Thursday, May 31, 2012

Magic-8 Ball and Boys

Happy Thursday Bleeps!

I just downloaded the Magic-8 Ball app on my phone so I'm going to make this short.  haha.  I have LOTS of questions to be asking!

So do you remember the injuries/pains I was talking about after the 5k?  ARGH!  I brought up the leg pain to Hottie Instructor on Tuesday.  He said I might have shin splints. I had that pain lower in the shin previously.  It had never been this high up.  He suggested I roll a tennis ball over it.   I was hoping some rest would help, but last night it hurt a lot just crossing my legs. BAH!  It doesn't hurt as much as it did this weekend, but it still hurts.

Did I mention that it's below my good knee?  (I don't think putting all the pressure on it kneeling in church so that I wasn't kneeling on my bad knee helped...did you follow that?)

The pain in my foot came back a little during boot camp, but I barely felt it.  So yeah me!

Dear Magic-8 Ball, will I be the only one in Boot Camp next week?  My Reply is better be my teammates!

Even still, the plan was to hit the treadmill for 90 minutes tonight.  Walking only!  That was the plan anyway.  I brought my book with every intention of that.  But, then I saw a boy.  Argh...I haven't seen Gym Crushes 1-3 in a while, but there is a 4 creeping in.  He's a sexy runner.  Seriously, I used to be into the big bulky guys.  Now, if the guy is a lean runner I am smitten.  Lean, not super skinny.  There needs to be some muscle there.  I can't handle it if my legs and arms are bigger than his.

Well this potential Gym Crush 4 was two treadmills away just running and running (he also spends extra time on the weights too).  He looked over and smiled when I got on and I didn't want him to see me I ran. DAMN IT!  Why do I do this?  Two minutes in and my foot hurt.  That stupid pain from Sunday was back.  Did I stop?  NO.  I kept up the running for 15 and then cut it back to a walk.

Before I did though, I saw Gym Crush 2.  Holla!  It's about time!  I had been so focused on the run though I missed him for most of his workout.  Oh well, he is nice eye candy.

Dear Magic-8 Ball, will I ever see Gym Crush 1 again?  Better Not Tell You Now....bummer

I stayed on the treadmill for my full 90 and got in 6 miles.  But, here I sit with my foot and leg elevated.  DOH!  Does anyone have a tennis ball I can use?

Dear Magic-8 Ball, will my leg feel better soon?  As I See It Yes....Sweet! 

So what do we think I will do tomorrow?  Can I stick to just walking?  I really need to go to the gym with blinders on.  Haha.  Actually, no way.  I like the push.

And now for the question we all want the answer to:

Dear Magic-8 Ball, will Tony Stewart ever call me????  Reply Hazy Try Again wasn't a No!

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Wednesday Randomness

Hello Beautiful People,

Are you keeping cool?  Are you drinking your water?  I hope you said yes to both of those.  We haven't had a randomness day in a Happy Random Wednesday!

Today a friend was having a rough time.  She really needed to talk something through and get out of the office so I asked if she wanted to go to Starbucks with me at lunch.  I had already had a General foods international coffee (vanilla caramel) this morning so I was not allow a "fun drink".  I would get my iced green tea unsweetened.  It's refreshing on a hot day.  I so very much wanted a pastry too.  I wanted a cake pop.  I wanted a slice of pound cake.  I wanted a cookie.  I did not get any though.  Today is cake day at work.

I had asked Lety yesterday when we were going to be having the May birthdays cake.  Normally I would pass, but since it's celebrating my birthday...well it's just the polite thing to do.  She mentioned that it would be today.  She knows I like to plan ahead.

Cake time came and I had a tiny slice of vanilla with vanilla icing.  It was gone by the time I got back to my desk.  And then I scraped the plate.  Oh damn it!  I want another piece!  I begged Ms. Barb to get me another piece.  She did.  And then I called her my "Enabler". It was good though and I cannot stress that they really were small slices. BAH!  I hate that I feel the need to rationalize it.

Tonight was my last night for book discussion at church.  My routine has been to go to Subway Wednesday nights and split a foot long between dinner and lunch the next day.  As I was driving there I remembered my New Year's resolution: No Fast food (especially drive-thrus).  June is two days away and I can proudly say that I have not been to McDonalds, Burger King, or Wendys in 2012.  Now, truth be told I did go to the drive thru at chick fil a once, but that was because there were no parking spots to go inside.  But, I got a grilled chicken sandwich on a whole wheat roll so that doesn't count really.

It's been easier than I thought to pass on Fast Food.  The only thing that has really truly tempted me has been a McDonalds Sweet Tea...$1 of pure joy.  It's a bargain and just unbelievably good.  It's also more sugar than is humanly necessary.  The size is a great deal for the price, but it would be nice if they sold it in smaller sizes.  I'm weaning myself off though.

When I left church tonight it really hit me.  My Wednesdays are open now.  And after next week my Tuesdays are open (booo...I will miss my classes).  That means I am back to the gym.  I haven't seen a Gym Crush in ages....where fore art thou Gym Crushes.

Since I don't have a class and a scheduled day off I need to make my schedule.  It's been hard to schedule my weights because of class.  Now I can get off schedule by a day and it will be okay to pick it up the next day.

So it's been hot.  Really hot.  And I have a lot of hair.  It's been pony tails for me for months, but especially lately.  The sucky thing is that even with it up, my head is soaked after a workout.  My hair is very thick.  I am soooo ready for locks of love cut!  It may happen sooner than later.  I get impulsive like that.  One of the girls at work wants me to do it tomorrow.  Well, I'm not that ready.  The only thing really holding me back is figuring out what to do with it while I workout if it's really that short.

Well I'm tired Bleeps.  Sweet Dreams!

****Please note****
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Revealing secret desires in Boot Camp

Happy Tuesday Bleeps!

And you know what Tuesday means: Boot Camp!  Second to last week.

When I left the apartment this morning it was as if the Dementors were sucking my soul.  It was hot as Heck!  I had to make a plan in order to survive class.

Step one: Drink more water than ever.  Check.

I drank 60oz by 3pm.  I was peeing every hour.  And quite frankly, I could have gone every 30 minutes. 

Step two: Hit up the protein.  Check.

You need energy to burn energy.

Step three: Hit the exercise ball.  Check.

I had asked for more core work, so I had to do my part too.

Step four: Suggest Hottie Instructor bring a super soaker to class.  Check.

He didn't, but he thought it was a good idea.

I asked around and it was pretty obvious that it was going to be just me in class again.  I'll try to hide my disappointment. *giggle*

Before I went out to class I filled up three water bottles.  I was hot last week and I ran out before the end of class.  So I got two ready for class and one for the car ride.

When I got out to the lawn my first thought was: Hey, it's not that bad out!  I would like to thank the gallons of water I drank today.  It cooled my body off nicely :-)  Because of the heat and the fact that I hit my legs hard this weekend I only ran during the warm up.  Usually I run a lap in between stations, but not tonight.  I was good with that.

A big shout out to Hottie Instructor for tailoring the class to me.  I had asked him last week if we could go heavy on the Core and we did. :-)  I'd also like to give a shout out for making me laugh.  I had joked around about going to get my umbrella out of the car so that he could hold it over me and block the sun.  He moved between me and the sun and that helped a lot.

And you all know that my favorite part of class was the stretching.  I love how he asked if it was okay if he stretched me.  Seriously, like you need to ask. My response: Yes please!  I can stretch all I want, but it does not get any better than that.  It was practically orgasmic!  Yes, I really have beat the tar out of my legs.

I feel torn about being the only one in class.  I am very much enjoying the personal training.  Not gonna lie.  I am getting a lot out of asking questions and having him concentrate on me and my form.  I just don't get why it's just me though?  It's a free freakin class!  And then I think: um I did not take this class the last two years either.  But, that's different than coming and stopping.  Come back to class people! Just leave before it's time to stretch! :-)
Next week is the last week of class and I will miss it very much.  I wish I had the money to hire him as my trainer :-(  He pushes me and I like working with him.  Two very important things.

I did take advantage of my private time to pump him for info...

The past two weekends I was constantly asked "What are you doing these days?"  It depressed me.  I have a job, but it's not how I want to be defined.  It's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. And it's sure as heck not what I want to talk about on my time off. Why the heck did I not talk about my blog?  Why did I talk about work? Bah!

I have thought about becoming a trainer for a long time now.  I don't know that it's what I really want to do, but I know that I want to move to the fitness field.  And now I am starting to do my ground work.  I asked him a lot of questions and I have many more to add.  Here's hoping it's another private class next week.

The reason that I haven't really pushed anything yet is because of my damn belly.  I keep thinking that no one is going to want to listen to me as long as I have it.  I'm working my butt off and I know where I lack.  I just need to step up and focus.  Maybe getting certified will help me focus. Maybe this is what I need.

The last time I voiced my secret desire it was about completing a Half marathon and I made it happen 3 months here it is Universe: I want to move to the Health/Fitness field.

