am running and sweating. My bangs just hang in my eyes.  So I keep a headband in my gym bag. 
For my big chested ladies, please wear a good sports bra. It is the most important advice that I can give you. It makes such a difference.  Seriously, if I could duct tape them down I would.  Now please note that the most annoying part of my run is the first few minutes. I'm just going to put it out there. The nipples are rubbing against the bra and are very sensitive. Don't worry, it doesn't last that long.
Tip 2. Wear the right underwear.  You don't want stuff creeping up your butt when you are running.  Nor do you want your panties falling off because they are too big.
And just be aware, if you are anything like me you are going to sweat...everywhere...even down there. I keep a towel in my car for the ride home.  The other night after my really good run I got in my car and realized that my trunk wasn't closed all of the way.  After I got out and closed it, I came back and saw the nasty pile of sweat that was in my seating area...and it was puddle like. My whoo-ha was sweating something fierce.  Ick!  And don't suggest wearing a pad, because I sweat so much that the adhesive wears off and it will just fall out (been there and done that...not kidding).
Tip 3. Don't forget to eat before you run. Nothing huge, but you can't run on an empty stomach. We don't want you passing out.  Eggs. Oatmeal. Half a bagel.
Don't eat fried eggs and hash browns.  You don't even want to think about having to run to the bathroom because of the grease running through your system.  Then you are running with your butt cheeks clenched and it's just not a pretty sight.
Tip 4. HYDRATE!  Before, during, and after.
If you are running for more than 45 minutes plain water isn't going to cut it.  You need a gatorade or propel to replenish you.
Tip 5. Eat some protein after.  You are going to be hungry the rest of the day.  Do not panic!  You have jump started your metabolism.  Just be smart about it. Don't run and then spend the rest of the day on the couch with a bag of cheetos.
Alright kids, my nails are dry and I'm pretty sure I've given my mother a heart attack by now so I shall sign off.  I will tell you all about the wedding tomorrow. 

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Who is ready to freshen their Playlist?

It's that time again Bleeps,

Time to freshen up your playlist.  I'm going to share with you my finely tuned Half Marathon playlist.  A lot of these songs I have recommended before, but some of you are new...and some of you aren't taking your playlist seriously!  Haha.

Not one of these songs let me slow down. You tend pace with the beats of your music so it's IMPORTANT to keep it moving and fresh.

So here we go:

Whyyawannabringmedown - Kelly Clarkson
Animals - Nickelback
The Impression That I Get - Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Go That Far - Brett Michaels
Will you Be My Girl - Jet
Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes
Seven Nation Army - The White Sripes
Pretender - Foo Fighters
Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) - The Offspring
Walla Walla - The Offspring
Mony Mony - Biggest Loser Stadium Mix
Everybody Dance Now - Biggest Loser Stadium Mix
I Want Candy - Biggest Loser Stadium mix
Panama - Biggest Loser Stadium Mix
Unbelievable - Biggest Loser Stadium Mix
Don't Stop Believin' - Biggest Loser Stadium Mix
Sirius - Biggest Loser Stadium Mix
Sandstorm - Biggest Loser Stadium Mix
Kernkraft 400 - Biggest Loser Stadium Mix
Blow - Ke$ha
On the Floor - Jennifer Lopez
Nothin Better to Do - LeAnn Rimes
Giddy On Up - Laura Bell Bundy
Holler Back - The Lost Trailers
Something in Your Mouth - Nickelback
Burn It to the Ground - Nickelback
I Like It - Enrique Iglesias
Holding Out for a Hero - Bonnie Tyler
Give Me Everything - Pitbull
Animal - Neon Trees
5-1-5-0 - Dierks Bentley
Somebody Told Me - The Killers
Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf & Lil Wayne (also my ringtone)
Let's Go - Calvin Harris
Faint - Linkin Park
Bleed It Out - Linkin Park
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor (A MUST HAVE)
Everybody Talks - Neon Trees
Pound the Alarm - Nicki Minaj
I Wanna Be Sedated - Ramones
Good As Gone - Little Big Town
Enter Sandman - Metallica
Nothin' But a Good Time - Poison
Talk Dirty to Me - Poison
Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky) - Bill Conti (JUST DO IT)
Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
Chariots of Fire - Cheesy,  but so fun
Time of My Life - 3 Doors Down
Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins (Top Gun)
Sell Out - Reel Big Fish
Chasing the Sun - The Wanted
How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty (this makes me choke up every time...I start thinking about the words and feel very proud of myself)
Here It Goes Again - Ok Go (the treadmill video)
I Know You Want Me - Pitbull
Pause - Pitbull
Hey Girl - OAR
The Cup of Life - Ricky Martin
Turn All the Lights On - T-Pain
Steal My Sunshine - Len (heard it three times the day before on the radio so I felt it was my sign to download it)
Fame - soundtrack

As always, here is the list of the hottest new Playlist songs that gets sent to me.  Oh yeah, I already had some on there :-)

Here's the full list, according to votes placed at Run Hundred--the web's most popular workout music blog.
Dragonette - Let It Go - 131 BPM
Christina Aguilera - Your Body - 104 BPM
OneRepublic - Feel Again - 70 BPM
Dierks Bentley - 5-1-5-0 - 118 BPM
PSY - Gangnam Style - 134 BPM
Maroon 5 - One More Night - 93 BPM
Scissor Sisters - Only The Horses - 127 BPM
Flo Rida - Whistle (Disfunktion Remix) - 128 BPM
Ivan Gough, Feenixpawl & Georgi Kay - In My Mind (Axwell Remix) - 127 BPM
Enrique Iglesias & Sammy Adams - Finally Found You - 128 BPM
To find more workout songs, folks can check out the free database at RunHundred.com. Visitors can browse the song selections there by genre, tempo, and era—to find the music that best fits with their particular workout routine.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Holla for Random Wednesday

Can I get a WOO WOO for Random Wednesday???  WOO WOO

Alright kids, today was a day of rest and I don't know what to do with myself. I took a half day so that I could go see my cousin play in a field hockey game.  I had never seen her play before and her school was up playing a college very close to me. Not gonna miss this!

So I took half a day and came home. I packed my gym back and my lunch for tomorrow.  I finished my Rock'n'Roll marathon scrapbook. And I hit up Starbucks for some study time before the game. Finished another chapter. Only three to go! WOO WOO. I did have my free drink card so I went for my Venti Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino.  Definitely my "treat" for the week.

The chapter that I finished was about teaching. One of the points was "Instruct the client to wait until he or she is ready to change before returning. Beginning an exercise program with an insufficiently motivated client increases the probability of poor outcome and the client scapegoating you or the probability of poor outcome and the client scapegoating you or the program."  This is soooooooo true. It frustrates me that the Former Fat Girl wasted so many years. You could talk to her until you were blue in the face, but it wouldn't make a difference. She wasn't ready. It was such a mental block.  Too much not believing in herself. Too much emotional attachment to food. She just plain was not ready even though she knew she was unhappy. She was afraid of failure.

Believe me when I say this is what I worry about most. There are soooo many people that I want to reach. I want to help them, but they aren't ready.  I try not to push because I know how they feel, but I want to help them sooooo bad.  It's something I struggle with daily. There are friends and family that I wish I could reach. I just have to be happy with the surprise friends and family that I wasn't expecting to reach.  It's just not their time yet...but I will be here for them as soon as they are ready!

So let's move to game time. I didn't exactly know where the field was so I was driving all around campus. I found a parking spot on a side street and saw some baseball players practicing. I figured they could point me to the field. It was a bit of a walk to get to them. But, they were so cute. They let me walk through their field and helped me. Also said I could stay and watch them if I got bored. haha. Oh what cute jail bait.

I sat in the stands and watched the teams play. I kept thinking about how much fun their lives are right now. They are all in great shape and in college. Halfway through the game the track team/Cross country team (not really sure which one) came out for practice. They only had one corner of the track to use and kept running back and forth. At one point they were hopping on one leg for 100meters. It was mesmerizing. I got excited watching them and then I got incredibly sad. Why wasn't this me in college?  Why was I such a slug? I can never go back and get that time back. It hurts. So many years wasted. I know that I should be happy that I am making all of the positive changes and that I am a whole new me, but that doesn't change the fact that I get angry with the Former Fat Girl.  ANGRY!  Then terribly sad for her. She missed out on so much.

After the game there was tailgating. Oh heck yeah! BONUS! The parents provide food for the team and I got to join in. I loved that Mic said "And it's healthy so you can eat it :-)"  It was. I had a wonderful salad and some fruit...and some killer potato salad (Thank you Aunt Sarah!!!!).  It was way better than the dinner that I had planned. haha.

And on that note, Sunday was chili Sunday.  It fit the budget. I had forgotten that I had a pack of deer burger in the freezer.  Now don't go ewww on me. I don't eat it all of the time, but it's grown on me. It does take some getting used to, but it's a lean meat so that's good. So all I had to buy were the beans and tomatoes. Chili Sundays have been very good for me budget and protein wise.  Gas wise...well not so much. Ugh.

So tonight when I got home I finally tried on a dress that I had been putting off. I wore it four years ago for my brother's wedding. I loved this dress. It was a tad snug then though. We actually had to use candle wax on the zipper to get it up. Well not anymore!  Not only did it zip, but it's a lot bigger in the boobie area than before. I'm not sure how I'm going to work this.  I'm super excited! And a little upset. I don't have the budget for a new dress. I have a wedding this weekend and it's on the formal side. My other option is the bridesmaid dress that I wore two years ago....I haven't tried that on yet. I think it's going to be a game day call. I'll keep you posted.

Alright kids, I am ready to call it an evening.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):


yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile