Tuesday, April 30, 2013

May: my make or break month

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Let's face it, May is going to make or break me.  I have so many things going on that I can't keep it straight. There are potlucks, dinners out, birthday festivities, mother's day festivities, races, Soccer games, studying, Challenge bootcamps, workouts, work...I'm tired just looking at my schedule.  Basically I am busy every weekend except Memorial Day weekend, and up until this past weekend I had something planned for that weekend too (now completely and utterly dedicated to studying).

June doesn't look much better. I have a baby shower (totally excited Kim!) and then my brother's family is coming up for a week (nephew snuggling!!!!!).  Then it's father's day weekend. Seriously, I have 2 free weekends between now and July.

I'm scared. I know I have the tools and the knowledge to survive. And I appreciate everyone who will either say "you'll do great" or "you deserve a break". Both are true :-) It doesn't mean I don't worry though.  All it takes is a couple of "oh just today"s to lose my ground.

I didn't want to participate in the Health and Fitness challenge this year for several reasons. The main being that I wanted all of my focus going towards studying.  I'm glad I'm doing it though. I'm still sticking to my 5 day workout and keeping 2 days of rest. I may not win this year, but I am going to do my best to bust through my latest plateau.

Today Ms. Tracey and I went out to the front lawn and simulated last week's assessment. We altered it a little though. To warm up we walked one lap around the lawn which is a quarter mile. Then we did push-ups, squats (without weights), and plank. We finished with 3 laps: walk/run/walk.

The good news is that my plank and push ups increased. My squats increased too, but I had weights last week.  We didn't time our laps. I ran last night and had a lot of pain in my knee today during the running lap. Our focus for that was to just work on acclimating the knees to the uneven ground.

It was a good lunch.  We had gotten our numbers back and I was happy to see where I fell in a lot of the categories. My push-ups put me in the "Excellent" category...and that was without doing them in months :-)  My plank was "above average". I was good with that. It was still much higher than last year. My sit and reach was good. Thank you yoga!  And then came my mile time. "OK". Argh. It really sucks. I am not fast. I am getting steadier, but I am not fast. It sucks when people who barely walk can run faster than me. I am not conditioned for fast running though. I have to keep reminding myself that. I am working on faster shorter distances.

Last night I was running on the treadmill feeling really good about myself. I was matching the person next to me stride for stride. And then I saw her pace. She was a full 2.0 above me. I just don't have a long stride. I know that's not an excuse. There are plenty of short fast people, but I can't extend my leg fully and that holds me back too. So for all of you out there you don't think you can do races, my advice is pick fun ones. I don't like truly competitive ones. I am only ever in competition with myself, but I'm not having fun I'm not signing up again next year.

Okay, so that took a tangent. Back to my schedule. This Friday we have a Cinco De Mayo Potluck. I signed up to bring guacamole and vegetables. It is department wide so I am hopeful that the food will not be set up right by me. My plan for that day is to get my food, eat it at my desk, and then go outside for a walk or go to the store or something. I will not go back for seconds.

This weekend I have my CPR training, Philadelphia Union soccer game with former Work Husband Phil, and then a 5K Sunday morning. My food for Saturday will be eating out all day. I have to plan ahead. Sunday will be race then study all day. But, I always have a hard time focusing after. Perhaps I will plan on a nap (30 minutes only) and then study.

The following week is my birthday week. I will be going out to dinner and then going down to my Mom's for Mother's day weekend. We usually have a BBQ, but this year is an afternoon of appetizers. I'm going to need to request a menu...and plan a run or fitness center time.

The weekend after that is Girl's weekend at the beach. I'm excited and really scared for that weekend. We will be active, but I am worried about my food. I have so many places that I want to go. ARGH.

So on top of the worries of working out and eating, I am really worried about my studying. I am already a little behind. And I'm even more frustrated because the stuff I am studying now is stuff that I read with my old book. My retention for that is pretty much Zilch. So it's like I had to start all over again. I can't fall behind more, but when I push myself at a faster pace I don't really focus and don't do really well on the quizes and activies...which ticks me off. I start second guessing myself and change my answers when I should have left it alone. I want this sooooo bad, but I'm getting frustrated. I need more time!  I should take a week off from the gym and just study all week, but I need the gym to move me. I will lose my mind if I turn into a study blob. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Argh...

Is it Memorial day weekend yet?

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com

Monday, April 29, 2013

Sleep: Up All Night

Happy Monday Bleeps!

I could use a nap...seriously, a day full of sleep would be nice. And speaking of sleep, tonight feels like a good night to recap the Sleep webinar that I attended last week.

Sleep: Up All Night

We all love sleep  and we know we are supposed to do it, but why?  Why is sleep so important?  It does more than just rests and energizes us. It's also when the brain reorganizes memories.  It's when hormones are released.

37% of Americans say that they have been so sleepy during the day that it interferes with daily activity.

Nightly recommendations
Newborns: 10.5-18 hours
Children ages 5-12: 10-11 hours
Teens: 8.5-9.25 hours
 Adults: 7-9 hours
 *Should increase if sleep deprived from the previous day

He asked us what we thought the longest that anyone has ever gone without sleep.  I was STUNNED. 18 days 21 hours and 40 minutes. Without sleep for that long, the person experienced hallucinations, paranoia, and memory loss.

If you suffer short lived insomnia don't worry. It's normal and usually doesn't indicate a problem. The bigger concern is chronic sleep loss. This can lead to: weight gain, heart problems, mood swings, less  powerful immune system, problems with learning and memory.

And speaking of learning and memory...sleep allows you to form memories.  Studies have shown that people slept after learning a task did better on tests later. *Staying up to cram all night is bad for memory retention.

You know everything that interests me these days relates to weight. Sleep is important for metabolism and weight control. It affects the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates.  It also changes the levels of hormones that affect our appetite and make us hungry.  Studies have shown that Americans who average 5 hours of sleep or less are more prone to weight gain. You do NOT have to tell me twice!

*1/4 of children who slept less than 10 hours became overweight by age 6

If I do not get enough sleep I am cranky!  Sleep affects your mood and productivity.  Sleep loss may make you unable to concentrate, moody, impatient, and irritable.

Long term sleep loss increases the risk for hypertension. Americans who average less than 6 hours of sleep are 3.5 times more likely to develop hypertension.

Did you know that you are at at a higher risk for a heart attack first thing in the morning? The increase in heart rate from sleep to awake is startling on the body.

One thing that scares me is Sleep Apnea. Apnea means "without breath". You literally stop breathing while you sleep. It can stop more than 100 times. Often for a minute or longer.  The symptoms of Sleep Apnea are: Snoring, overweight (men with a neck size of 17 inches or more, women with a neck size of 16 inches or more), high blood pressure, and headaches in the morning.

How fast do you fall asleep?  On gym nights I can fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow. Those years when I drank diet soda from morning til bed was a different story. I could lay in bed for an hour before sleep.

0-5 minutes is not enough. That means you are too exhaused.
5-15 minutes is healthy.
15-30 minutes means too much stress.
30-60 minutes is insomnia
60 minutes plus you should see a specialist.

There are 5 stages of sleep and you should cycle through 5-7 times a night. Each cycle lasts 90 minutes.

Stage 1 - Light Sleep
twitchy, lasts a few minutes

Stage 2 - 50%
on set of sleep, brain activity is slower, 20 minutes per cycle

Stage 3 - 1st Deep sleep
difficult to wake up

Stage 4 - 2nd Deep sleep

Stages 3 & 4 are important to feel refreshed. This is non-REM sleep.

Stage 5 - Rem (rapid eye movement)
25%, dreaming, breathing and heart rate increase, starts approx 70-90 minutes after sleep starts

Tips for Better sleep (gotta say that I love that I started doing this on my own, before I even heard it)
*Avoid vigorous exercise 2-4 hours prior to bedtime
*Avoid long naps and keep any napping under 30 minutes
*Don't nap late in the day
*Avoid substances that interfere with sleep
      -Sleeping Pills
      -Alcohol, spicy foods, caffeine, nicotine
      -limit liquids in the evening
      -take medicine early
      -limit caffeine to morning

You cannot relax if you body is stimulated. Oh and decaf is not caffeine free.