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Day Weekend: 5K and Graduation Party

Happy Memorial Day Bleeps!

Did you have a good holiday weekend?  I did. It was wonderful.  It was another family filled weekend.  I'll be honest, I love them dearly, but they exhaust me.  haha.

I was trying to go to bed after my last post.  I had a 5k in the morning and I needed to leave early because I was further away than if I had slept at home.  I was sleeping at grandma's.  Since I had signed up for the 5k on a Sunday morning I had arranged to go to church (I don't go to catholic church anymore and the kneeling just about killed me) on Saturday night with Grandma and just sleep there since I would be there again the next day.

It was a good plan.  But, just as I was ready to go to sleep we had a family invasion.  My Aunt, Uncle, and cousins stopped in to say hi on their way to my Uncle's to sleep over.  The good news is that my Uncle was able to put in the air conditioning units.  The bad news is that I could not go to bed as I was sleeping on the couch.  I loved seeing them, but I needed sleep.

I finally fell asleep around 1am and I needed to leave in 6 hours.  It was very hard to get up, but I had to get ready and get on the road.  Luckily I got there early so I could just walk around and relax...and hopefully wake up.  It was beautiful. Nice and cool.

Happily I love the t-shirt I got. It's a cute lime green shirt with "Got Time?" in navy blue.  I had already chosen a lime green shirt for the day so I didn't change, but I cannot wait to wear it.  And on that note, I like to choose races that are fun and or support a really good cause.  I will try to talk up the causes as much as I can.  When I signed up for this race it was because I needed one more for the fitness competition and I liked this course.  The description was "For a Better Delaware" okay.  When I got there I realized what it was.  It's was benefiting Youth Volunteering in Delaware. YEAH!  Good cause!  Most of the volunteers at the race were teenagers.  I was happy to be a part of the day.

Okay, so before I even got there I had been having a pain in my leg just below my good knee.  Argh.  I had also worked out hard the day before.  More importantly I have two more weeks of boot camp so the rule was no running until boot camp is over. 

I am so bad at following my rules.  I took off running. I paced myself behind these two ladies and was with them for the first mile.  I was making great time. 12 minutes. Then I hit the concrete.  I don't always listen to the rules regarding my knees.  I sometimes abuse them more than I should.  But, this one I don't mess with.  My old track coach told me that I should never run on sidewalks.  It's the worst for your knees.  Especially my knees. 

So I dropped off and walked.  I'm okay with it though because that was the part along the water and it was pretty.  It was also stinkin hot. STINKIN hot.  It was like they flipped a switch when at the start of the race.  It went from nice and cool to a sauna in 5 minutes.  I was dying for some water and at the halfway point I saw relief.  I got my cup of water and then I saw them...the young boys with the massive water guns.  I'm sorry, I meant the extremely enthusiastic boys pleading me with their eyes to let them shoot me.

I stopped and spread my arms wide open.  "Have at it boys!" They went nuts and I got soaked.  Good thing I didn't wear the white t-shirt I had originally planned on. haha.

The water felt so good, but it also made me stupid.  Because I started to break my second rule.  Never run after a break from running.  I cannot run, walk, and then run again.  I have to finish running or I don't run at all.  But, I wanted a good time.  So I started running on the last mile.  And my knees let me have it.  They immediately seized and I was forced to walk.  And at a slower pace.  Damn it!

I finished 3 minutes under my best time so it was a good day.  However, it was so stinkin hot that I sat under a tree for an hour before I attempted to get in my car and go back to grandmas.  Oh, I did have my refreshments.  I sucked down several bottles of water, had half of a banana, a small cup of water ice, and half of a bagel.  I passed on the pizza.  The idea of the grease made me nauseous.  Besides, grandma was going to have pasta and chicken for me when I got back for lunch.

I called the house while I was halfway there to make sure that the shower was free.  I was disgusting.  In my head the plan was to shower, eat, and then nap a little.  Hahaha...seriously, when was my last nap?  It's always the plan, but it never happens.

Instead of napping I opted to kidnap two of my cousins and go to Starbucks.  I don't get to see them often and they are growing up.  I needed a sugar boost or I would never make it through the rest of the day.  So I picked up Keeley and Hannah and took them for frappacinos.  My Mocha Coconut is back!  And yes, I got the Light version. We had a couple of hours to kill before going to another cousin's graduation party.  So we went back to grandma's to help her get ready. 

Now my leg was fine during the 5k, but it started to hurt again.  And in addition I had a strange pain in my foot.  It felt like the strap of my flip flop was too tight on the inside of the foot.  The only problem is that I wasn't wearing shoes. Argh.  I have a heavy step.  I walk hard, I must have done something running. I got a foot massage and it was heaven.  It didn't stop the pain, but it relaxed my muscles (I iced it after the party and it's been fine today...yeah!).

I love my family. I love my cousins.  They are the sweetest cutest most darling girls that you want to hate because they are so beautiful, but they are the best so you can't.  But, it's hard to be around them without feeling ginormous.

Hannah wants to go to the beach with me for the day.  She wants us to wear bikinis and hang so she can check out boys.  My first reaction: no one would give me a second look standing next to her.  She's 16 and looks like a neutrogena ad 24/7.  I would do anything for her though so if that's what she wants, we can go.  I may throw up at the thought, but I will do it.

So we get to the party and the first thing we want to do is find the food.  I was starving.  There was a taco bar and hot turkey sandwiches.  I made two small tacos heavy on the guacamole and salsa.  Then I added a small turkey sandwich.  I was STARVING. 

The key was to take the plates and sit away from the food. I never went back for seconds. But, I did hit the desserts. Newly married cousin Kim brought freshly made rice krispie treats.  GIMME!  I had a piece.  Later my aunt was walking around with trays of ice cream sandwiches (vanilla ice cream between two chocolate chip cookies).  Well it was hot!  So I had one.  Besides, they were small.  I went back later for another rice crispy treat.  And then another tray of ice cream sandwiches came by so I took another.

I'm not proud.  I know I had the frappacino earlier in the day.  I also had the water ice at the race. Desserts are my weakness.  I could have done much worse though and I have in the past.  I made sure that I would not be sitting around the bowls of M&Ms or the food.  That is half the battle.

I have been recovering from the weekend all day today.  I was too beat to go to the gym.  My back up plan was to do a yoga dvd when I got home, but that didn't happen.  I have been away every weekend this month so tonight was full of much needed cleaning and laundry.  I can't be upset with myself though.  I got in big workouts Friday, Saturday, and Sunday this weekend.  That's something to be proud of.

Well it's been a long weekend and I need to get to bed.  Boot camp is tomorrow and I need my sleep.  But, before I go let me give a shout out to cousin Michaela!  It was her graduation party and she is just the best! She's another of the tall skinny beautiful cousins that you are jealous of, but can't hate because they are so sweet.  Love ya Mic!  Congratulations graduate!

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Bikinis, Butt Machines, and Half Marathons

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

I hope you are enjoying your Holiday Weekend.  Can I get a Woo Woo for 3-day weekends?  WOO WOO!!!

So I have lots to talk about, but alas the Sixers game is on and I have to get to bed early tonight because I have to leave first thing in the morning for my 5K.  If I can't get it all in I will hit you up as soon as I get back tomorrow.

Hmm...where do I start?  Let's go back to Wednesday.  It was a big day for me.  I kept replaying a moment with hottie instructor from my private boot camp the night before.  We talked about my motivation.  My first response was "I want to win this competition!".  And then I told him about the bikini.  Well, am I going to make it all talk or am I going to jump?  I jumped.  We went to Old Navy at lunch and I found a bikini top that actually matches the bottom that I bought last year.  It was fate.  And it was on sale. I didn't try it on figuring that I would bring it back if it didn't fit.  It fit :-)

Deep breath.  Okay, I can do this.  It didn't look bad. I am not eager to go out in public and would like another month of hardcore core work (texted Hottie Instructor asking for more focus on that...and of course he's on board).   I would also like a little tan before I go posting pictures.  My belly has not seen the light of day since I was 5 so it's a tad pale.  I don't want to scare small children.  (We picked up a 110 SPF tonight just to be on the safe side....I'm way scared of the burn...I am a good tanner, but this is gonna hurt). 

So I promise that a picture is coming, I just need a little more time on this. :-)

Let's move on to Thursday.  Ms. Barb and I had to go out at lunch to pick up something for the potluck for Friday.  The new Wegmans opened up in King of Prussia so we went there.  I had signed up for fruit or veggies.  The trays were the same price, but the veggies platter was huge.  I had a vision of lots of veggies getting thrown out and it broke my heart, so I got the fruit instead. 

We had also both needed lunch so we went to the salad/meal bar area.  I was in heaven.  I made the best little salad and got some grilled asparagus and an eggplant roll with it.  It was like an eggplant parmesan manicotti roll.  But, a long one.  It was under 300 calories and I NEEDED to try it.  OH it was Delicious!

