Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Negativity is Infectious

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Social media. Love it or hate it?

There are so many pluses to it. I've reconnected with old friends. I get to keep up with friends and family who are miles away. I get to find out sports updates instantaneously (Hello my name is Jennie and I am addicted to Twitter). But for the life of me I don't understand why people choose to be so negative towards other people on it. And that's one of the minuses. Oh I know everyone is entitled to their opinions, but making negative and nasty comments to someone or about someone reads like bullying to me. Are arguments ever really resolved this way?

When I read an article online I cannot stand to scroll down and see every opinion out there attacking someone and just plain being ignorant in the comments section below. I have been fairly lucky in this respect. As much as I put myself out there, the negative comments have been minimal. It doesn't mean they don't hurt my feelings though when they appear.  It makes it hard to share my honest opinions when I fear that at every turn someone is going to come back and say something negative to me.  Especially knowing that it is an immediate trigger to find my way to the bottom of a bag of chips or polish off a bag of oreos.

My rule, even on my personal pages, is to not address negative comments. I don't want them to continue to grow or give fuel to the fire. I try to limit my posts to positive only. In general I don't like to complain (except when I get a bad hair cut). Smack talking about my sports teams rivals is different, but I will post on my page.  I will never go on someone else's and trash talk their team. I just don't think that's nice.  I also don't address politics and very minimally address religion even though both are very important to me. The irony is that people have accused me of siding on one side of a social issue based on one comment, which had nothing to do with it. I actually fall on the other side.  But, I'm not going to get out there an argue it. I am very passionate about many things and will address them privately. I don't address them publicly to ignite negativity. And I understand that not everyone feels that way. You can post whatever you want on your own page or write any article you want and that's the great thing about social media. And I get it, you have to take the bad with the good. I just wish that sometimes people would think about how hurtful their words are before they say them.

In general, I try to cut the negativity out of my life.  Have you noticed how infectious it is? If you are constantly surrounded by it then it works it's way into your soul. I actually went through a period where I started spending less and less time with people who were negative all of the time. If they weren't complaining about something they only had bad things to say about other people. I don't need that. One person, whom I love dearly, was going through a bad time and was turning that way. I had to tell him that if he couldn't be more positive then we would not be spending any more time together. I hated saying that to him, but it made a difference. Things got much better.

In addition to being addicted to Twitter, I am also addicted to Instagram. I follow a bunch of Biggest Losers and love seeing their new selves after the show. I like to look at the pictures and don't generally read the comments. One day something caught my eye though. There was a picture of several BL alumni from the finale and someone made the comment that one of the contestants looks like they've gained weight. Why would you say that? I would like to think that that person was following BL people because they truly love the show and the inspiration it provides.  Maybe that person did gain some back, but seriously why does someone need to say that?  What I was struck by more was the response. She fought back. She came back and basically put ther person in their place. It made me smile. Good for her. She's very public on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Sadly it's clear from her comment that this isn't the first time that someone has made that comment. Who does that??? Do people honestly think that their words don't hurt?

Negativity is what fueled the Former Fat Girl. I would never ever wish that on someone else.  You just don't know how someone will react to negative words. What if they hurt themselves? What if they hurt someone else. I couldn't live with myself knowing that my words had that affect on someone.  It may sound trivial, but last night's hair cut was traumatic for me. The cut was shorter than I wanted and it was an unpleasant experience I will just put it that way. She was just a little rude and made many negative comments about my hair. I ate most of my Easter basket when I got home. That's just how I respond....I also will never be going back there.

I've mentioned that I'm not a fan of Kim Kardashian before, and that hasn't changed, but someone showed me a picture she posted and the hate comments below it were sickening.  I don't like her, but I would never attack her or anyone like that. Let her live her life. If you don't like it, then stop following her or watching her.

Maybe I am too sensitive.  I just don't have the thick skin for that. Any negativity drives me to food. And that's what makes it so hard to talk to some people. I want to help them live a healthy lifestyle, but how do I approach them without hurting their feelings?  Some people are very insensitive about that. People who haven't been there have no idea. You can't just make someone change. They have to want it and be ready. You can't force them. It will never take.  And if you are too negative about their lifestyle it may just have the opposite affect that you want and drive them further away.  The last thing I want to do is try to talk to someone about changing to a healthier lifestyle only to hurt their feelings and have them eat to console themselves.

And so we shall end this post on a positive note. I found out the best news ever today.  The sequel to Finding Nemo is in the works!  HOLLA!  Finding Dory is coming soon...well not super soon, but soon. Just keep swimming..just keep swimming...Just keep swimming...

Have a Blessed Night.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


1 comment:

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