There are certain medicines that keep you awake.
*Non-prescription
     Decongestants
     Nicotine
     Antihistamines
     Stimulents
*Prescription
     Diuretics
     Anti-depressants

When it comes to bed time, for both children and adults, follow a regular pre-sleep routine.
*go to bed at the same time
*have relaxing activities as part of the routine
*use bed only for sleep and intimacy, not watching tv
*read a book or magazine (without pictures...images stimulate the brain)
*think of a relaxing place

Practice stress relief activities:
*Stretching
*yoga, guided breathing
*progressive relaxation
*visualization

Eat light in the evening
*Digestion is slowed while you sleep
*full stomach before bed can cause indigestion, gas, or difficulty sleeping
*light snack
*avoid chocolate (caffeine)

Invest in a good bed and clear clutter from the room. Make it a dark and quiet area. Keep a notebook next to bed and write out your to do list. Clear it from your mind before sleep. Turn off the lights

It was all good stuff. And on that note, I shall bid you all a pleasant night of sleep. I am ready for some ZZZzzz's

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Goldilocks and the 2 Grandmoms

Hello Beautiful People,

There once was a girl with two grandmothers who could not be more different.

I love spending time with my grandmothers. I am very grateful that I have a good relationship with both of them and am basically the apple of their eyes. Yes, I am "The Princess".

They are both in their 80's and in terms of physical health could not be more different even though they were both very active most of their lives.

Mom-Mom was always the strong Ukranian grandmom that was always active in the garden. Grandmom Joyce had six kids and was constantly on the go while keeping a regular exercise schedule (think Jane Fonda).

Today, Mom-mom uses a walker to get around. This is an extreme embarrassment for her so she does not like to walk around. In return, it is now harder for her to walk around because her muscles are not being used. We try to get her to walk around as much as possible trying to tell her that it will get easier the more that she does it. She even got a new hip a couple years ago was amazing through physical therapy. But, that has nothing on the mental block that is there.

Yesterday we talked on the phone and she asked how I was. I said "I'm getting old in the next couple of weeks." She joked that I can never catch up to her. I said I want to be like her when I grow up. And immediately she got frustrated and said "I hope you do. Then you know what it's like to need a walker."  It breaks my heart. I can tell her until I am blue in the face that if she walks around more often it will get easier...well you know the saying "can't teach an old dog new tricks". The embarrassment of the walker far outweighs the idea that she can do it.

On the other side we have Grandmom Joyce. She needs a leash. She is so active that it's hard to slow her down. She is out there every day walking her dog or going to the YMCA to make sure she gets her one mile walk in every day. As a result, she's very mobile. Almost to the point where if she is sick with a cold we start to worry about her.  She's a tough old broad though (who reads this blog faithfully...Hi Grandmom Joyce!  You rock!) so I don't worry too much.

When I go to these running races and I see these senior citizens out there week after week I am in awe. They did not wake up the day before and decide to start being active. This is a lifestyle they have chosen.  That's what I want to do when I grow up. And I know that I am on the right track now. The odds are in my favor that if I keep up my activity level I will still remain mobile as I get older.  If I had stayed on the Former Fat Girl's path there was zero chance that I would suddenly decide to get more active in my 80's.  Besides the fact that the extra weight on my not so healthy bones would have made it even harder to get started.

A lot of the studying I am doing is stressing how important being active not only for your immediate health, but your health later on in life. 

I'm not gonna pretend that I know what Mom-Mom's mindset is. I can only imagine that for so many years her life revolved around my Pop-Pop. For years after he passed she stayed very active in her church and with her group of friends. Then she got sick, but she's tough and she beat cancer.  So even though she says that she doesn't want to be here, she hasn't quite let her body in on that fact. This is not the life and body she is comfortable with. she then went from being independent and living on her own to living with my family and being dependent on others.  She's frustrated. Understandably so. It's a good thing that I got my stubbornness from her then. I will not give up and will still continue to get Mom-mom to get up and walk because I know she can

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 

Friday, April 26, 2013

Flashback Friday: Eat, Poop, Walk, Blog...

Happy Flashback Friday Bleeps!

I still giggle over this one...hmm...not much has changed on this front...

Eat, Poop, Walk, Blog...

Happy Monday...

Well Vacation is over. Luckily I had a half day today and worked the West Coast Shift. That meant I got my walk in this morning. I met my cousin at 7am (all of those Sunrise club mornings got me ready). We headed over to the lake to walk for 4-5 miles.

Lots of good talking this morning. As I mentioned yesterday, he competed in his first 5K on Thanksgiving and now he's training for his first Half in March. GO RANDY! Hopefully he can come and be my cheerleader for in two weeks :-)

Okay, so do you watch The Office? It's one of my favorite shows. My favorite episode is the Fun Run. Michael Scott (oh how we miss you Mr. Carrell) gets the office to run a 5K for the awareness of the cure for Rabies. The best part of the run is Andy's "nipple chaffing". Before the race he puts band-aids on his nipples and halfway through the race they are bleeding. It always makes me laugh. So yeah, apparantly this is a real thing and I should expect to see this at the race. OMG I don't know if I will be able to keep from laughing. This could be bad. Really bad. Someone is going to beat me up over this.

That was just one fun topic that came up. We also talked about Turkish baths and my fear of having have to go number two during the race. So yes, I am a regular girl. And I do mean regular. (My mom is dying of embarrassment right now). I eat my greens. I fiber it up all day long. The race is at 7am. My fear is that I will need to go during the race. I can't do that in a porta john. I just can't!

After the walk we were meeting Mom, Auntie, and the grandmom's at IHOP. Did you know that they now have a Light & Fit menu? I KNOW! I'm excited too. Okay, so it's only a very small portion of the menu, but it's still there. So I got a turkey bacon and swiss omlet with fresh fruit. GO ME! Well...after I ordered my white chocolate mocha (a girl's gotta stay awake). So the lesson here is that a lot of places are offering healthy options. You just gotta look for them and be strong. It was delicious. I had their whole wheat french toast last time. It was goooooood.

After breakfast it was time for a quick shower then we had to get on the road. Thank goodness there was no traffic. I made it home an hour before I had to start work. YEAH. So I unloaded (more stairs...bah) and got to work. So here's the thing. I was craving chocolate all afternoon. I don't have any in the apartment, but I just really really wanted it. What the heck? I have a hundred things to do and all I have on my mind is chocolate. I seriously have problems :-(

Before I go, I wanted to share a text I got this morning. A friend who joined my family for Thanksgiving weighed in today: I lost 2.5 pounds during Thanksgiving week. You are clearly a bad influence on my holiday fun. Well I try. :-)

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Thursday, April 25, 2013

2013 Health & Fitness Competition: Initial Assessment

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Alright kids, it's begun. Today was Day 2 of the Fitness Assessments for the Health & Fitness Challenge at work.  Enter Madness!

Yesterday was my day of rest and for some reason I woke up with a sore knee. A strange twinge that I hadn't felt before. Dang it.

The first assessment was at noon. I could not wait to go change and head out there. I didn't have a scheduled time for mine so I figured I would get out there a little early and get a head start.

When I got out there a couple people were already started. YEAH!  I love my Eager Beavers. I quickly joined in and took care of a few of my numbers.

I was pretty good with my sit and reach. I'm pretty flexible. I have really been good about stretching. 

My push ups were okay. They were better than the first assessment last year, but not as good as the final assessment. But, I haven't really been focusing on that so I'm not really surprised.

My plank was also better than the first initial assessment, but not as good as the final. That makes me sad. I work on that all of the time, but it was a different environment. Outside on the grass is not the flattest surface. I don't know if that was a factor or not.

I was not thrilled with the jump squats with weights. In general, I tried to avoid jumping in an attempt at a peace offering with my knees. The numbers for this were lower than the weighted sit squats so I didn't know where my numbers would fall. I was ok with my numbers on this, but I will try to work on it.

Then I got a little busy helping and guiding people through their assessments. Wellness Partner In Crime (WPIC) and new teammate Carol came out for her Assessment. I promised to hold off my 1 mile run/walk and run with her. When it was time to run were were doing great for the first 3 laps. I got super parched and needed to stop for a quick drink of water (pollen city). Overall, I'm happy with my time for it. WPIC finished 30 seconds in front of me.

When it came time for my pinches and waist measurements I was not looking forward to it. First of all, I should have done that before I started workout out. I felt a little bloated. Second of all, I really cut back on the weights when I immersed myself in training.  I have been slowly working it back in, but it's not been my focus. I definitely lost a little muscle tone since the last assessment.

I LOVED today. I loved working with everyone and cheering them on. I even loved pushing FCANR during his jump squats. I was done with my stuff but I still jumped in and did bodyweight squats with him.

One thing that I was a little surprised to hear was how shocked people were when we told them that the course mapped for them was a quarter of a mile. They needed to loop it four times. I'm not sure how short people think a mile is.

Okay so now that the assessments are complete it's time to get started. We will have boot camps on Thursdays. I'm happy to report that I am Alex's Girl Friday for this. I can participate, but instead I will help him watch everyone and show proper form. I'm good with that.

I'm also going to offer to everyone that they can join me out on the lawn at lunch on Tuesdays. I will do my best to simulate the assessments and we can work on them together.

You know that now that I am participating I WANT TO WIN!  I really really do...but I have to step back. I want to take this exam more. I can't let this affect my studying.   If there's anything that I learned the last two days, it's that I can do this. And I'm good at it. So I will use this as more motivation.  I just have to plan ahead.

It's hard for me to study after an intense workout. And if I'm skipping the gym on Thursdays now I guess I need to go back on Wednesdays. It frustrates me to sit in traffic anyway, so why not workout.  If I'm not participating in the boot camps that can be my day of rest. I should still get home a little after 7 and that can be a new study night.

I definitely need to sit down this weekend and put together a schedule.

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Random Wednesday: Challenge ON!

Happy Random Wednesday!

Do you remember my horrible haircut experience?  I think I've been pretty good about not bringing it up every day. I do appreciate that so many people like it, it's just too much maintenance for me. Argh. Anyway, I don't remember if I mentioned this as part of the horrible experience, but during the original bad haircut (before I went back to have them fix it) she managed to cut my necklace. You know, the pretty Tiffany necklace that I treated myself to. Thanks lady.

Anyway, I finally got around to taking it in to be fixed last week. I have felt so naked not wearing it. I should have it back next week. But, this has got me thinking. When I turned 30 I bought myself a Tiffany ring. I LOVED that ring. Last year I gave it to my mom because it no longer fit me. It was simply too big and kept falling off. Well I am two weeks away from the big 4-0. Maybe it's time to replace it. I have been on that website every day and there are 3 rings that I like. Now let's not get crazy. I am talking the cheapest they have. I have not quite found my Sugar Daddy yet (Tony Stewart Call Me!).  One of the rings is like a mini version of the original ring. Another is an olive branch pattern. The third one is a simple silver band with the Tiffany blue running through it. I like that one, but I'm afraid it will clash with about 90% of my nail polishes. 

I like the idea of getting one. It'll be a much smaller size than the first one. YEAH!  Sadly, it depresses me just a little that none of my Tiffany jewelry has ever come from a boy... Size 6 boys! I've also never been given flowers...seriously, I need to upgrade with the next boy.

*****

Tonight was study night. I switched it up a little. I went to a bar to study. hahaha. Seriously.  Actually, I went to a restaurant-bar that a friend of mine manages. The original thought was to sit out on the patio and study. But, it was a little breezy. So instead I opted for the bar. Oddly enough, I thought I would feel awkward in the dining room.

Would you believe me if I told you that I was actually really able to study? I am shocked. I didn't listen to my headphones either. I was able to push away the noise and focus. Go me! I wasn't even bothered by the smell of food.

Also, I was able to have a great dinner. I have been drooling over a bison burger on their menu for months. So I got it. I could have gotten a side salad, but I got the beach style french fries. I'm okay with this.

I did not eat all of the roll nor did I eat all of the fries. I was nice and full when I left. If I had eaten everything on my plate I probably would have felt sick. As it was, I knew to stop because my jeans felt a little tight.  So I wasn't able to stay as long as I would have liked. I did refrain from ordering dessert...even though I really REALLY wanted to.

***** 

I can not get enough of the Survivor stories from the Boston Marathon Bombing. I would like to give a special shout out to all of these amazingly strong people. One thing that struck me is the number of people who were not runners and lost limbs that want to run in next year's race. I love that. What amazing spirits and attitudes. I would LOVE to be there to cheer them on.

*****

Today was a GREAT day!  It was day one of the Fitness Assessments for the Health & Fitness Challenge at work. It was AWESOME!  I went out to help with questions and directions. I got to help people with form and explain what we were doing and why certain things were needed on their forms. And then I got to be the timer and cheerleader for everyone in the 1-mile run/walk. That was my favorite part. I couldn't stop grinning. I cannot wait until this is my every day life.

And I can't wait to do it again tomorrow!

*****

Before the assessment I had a webinar to attend. I know, I know...I still owe you my notes from the first two. This one was for the importance of sleep. I am not going to lie, I didn't think I'd really learn anything. But I did!  And I will get these notes to you all shortly I promise.

*****

Today was Breakfast Club day. And it was very needed. I had a horrible commute in (long commute took an extra 30 minutes). When I walked in I was tired and wanted something to wake me up (Ironic considering the webinar topic..haha). And then I saw breakfast...Oh yeah...it was an egg/sausage/cheese scramble in a biscuit...served with tater tots. HOLLA!  It took total restraint to just put one spoonful of tots on my plate and take only one biscuit.

Luckily for me, Ms. Liz is a Vegetarian and tried very hard to eat around the sausage. She couldn't do it and offered me he rest of hers. Um yes please. I really need to get back on my Vegetarian schedule, but I think it's best to just wait until I get older in a couple of weeks.

*****

I was not planning on participating in this year's Fitness challenge. I was happy to help organize it and play cheerleader. And then my Wellness Partner In Crime (WPIC), Carol, told me a little something. Former Fitness Competition Arch Nemesis Ryan formed a team and they have named themselves SPF. It stands for Six Pack Factor.

Um...guess who is now in the challenge. haha. WPIC and I are now on a team together. Someone's gotta show these boys who's boss. CHALLENGE ON!

*****

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

If you've never been fat, you have no idea...

Happy Tuesday Bleeps,

So a couple thing happened today that I feel compelled to talk about. I'm just going to dive right in.

Every morning as I drive to work I like to listen to a sports talk radio show. I love this show. I've been listening for many years. There are two hosts. One is a skinny analyst and one is a former football player. They are great with each other. At one time they were both doing P90X together. One was slimming down and one was bulking up.

I've always cringed when the one would be referred to as "the big fella", but he's a former football player and well that's how it goes. He has lost a considerable amount of weight and they were discussing a new logo this morning that used older pictures. The F word was thrown around. I know the one guy didn't realize what he was saying, but he just kept throwing it out there. He was saying how the other guy is not fat anymore and that took away a lot of his jokes.

Maybe this talk doesn't really bother him, but I can't see how it wouldn't. He did at point point say that calling him fat hurts, but it was very softly spoken. I don't know if he meant it or was playing along.  It's hard to tell. But, I was very bothered by it. In all fairness, the skinny one is often picked on for his lack of muscles and athletic ability so it's probably just the nature of the show, but that doesn't make it right.

And then at work today came a conversation about larger people on planes. A larger woman was put in the middle seat and the people on either end were forced to sit on an angle.  Should she be forced to pay for two seats?  Lots of people thought she should. And then someone made the comment "It's as simple as burning the calories you eat."

I sat there ready to explode. But, I do not involve myself in certain conversations at work. I do not get involved in Political discussions, religious discussions, social issue discussions, etc.  Nothing will ever get resolved in a work conversation and I will just end up festering over that discussion for the rest of the day.

I sat at my desk about ready to pop. Seriously, I think I had steam coming out of my ears. I wanted to get up and scream, but I stayed seated. I'm sorry if that disappoints some people, but I did it for a few reasons. First being, that I really truly didn't think I could control myself when I unleashed the beast on this one and well, I didn't want to get fired. Second, and more importantly, I have yet to figure out how to rationally talk to someone who has never been fat about this. Because truly, they have no idea.