One of the great parts of the bar is that everything had a nutrition card.  Ms. Barb couldn't believe that a slice of pizza was 400 calories.  Yup, it's normal.  If you don't look this stuff up you really have no idea. 

Okay, so Thursday I was still thinking about motivation.  The fitness competition has been a great motivation, but I've been worried that I will lose focus when it's over.  The bikini is a good motivator, but the reality is that I have a one piece and a tankini to fall back on.  I would like to say that I don't need motivation, but that's not true. 

I found my motivation.  I signed up for the Philly Rock'N'Roll Half Marathon in September.  That's 3.5 months away.  Gotta train for it :-) 

I wish I could say that I have the 3-Day for the Cure as my motivation.  I really really REALLY wanted to do it.  But, alas I couldn't find a partner for it and I have two weddings in October.  I will do it next year though.  So start thinking about doing it with me!

I will have my December Half marathon as my next motivation...and I'll be honest. I'm seriously thinking of making that a full. I want a full marathon so bad.  That would need to be walked.  I think I could do it in 6 hours.  I'll see what my pace is come October before I register.  Anyone want to walk with me?  It's at the beach :-)

Okay, on to Friday.  Potluck day.  After we had picked up our trays I suddenly remembered "Hey, I don't do potlucks anymore!  I go out for a salad in protest." What the heck was I doing?  Would fruit be the only thing I could eat?

On the menu: chili, sloppy joe's, pot stickers, mac'n'cheese, chicken nuggets, potato salad, cookies, guacamole, taco dip, sweet and sour kielbasa, baked beans with hot dogs, ice cream, oreo get the idea.  Thank goodness for my fruit.

I had  a small sloppy joe, a scoop of potato salad, 4 bite sized pieces of kielbasa, some guacamole, and a little mac'n'cheese.  I wanted seconds but I let my belly catch up and I was good.  So I had a little vanilla ice cream with some of my pineapple on top.  Not the healthiest lunch, but my portions were small and I stopped at one plate.  So I was good.  I'll still skip out on the next one though.  Too much temptation.

So let's move on to my workouts.  Bikini means extra time on the butt machine!  Last night I did 30 on the elliptical, 30 on thighs/butt/abs, and 30 more on the treadmill. Dear butt machine...I heart you!  I am happy to report that I upped my weights on the thighs. Of course I'm a little sore today.  But, that didn't stop me from getting up and heading to the gym first thing this morning.  I did 30 treadmill, 60 on back/shoulders/chest/arms, and 30 on the treadmill.  I am back on track people!

The cool thing is that I keep a notebook with me and write down my weights.  Except for the shoulders, my weights went up on each machine.  I think the shoulders would have too, but I always tend to do that at the end when I am spent.  I'll have to try it earlier next time and see what I can do.

Afterwards I went over to the stretching cage.  It's awesome, but after my personal stretching moments after boot camp I feel spoiled.  I got my back nicely, but couldn't stretch my legs as well. Dang it! I am putting a beating on them already and they need some lovin.

So now I need to put together a training schedule for the Half.  I'm going to wait until after boot camp because I can't mix running and boot camp. The knees don't like it.  I was happy with my training last time, but that wasn't over the summer.  I travel a lot on weekends so I need to sit down in the next week or so and put something together.  It's all about planning ahead.

I saw a saying last week that I love: A goal without a plan is just a wish.

I am planning the heck out of the summer :-)

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Thursday, May 24, 2012

A day at the Ballpark with my Daddy

Happy Thursday Bleeps!

Sorry I missed a post yesterday.  A friend had to put her cat down this week so she had an impromptu wine and cheese gathering last night.  I will give her a big shout out for putting the tray of veggies in front of me :-)

I have a lot to tell you, but I can't keep putting off how Sunday's Phillies game adventure with Daddy went.  So I will tell you everything else tomorrow...although if you follow me on Facebook you know :-) (

Okay, so let's get down to business. To start the day I had spent the night at Grandmom's after the Wedding reception.  Grandmom, mom, and I got up and went to church.  After I had about an hour to grab something to eat, change, and load my car.  But, we still had to have breakfast.

The first place I saw was Dunkin Donuts.  Now, normally I would say NO WAY, but I wanted something that would stick in my belly.  A bagel would be good.  It would fill me up and it would not give me an upset belly sitting there baking in the sun all day.

I was so excited.  Do I have an everything bagel with reduced fat plain cream cheese or a plain bagel with a reduced fat veggie cream cheese?  I opted for the plain with veggie.  Of course what I received was a plain with plain. BAH!  Foiled!  But, no time to waste.  Eat and then go.

Originally the plan was to leave early and go to lunch before the game.  It's smart.  Less likely to buy crappy food in the stadium.  But, I did not get there early enough.  It's okay though.  I had that bagel and I really wasn't that hungry.

I love that my dad asked if I would mind parking further away from the stadium.  Mind?  I encourage it!  I was not getting to the gym and I would be sitting for most of the afternoon.  Shoot, park a mile away.  I'm cool with it!

When we walked in we decided to get something quick to eat and drink then head to the seats.  I cannot go to a ballgame without getting a hot dog.  It's simply un-american!  Just give me a dog and mustard and I'm a happy happy girl.  I also got my giant souvenir cup with diet coke to go with it.  I know, I should have had water, but I just cannot, I repeat CANNOT pay $4.50 for a bottle of water.  I would drink it when I get home.  Besides, the cup had Hunter Pence on it and I just simply heart him.

Our seats were awesome.  We were 22 rows right behind home plate. I could practically see Mr. Pence's pearly whites...

They were also out in the sun. It was hot and I was a sweaty mess. Had I been drinking water this would have been better, but I was not.  DOH!  After 5 innings I had to get up and go.  I was on a mission.  I had spotted someone with soft serve ice cream.  I was practically in the outfield by the time that I found it, but I enjoyed walking so it was okay. 

So let's talk about the seats.  As I said, they were fantastic.  I got some really awesome pictures of a certain Mr. Cliff Lee pitching (it wasn't the outcome I would have liked, but behind Hamels he is my favorite pitcher).  Anyway, the seats themselves....I was fine in them!  I had room!

I worked for the Phillies for 3 years back in the day.  I cannot tell you the number of games I went to.  But, sitting was always uncomfortable.  I could never relax because I was concentrating on not infringing on my neighbor's space.  My elbows would be squashed up against the arm rest and my legs pinching the side of the seats. I felt like I was a stuffed sausage.  It was not comfortable physically or mentally. Well not anymore!  I was comfy!  Well except for the sweat...ick.

I'm not going to lie.  I was very preoccupied during the whole game.  I would see some very large people having a hard time walking around and walking up the steps.  Physically it was hard for them, but they also had trays of fried food with them.  It pained me to see. I used to be that person.  Well I was never that large, but close.  It made me so sad.  I just wanted to reach out to them and help.

When the game was over we had to walk back to the car.  Love that walking!  And luckily Daddy had packed some water bottles and ice for the ride home. YEAH DADDY!  They may have lost, but it was still a good day. 

I knew Sunday was going to be my wild card of the weekend, but I am okay with my decisions.  One hot dog compared to a cheesesteak, pizza, or multiple hot dogs is good for me.  I did not have the soft pretzels or cotton candy.  I know I had the ice cream, but it was in a cup and it was a small.   The soda was not smart, but the cup is hot and I didn't finish it anyway.

It was a good good day :-)

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Boot Camp - I was the only one at class...No Pressure!

Happy Tuesday Bleeps!

I had originally planned on talking about the Phillies game from this weekend, but I have some other things to talk about first.  I'll get to the game tomorrow.

 First let me just stress the importance of a workout buddy.  Ms. Barb and I were going to walk today.  My knee was still sore, but I wanted to do it.  Then something came up and she couldn't go.  So do I go on my own or do I do something else?  Well I have boot camp tonight so I don't technically need to walk.  I could read.  Or I could run an errand.  The errand won out.

I hate that I relied on Ms. Barb for motivation, but I needed it today.  I spent the better part of the morning fighting to keep my eyes open.  I am a tired pup.  I have not recovered from my weekend yet.  And on that note, I think I mentioned that I was going to do a 5k on Memorial Day.  It would be my third during the Fitness Competition and I will max out on those points.  HOLLA!  Well I have a graduation party the day before and I know me and I know my family.  No way am I getting home at a decent hour.  I had not registered yet so I was okay, but I want that third 5K.  So I jumped online and found one on Sunday.  It's almost the same course as my Ronald McDonald House 5k from last month.  I loved that one. SIGN ME UP!  So I registered.  And the bonus is that I probably wasn't going to get a workout in on Sunday and now I am.  Go Me!

I love that I did that.  The former fat girl would have just cancelled and said "Oh well I tried".  Not the new me!