Sure, in theory if you eat the calories you have to burn them off. Then you don't get fat and then you don't inconvenience those sitting on the plane next to you. But, um...it's not quite that easy is it?  It sure as hell isn't. Portion size. Bacon wrapped everything. Fast food. Depression. Stress eating. Food addiction. Time. Money. Marketing.  If you aren't paying attention, the calories you can consume in a given day would need 8 hours of running to burn off. I don't know too many people that have 8 hours to workout every day.

If you've never been fat then you don't know how it feels. I gained 60 lbs without even realizing it. 
It's easy to say "just burn the calories you consume", but you weren't inside the Former Fat Girl's head. She was in denial. She didn't believe in herself. She didn't have faith that she could do it. And if she didn't feel like she could do it, why bother?  She should have been an actress because she could pretend 24/7 that she was healthy and fit.

A person doesn't get fat because they want to. It happens for a variety of reasons. I could jump on my soap box now and scream about how important it is to keep Phys Ed and health classes in school. I get extremely angry when I hear about these programs being cut. It's just making it harder for our future.

As far as the woman on the plane goes, I have a couple thoughts on this. I feel for those who have their space infringed upon, but I also feel for this woman. Seats are tiny. I remember hating to travel. I just felt like a blob for hours. What I don't understand is that with the growing numbers of obesity why there aren't special rows with larger seats?  And then I get mad that this is even an issue. What I wouldn't give to never hear these conversations again.

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Weekend recap: 5K, lean pockets, and Studying

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

First of all, thank you everyone for your kind words after yesterday's post. I put a lot of pressure on myself and I truly appreciate my support system who keeps me from the deep end. Love you all!

Alright so this weekend was an interesting one...sadly it started on Friday with no gym crushes at the gym...boo. 

Saturday morning we had a 5K. It was our second run with the Ronald McDonald House event. We had such a good time last year that we were eager to sign up again. Seriously, anything for a good cause.

I had a hard night sleeping Friday night. I was agitated and I still had my sinus headache. So when my alarm went off at the crack of dawn I seriously considered bailing. I just wanted sleep!  But, I forced myself up and into the shower.  As I was getting ready I was making sure I drank water. The plan was to get there early to use the facilities before the race started.

It was feeling a little chilly so I put on a brooks top and jacket with leggings. I even grabbed a sweatshirt in case it got colder later. But, I was hoping it would get warmer. We were driving separately due to committments following the race. So I as I was leaving I quickly decided to stop at the post office for a couple of stamps and then I stopped for gas. And the next thing I know I am parking with 10 minutes to spare. uh oh.

The lines for registration were long. I got my shirt and they started the mile run for the kids. Um...do I have time to run my shirt to my car? Do I have time to go to the bathroom. The answer is no. Solution? Put the shirt on....so now I have two shirts and a jacket on...um...and a bladder that needs to be emptied. ACK!

I found Heather and Xavier just before the start of the race thankfully.  This was Xavier's first race and we were trying to decide our plan of action. And then the little stinker took off and never looked back. Heather took off because she didn't want to let him out of her sight and I was on my own.  That was okay. I wanted to pace myself and just relax. My mind was all over the place and I was having a hard time focusing. Plus I still had a little headache.

I kept my running pace a little slower than usual, but I wanted to keep it consistent and avoid the cramping I have had lately. Plus, I didn't want to wake up the bladder. haha. After a mile I started to feel really hot...and why shouldn't I? I was wearing 80 million layers of clothes. haha. I slowed down a little on the boardwalk because it was wet and since my mind was all over the place I slid a little. So I waited until I was back on the pavement to go faster.   I also slowed it a little on the hill, but the rest of the time was pretty good.

I finished a little ahead of last week's time. So basically my consistent running pace is not that much faster than my running/walking pace....interesting.

That little stinker beat us both.  That's awesome for him, but a big reminder that I wasted so many years. He is 13 and I can tell you for certain, that at 13 I would never have been able to sign up and just run a race. I maybe would have tried to walk it, but I would have been out of breath and begging to stop.

We hit up the post race snacks and hung out in the baseball stadium for a little bit (and FINALLY used the ladies room) and then it was time to head out. I decided to head over to Target since there isn't one by the house. I needed to get a few things. I was a little hungry but it was still early. So in addition to the fabric softener and toilet paper I was picking up, I decided to see what they had in the frozen food section. ARGH.

I hate when I do this, but I ended up getting 2 boxes of lean pockets (one is a pretzel hot pocket....mmmmm). They are convenient, but so not good choices. Before I left I stopped at the Starbucks in the Target. I knew that i would be studying when I got home and wouldn't leave so let's just get our caffeine in now.

I ate a hot pocket for lunch when I got home. And while I was studying my sinus headache came back. It's very hard to study when you have a heating pad on your face. I would get instant relief when I took medicine, but it wouldn't last too long. So when it came to dinner I just heated up another lean pocket. So mad at myself. Don't worry, I paid for it. I burned the top of my mouth...and it's still a little tender two days later. BAH! 

Sunday my headache was getting better...ahhh...so I went back to studying after church.

My food choices over the weekend were not the best. I'm angry that I didn't have as many vegetables as I would have liked and I let too many external factors (hunger, headache, convenience) to make my decisions.  Going to do my best to make sure that doesn't happen again. This weekend I need to make something in the crockpot to prepare it for the week. So this doesn't happen again. I win!

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Why is it so hard to put my dreams first?

Hello Beautiful People,

Well to say it's been an emotional week would be an understatement. Staying focused on studying has been a challenge.  There's been a lot going on in life in general.

I am extremely frustrated. I wanted to have this certification last year. I feel like I have been studying forever. But, sometimes life gets in the way. I could not control things that came into my life unexpectedly. And things keep coming.  It sucks when the first thing I think of now when something happens is "Well that's going to slow down the studying and push back the exam. And my hopes to move back to North Carolina sometime this decade."  It's frustrating as hell.

I feel like every time someone asks me when my exam is the implication is "cause you've been 'studying' forever you big giant slacker!"  I sure hope they aren't thinking that, but that's how I feel. And all I want to do is scream "I'm working on it!  Life got in the way."

Something else came up this weekend that does not affect my day to day life directly, but does affect me indirectly. And obviously I want to step in and help as much as I can. That's my nature. I will always put someone else's needs before my own.  I have recently been called a "fixer". If there is a way that I can step in and fix the situation to makes things easier for someone I love then I will do it, regardless of how it affects me.  So when I have had to turn down invitations or requests because I want to study I have actually felt a little guilty. That's just another reason to want to eat.


I hate that I haven't had the time to blog as much as I would like. It's so important to me. It makes me think of church. I hate missing church. I really do. I always feel like the sermon being given is probably one that I really needed to hear to help me. That's how I feel about the blog. I feel like if I miss a days someone might really have needed some motivation or inspiration. Every day I send out a Bible verse of the day to a bunch of people in my life. I never actually asked if they wanted them and figured they would tell me to stop sending them if they didn't want them. Almost daily someone different will reply back "Thank you. I really needed this today." It only took 30 seconds and that one little email made a difference in someone's life.   I have been so busy lately that I haven't even sent them every day. *Side note, if you would like to be added to the mailing list please email me and I will add you...even if I don't know you :-)  jhendersonfit@gmail.com*

I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive of me this past week. I have heard some magic words. What I'm hearing is that people understand that things are coming up, but that I'm not letting that stop me. It may take me longer, but I'm not giving up. I'm still getting in my workouts. I'm still getting in my studying. I'm still getting in my family time. I'm still doing it all. It's just taking longer than I had hoped. And I'm not giving up. I particularly liked to hear "It's okay that you have a life." haha I'm not really sure about that, but I am having a busy time. 

I've also heard that it's okay for me to put myself first. That's a hard one. I am always telling people how important it is to put themselves first. You're no good to anyone else if you aren't healthy. So many people use the excuse that they are too busy to workout or eat right. They are doing things for kids or work. It's so important to put your health needs first. Maybe my health needs at the moment are my mental health needs.

Today's Lesson: Life throws you curve balls. Don't strikeout.

So here it goes, until I get this certification I am going to put myself first. I can put myself first when it comes to exercise and healthy eating...so let's see how this transfers to everything else. I am putting everything else in God's hands. Now if you'll excuse me, I have another chapter to start.

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Flashback Friday: Even Senior Citizens passed me in the park today

Happy Flashback Friday!

This early post always makes me laugh

Even Senior Citizens passed me in the park today

I kid you not. The park where I go walking after work is a Memorial Park. It is awesome. There is a playground for the kids and a huge field. But, the best part is that there are trees all around it in memory of someone. It is kept nice because of the Rotary club.

I love walking. You know this by now. But, even I have struggles with it. I know it's a good thing. I know I like it. I know I can make time for it. I know that I will be fine once I'm halfway through. But, that dang skinny devil is sitting on my shoulder telling me not to. My knees are sore. I've walked already today. I have too much to do tonight. But, I had already posted earlier in the day that I was going to walk tonight. So I knew I had to (it's a good system). Even as I was pulling up to the park I was trying to talk myself out of it. I had already walked three miles today. I could just come home and no one would know.

I did not though. I pulled in and put on my sneakers. OH and bonus, I had gotten new socks this weekend and this was the first time I was wearing them. They were like walking on a cloud. So in addition to good sneakers, make sure you get a good pair of socks too. I have a tendency to walk hard and have been known to put holes in the toes (even though my toe nails are cut). These socks just might do the trick.

Anyway, I got out there on the track and walked. Now here's the embarrassing part. I have been wearing skirts this week and my lap times have not been as great as they should be. Why? Because of chub-rub. BAH. I hate it. You know what I'm talking about. Stupid fat thighs rubbing together. The chub is way smaller than it has been, but there's still a little there. I walk so much faster with pants and shorts, but I walk when I can no matter what I'm wearing. Ok, back to the chub-rub. It makes it hard to take long strides, so even if I am keeping up the pace I am not going as fast as everyone else. I tried walking with wide strides, but then I just looked like I was waddling. Not pretty.

I was in the zone thinking about my next blog post when not one, but two senior citizens go blowing past me. I watched. We had the same pace. They just had longer legs. BAH. A couple of laps later another passed me. I wanted to cry. It's so easy to get discouraged at that point, but I can't do that. Then that stupid skinny devil wins. I just have to picture the day when I can smoke these boys. HaHa.

Now I was only planning on doing three miles. But, just as I was about to start my final lap something happened. A gentleman with the most beautiful body showed up. I'm pretty sure my jaw is still on the ground. He walked on to the field with his sister(?), you know that's what I'm hoping, to play some football. So naturally I stayed out there for another mile. The lesson here is: use whatever motivation you need to.

I'm a pretty girl. I know this now. However, when I workout I look like a raggamuffin. I won't kid myself. I am not a pretty sweaty girl. My face gets red. I sweat all over. My hair never stays up. I itch all over. I don't even know what happens to my clothes, but they seem to balloon up. I'm sure I can pull off remotely attractive from a far, but I am not one of those perfect gym girls. Personally, I think if you aren't messy and sweaty you aren't doing it right, but that's just me.

I'm happy to report that I did get a couple of smiles and looks from him, SWEET, but I'm not delusional. I smell. I know it. I walked and sweated earlier in the day and I just did it again. So even if he can get past the mess, he ain't getting past the stink. I walk away without saying anything to him :-(

So, if you live in the Broomall area and know a beautiful man who went to the Rotary park to play football, please tell him that I heart him! We would make such beautiful babies. haha. Hopefully we will meet again. But, if we don't I will always remember him fondly. Hopefully he will remember me smelling like roses. Perhaps I will start wearing a car freshener around my wrist just in case.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Growth Spurt at my age?

Hello My Lovelies,

Well it's Thursday and a lot happened today. It was biometrics screening day!

So the day started trying to decide what to wear. They would weigh me so obviously I have to wear my lightest clothes. They would also be  measuring my waist so no chance of wearing jeans that might possibly push up my belly.

My screening was scheduled for 9:45am. I opted for the non-fasting screening. I am on a schedule. I cannot wait until 10am to eat breakfast.

We started with the pin prick on my finger. She asked if I had anything to drink this morning. hahaha...good one lady. When I said yes she didn't believe me. I couldn't figure out why until I realized that when she squeezed my finger not a lot of blood was coming out. After a few seconds it was completely fine.  After she filled up the tube she took my blood pressure. Next we moved over to the scale and the height chart. Then there was a quick measuring of the waist. She filled in the information she knew and we went over where my numbers fell while we waited for the blood results to come back.

I wasn't too surprised by any of my numbers...well except for one. My weight was down and apparently I grew another inch. WHAT?  You may remember that last year I was floored when they said I was 5'1". I had been 5' forever. Obviously they were wrong...or were they? How the heck could I be another inch taller???  It's probably a mistake, but I have a messed up back and I have really been working on my posture and stretching. I don't care I am taking it! 5'2" it is!!!!

My sugar level was well below normal for non-fasting. I felt good with that. Since I cut down on my sugar and then find myself binge eating it I've been a little worried about it. My Cholesterol is still weirdly low. I was really hoping for a better Blood Pressure, but I'm not surprised. I have pre-hypertension, but I know this. High blood pressure is hereditary. It runs in my family. I am exercising and watching what I am eating. My two wild card factors are stress (um....well we know I'm stressed) and sodium (I fear for the unknown...I watch what I eat, but when I go out to eat I am at the mercy of the restaurant...and the odds are that there is a lot of sodium. Bah. That's a little frustrating. I fear what my blood pressure was before I made my changes.  The good news is that my pulse is good!

I knew I was going to fit in the "overweight" category. But, I am not in the "obese" category so that's a small victory. My waist is almost where it should be. Oddly enough, this section did not stress me out like it would have in the past...and did. They did not test my body fat% and weirdly I'm a little sad about that. I would fall in a different age group in one month so I wouldn't feel so bad if it were a little higher...since well that's expected. I'm TOTALLY KIDDING! 

In addition to the biometrics screening we also had a Cigna mobile lab on site. I am such a NERD!  Ms. Tracey and I went running out there giddy like school girls. The first section was to determine your stress level. Mine is mild. hahahahahaha...they may be wrong about that.

The second section involved wearing a 20lb weight vest. Then you would hold a squat for 10 seconds. Stand on one leg for 10 seconds. And then stand on your tip toes for 10 seconds. And then to them without the weight vest. It was definitely harder...and to think that I have lost over double that...scary. 

Next there was a nutrition section. There were four shelves with 2 plates of food. You were to guess which was the healthiest option.  I am ready for my Biggest Loser quiz because I got them all right!  WOO WOO.  And yes, I chose the hamburger with lettuce, tomatoes, and onions on a whole grain roll over the salad. Watch the Dressing and extras!

Then there was a section offering tips on time saving techniques, safety concerns, and budget.  All good stuff: Prepare food on weekends and freeze, bringing lunch to work costs less than going out, be active as a family, etc.

Back inside the office there were some tables set up in the lunch area. One was for a local gym that offers a work discount. One was for the office Health & Fitness challenge. YEAH!  Day one of sign ups and we had over 30 people sign up...and that was without making an announcement to come sign up. There was a section for office yoga. We did sit with her and learn 6 yoga poses that you can do at your desk.  And then there was an Ergonomical  desk area. That was cool.

So it was a good day. I even got some studying in. I wanted to study tonight, but I have another headache...fairly certain this is sinus related as it feels like there is an elephant sitting my my eye sockets...argh..and so I will just relax tonight and focus on destressing.

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Random Wednesday: Has it been a week already?

Woo Woo for Random Wednesday!

I was thinking last night how weird it is that I can talk so openly about tampon mishaps with you all and yet I get terrified when I have to share that I ate a candy bar in my car.  Argh!

*****

A couple of weeks ago I was changing my cover photo on my Facebook page. It was during March Madness and I wanted to put up a photo from a Syracuse basketball game. I had several to choose from. The funny thing is that I was wearing the same at different games. The only way I could tell the difference was my face.

I know people keep telling me that my face  keeps getting thinner...but I never really see it until I look at pictures. The first one was two years ago. and the second one was last year. And the third one is this year.