Okay, so you  know Tuesday means Boot Camp.  It also means rain. BAH!  It rained last night and it was in the forecast for the evening too.  Around lunch time I got the call.  It was up to me to have it inside or out.  I ran outside and checked the ground.  It was a little damp, but there were still a few hours to dry it.  Of course they recently mowed the lawn and if the grass did not dry it was going to get icky.  My call was to have it outside as long as we didn't get any more rain.  Of course as I said that there was a big giant black cloud coming our way.

When 5 o'clock came it was time to change and get ready for class.  It was going to be a hot one so I opted for my pale yellow shorts and white t-shirt. Not the ideal outfit if the grass was wet and messy, but it was better than pants.  Too dang hot.

So we waited and no one else came.  Yep, just me and Hottie Instructor (who now has this link so everyone say Hi :-) .  First thought in my head: OH CRAP!  No one to hide behind.  No one to distract him when I need a little break. It's all on me.

Okay, let's look at the positive side.  We can tailor the workout to me.  I can veto anything that my knees hate.  Seriously, this is like a free personal trainer for an hour.  I gotta be happy with that.  And let's look at the big picture.  That's 2 points for me and Zero for everyone else in the competition!

Ha.  He asked if I was coming for the next two classes. You bet your ass I am!  I want to win!  I said I want double points for coming!  haha.  Then I disclosed the whole "bikini on June 1" promise.  I still am not sure that will happen on June 1, but I guarantee by the end of the summer I will have a picture for you.

So there I am doing jumping jacks and squats all with Mr. Instructor watching me.  A little intimidating? Yeah.  And of course he points out that I have all of his attention. Of course the Former Fat Girl immediately thought "yeah, and he can focus on your jiggle...ugh"  Bah!  No pressure here!  No slacking!  Well, I did cut back on the running and walked it out, but that's only because I like to have use of my legs the next day.

Tonight felt like the quickest class ever, but it was just as long.  Maybe it went fast because we were talking the whole time, but I'm glad.  I still prefer yoga, but I like this class more and more each week.  We did throw in some new moves.  I think one was a Russian Twist.  That was nice.

Oh, we talked about the Mountain Climber which I love.  Some people has complained and so he had modified it.  Well come on people!  Don't go above your instructor's head to complain.  Just ask them for modifications!  They will work with you.  The fact that people complained and I've seen the numbers drop over the weeks makes me mad.  I don't think people are there for the right reasons.  I'm not going to not go just because I don't like the squat jumps.  I just modify and keep it at a squat.  You aren't being graded for goodness sake.  Suck it up!

At the end of class we always stretch.  Since it was just one on one he said he would stretch me out.  My brain went right to the yoga classes when we were paired up and stretched each other.  That was awesome so I was totally on board with that.  Of course part of me wanted to ask him to spot me so that I could try the handstand again, but I didn't. haha. (Steve if you are reading this please spot me next week :-)

I got down on my mat while he started to work my legs and the first thought in my head was "I did not shave!".  Sorry! The stretching of my shoulders and chest were fabulous. In retrospect I should have asked about stretching my upper back.  It's where I have my giant knot just below the shoulder.  It generally makes me cry when they try to work it out in a massage.  So maybe if I had a good stretch for it that would help.  Anyway, the stretching was awesome.  I beat the tar out of my legs this year.  I needed that something awful.  I want to do it again!  So naturally I joked about sending an email that would cancel class and I would be the only one again.  haha.  Seriously, my legs need that again!

Alright kids, it's time for me to hit the sack.   Sweet dreams!

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Monday, May 21, 2012

Love is in the Air...

Happy Monday Bleeps!

Ha...can Mondays every really be happy?  Well I'm sitting here with a swollen knee all elevated up so I'm on the fence about Mondays.

Okay, when last we spoke I was leaving the gym to get ready for my cousin Kim's wedding reception (she and Brad got married last month in Jamaica..soooo wish I could have been there).  I had dragged my tired butt to the gym and put in an hour.  I am super proud that I got that in.  I cannot express how tired I was.

When I got home I made sure to have a nice protein packed lunch.   The reception started at 5:30 so I wasn't sure when we would see food.

I like to plan ahead for most things, but one thing that I have a hard time with is planning my outfits. It really depends on how I'm feeling that day.  Is it a skinny day? Or do I need that extra space?  I still had to drive to grandmom's and pick her and my mom up so I decided to dress casually and bring my outfit to change into.  T-Minus 10 minutes until it was time to leave and I still couldn't decide.

I could take the killer dress from Easter with my sensible nice nude heels.  Or I could take the comfortable LBD with the kick ass black and white polka dot heels.  The smart girl said "take the sensible shoes!" and the former fat girl said "my god woman, wear the belly hiding dress!".

I was still tired on the drive so I stopped for some Starbucks.  I got a grande iced Vanilla Chai.  Be proud though, I passed on the pastries.  OH how I wanted a cake pop though.

When I got to grandmom's I had a full 5 minutes to change before we had to leave. The comfortable heels won.  So on went the spanx and the spandex dress.  I love the dress.  I love the comfortable heels.  But, I'm also smart and brought some flip flops to go with it. They eventually made it into the picture, but not soon enough (my knee is killing me).

The reception was held at the Reading Museum.  We had an hour's drive.  We might have made the Museum tour, but we made a side trip to see my cousin Michaela before she left for prom.  She looked stunning.  I felt like I was going to burst into flames.  It was hot...and spanx do not help.  Suddenly wishing I went with the black dress.

We did make it to the reception at 5:30 on the dot.  Appetizers and drinks were ready, but I had a mission.  There was an Andy Warhol exhibit in the adjoining room and I needed to see it before they roped it off.  I took my time and enjoyed it.  Then it was time to head for drinks.  My drink of choice: Peach bellini. But, they were going to be closing the exhibit soon and I ran back in to see it some some family.

Eventually I sat down to enjoy my drink when I realized I needed to get some appetizers in my belly first.  OH wow!  There was a lovely veggie medley.  Some asparagus.  Fruit.  A tray with tomatoes and mozzarella.  I was so excited, except that the plates were small.  I should have filled two plates.

I did not need to though, because soon it was time to eat.  My worry is always that I will fill my plate before I get to the last station.  I have a hard time picking and choosing.  So I started with a spoonful of ziti.  Then two pieces of tortellini.  Another spoonful (serving spoons mind you) of ratatouille (another vegetable medley).  I filled the center of my plate with salad and grabbed a roll.  Not done yet.  I had the choice of turkey breast or prime rib.  I eat turkey all of the time.  So I took a piece of prime rib.  He trimmed the fat and I was happy.

Natrually I cleared my plate.  It was delicious.  My immediate thought was: Go back for more!  But, I made myself sit there until my belly caught up with my head and I realized that I was full. I did not want to cross the line with spanx on.

There was a lovely duet playing music, but there was not the usual dance floor.  That did not stop me.  I move to everything.  But, I did not work up the sweat like I usually do.  So glad I went to the gym in the morning.

It's Dessert time!  There was so much to choose from.  I picked a small piece of tiramisu (YUM), more fruit, and a shot of Creme Brulee. I had never had that before...but I am hooked.

I cannot express how happy I was.  It was a wonderful time with my family, but I didn't feel guilty about what I ate.  I did not obsess over the food.  I was in veggie heaven!

So if you know me, you know I love to take pictures.  I also like to cheese it up. Kim and I took a bunch of pictures together and I was mortified when I saw them.  All night people were calling me "Skinny" and telling me how great I looked.  I thought I looked pregnant in some of these pictures.  I almost cried.  Then I went to the ladies room and realized that the spanx was failing me and had slipped down.  I fixed it and felt much better.  Although, I'm not going to lie...if there are video cameras outside of the museum, someone is enjoying footage of me shimmying out of the spanx and pulling them off.

It was a fun fun Saturday, but the weekend wasn't over yet.  I had to run home to go to sleep, for Sunday I was going to the Phillies game with Daddy....

***To Be Continued***

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Resisting Temptation...or did I?

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

It's been a busy couple of days.  It's been a challenging couple of days, but I am pretty proud of myself.  There is much to talk about so I may need to break it up into a couple of posts :-)

Let's go back to Thursday.  We had a cocktail party at work.  It started at 4 and my plan was to go for a tiny bit, but still leave at 5 and hit the gym.  We walked in at 4 on the dot and stopped right at the mashed potato bar.  Yep, you heard me.  The very first station was my kryptonite.

I was in heaven...and hell.  This couldn't be good.  Luckily, they were serving them in mini shot glasses.  You had your choice of topping it with bacon, onion, or beef bourguignon.  Since we were the first ones there they were still getting everything warm. The potatoes were in a chaffing dish and they scooped it out into a pan and heated it up...with some cream.  *CRAP!* I so wish I had not seen that.  But, I did. 

I had my little martini glass with my little mini spoon and it was delicious.  I could have had about 25 more.  We were good though.  It was time to move on to the fondu table.  My plate was tiny so I needed to be smart.  The first cheese I saw was a smoked gouda with cranberries.  I dipped a couple of apples.  Oh good stuff.  Then there was an asparagus bacon cheese.  I dipped two pieces of bread.  Yum. 