*****

So one of my biggest fears happened last night. I heart my ipod nano. I HEART it. I love that it clips on to my pants, but I fear that it will fall off every time I go to the ladies room. It falls a lot, but so far it has managed to avoid falling in the toilet. Last night it fell on the ground and cracked the face. It still works, but it's mighty cracked. They don't make this version any more. I can still use it, but I will be on the look out for a used one that's not cracked :-(

*****

Tonight was study night at Starbucks. It was also a long day at work. I did not drink the water that I usually do. I have had more caffeine today than in the last month.  And now I have a headache. I don't know if it's a study headache, caffeine headache, or a dehydration headache, but I'm annoyed at myself. I know better than to get off schedule.

*****

Tomorrow is my biometrics screening at work. I can't believe that I'm excited about this. For years I was terrified of this. But, last year my numbers were pretty good. I'm eager to find out if they've gotten even better. I'm such a nerd now.

*****

I met my friend Danielle for lunch today. We met up at Panera. I was immediately drawn to a panini sandwich that they were highlighting. I had seen it on their website last year. They had a contest to create a new sandwich using the ingredients they keep on hand. The one that won had turkey, cheddar, and apples. There was more too, but that's all I remember.

I wasn't crazy about the calories, but I was making it a Pick 2 and I paired it with vegetable soup.  That was YUMMY!

*****

Alright kids, I'm going to try and study a little be more before Psych comes on. Oh but, before I go, I will share my favorite quote of the day:

"At least its basically Thursday which means its basically Friday which means its the weekend!"

*****


Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Thin Mint 5K

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,



Sunday was the Thin Mint 5K. Now first let me say that in general I do not like to sign up for races on Sundays. For this particular one I had signed up before I found it out was on Sunday.  I have two more Sunday races coming up. argh. If they were not for good cause I would cancel, but I am committed. I will need to figure out a church alternative.

So Sunday morning Heather and I got up early. We did not plan our outfits and yet we matched each other...awww. Black and neon yellow. We left early, I'm not sure why...and got there long before the race started. But, it's a good thing we did. It was MOBBED. Everyone was there to support the Girl Scouts. It was so heartwarming.

The first thing we saw was the table of Girl Scout cookies...umm...SCORE!  They had tables all over for camps for the summer. There was also a table with Girl Scout goodies. But, first we went to check in. We took our swag bag to the car so that we didn't have to carry them around. We pulled out our shirts to check them out and then at the same time we pulled out the full boxes of Thin Mints and started jumping around and screaming like we had won the lottery...well in a way we had!  haha. Seriously, JUMPING AROUND AND SCREAMING!  We were hoping for a few cookies, never dreamed of a full box.  Oh and the t-shirts are cute too.



Before the race started we took a detour to use the ladies room. Good thing we did too because when we came out the line was three times as long. We had a few minutes to spare so we checked out the Girl Scout table. I have been wearing big headbands to workout in with my short hair cut and I was intrigued by a big white one that I saw. It was cute. It was $10. I happened to have $10 in cash on me...but there was also that table full of Girl Scout cookies...I decided to wait until after the race to see which I wanted.

The race started and we took off. After running a mile I had a problem. I had a slight cramp in my side. I am so used to running at night that I have a hard time with morning runs. In general I haven't had water in about 12 hours. I don't like to put myself in the position of needing to use the ladies room. So we cut it down to a brisk walk for a little bit. It also coincided with the concrete and I do not run on concrete. It's so bad for your knees and my knees are bad enough...argh.

Eventually we started running again and then I started to feel something.

***** Guys, feel free to turn away. Go see what's on ESPN right now. You don't need to read the following. Scroll down until you see the asterisks again.*****

Okay so ladies, you know I had my period. And you know it was two weeks late. It's not going to be good....I don't know what happened. But, at some point the tampon dislodged. It was no longer where it was supposed to be. Don't worry, it didn't fall out, but I almost wish it had. If you have never had one try to escape your body voluntarily consider yourself lucky. It basically feels like knives are down there. We still had half a race to go. It was not going to be fun. And it most definitely slowed me down.

I know my mom is freaking out right now "Too much!  You are sharing TOO MUCH!" but I do this for a reason. Weird things happen in life. My lesson here is that if I use the ladies room before another race I will make sure to change the tampon also. ARGH

It was a rough race, but we made it through. As we approached the finish line we were running and Heather asked if I wanted to sprint. hahahah...I know that physically I was able to do that, but oh lord I did not see it happening.  It hurt running. I felt like I would pass out if I ran faster.

So imagine that as we cross the finish line I grab my water and keep running to the ladies room.  When I came out I felt soooooo much better. I felt like I could run it all over again. hahaha.

*****Okay guys, feel free to come back now *****

The race was over and we were wandering around. The good news is that the Girl Scout table took credit cards so  I didn't have to choose between cookies and the headband. I got the headband and a pretty cool water bottle. The water bottle is almost like a bag. It's flat when it's empty but rounds out when filled with water. It had a clip and stands up on it's own when full. I'm all about checking out good water bottles. Oh yeah, I almost forgot...I also got chapstick that tastes like a Samoa!  It really does. I'm hoping that the taste of it will help with sweet cravings when I'm not really hungry. So far so good. I taste yummy!

Then I stopped over and got a box of tagalongs. I couldn't help it. I know that we got a free box of Thin Mints, but I will do ANYTHING for a tagalong. I also bought a box to donate.

On our way home we were both hungry. We had planned on stopping at Starbucks so that I could get a big ass venti anything to keep me awake for my study day. We were talking about the best way to get home and I joked that if we missed the exit we could to this other way and stop for Moe's Southwest Grill...Welcome to Moe's!  She was an easy sell...until she started to worry about leaving the dog at home.  That's fine. We don't have to go there, but now my brain was on what could I eat.

We decided to stop at the pizza place that is by Starbucks. I couldn't stop thinking of that chicken tender that I had during the basketball game last week. Yes, you heard me correctly . I had been fantasizing about a stinking chicken tender for a week.   So I ordered the chicken tenders and fries.

I decided to split it and have half for lunch and half for dinner. After I ate I sat and studied...and watched Golden Girls.  All I could think of was "how soon until I can eat dinner???". I have no self control.   When I finally did I felt sick. I only had 3 tenders for lunch and 2 for dinner. I felt so sick. Bah!  My body can not handle the fat and grease. That's a good thing...but the Former Fat Girl is PISSED!

Before I go I want to once again give praise to this race. There were so many people. Not everyone was there to run. There were so many people who signed up to walk and show their support. That's what I'm talking about people! You don't have to have the best time. But, you'll have a great time. So grab some friends and get out there for a walk. Have some fun.

We beat last week's time by a minute. Imagine how much better it would have been if I could have run at full speed!  I'm not going to lie. I got a little pleasure at passing some of those kids. Oh don't judge, they can hold their own. There is nothing so humbling as seeing some young kid blow past you.  It happens to me all of the time. haha. I would also like to give a shout out to the 70+ runners...that's 70 years. So inspiring.

Okay kids, we have a special potential client coming to the office in the morning. They would like us to get there early...so basically I get to sleep for about an hour and then get up. Okay, not that soon, but it feels like it.

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)


http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Stress Eating: Reacting to the Tragedy at the Boston Marathon

Hello Beautiful People,

It's a hard night to write a post.  I had originally planned on writing about yesterday's events, but that will wait until later this week.

It's hard not to write about the tragedy at the Boston Marathon.  My heart is breaking for everyone there.  My thoughts and prayers are with everyone.

It's been a particularly hard afternoon and evening to focus. My first thought at work was that I just wanted to get home as soon as possible, but I stuck with my original plan to go to the gym. I had checked in on Twitter and saw that all of the people that I have come to know that were running today were all okay. I have one new tweep that was still unaccounted for, but I am happy to report she is safe. This was a rough rough day.

So I decided to go to the gym, but I knew it was going to be a hard workout. It's very difficult to stay on the treadmill when it's facing 18 televisions all turned to news coverage. Where do you look? It's hard to keep focus and yet it's hard to look away.  I brought my book in hopes that I might be able to escape for a little bit, but no luck.

I stayed on for a little over 30 minutes, but my brain was not connecting with my body. It was time to go home.

I had the news on in the car and my emotions had been on high for over 3 hours by this point. I had to think about dinner. I needed to stop and pick something up. I did not have the focus to cook dinner and and pack my lunch for tomorrow.

I  could not decide between Subway or Wawa. But, I passed Wawa first so they won. I ordered two shorti turkey hoagies on a whole wheat roll. I got reduced fat chips and a diet soda to help me burp...and while I was waiting for my hoagies I headed over to that aisle...I grabbed a dark chocolate milky way.

I hated myself for doing it, but it was a completely automatic response.  I should be happy that I only chose one and that it was dark chocolate. I should be happy that my hoagies were turkey on wheat with spinach and tomatoes. It means that I am at least making better stress eating choices. The Former Fat Girl would have stopped at a drive-thru or two on her way home.

At yesterday's 5k we were given a box of Thin Mints. I had also purchased one last box of Tag-alongs. The boxes remained unopened as of last night. It's going to be a miracle if they remain unopened tonight.

I'm going to sign off for the night and try to relax. Hug your loved ones and tell them you love them.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Negotiating with Myself


Hello Beautiful People,

Ahhh...so things are a little better today. I am a tad more relaxed and I got another 100 on a quiz so I'm feeling good. 

So yesterday was Friday. I had lunch plans to go out with Ms. Tracey and Ms. Tina.  Ms. Tina is from China and wanted us to go to an authentic Chinese lunch.  I had been craving Chinese lately and I really wanted to get out of the office so I was happy to oblige.

Originally my first thought was "if we are going for chinese, there is NO WAY I am going to want to workout after work." My belly is going to feel full and I'm going to feel sick if I try to do anything. Maybe I will just make it a study night. But, I decided to pack my gym bag and bring it anyway. In the event that I feel okay I want to have that as an option.

I pulled up the menu just to see what "authentic" meant. The first 3/4s of the menu was in Chinese and I was not crazy about some words I saw. Jellyfish...um...Not super excited. Finally I saw the "Americanized" menu in the back.  I found my sesame chicken and was happy.

Since it was a nicer restaurant than your traditional takeout my spring roll was small and didn't feel as deep fried as the usual ones. My portion of chicken was smaller and the sauce was less heavy. I honestly felt fine when we left. I was full, but not stuffed.

The gym should not be a problem.  However, my womanly goings on had my hormones raging. I was cranky and crampy. I truly just wanted to just go home and climb into bed for the night.  But, I bargained with myself. If I got on the road and the traffic was heavy then I would go to the gym. Otherwise I would head straight home and study.

Then I just kept thinking how nice a water massage would feel. So I renegotiated with myself.  If I got to the gym and Gym Crush Babe was there I would stay on for 30 minutes and then get my massage. If he wasn't there then I would just do 15 minutes and then get a massage.  My legs were tight from "Legs night" on Thursday so anything would be a nice stretch.

I didn't see Gym Crush Babe, but I did see Gym Crush Young Stud.  He reminds me a little of Gym Crush 1 at the old gym except he's not a runner. He's just delicious to watch lift though.  And so I stayed on for 30 minutes then got my massage.

I didn't really get a lot of studying in last night. I got some, but my mind was just jelly from the emotional toll of the week. So I planned on waking up early. I actually was falling asleep just trying to read my fun book last night so I figured I could read a little in the morning to get my day started.

I woke up and read some before I forced myself out of bed for a shower. I needed to get my day moving. I really wanted to make it a full study day before the Nascar race tonight (Let's Go Tony Stewart! CALL ME!). Once I got ready I sat down to study. I negotiated with myself on this too. Every time I finished a little section I could read up until the next page break in the fun book. That helped a lot. So I finished my fun book and just about finished my chapter notes.

Now the problem is that the fun book had a lot of food gatherings in it. I craved a brownie something AWFUL.  And so I grabbed my books and headed to Starbucks. I got my drink and brownie and then sat and finished my chapter activity.  And then I was allowed to read the whole first chapter of the new fun book.

When that was over I was off to the Grocery store. I had originally planned on going to Super Walmart today to get my shopping done, but I talked myself out of that. I would need to get my short list of groceries at the store by Starbucks. And I'm happy I did. I have come up with a new Grocery plan that I will tell you about in a future post. And the bonus is that I got to enjoy the Cherry Blossoms in the parking lot. That made me smile.



Okay, thanks for being my study break. But, it's time to get back to it. I am almost ready for my next quiz.  Wish me luck!


Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)


http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Flashback Friday: The Addiction

Happy Flashback Friday.  Here is an early favorite of mine.

The Addiction

Let's start with the honesty. I'm not an alcoholic nor am I a gambler. I completely sympathize with anyone who is suffering with those addictions. But, I think a food addiction is harder to deal with in many ways. Gamblers probably don't wake up betting. Alcoholics probably do wake up drunk, but not all of the time. But, if you have a food addiction, most likely you are waking up fat and hungry. It's staring you in the face day after day.

Even if you manage to get a handle on your addiction you can't escape the temptations. If you are an alcoholic you can avoid bars and liquor stores. Gamblers can avoid casinos and race tracks. But, it's awfully hard for a food addict to avoid the grocery store. In fact, it's impossible. And then you have to face your demons head on at least three times a day for meals. Going out to eat sucks. Going to someone's house for dinner sucks. You don't really have control over your options at that point. And do not even get me started on "donut" days at work. I want to strangle someone on those days.

It took a lot for me to condition myself to grocery shopping and not caving. I had heard repeatedly to "walk the outside" of the grocery store. All the junk is in the middle. But guess what! Even if you do that, you still have to check out. And what's at the check out? CHOCOLATE! So my cart will be full of vegetables, yogurt, chicken, wheat bread, and then it all comes tumbling down by a dang Kit Kat. And I think we all know that it doesn't even make it home. Shoot, it's gone before I even leave the parking lot. FOILED AGAIN.

Let's talk about the unexpected battles. As I write this hurricane Irene is swirling over me. You know that means that I had to go to the store yesterday to make sure I had enough food for the storm. I stocked up on salad essentials and I am good to go with turkey sandwiches on whole wheat. But, that fat girl in side kept saying "What about the snacks? You're going to be inside for days, you need snacks." She wanted chips and salsa and about a pound of chocolate. And she almost won. What she got though was carrots and guacamole and one bag of M&M's (I'm not a saint afterall). They were eaten last night if you must know. So far I have been able to fend off the cravings, but tomorrow when I can't leave the apartment all day will be a different story. I can see myself contemplating the dangers of walking to the store, which will probably be closed anyway, just for a dang Snickers.

So I have come up with a few tips to help me through the tough times:

1-Going out to eat
*Look at the menu ahead of time. If you decide what you want before you go and don't need to look at the menu you have less chance of changing your mind. Please note- this is no guarantee :-( but it helps

2-Eating at a Friend's house
*Offer to bring the salad. You at least have control over that

3- "Donut" days at work
*Just go ahead and quit your job. Just kidding. Although I feel like that every time. Think of the calories. They are empty calories. Is it worth an hour on the treadmill? I think not. But, if you have a sweet tooth go ahead and keep the 100-calorie packs of the chocolate cover pretzels in your desk.

4-Grocery shopping
*Most grocery stores off at least one check out lane that is candy free. Become familiar with it and make it a point to use that lane every time.

5-Emergency provisions
*Don't Do it! If you stock up on the junk food that is what you will eat. If you are stuck at home with healthy options only you won't regret it after. But if you stock up on junk food you will hate yourself after you eat it all.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Stress: gotta make changes before I snap

Alright kids,  I am stressed.

I thought I was stressed before, but I seriously had no idea.  I have a lot in my head and a lot going on. It's taken it's toll. And I 'm not even kidding. I can finally breathe today.  I was late this month. REALLY late. I'm not seeing anyone, so it's not that. But, you could set a watch by my cycle. So this really freaked me out.

At first I thought it was my body reacting to the extra training. And then I thought it was my body reacting to getting older...argh. That's been getting to me. I do NOT want this birthday to happen. I know it's just a number and this is crazy, but I also know that many of you out there know what I'm feeling. I need a hug :-(  Seriously, I'm fairly certain I will be throwing an adult tantrum on my birthday....and possibly every day leading up to it.

I have always said that if God blessed me with a baby that would be wonderful, but I have never been one to give in to 'baby cravings'. I adore kids, but I have never felt the desire to need one of my own. But, the thought that maybe the option of having my own child could never happen made me sad. Sad and tense. I didn't really need to work my abs this week, because my insides were a knot for about two weeks.

Surprise, studying is stressing me out too. It's a lot to absorb, but I've told you that I am not a good test taker. I panic. I have anxiety. This is driving me insane. I know that I have said that I can drop a workout day, but I am mentally not prepared for it. And then when I am working out I am thinking about studying.  When I study I think about how I need to workout to look good for future clients. It's a vicious cycle.

Add to that worries about some friends and family and pressure on myself for not being where I want to be. I am a mess. I am starting to feel like my hopes of one day moving back to North Carolina slipping away. I have always said that if the opportunity were to arise I would move back tomorrow. And that's still true. The problem is that I am finally getting to spend more time with my family and that makes it a little harder to want to leave them. That's a sucky sucky stress. How hard would it be to move them all down with me?

 I am doing what I can for stress relievers, but short of adding an additional 6 hours to the day I am close to burning out.  I make sure to read at least one chapter of my fun book a day. I stop what I am doing every hour and focus on breathing. I stretch as often as possible.

One of the additional stresses is that I am fighting the urge to stop for pizza or a hamburger every single night. I have no idea where this is coming from. It could be the long commute home. It could be a trigger from stress. All I know is that when I pull up home and I can smell meat on a grill, I want to drop my bags and go find whoever it is responsible for that heavenly scent and become their new best friend.

And so something's gotta give...before I lose my mind. I'm already trying to drop an extra workout day (and considering the beating my knees are taking, it's not really going to be a voluntary decision much longer).  I have mentioned before that I may need to drop a day on the blog...but I'm thinking it may be down to 5 days of the week. It's so hard for me to do that, but I think for the good of all it must be done. Haha. I mean when Tony Stewart finally calls, I don't want to scare him off. Psst...Tony Stewart CALL ME!

Speaking of my knees, I also did finally sign up with Run for Autism for the Rock'N'Roll Philly Half Marathon in September. 

So what I think I may do is completely skip one day. And the other day I may repost some of my favorite posts from the past.   I may assign that to Fridays...I'll call it: Flashback Friday!

Okay, it's time to go and study a little more before I go to bed. Plus, it was legs night at the gym and I'm beat.

Have a Blessed Night.



I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)


http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Random Wednesday: Bagels, Sunshine, Vultures, and Tea

Spring is here!  Spring is here! Spring is here!  Happy Spring Bleeps!

I hope you are getting out there and enjoying it.  We had snow a couple weeks ago and today we hit a high of 87 degrees...ahhhh...

Tonight is a study night and yesterday I found out that Bible study was postponed a couple of weeks. And so I was able to get in a nice walk at lunch today with Ms. Tracey. It was glorious.  We planned this yesterday so we came prepared. No Sleeves!  Oh it was heavenly to get out there and have the sun beating down on us...ahhh

Of course I was back at my desk 30 minutes before I had a monster sneeze attack for about 30 minutes. My nose was all stuffed up...and then miraculously it went away. Crisis averted.

*****

So this weekend I finally got a measuring tape. I'm staying off of the scale for a little while and just measuring my waist and hips every week instead.

*****

Today I was happy to wear my black empire waist dress that I pair with my jean jacket and boots. I have always loved this combo, but for some reason it didn't work for me today. Separately the pieces work, but together they are too big. HOLLA!

*****

Do you know what today was?  It was Bagel day! OH I heart bagel day. I do believe that I have mentioned that before, but seriously, I do. I had a light dinner last night. And of course that also meant that I had to go light today too. No problem...the bagel was worth it.

*****

I have been craving mexican food something fierce.

*****

The Health and Fitness challenge at work will be starting up soon. That's right, it's renamed. I am now one of the organizers and I suggested removing the word "competition". We want to make sure that people who want to participate but are turned off by competition still want to get involved. I am very excited about what's to come, but I don't want to spoil anything for anyone who might be reading this so I'll keep it mum at the moment...but lots of good stuff is coming!

*****

Tonight I stopped at TJ Maxx for a little bit on the way home. I found a water bottle with a hand grip and case for my cell phone. I am pretty happy. One of my biggest problems during races is my dry throat. So hopefully this will help out.

When I was leaving the parking lot I saw the strangest thing. The area where I live is heavy with big giant birds. Well there are two black vultures that have apparently found a home in the shopping center. There is an empty store and these birds have made the sidewalk outside their home. There are signs on the window asking people to not feed them or throw things at them. The property manager has put fabric over the windows to keep them from seeing their reflection. That is what they are drawn to.

I googled this when I got home and found a facebook page devoted to them.  They have been named Harold & Maude. This is so cute I had to share:

https://www.facebook.com/KSQVultureTaskForce

*****

On Monday Ms. Lety and I went to the mall. She had a gift card for Teavana. Have you ever been? I had been before, but I wasn't interested. I'm a little more intrigued this time. It's got my interest now. I drink a lot of tea and this would be a nice alternative to Starbucks. I'm not sure that I'm ready to invest in one of their fancy tumblers yet to make the tea in and drink out of...but I do have a birthday coming up...hahahah

*****

And speaking of...I got a lovely text yesterday reminding me that this is my last month in my Thirties...thank you....you know who you are and you better sleep with one eye open! 

I am not going gracefully in case you haven't figured that out..ARGH!

*****

I haven't gotten to watch a Nascar race in a few weeks. But I am determined to watch this weekend. I miss Tony Stewart...Call me!

*****

Time to study...

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Fundraising for Breast Cancer:

https://dbcc.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalk2013/2013DEfeetBreastCancerRunWalkSignupFundrai/tabid/434138/Default.aspx?joinme=24622

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Defending Gina

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Before I get started let me start by saying, yes I went for pizza during the game. Actually I went to watch the game with my family and indulged in the pizza. I just had one slice though and one chicken tender. So I'm not feeling that bad about it. And I passed on the ranch dip.

So there is something that I wanted to write about during The Biggest Loser and I just didn't get a chance. It was a little hard for me to watch this year. Well not so much watch, as it was talk about and follow. I really identified with someone on the show. And that someone wasn't a fan favorite. Some people just did not like her.  It's very hard to handle when people aren't supportive of that her when I saw so much of myself in her.

You may have guessed by now that I am referring to Gina. I made no bones about it, I was supportive of her right from the beginning. And I know the criticism started early. Her interactions with Bob weren't that popular. And then she had a bad week with a bad attitude in the gym. She walked out of the gym a couple of times.

Now I am in no way trying to suggest that I know exactly what Gina was going through and what prompted her reactions and behavior...I just know that I react the same way.  Life would be grand if everyone had Jackson's attitude in the gym. Heck I would love his attitude and one day I hope to acheive it. But, not everyone is like that. In fact almost every contestant this season was resistant or reacted negatively to one of the trainers at one point. Sometimes several times.

No one wants to be reminded of how bad they have let things get. No one wants someone yelling at them in the gym. Well some might like that motivation, but the odds are that that person is not fat or ever has been. No one wants to see how little they can do because they have not cared for their body. No one wants to admit that they have failed themselves.

When Gina worked out it wasn't all sunshine and daisies coming out of her mouth...and it's the same with me. When I am pushed I have no control of what comes out of my mouth...often I sound like a dirty sailor. If I had a nickel for every time I yelled "I HATE YOU"...and that's one of the clean versions.  I will give it 110%, but my body and brain are objecting the whole time.   I don't know why, except that it's probably a defense mechanism.  So as much as I heart Bob Harper, I am pretty sure that if I were to workout with him I would unleash a web of obscenities that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush.

Week after week Gina was the Biggest Loser. Bob told her that she was the biggest threat. She didn't believe him for awhile. Then she started to believe him and believe in herself.  But, on challenges that involved speed or strength she would come in last. I feel her pain. No matter how hard I work or how far I come, someone or everyone will outperform me in a class or a race and it's hard not to feel down on myself.  But, I am not a natural athlete. I am so not coordinated. I don't have speed.  I will feel proud of myself for how far I've come, but there's always a little part of me that gets defensive and pissed that I'm not as good as everyone else.  I eventually get over it, but it really sucks at the time.

It's very easy for me to be supportive and motivating for others.  I can even be a good motivator for myself...I just need to work on letting others push me without me...kind of interesting considering the field I will be going into soon. And on that note I am off to study.


Have a Blessed Night.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

jhendersonfit@gmail.com