Enough with the cheeses...time to head over to the dessert table. My palms got sweaty and my breathing got shallow....oreos, rice krispie treats, pound cake, pretzels, marshmallows, bananas, and a chocolate fondu.  I think I forgot my name for a moment.

I had three pieces.  Can you guess what they were?  If you said banana, pineapple, and pound cake you are correct.  I was trying really hard not to look at the oreos and get us out of there when the presentation started.  OH FUDGE!  I am stuck in front of the dessert table.  If you think I can pay attention to one word being said you are WRONG.  I was having all sorts of naughty fantasies of dipping those oreos in chocolate. 

I seriously couldn't take it.  So we scooted out of the side to head to the bar...for some water.

Then at 5 o'clock while the party was still happening I got my butt in the car and went to the gym.  And yes, I was rewarded with some Gym Crush #1 time...holla!

So Friday rolls around and I have a Welcome back/Going Away party.  The plan for the day was to put in some face time from 6-7 and then hit the gym.  Knowing me as I do, I made sure that I walked at lunch...just in case.  Once again we hauled butt for 30 minutes.  It could have been longer, but I got quite pitty and I can't work in the afternoon if I am all sweaty.  They were a good fast 30 though.

Good thing because one of us did not quite make it to the gym that night.  I sat in a butt load of traffic and got there a little after 6.  Happily the first thing I saw was a platter of veggies.  I had a few carrots and celery to appease me.  It was your typical bbq.  Burgers, pasta salad, know the drill.  I held myself to one burger and a couple of forkfuls of pasta salad.  I had some fruit and veggies too.  That's what I went back for when it was time for seconds.  I was pretty proud. 

And then they announced the chocolate cake.  Oh hell. My little girlfriend got her big giant piece and sat in front of me eating it.  She took one bite and opened her mouth declaring that there were chocolate chips in the icing...Remain calm Jennifer...just stay on the not make any sudden moves...she is only not scare her.  Okay, so I may have coaxed her into giving me a bite...but she loves me!  I got a bit of icing.  And honestly, I was good with that.

Soon Strawberry daiquiris were being made.  I raised my hand for one...and let me tell you, there was no room to spare in that red solo cup.  It took me a while, but I finished.  And we all know that there ain't no going to the gym after daiquiris. That's okay.  I'll just get up in the morning and go right to the gym and put in extra hours.

DENIED!  Instead I was up until 3am talking to a friend.  I woke up at 8 and I hurt.  I was dehydrated and tired. It took me 3 hours to force myself into the gym. Oh I was out of my door in an hour, but I spent 2 hours walking around in a haze trying to get some shopping done and not really know my name. 

Eventually I put in my hour on the treadmill (at a surprisingly quick pace I might add).  It sucked, but I had to go.  I had no choice.  And then I had to run home to get ready for the wedding reception...


Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Shocking Headlines!

Happy Thursday Bleeps!

Have you been watching the news lately?   I watch every day and am constantly amazed at the dumb dumb DUMB headlines that I see.

Skechers To Pay $40 Million To Settle FTC Claims It Lied About Shape Ups

Summary: Skechers claimed that you could lose weight and tone up with their "Shape Up" sneakers simply by walking around in them.  These shoes run for approximately $100.  The premise is that they have an unstable bottom and that simply by walking or standing you are exerting more energy.  This in turn leads to you to burn more calories and tone up.

My take: If you bought those shoes you deserve to lose that money. Seriously?  You would need to walk miles and miles a day in order to see a change.  But you would see that change anyway just from the walking.  I sit on an exercise ball at work.  It is my chair.  It is the same premise.  It is unstable and forces me to use my muscles all day.  However, this is simply for toning.  I am not going to drop my belly from this and I sit on it 8 hours a day. 

Did you see the Kim K commercial for Shape Ups?  I almost tossed something at the tv.  She's "giving up her trainer now that she has her shape ups".  Excuse me while I throw up.  The hell she is.  Your $100 just went to Kim K.  Did you ever see her wearing them outside of the commercial?  Nope.  I checked.  Whenever she is working out she has regular sneakers on.

Don't buy into the quick fix.  I'm glad they are getting busted on this, but I don't think it's going to make a difference.

Most Fast Food Kids' Meals Don't Meet Nutritional Standards, Study Says

Summary: A study reported that only 3% of fast food kids meals meet the nutritional guidelines.  And this 3% all included milk as the beverage, fruit as the side, and a deli sandwich as the main meal.

My Take: Well color me surprised!  NOT!  Where is the iron?  Where is the calcium?  Where are the vegetables?  Where? Where? Where?  Keep looking because they aren't in most of these meals.  I can't believe there was even money on a study for this.  Common sense! 

'All you can eat' meets its match 

Summary: A man in Wisconsin is picketing a restaurant because they stopped serving him an 'All you can eat' fish meal.  He had 12 pieces and they told him they were running out of fish.  They actually fried him some other more expensive fish and gave him 8 more pieces.  He wanted more.  The police were called.  And now he is picketing.

In other reports it is noted that he was giving some of the fish to a friend who had not paid for the 'All you can eat' meal.  He also has a tab with the restaurant because he can not always pay his bill.

My take: He's an Ass.  Seriously?  Someone just wants his fifteen minutes of fame.  This restaurant ran a tab for him.  He tried to take advantage of them.  20 pieces of fish?  My word, they may just save his life by not serving him.  Let's face it, the picketing is probably the most exercise he's had in a while.   

Raise your hand if you were disgusted by this article. BOTH HANDS RAISED.  I was so nauseous reading this.   I wanted to go to Wisconsin and just yell at that man.  He is killing himself.  


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

It's all about planning ahead...with a side of Chick-fil-a

Hello my beautiful people!

I am happy to report that Ms. Barb and I made it to the mall to walk at lunch today.  Holla!  It was touch and go there for a while with her, but I got her to go :-)

I am also happy to report that I am in her head!  The other night her family went to chick fil-a for dinner.  Normally she would get the original chicken sandwich (fried chicken on a roll).  Yes, I do enjoy the taste of fried chicken.  Who doesn't?  But, come on, fried chicken on a roll is just crazy. Ms. Barb heard my voice and ordered the grilled chicken sandwich.  And she hated it.

Enjoying eating right takes some time.  If you are only used to fried and that's what you really want and that's all you smell, then grilled is not going to taste good.  But, you also need to eat it right.  I love her dearly, but she is a giant fan of ketchup and mayonnaise.  I winced at that, and then I tried to imagine that on grilled chicken and it made me want to throw up.

We could have walked for 45 minutes, but we saw a sale at Old Navy and cut our walk down to 30 minutes.  They were a brisk 30 minutes (we were a tad moist in the arm pit area...dang).

So we go into Old Navy because of the peasant top sale.  There were some super cute tops.  I had a pretty orange with purple trim one all picked out when I spotted some shorts that I fell in love with.  And you can't get a pair of shorts without a new top!  So I stepped out of my comfort zone and got tank-peasant top.  Why is it out of my comfort zone?  It exposes a lot of arm.  I love my arms and shoulders, but I still have my saggy spots that I'm not loving.  I have a couple tops that expose those bad areas, but not so much.  I'm going bold people!  I can't wait to wear them!

Tonight I had book discussion at church.  And I'm a bad girl and did not read my assignment. DOH!  So the plan was to go grab dinner and read before discussion.  The first thing I though of was that Q'doba has my favorite seasonal salad: Mango Salsa chicken salad....humina humina humina. Sweet!  That's the plan.

No wait, I still need to get gas.  If I go to the Exxon that has the low prices I will be right by Chick fil-a...mmm...yeah all of that talking about chick earlier put it in my head again.  Besides, I think we all know I would eat the taco shell from the Mango Salsa Chicken Salad...not today!

I ordered my grilled chicken sandwich (without ketchup and mayo....ewwwww).  And I got the side of fresh fruit instead of waffle fries.  Now they do have new desserts: sundaes and cookies.  I stayed strong though.  Besides, I have Temptations by Jello at home...Key Lime.

I tried reading the book while I was eating, but my brain just went all over.  I have a lot coming up.  Tomorrow night there is a Cocktail party after work.  Friday night is a gathering for a friend who is home from Afghanistan. Saturday is my cousin's wedding reception.  Sunday I am going to the Phillies game.  I need to be smart or this could be a disaster week.   

Tomorrow: Cocktail party
It starts at 4.  So I can pop in for a few veggies and a water.  Then I can still go to the gym after work.  I have lunch plans with a friend (Panera...Strawberry poppyseed salad here I come) so I won't be walking.  I have to get to the gym.

Friday: Welcome back party
So the question is: do I hit the gym before or after stopping by.  If I stop by first I am sure something can come up that would keep me from heading to the gym.  If I go to the gym first I will be extra sweaty to stop by.  Although he has graciously offered to hose me down in the back yard.  Such the gentleman :-)

Saturday: Wedding Reception
I will be hitting the gym in the morning. That's for dang sure.  And I will be inhaling water all day.  I asked what the menu is and the bride could not tell me. I think I can be smart about it, but the cake may be my downfall.

Sunday: Phillies Game
This is the wild card.  We are going early to go out to lunch first.  That's a good plan, but the smell of food will be a battle. Gum!  Gum!  Gum!  It's going to be hot so I will not to make sure I am drinking a ton of water.  I won't be working out, but I am going to try to hit the steps as much as possible.

So those are my plans.  Planning ahead is my key to survival.  I may not stick to the plans 100%, but if I don't have plans, then it's Armageddon.

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Taken down by a cereal box top...DOH

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

As you all know, Tuesdays are boot camp day.  They are also rainy days. BAH!  It was pouring today.  Early on I got the message that it was my call.  Did I want to postpone or move it inside. We decided that we get more people when it's held outside.  And while I do enjoy the leg up on points for the fitness competition, I also want to make sure enough people come to class to keep this program up.  So I texted cutie instructor to ask if we could postpone and add another week on at the end.  He was cool with that.

So now that meant that I was going to the gym after work.  My eye has been giving me problems because of the massive amounts of pollen in the air (I washed my car on sunday and within 3 hours you could write the Constitution with your finger on top of my car).  So I have been wearing my glasses for a bit.  The prescription is a few prescriptions ago so I can't see distances well. If any of my GC's were going to be there I probably wouldn't see them.  What a waste:-(

Once boot camp got postponed I had to revise my workout schedule.  The plan was to walk at lunch and then run at the gym.  But, I remembered that I needed to go pick up some presents for some upcoming events.  So walking at lunch was out.  I decided to just walk at the gym because I sweat so much my glasses would probably fog up.  There was no traffic and I got there fairly early. Hmm..Maybe I could put in 90 minutes on the treadmill...Oh crap, I still needed to get food for dinner and lunch.  I got off after 60 and went to the grocery store in the same parking lot.

After my shower when I got home I remembered that I had thrown out a box that may have had a "box top" for education on it.  I cut them out and divide them between Ms. Barb and my mom.  I was still wrapped in my towel when I picked it out and started to cut the top out.  And then came the scream.  I cut my finger.  I don't mean: "paper cut" my finger.  I mean: "probably should have gone to the ER cut" my finger.  It's right below the bend on my left hand pointer finger.

*I should probably clarify that the cut was from the scissors actually in the cutting motion on my finger...a nice little v-slice out of my finger*

So there I am walking around my apartment in a towel bleeding like crazy and all I'm thinking is "Crap, I am not going to be able to do weights for a week."  What?  Seriously?  That's the first thing I thought of? I am proud that that is what I was concerned about.  That's a far cry from the old me.

I am going to be in pain for a little while.  This is going to hinder my workouts.  I can still hit the treadmill and elliptical, but weights and push ups are going to be a problem.  And I'm pissed.  I was going to do weights and push ups tomorrow night after church.  BAH!

I will not let this get to me though.  The former fat girl would have used this as an excuse to skip the gym.  Shoot, let's face it, she would have used a paper cut as an excuse.   Not anymore.  It's not an option!  No skipping, just modifying.

I'm going to cut this short tonight. Quite frankly, typing hurts.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Monday, May 14, 2012

To go to the gym or not go to the gym...that is the question

Happy Monday Bleeps!

How are y'all doin?  Me?  Well I'm flat out pooped.  Quite frankly, I tried to pack too much in this weekend.  I made the plan that after I drove my grandmom home that I would just sleep over there and go to work from her place Monday morning.  That would save me another hour's drive so that we could spend more time with the family.

In preparation of this, I packed my gym bag for Monday night.  The plan was to go to work then the gym and then home to unload and unpack.  Well, that was the plan anyway.  I had a hard time falling asleep because of all of the horse drawn buggies that I could hear on the road.  And then I had to get up earlier than usual to leave earlier than usual. Let's just say that there was no Exercise ball today.  I may have set the record for most amount of yawns in a day.

So when I was leaving work at 5 the plan was still to go to the gym.  I really wanted a walk.  But, my body and my brain started arguing.

*You are too tired to work out.  It will exhaust you and then you will get sick.

**But, Gym Crush 2 should be there and you need some eye candy 

*You have to unload your car.  What if you can't get a spot out front?  Do you know how many trips from the back of the building that you will need to take?

**But, Kim's wedding reception is this weekend.  You need to get to the gym so that you will look slammin in that dress!

*Monday's are always crowded at the gym.  What if you can't get a treadmill?

**You can't do weights at home since you have Boot Camp tomorrow.  Might as well hit the gym.

*If there's too much traffic then it's a sign that I need to go home.


*Not only do you have to unload, but you have to unpack.  You have sweaty probably should do laundry too.

**You cannot have another week with multiple rest days!

*But, Bible study is cancelled on Wednesday so you can walk at lunch!

**Seriously, Gym Crush 2!

*You do not have anything for dinner at home.  So you'll still need to stop for food too.  You are NEVER going to get to sleep.

**You're book is good!  You can read and walk at the gym.

*You also need to figure out lunch for tomorrow!

**OMG you cannot stop yawning!  You need to go home!

This was pretty much in my head for the whole ride home.  Once I remembered that I can walk at lunch on Wednesday, the decision was pretty much made.  Well that and the Sixers game had a 7pm start.  The sad thing is that I have this internal debate several times a week.  The former fat girl is not going down easy.  It's extremely frustrating!

I am glad that I can recognize when I really do need to take a break.  I cannot afford to be sick right now.  As long as that is the reason and I am not simply blowing off a workout then I can live with myself.  I will NOT let myself get out of the habit.  It's simply not an option.

Well the good news is that I didn't tempt myself to run today so I should be okay for Boot Camp tomorrow.  Which will most likely be inside again...which means I will be a sweaty mess when it's over...which kind of throws off my plans to go grocery shopping afterwards.  I will figure something out though.

Sweet Dreams!

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day BBQ....YUM

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope you are all enjoying a lovely Mother's Day.  I am :-)  I have to get on the road in a little bit, but before I do I thought I would tell you about my day.

First of all, I did get up early and went to the Fitness center.  I got on the treadmill with my book.  The book is a good incentive not to run.  I'm trying to be sensible about my knee right now.  Let me just say that the fitness center used to have the treadmills facing a big giant mirror.  That was painful back in the "fat" days.  And was pretty much incentive not to go.  Now it's a beige wall.  Not so bad as long as you can see the tv.  Well I don't know what happened, but the three treadmills and two ellipticals are now pressed right up against the wall.    So you have to look directly up to see the tv.  If I tried to run and only had that wall to look at it would make me nauseous.  There is no "distance" point to focus on.

I was trying to decide between a full hour or cutting off a little early and doing some weights.  Tomorrow is a cardio only day so I decided to walk for 45 then hit the weights for 15.  I worked on my back  Then it was time to run back and shower before church.

After church I ran back to the house to load up and head over to my Aunt's.  Every year my cousins prepare a Mother's Day BBQ.  I am very thankful to be a part of this :-)  Yesterday we were told to "come hungry".   Appetizers start at 1 and dinner at 3.  You don't have to tell me twice!

When we walked in there were bowls of salsa and homemade guacamole (OH HELLO!).  There was also come bread with dipping oil and cut cucumbers.  I munched for a little bit, but then I had some work to do.

I had plans to wash my car in the driveway.  It was covered in pollen and sap.  It's not a bad way to spend a beautiful afternoon.  I came in starving when I was done and munched a little more, but then I had to get my mom's keys.  I usually wash her car as a bonus Mother's Day present.  This year it just happened to serve two purposes.  It kept me from eating until I popped.

Oh let it be told that I was brought out a frozen margarita while I was washing the cars....and yes, they still got clean.  HaHa.

When I came in after the second car was done, the bacon wrapped asparagus was on the table.  This is a crowd favorite...although it also instigates the 'asparagus pee' conversation.  I limited myself to two, but oh yeah it was good.

So what was on the menu?  Kabobs!  Chicken and shrimp kabobs with assorted veggies and fruit.  There was peaches and oranges in the kabobs.  Dang good I say!  We also had a tomato and mozzarella salad and a large bowl of fruit salad.  Oh I almost forgot the steak.  It was healthy and delicious!  And I am full!  And Bonus- I have a container for lunch for tomorrow.  HOLLA!

But not too full for the dessert.  It was a very small serving, but I wanted to lick my plate.  What is this delicious treat you ask?  It was sopapilla.  It was fried pastry with cream cheese and strawberries.  With some vanilla ice cream on top. There was lots of oohhing and ahhing.

A big shout out to cousin Randy who was the master chef.  It was awesome, delicious, and healthy (well except for the sopapilla).  It really truly is one of my favorite days of the year.  I enjoy the time with the family, but I love love LOVE the food!  I can handle the one serving of dessert because of the size and because the rest of the food was happy food.

In case you were wondering, I did not go to Starbucks today.  :-)

Okay, I need to get ready for the road trip back. It's pretty safe to say that I won't be hungry for the ride :-)  I am a full and happy girl.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Getting mad at myself!

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Well I'm just going to say it.  I am getting extremely frustrated with myself.  ARGH.  There is a reason why I am so strict with myself about what I eat and my workout schedule.  If I start to relax then I start to fall back into old habits.   I think things come up and this has been an unusual couple of weeks in my schedule, but that's the point.  I have been too relaxed about planning ahead.

This is my second week in a row with more than one rest day.  I don't even want to think about the number of "non-veggie" days or tortillas that I have consumed.  WTF!  I can't even let myself think about using an "unusual" schedule as an excuse because that's just crap.  This is just the beginning of my Summer schedule.  It's not really going to get that much easier.  I travel a lot during the summer.  That generally puts me out of my comfort zone.  I have my tricks to make things better, but that doesn't mean I don't make lots of poor choices either.

Yesterday I was doing so well.  I had my cereal at work, lots of water, and then had my pre-made sandwich before I left work for lunch.  That's where it ended.  I stopped at Starbucks on my way to pick up Grandma.  I had my "freebie" card so I like to use that on a big one.  Venti iced vanilla chai it is.  Ohh what is that?  Raspberry swirl poundcake.  Well I am still a little hungry...sure.  (it didn't even make it to the car). 

Go Grandma!  When I picked grandma up she told me that she had packed a bunch of grapes for us for the drive.  The smart Jennie would have done that.  The "39" Jennie is feeling a little spastic.

So we ate our grapes on the ride and when we got to Mom's I unloaded the car.  I was tired.  My eye was all jacked up from allergies.  I wanted to work out, but I also wanted to sit in the dark with my eyes closed for a bit.

Then we got the call that my aunt had made BBQ for dinner and we were invited.  You don't say no to that.  It was actually more like a sloppy joe type bbq.  Oh umm...gimme!  Technically I did not have a lot, but I felt like I was shovelling it in my mouth.  The good news is that I also some a lot of fresh pineapple.  GOOD stuff.

So today I got up and went straight to the fitness center. I was determined to make things better.  I have three more weeks of boot camp and I have decided that I will not run during this time.  It's just too hard to work out a running schedule that doesn't make me want to amputate my legs after class.  So I grabbed my book and walked on the treadmill.  I stayed on til I finished my book and realized I had walked 5 miles in an hour and 15.  Not bad. 

When I go to my mom's I like to go to the Used bookstore.  I read a LOT.  No body else was ready and they didn't really need to go so it was decided that I would go while they got ready.  But, I couldn't go without eating.  But, I didn't want to grab something on the road.  So I ate a weight watchers enchilada meal.  And then I was off. 

It was a good haul :-) and I was pleased. So pleased that I thought "Hey, why not go to Starbucks!"  I was an hour early for happy hour so I used my second "freebie" card.  BAH!  I have been good about getting talls and limiting my Starbucks calories and yet in two days I've had two ventis.  I have a late night drive tomorrow.  I am almost certain to talk myself into another Starbucks run.  I will be pissed with myself on Monday if I do this.

When I got back there was time for a 15 minute break before it was time to pick up my other grandmom and then we were all heading out for Mani/Pedis.  I skipped the mani and went for the spa pedi.  My poor feet looked horrible and my calves have been sore. They needed some extra attention.  Oh it was heaven.  BTW my color of choice: High Voltage...bright pink!

After relaxing we went to Panera for dinner.  I was hoping they would have that spinach salad, but they did not.  They did have a new Turkey avocado BLT. I got for half and then the french onion soup.  What's that?  I get a free drink and a free pastry?  I got a green tea and a peanut butter brownie.

Just because it's free does NOT mean I have to eat it.  ARGH!  I know better, but it's like once I let my guard down and started to have a little more "cheats" it becomes a habit.

While we were sitting there I excused myself to go run across the parking lot to go look for the 13.1 sticker.  I was halfway there when my nose was suddenly assaulted with the smell of KFC.  I immediately stopped and looked around. It smelled soooo good.  Hello!  I just had dinner and I had a dessert that I should not have had. Why does the smell of fried chicken make me stop in my tracks?  Because I am still trying to break a 30 year habbit. 

I am not going to beat myself up right now.  I am going to watch the rest of this race (GO TONY STEWART!  CALL ME!).  And I am going to get up and go to the fitness center before church tomorrow. After church I am going to plan out my week and put myself back on track.

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Happy Birthday To Me!

Happy Thursday Bleeps!

I hadn't planned on taking yesterday off, but birthday drinks were offered, and well it's a sucky number so of course I said "Heck Yeah!"

The day started off with a challenge.  You may remember that I eat cereal at work every morning.  Well I buy the milk out of the vending machine.  I buy two bottles a week.  That means that on Wednesdays I use some from each bottle.  So I casually stroll in and there are only chocolate milk bottles in, part of me wanted to do it. Shoot, it's my birthday!  And maybe if I had the peanut butter cheerios I would have had chocolate milk with it :-)  But, what was I to do?  I had so little milk.  Luckily Ms. Barb had some.  SAVED!

After my cereal I got on the exercise ball.  I had been off of it for a few days. But, I can always see a difference when I sit in the regular chair for a few days.  Workin my core at work!  It's awesome.

For birthday lunch we were heading to Bahama Breeze.  It's one of my favorites.  Starving!  Boot camp was the day before and I burned some mega calories.  So I wanted to order one of the small appetizers.  Ms. Barb is a picky one.  I wanted either the hummus and veggies or the chips and salsa (it's a small portion).  She wouldn't eat either so the smart thing to do was to order veggies and hummus.  I was not going to be having a margarita (it was lunch time after all) so I chose the salsa and chips.  It was good.

My lunch was the pulled pork bbq sliders combo.  There were two sliders and a house salad.  The salad was a great size ad it was delicious: Spring mix, tomatoes, cucumbers, pine nuts, and a delicious dressing.  Two sliders was perfect!  Just enough to enjoy the taste and not enough to feel guilty.

And well since it's my birthday we went for some virgin pina coladas too!

I was happy with lunch and then I stopped at Subway on my way to choir practice.  Time to get a  foot-long (half for dinner and half for lunch) oven roasted chicken on wheat with spinach, cucumber, tomatoes, and honey mustard.  I wanted to make it a meal and immediately thought "Get the two cookies!  Go on!  It's your birthday!".  And then I remembered the pina colada.  I'm good.  I got some sun chips.

After Choir gym buddy Lisa asked if she could buy me a birthday drink.  Oh twist my arm!  We picked up another choir-ite and off we went.

Hmm...what should I have?  I settled on an appletini.  I haven't had one in a while.  For personal reasons I don't really drink a lot of vodka any more.  So you can imagine that I was feeling pretty good pretty early on.

Lisa needed something to eat so she ordered some grilled shrimp.  As I am allergic to seafood I had to pass.  But, food needed to be eaten.  Bah.  Look at any appetizers list at any bar and tell me what you can eat?  Nothing.  Everything is greasy and fried.  It's another reason why I don't drink that much any more.  Good food choices never happen when alcohol is involved.

So we ordered chicken tenders...and a platter of nachos.  I would have been happy with the tenders, but my belly was very happy with the nachos.  And I don't know about you, but if that nacho chip isn't covered in melted cheese than I don't want anything to do with it!  I hunted and pecked and took a couple of those...okay, maybe more than a couple.

I had a lovely night out and it was very nice to celebrate the big 3-9.  You need to know that I took 29 way harder than I took 30 so this was a tough mental one for me. A real tough one.  I almost wore all black as is my usual tradition.  But, I am a new person so I wore colors :-)  Bring on 40! Well not yet, give me at least a year to ease into that one.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Indoor Boot Camp = big giant sweaty mess

Happy Tuesday Bleeps!

So Biggest Loser tonight.  I'm not sure what to do with myself.  haha.  Luckily I'm wiped out from Boot Camp so it's a rest night.  Sixers come on in an hour so I'm just killing time.

How was your day?  Mine was full of pollen.  As I was driving into work I saw the yellow parking lot with tire tracks all over...this was scary since we did have a little rain the other day.  Where did it all come from?  Tonight was boot camp and I had a mini heart attack.  This I would end up in the hospital unable to breathe.  Oh and ps- they were mowing the lawn this morning too.  Just call 911 now.

It was not even 10 minutes into the day when my eye started to freak out.  I was having problems at the office with it yesterday.  I went out and got the emergency glasses in the car.  Since they are old they mess with my balance so the Exercise ball was out.  Oh well.

A little after lunch I was still hungry so Ms. Barb and I were heading over to the vending machines to grab some pretzels.  On our way we saw the extra salad and sandwiches on the counter in the kitchen area.  Let's go investigate!  The salad looked awesome and there was a pasta salad too.  So I filled my plate 3/4's of the way with the real salad and then put a couple spoonfuls of the pasta salad on there.  The pasta salad had asparagus and sun dried-tomatoes.  YUM!  What a pleasant surprise.

A few hours before boot camp I got the message that I was the point person for the night.  It looked like rain and it would be my call about moving it inside. Hmm...I would sweat like a pig inside, but I would die from pollen outside.  I asked the cutie instructor what his preference was. Well it started raining so the decision was made for us.  It then turned into a mad scramble to find a conference room.  Long story short, we would be having Boot Camp in the cafeteria area in the middle of the office. Oh this is gonna be fun.

Earlier in the day I had emailed my team to remind them about the exercise seminar that we have on Thursdays.  5pts each for attendance.  Then we discussed coming to boot camp.  We were all going to be there.  DUCKS IN THE HOUSE!  (Not sure if I mentioned that was our team name or not...assigned to us).

I was pretty impressed that we had 7 people in class tonight.  After warm ups we were divided into three groups for our stations.  It worked out nicely and we worked together to keep mats in two stations so that everyone could use was the cafeteria floor after all.  The other station would be standing movements.

So we had our warm ups and my first station was push ups.  I got down on my mat and was grossed out.  My knees were already sweaty and I was sliding all over it.  haha.  It's going to be a long long class. After each station we jogged in a circle around each station to the next.  And then after each rotation we jogged 3 laps.  It was funny because you always had the "core" group trying to get up off of the mat before the next group was jogging over them.  I can only imagine how we looked to everyone walking by.  And oh yeah, there were plenty of those.

So after two rotations and a hundred laps I was soo thirsty.  I was chugging water during the break.  Big mistake.

My next station was crunches and my belly was gurgling. I could feel water just sloshing around in there.  So yeah, pretty much the second half of the rotations involved me trying not to throw up.  Ugh.  I know better. I can't chug water and then run either.  Same thing happens.  Bah!

By the time class ended I was slick and glistening...and grossing myself out.  I should have stayed and moved the tables back, but I will do that in the morning.  All I could think of was to get outside to cool off and then get home for a shower....even though I sat in traffic for an hour...bah!

Well good night kids.  Sweet dreams.

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

Monday, May 7, 2012

Beware: Days of Rest are Contagious

Hello Beautiful People!

Did you get in a workout today?  I did.  After MUCH debate.  Why?  Because just as they say in Nascar: Cautions breed Cautions.  Well I believe that Day of Rests breed more Day of Rests.  BAH!

I usually have one day of rest a week.  I know, that may sound like I overdo it to some of you.  My schedule is not for everybody.  I know people are happy if they can find time 3 days a week.  I need this though.  I'm still on a journey and I'm getting older.  It's getting a little harder to make changes to my body. 

So I had my usual Wednesday day of rest.  Then I had Friday too because of travel. I worked out on Saturday and had every intention of working out on Sunday.  The plan was to get up and go to 8am Church Service and then hit the gym before the race and games started.  But, I did have some margaritas the night before and my body was completely enjoying a "relaxing weekend".  And so the plans changed to 'sleeping in and going to the 10:30 service.  And then I would run home and hit the gym before Heather came over.

Service went a little long and I didn't get back until noon.  The plan was for Heather to come over around 1.  So instead of working out, I ran up and showered and packed up so that I could enjoy the race and Sixers game :-)

Once I was showered I sat on the couch to read a little.  And then I laid down to read.  And then I put the book down and closed my eyes.  I have been really pushing myself.  My body is TIRED.  I hated taking a third day of rest in such a short period of time.  Especially with the food I had eaten.  But, I don't want my body to turn on me.  If I run myself into exhaustion I will end up getting run down and sick.  Then I will be out of commission for a few weeks.  So a couple extra days of rest are worth it.

So now the problem is that my body is going "Hey there sister...this is nice.  How about some more?"  And then the brain kicks in "You know how much you have to do right?  You need to do laundry, you need to go grocery shopping, you have projects, you're going away this weekend when are you going to get this done?"

I love to hit the gym.  I really do.  I know this.  So what's going on?  Why do I try and talk myself out of it so often?  Old habits?  Is it the Former Fat Girl Fighting me?  That's what I fear.  I have come so far, but she had control of this body and mind for so dang long.  She's not giving up without a fight.

Tomorrow is boot camp.  We are expecting rain tonight and it will be damp tomorrow, but I was assured today that it will not be postponed.  So that's all I needed to push aside those negative thoughts out of my head.  I needed to hit the gym tonight for a walk/run.  I need to be limber tomorrow.  Well that and Monday = Gym Crush 2.

And what happened when I walked into the gym?  Do you know what day it is?  It's the first monday of the month...that means pizza night. BAH!  And let me just say that I walked in to see two large women sitting there eating slices and I wanted to Scream! Just because it's at the gym does not make it okay.

Now with that being said, part of me thought: Hey, money is tight until payday.  This is a free dinner.  No one has to know.  I would know!  So I walked right to the locker room and got changed.  After my workout I pulled out my protein bar as I left.  No pizza for me!  I was very happy with myself.

My next day of rest is Wednesday (my birthday :-) and then I have another travel day on Friday.  However, I am going to try and hit the fitness center when we get there.  I will workout Saturday morning and really try to wake up early on Sunday.  If I can't get to the gym I will at least take a walk :-)  Let's hope for some nice weather.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Margarita Madness...and I don't regret it one bit!

Happy Sunday Bleeps!

Sunday generally means race day and as Tony Stewart is racing in Talladega today you'll have to excuse me if I start to write gibberish. :-)

So when we last left off I was heading out in search of a Margarita....oh I found one!  Heather and I had planned on going to our favorite place Tequila Mockingbird.  You can imagine that it was going to be a little crowded.  When we pulled up you could see people pressed up against the windows and there was a long line outside.  The wait was over an hour.  Normally we wouldn't mind a wait since we could just hang at the bar, but that didn't look like it was going to happen.

We got back in the car and headed to a new Mexican place that opened up in Fenwick Island, Matteos.  We parked and walked in and waited for someone to come seat us.  Luckily they had one table for two available.  As soon as she told us that the doors opened and people started streaming in.  Take us to our seat please!

The place was pretty packed for Cinco De Mayo, but the Kentucky Derby was about to begin too. LOL.  It was kind of funny when you think about it.  It should be two totally different crowds, but it all worked. 

Specials for the night: $3.50 margaritas.  SOLD.  Oh and PS- We got carded :-)

So we started with margaritas and some complimentary chips and salsa.  Damn good salsa too.  Took a little while to get our glasses of water, but they eventually came.  We started with the taquitos with a little guacamole.  Way better than the lean cuisine taquitos.  Haha.  Now the smart thing to do is to order the salad or the fajitas.  The salad proves a challenge though, because I want to eat that dang shell it comes in and that defeats the purpose.  I wanted the fajita, but I was getting a little full from the chips and the taquitos so I ordered the 3 taco combo.  Heather got the Fajitas.  Bah.  Her food smelled so good that it made it hard to like mine.  (I did have a left over taco for lunch today and it was really good so it was just the smell of hers that got to me). 

Our waitress was really nice.  She hung out at our table during the Derby so she could watch it.  Haha the entire bar went silent for that 90 seconds.  And then the roar started as I'll Have Another made his move.  It was pretty cool.

Okay, so she was even nicer when she brought me a Birthday Margarita.  Love her! The night did not end there.  For we had seen the tequila lime pie on the menu.  Naturally we saved a little room for that and got our to go boxes for the leftovers.

Oh dear heaven, it was completely worth it.  The slices were small but the flavor exploded in my mouth.  THANK YOU.

So, you may be saying to yourself "What the heck Jennifer, this doesn't sound like you at all.  What is going on?"  Well, it is birthday week and I do allow myself indulgences one weekend a month.  I really try to limit it to that one weekend though.  If I open it up to more, then there's no telling where it will end.  More importantly, when I eat like this, I feel sick after.  If my body reacts like this after just one meal, what the heck have I been doing to myself all of these years?  No thank you.  I will indulge for the weekend, but then go back to treating myself right.

The challenge for this month is that I have something going on every weekend.  Next weekend is Birthday weekend part 2/Mother's day.  The weekend after is a wedding reception.  And the weekend after is Memorial Day weekend/Graduation party.  I will just need to be wise and smart about my decisions.  I still have a fitness competition going on!

I still have to travel back home after the race.  And it's still Happy hour at Starbucks...I do need some caffeine for the ride.  I still need to plan ahead for dinner so that I am not starving and just eat anything in front of me.  I did get some Subway gift cards for my birthday so perhaps I will stop for some dinner and pick up lunch for tomorrow.  That sounds like a darn good plan to me.  See, I'm already making amends for the weekend. :-)

Big shout out to buddy Kristin for running the Broad Street Run today.  Awesome job!

Okay, I want to watch this race...and the Sixers game.  Time to focus!  Have a wonderful night.  Oh and Tony Stewart CALL ME!  Or, someone Tell Tony Stewart to call me!

Check out my Facebook Page for  Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile