Monday, December 31, 2012

2013 New Year's Resolutions

Hello my Friends!

Oh I have missed you!  I really truly did not mean to stay away this long.  I knew that I had a lot of travel days and I didn't think that I would be able to post every day, but I was hoping to post a little over Christmas.  Oh well, I spent my time snuggling with the baby so it was worth it :0)

So needless to say, I have a billion things that I want to talk to you about, but it's New Year's Eve and I think I want to talk about Resolutions.  Have you made yours?  More importantly, do you usually keep yours?  Let's review mine from last year:

1-I am going to find my way into that elusive Size 6. - Yep, I got em and I wear em :-)

2-I was going to say full marathon, but I've been thinking a lot lately and I really Really REALLY want to do the Susan G. Komen 3-Day - Dang, I didn't get to do this, but I did knock out a couple more half marathons and a butt load of 5ks for charity

3-I am going to start keeping a workout journal.  I am hoping this will help with my abs/weights workouts. - Yep, keep a notebook in my gym bag and keep track of my weights and workouts.

4-I am going to try a new workout. - I started the year with belly dancing. Then I did some yoga. And then boot camp. YEAH! 

5-I am going to get into that bikini by June. - Yep, I did it!

Honestly, last year was the first year that I stuck to mine. Maybe it was because I put it out on the blog or maybe it's because I'm finally taking it seriously that I needed to change my life.

It is New Year's Eve and I did not go to McDonalds, Burger King, or Wendy's once this year. There were many temptations to do it, but I resisted.  So proud. And thank goodness for Subway.

Now it's time to make 5 new ones.

1. I will get my Personal Trainer Certification!  YES I WILL

2. I am going to incorporate yoga into my weekly schedule. I throw it in every now and then, and I've talked about adding it regularly, but I have yet to do so.  The good news is that I just found a groupon for 10 sessions. YEAH!

3. I am going to focus on making a new healthy recipe every other week. I need to switch it up and introduce new things into my diet. I was actually thinking of going Vegetarian for a couple of weeks and seeing how that works out for me. But, don't hold me to that last part. I like my chicken too much.

4. I'm going to put it out there. I want that full marathon this year!

5. I am going to lose the damn belly!

And for a little fun

6. I am going to get Tony Stewart to call me. I have been thinking of going viral with a "Call Me Maybe" video for him. Haha....sigh I heart him.

Okay kids, I promise to write all about my Christmas travel adventures, but I need to do a  few things before heading out tonight.  I promise to write more tomorrow.

I wish you a Happy And Healthy New Year my friends.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Rudolph's Random Wednesday

Holla for Random Wednesday!

I don't know what it is, but every single day this week I thought was Thursday.  Every day I went "well at least tomorrow is Friday"...Um...How can you think that on a Monday?


So tonight it finally was cupcake night at the gym. BAH!  I don't know what the promotion was.  It was for slaps on the back or something. But the reward was cupcakes for everyone. NO THANK YOU.


Friday we had our little group lunch.  We went to Chili's. Now I picked Chili's because there were some nice healthy options. There was a grilled chicken sandwich with a side of broccoli that I had my eye on.  However, before I got there I started to panic about money for Florida.  And so I started looking at the lunch combos. That's when it happened: Southwestern Mac'n'Cheese. YES PLEASE!  I ordered it with the house salad. When the waitress came I just looked at her like she was crazy. That was the smallest pan of Mac'n'cheese. Everyone else at the table got their food on big giant plates.

Surprise! I was actually full when I was done. It came with some chicken, bread crumbs, and jalapenos. O.M.G....hello lover!

I was mad at myself because in the end I only saved $1.  It's not like I could suddenly afford another tank of gas.  Then I remembered, it was my scheduled cheat day. YEAH!


I think I've mentioned this before, I really do sweat.  And I'm allergic to my own sweat. I break out in hives like crazy. It's kind of gross after a workout. I have hives so bad that make me look like I've been beaten with reeds.

Oh, I also breakout when I'm stressed. I get an especially annoying hive on my neck that makes me look like I have a hickey.


So did you see the story about the Obese man who was granted a stay of execution? He had claimed that he is so obese that he can not be humanely executed.  The Governor actually spared him on the grounds in insufficient legal defense.  But, what I want to know is how do you get to be 450lbs in prison?  Okay, I know it's not the healthiest of meals served and he may only get 1 hour of activity a day, but it's not like he can be stuffing his face all day long.


It's killing me not to sit on the exercise ball at work right now.  I want to sooooooo bad every day, but my legs are stiff from just sitting in the chair. They kill me after even 10 minutes on the ball right now. BOOOOO.


Saturday I finally got to sign up for my Cross Fit class. I will take the class on Saturdays.  I like it because it's something good to do close to home.  Plus I like the idea of meeting people with the same interests as myself. Plus I'm thinking there might be a cute boy or two there.


Raise your hand if you are excited that Jillian is coming back to Biggest Loser. BOTH ARE UP!  How many days until January 6?  Wait, that's a Sunday...Is Biggest Loser moving to Sunday?

I have been trying to get Bob Harper to Tweet me, but alas, it hasn't happened (even though I slightly stalk him in instagram and twitter).  I heart Bob Harper!

I got my first Christmas present this year. Gym Buddy Lisa is awesome!  She gave me a bag of study supplies: highlighters, pens, and stickies.  I can take a hint!  haha. So grateful!  I am bringing my study bag to Florida.  I have a 17 hour train ride back...I think I can get started!  I was almost going to plan on studying on New Year's Eve, but alas I am going to a friend's...but maybe I will bring it in case I get bored. haha...Just kidding Bibble!


Target has a Christmas shirt that I LOVE.  It's red with Santa on hit and it says "I Believe". I held a Large up and it looked Huge. So I got a medium. I tried it on the other night and felt like a stuffed sausage. Feeling a tad bloated I decided to try it on in the morning (I am always at my thinnest then).  It looked much better, but it was still a No. I wanted to believe that next year I would rock it. And I might, but I have boobs and I don't think it's made for them. So I took it back :-(


During Christmas Andes Candies are my Krptonite


So another part of my trip this weekend is that I will be meeting up with a Superfan :-)  I have been blessed to meet so many people through this blog.  I have particularly become good friends with Ms. Mary Ann.  I wish I had more time to sit and visit with her, but I'll plan something more next time.


On Sunday I organized a cookie baking day. I know, I should have come up with something better. Basically I planned it for a few reasons. One, I thought it would be nice to send something to the shut ins who are unable to make it to church during this Christmas season.  Second, I wanted to bring the kids and the um..older silver haired kids together. Third, cookies made in church have no calories.

Anyway, there was supposed to be a sign up sheet that didn't get put out. On the sign up sheet was an option to bring "snacks" since we would be doing this around lunch time. I was in a full panic driving to church thinking "I'm not going to eat until 2pm...I'm going to be too hungry to resist the cookies.  So I stopped at the grocery store and bought a bag of apples and oranges.

I kept telling everyone to eat some fruit and I was so proud to see all of the girls eating apples.  And I am proud to say I only ate 2 cookies.


Don't forget to update your playlist. Here is a list of hot workout songs that I was sent:

Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble - 77 BPM
Avicii - Silhouettes - 129 BPM
The Script & Will.I.Am - Hall of Fame - 87 BPM
One Direction - Kiss You - 90 BPM
Calvin Harris & Florence Welch - Sweet Nothing - 127 BPM
Ludacris, Usher & David Guetta - Rest of My Life - 129 BPM
Flo Rida - I Cry - 126 BPM
Fun. - Some Nights - 110 BPM
Bingo Players - Cry (Just a Little) - 128 BPM
PSY & MC Hammer - Gangnam Style / 2 Legit 2 Quit - 131 BPM

To find more workout songs, folks can check out the free database at Visitors can browse the song selections there by genre, tempo, and era—to find the music that best fits with their particular workout routine.

Have a Blessed Night my friends

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Living in Constant Fear and the Holidays aren't Helping

Hello Beautiful People,

The good news is that my anxiety is subsiding. I can breathe right now. YEAH! I got my oil changed last night and I got permission to work from home Friday. This way I can finish my laundry and pack my car on my lunch hour. I can hit the road at 5pm sharp!

I'm feeling so good that I was actually able to sit and read at lunch. I got an unexpected bonus hour on Sunday and tried to relax at Starbucks with my book and I couldn't focus. Me?  I am the girl that can read a book in the middle of a hurricane. It takes a lot to distract me.

Reading at lunch was good. We tried walking at the mall yesterday during lunch, but it's getting a little too crowded.  So I knew my butt would be getting to the gym tonight. I did not get the workouts this weekend that I had hoped and my piddly little mall walk yesterday was all I got. I don't like this at all.

I know that my body is tired. I know that my body is injured. I know that it's the Holidays. I know that I'm super busy. I know that I have lots to do. But, the Former Fat Girl could always come up with an excuse. She is super excited right now.

The less active I am the more my body craves rest. I had a meeting with my manager today and we were sitting in the comfy chairs that like to read in. He asked me how my race was and then when I went to stand up I was moving slowly. I didn't even realize until he asked if I was okay. The more I sit, the more my legs stiffen. So now I am worried. I am driving to Florida this are definitely going to make a bunch of stops to stretch my legs and that's just going to lengthen the trip. I like to have a 3 hour minimum before I stop, but I think it may be closer to 2.

So I got my butt to the gym tonight. I grabbed my book and got on the treadmill. I am still banning myself from running until 2013.  The book is a good incentive to stay walking.  My other trick for myself was to not put my hair up. I can't run if my hair is down and in my face.   I was feeling good though so I increased my speed for my walk. I was up .2mph for my reading pleasure. I was just short of jogging. I'm not sure I could jog and read so this was good.

I wanted some Abs time, but I really wanted some hydro massage bed time.  Can you love an inanimate object?  I think I am in a relationship with this bed. GAH! My body feels so good after just ten minutes. My shoulders are relaxed. My lower back is not sore. My legs are refreshed. I get all giddy when I sign in for my turn. I am thinking of naming it Henry.  He makes me so happy!

On my way home I stopped in to Walmart to pick up some flavored water and my feet reminded me of something...those damn blisters have not healed. That's some more incentive not to run.

Right now I need to be smart. If I can't get my workouts in that I want, I need to at least stay active.  Even though my body enjoys the day(s) of rest, my mind is living in fear.  The more days that I am not burning calories during this season of tasty treats, the more I'm scared of gaining.  That is forever in the back of my mind.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Monday, December 17, 2012

Holidays: Anxiety, Stress, OCD, and Eating

Hello my Friends,

Is anyone else having a hard time focusing?  I cried listening to teachers talking on the radio this morning.  I cried when I saw pictures of tributes to the victims during football games this weekend. I mean we are talking big ploppy tears.  I had no make up left on my face by 10am.  I gotta say that I got a little too overjoyed when I had to pee. As much water as I have been drinking I have not needed to use the ladies room that much. It was all coming out in tears.

I know that I said I would recap my weekend, but I'm going to talk a little about it and then finish up later.

First, I forgot to mention in last night's post that Friday night Gym Buddy Lisa and I were at the gym on the treadmills. It felt good to be there and getting a workout in, but all that was on the televisions was coverage from Connecticut. It was VERY hard to stay on.  My pace was slow and choppy. 

Second, I kind of figured out why I am having so much stress and anxiety right now. I have told you how much I love Christmas. I am all about the traditions. This year is completely different. We aren't having a family party (unable to get everyone together). Usually I spend Christmas Eve at my Sister's with my Dad and then Christmas morning I drive to my uncle's in my PJs and spend Christmas day curled up watching A Christmas Story with my cousins.  This year I will be in Florida. I won't see my Dad until January.

I am truly excited about my trip. I can't wait to see my brother and sister'n'law and meet my adorable nephew.  But, not having my normal Christmas routines is making me anxious. Remember, I am the girl that would spend 3 hours putting tinsel on the tree (one strand at a time...and would FREAK OUT if there was more than one). It's not rational. There's nothing I can do.  But, when I get anxious I want to eat. BAH. 

When I feel things are out of my control I start to get a little manic with my OCD. All of the lotions have to be facing the same way on the dresser. I push my carrots in to perfect little piles before I eat them. I straighten and restraighten the notebooks on my desk. And I fidget.

Oh and throw in the travel aspect and I'm about to lose it. I am used to traveling.  I do it all of the time. And I'm good at it. I should be a professional. But, I am good when I am by myself. When I have to wait for someone else to be ready I am not so good.  I love my mom and I do enjoy traveling with her once we are on the road, but I get very stressed trying to get out of the door. 

I have to tell you that she read my post about Tips for Surviving  the Holidays and is scared about the "food in the trunk" and "no eating in the car" rules. She says she's going to store nuts in her coat pockets and sneak them when I'm not looking. ha ha.

Okay, so when I stress I want to eat. And then if I eat something I shouldn't, then I stress some more. It's a vicious cycle. I started counting up my calories yesterday and it freaked me out. I was 1500 over my regular allotment. 1500!  3000 calories is one pound. I ate and didn't workout. BAH!

One of the things I post on my Confessions Facebook page ( are healthy tips that are sent to me. This is the one that I posted today:

*** Today's Tip:  IT'S All ABOUT BALANCE                           

Losing weight is a matter of balancing your calories. To lose weight you have to eat and drink fewer calories than you are burning. Generally, a reduction of 500 to 1,000 calories per day can result in a 1 to 2 pound per week weight loss. But, we all respond to weight loss efforts differently, so see how your body responds during several weeks of eating less and/or being more active. A safe rate of weight loss is generally considered one-half pound to 2 pounds per week.

Sources: Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics

Well read that backwards. If you are increasing your daily calories by 500 to 1,000 a day you are gaining 1-2 pounds a week.   And if you are not being active then you aren't burning any of them off.  It's ain't pretty my friends.  

Okay kids, I came home tonight to watch the Syracuse game. Mr. Jim Boeheim is going for his 900th's about to happen so I must give him my undivided attention.

Have a Blessed Night my friends

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Emotional eating during a time of Tragedy

Hello my friends,

It's very hard to sit and write tonight.  My heart is heavy for families and communities suffering such tremendous losses.  My eyes are blurry from crying for days.

I had so much to write about from this weekend, but I will hold off on that until tomorrow.  Instead, I will talk about the emotions of this weekend.

First of all, I am a crier. Good Lord, am I a crier. I cry during hallmark commercials. I cry when the wait staff sings Happy Birthday to people clear across the restaurant that I do not even know. I cry when I am happy.  I cry when I am sad.  I cry when I sing in church (or in the car practicing songs for I did all morning).  I leak so much water that my body bloats. It's true. I have to associate tissues with bottles of water. I have to force myself to drink water when I know that I will be crying a lot. I am well over my 64 oz of water but I still feel so parched. I feel like for every 8 ounces I drink I have cried out twice as much.  My belly is so swollen.

Second of all, sadness makes me want to eat. I was at Target today. I stopped for a few groceries for the week. I had mentally mapped out my route to avoid those chocolate filled aisles. But, everywhere I turned people were talking about the loss of all of those lives in Connecticut.  I let my guard down and before I knew it, my body had literally walked itself over to the holiday chocolate aisle. When I snapped out of it, I realized that I had several bags of hershey kisses in my basket.  I really don't remember putting them in there.

I was a little scared when I realized what I had done.  I have worked so hard to change my habits, but my emotional crutch is still food.  I really don't know if this will ever change. During Church this morning the names of those who were killed were read and the bells rang. If there was a vat of chocolate in front of me, I would have dived right in right then and there.

This weekend has been full of emotional highs and lows.  I am not going to lie. I put those bags back, but I cheated a lot this weekend.  Cupcakes. Mini Cupcakes. Cookies. Queso dip. Donut. Pizza.  My portions and quantities were low, but the fact that there were so many makes me mad. In all honesty, I don't even really taste what I eat either. There is no savoring it. I'm sort of numb when I'm emotionally eating. I am going through the motions without really enjoying it. I need to get a hold of myself and my emotions.  It's okay to cry, but it's not okay to seek comfort in empty calories.  I've worked too hard to take so many steps backwards.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Friday, December 14, 2012

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year...and tips to survive it

Happy Friday Bleeps!

I HEART Christmas. I do. I am one of those annoying people that watches every Christmas movie ever made during the season (and yes, I am of the belief that the great love story of my life will happen at Christmas time just like one of the Hallmark Channel Movies). My car radio is set to the Christmas stations on November 1st. I actually like the holiday buzz when shopping. I still send 50 plus Christmas cards out every year and get excited when I come home to a new card in the mail. Although I do not wear the Christmas sweaters...I do sport some Christmas t-shirts.  I am Little Miss Christmas.

However, it's a much different time for me these days. It was always stressful, but it was a happy stressful. The Former Fat Girl used to see the food at Christmas and cheer. The new fit girl feels like Scrooge sometimes.  It's hard to get excited about the food and the constant business is threatening my workout schedule.  I no longer fantasize about what food will be served.  Instead I am dreading it and hoping there are healthy options.

I am not claiming to be an expert in Surviving the Holidays, but I will share with you some tips that have helped me through these past few years.

*Get out a monthly calendar and plan out your events. Make sure to include "workout" on your free days.
*Plan your workouts in the morning on weekends so that you don't get "too busy"
*Plan your cheat meals around parties or meals out with friends/family/coworkers
*Walk around neighborhoods as a family and enjoy the Holiday decorations

*Eat before you go shopping
*Bring a bottle of water with you to stay hydrated
*Don't fight the parking, park far away and take trips to the car...Every little extra step counts
*Wear comfortable shoes. I don't want to hear any excuses "My feet hurt so I'm not working out today"
*Get in a workout before shopping. That way you've already got it covered in case you are "too tired" after
*Make a list of who you need to buy for and stick to the list
*Avoid buying candy or savory treats as gifts. Keep it I cannot tell you the number of times I had to buy a new gift because I ate the one I already bought for someone
*Don't kill your back. Minimize your pocketbook.
*Pack a protein bar in case you feel hungry

*Do NOT hang out in the kitchen. Park yourself far away from the food.
*Offer to help with cleanup not set up.
*Offer to bring a vegetable or salad
*Make sure to eat before.  If the party is for dinner, eat a protein packed afternoon snack. Don't go to the party hungry.
*Chew gum to keep from snacking.

*Do NOT eat in the car.  Pull over to a restaurant that has seating or stop in a park to eat. Remember, if you can get it through a Drive-thru don't get it.
*Keep any food/treats you are bringing in the trunk
*Drink plenty of water and plan for bathroom stops. The sodium in soda makes you bloat
*If the trip is excessively long, pull over and walk around a little while. Get the blood circulating. Do some jumping jacks or squats to move.
*Pack healthy snacks (veggies, sliced apples, granola, nuts, cheerios, etc)

I am driving to Florida next weekend and I'm full of all sorts of emotions. I'm so excited! I'm going to see my brother and sister-in-law...and I'm going to meet my nephew for the first time. I'm also planning my pitstops around Charlotte and Savannah. One is to see some friends and one is for a BBQ/walking break. One travel day will be about 10-12 hours in the car. It's going to be stressful. I can't eat too much because I won't be burning any calories, but when you are in a car that long and all you are doing is passing signs for the food at the next exit...well it messes with your mind.

No one said it's going to be easy, but it is doable. Remember, we can get through this together!

Have a Blessed Night my friends

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Old Friends, Old Coats, and New Blisters

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Well I had originally planned to make today's post my Holiday Tips post. I will work on that tomorrow or this weekend though.  Instead, I'm going to recap my day for you.

First off, I can no longer sleep in. I hydrate myself so dang much that I wake up to pee first thing in the morning. I woke up at 4am to go and then I had a dream that I could not find the bathroom at a family party and when I did the line was so long I was there doing the pee pee dance. Good Lord, I was doing the pee pee dance in my dream because I really did have to go. I woke up at 6 and went. And then I woke up for good at 7:55. I didn't even make it until 8. How depressing.

When I finally got up I realized that I forgot to bring home something to eat for breakfast. I eat breakfast at work. I meant to bring home some oatmeal, but I didn't. Luckily I keep protein bars in stock so I had one and a banana.

I had plans to meet friends for lunch at 12:30 so I wanted to get some Christmas cards done before I left...and possibly watch a cheesy Christmas movie or two.  I got both done.  I also checked in with grandmom to see if she was around today for a visit. She is sick and asked if I could pick up her medicine. So I did.

*Hoping you get better soon Grandmom Joyce*

When I dropped it off we started talking about coats and vests to keep us warm. She offered to give me back a leather coat that my aunt had made for me in Korea way back in the day when she was stationed there. I loved this coat!  It has a removable fur liner and my name sewn inside.  My first instinct was: No, keep it because it won't fit!  I got the coat back in high school.  And then it dawned on me. It WILL fit!  So I have my coat back :-)

I could only visit for a little bit because I was going to be late for lunch. I actually arrived only a few minutes late, but I could not find parking. Wow. I knew that people were excited that Buckley's Tavern reopened, but I didn't think it would be standing room on a Thursday lunch. My pal Jen was there waiting for me and as soon as we walked in we saw Chucky!  Ahem, I mean Chuck.  He was Chucky back in 4th grade...and we haven't seen him since them. It was so great to see him.

We got seated and I knew I wanted to get the grilled veggie wrap, but man I could smell burgers. We ordered a bruschetta appetizer to start.  Jen ordered the burger with my long as she gave me a bite. I stuck to my grilled veggie wrap. I really wanted a burger, but I am going out for a work lunch tomorrow. I must behave.  I actually put some of the extra bruschetta on the wrap to give it a little extra flavor....DELICIOUS.

Before our food came we got a tour of the renovations and improvements. I'm very excited. Can't wait to go back again. There is a bison burger that I am itching to try. The place is great. And the food is spectacular!  Before we left they offered us dessert. I shouldn't...I really shouldn't. But I got some to go. I got a slice of lemon cheesecake with berries. The slice was small and they gave me extra berries to make it healthier. haha.

Jen and I went to Starbucks after for the holiday drink special. We kept it to tall skinny peppermint mochas. And then there was some Christmas shopping going on. I am almost finished now!  HOLLA!

When I got home I got to work on wrapping and organizing the rest of my presents.  I was a couple hours in to my hard work when I looked at the time. It was dinner time. I wasn't really hungry, but I needed to be a good girl and eat my dinner before my dessert. So I made my dinner and thoroughly enjoyed my dessert.

Right now I'm aching to go to bed, but my adrenaline is pumping like mad.  I also have a very stiff neck.  Usually that is a sign of a sinus infection...or a change in air pressure....argh. So I shall get out the heating pad.

I had really hoped to get some Yoga in today, but by getting everything done that I did I have opened up an extra night next week for the gym. YEAH!  Well the other thing is that my ankle started to bother me again today. I'm guessing the hour on the treadmill last night was not good. It also flared up my blisters. The small blister is now twice the size as it was on Saturday.  My body is definitely trying to get me to slow down and take it easy...I'm trying to listen.

Okay kids, I'm going to go try and relax now. Wish me luck.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Feeling Cray Cray on Random Wednesday

It's Random Wednesday!  Can I get a Woo Woo?

Hello my friends. I'm so excited! I have another day off tomorrow. I can sleep in! YEAH!  I have a lot to do though to get ready for Christmas. I need to finish my Christmas cards, go to the post office, finish my shopping, wrapping, get an oil change, do laundry, start packing, etc. Now I won't be getting all of that done tomorrow. In fact I will probably only get to a few on that list. I have plans to meet my friend Jen for lunch and go see our friend Chuck at his restaurant. Haven't seen him since elementary school so I'm pretty excited.

I have been looking at the menu online and have found what I want to order. A grilled Veggie wrap with pesto. Maybe I should tell him now to have that ready so that I don't change my mind and go for the burger.


Also on my list of things to do is to go get my Christmas Present to myself. I found a groupon for Crossfit in the area. I have emailed with owner to find out how the groupon will work and basically it's for any 10 classes I want. Right now my foot is mending and I will be away for a week so I just want to get in there and buy them. Then I will start in January. That will be my Saturday workouts through March. SWEET.


So did you see the news about the 9 year old that lost 66 lbs? Wanna know how she did it?  Exercise and eating right.  I'm so excited that this story made the news. There was no "quick fix". Her mother did the right thing. She started getting the family out there on the 4 mile trail every day. They did it together.

Today we went out to lunch...well sort of. Ms. Tracey and I went out to get the food and then we joined Ms. Barb and Ms. Robin in the lunchroom. We picked Cosi, one of our favorite places. There are so many things I like to eat there...but a lot of sodium. I did enjoy that chipotle lime chicken salad last time, but I wanted more than a salad. So instead I went next door to Subway and got my 6 inch tuscan chicken sandwich. I even skipped making it a meal and got veggie chips in the vending machine when we got back. They grew on me. Actually, they weren't that bad.


The Santa at the mall by work is very....Jolly. There is no padding. It actually scares me. He looks bigger every year. He doesn't sit in a chair. He has a couch...and no lap.


Last minute presents are driving me cray cray!  When all else failed I used to always get chocolate or candy for people. Can't do that now. BAH! 


My mom sends me a text picture every morning wishing me a good day...with a picture of Keith Urban or Tony Stewart...I really wish he would call! Dear Santa....


So I finally got on the scale. Maintaining.


I will be in Florida for Christmas. HOLLA!  And I have already looked up where the nearest Planet Fitness is.  It's about 15 miles away. I will have my car so it's doable...but it's also Florida and I would like to go for walks long as there are no alligators...

If you thought my fear of frogs was funny...well prepare to be hysterical.


I love Love LOVE Christmas!  I do. You will be hard pressed to find someone who loves the season as much as I do.  But, I am starting to get to the "I need this over with now" phase because I need to get back into my routine. I am very scared about binging and overindulging and laziness...although I know some of you tell me that just reading about my schedule exhausts you. haha. Well it exhausts me too. 

Don't every paint your nails when you are tired. Just don't. I did mine after the gym last night. My left side looks fine...but my right looks like my 5 yr old goddaughter painted it.

Good news!  I finally scheduled my lunch at Season's 52. My reward for winning the fitness competition was a gift card for it and it's been difficult to coordinate schedules. I am sharing mine with Ms. Lety and we are going next Wednesday.

So I have been obsessing over the menu.  There is a grilled veggie sandwich that I am intrigued by, but that is a year-round entree. I feel that I should go seasonal. So there is a western buffalo burger that I have my eye on or the maple duck salad.

I cannot wait!


Okay so a couple of weeks ago I put out there on facebook and instagram: should I cut my hair?  It was driving me crazy.  It wasn't styling nice, but I needed it long enough to put up in pig tails for the race last weekend. Well I switched shampoos and it miraculously grew the half inch I needed. I love it now!  I'm going to keep my length...for now. Sorry mom.


Have a Blessed Night my friends

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Comfort Zones, Dealing with Change, and Potluck

Hello Beautiful People,

Okay, so I know I joke around that I was going back to the old gym because I am stalking Gym Crush 1, but that's not really true. He's just a perk.  I do love my new gym, but there has been so much change in my life over the past couple of months that I crave the comfort of the old gym. I know the people. I know the machines. It's like my gym version of mac'n'cheese.

It's hard.  In order to get from The Former Fat Girl to where I am now, that totally meant shaking things up and stepping out of my comfort zone. It meant changing everything from what I ate to how I spent my free time.  And I did it!  I did it well. And now here I sit looking for the comfort zone at the gym.

One of my problems is that I workout out of habit. I need to switch things up more.  I need to shake them up. Your body gets used to something and will adjust. That's when you plateau and makes it that much harder to lose the weight.

Right now I am adjusting to the new place, the new longer commute, the holidays, the new weekend schedules. It's a lot to adjust to.  Don't get me wrong. I love the new place. I do. I love the new area. I am tolerating the commute (listening to a lot more books on cds). I love Christmas. And my weekends were never normal to begin with.  It's just a lot all at once.

When I moved to Charlotte in 2004 it was the weekend after Thanksgiving. That was a huge change right during the holiday season. I LOVED moving there, but I didn't handle it the best way. I was not working out and I was just plain eating.  That's how I handled stress. And so with all of the changes that I am dealing with right now my urge to eat and binge has never been higher.

I spend a lot of time in my car and I hear that voice "Just pull over and stop here for food. You are by yourself. No one has to know."  I have pretty much resisted that voice, but it's getting stronger.  Sneak eating was one of my favorite things to do. It was like a secret rush. Calories don't count if no one else knows right?  Oh please, like I was worried about calories back then? What I was worried about was what people would think if they knew how much I ate.  I still do.  The secret shame of eating is horrible!  You get that initial high from the food and then immediately crash because you don't want anyone to find out and you get paranoid that someone is going to see the trash and KNOW WHAT YOU DID!  To this day I still hide my wrappers even if no one is around.

Going to the old gym last night was like putting on a pair of old worn slippers. My brain sighed with relief. I'll take that as a good sign. My body is mentally reacting to working out. It's craving it.  And so I will continue to go back to the old gym one night a week just for my sanity right now.  But, tonight I hit the massage bed...ahhh.

I was so happy for that massage. One of the changes is that my workout times are now reduced to 30-60 minutes depending on the traffic I hit on my way. Previously I could stay for 90 minutes if I wanted to. I lived 10 minutes away. Now it's 35-45 minutes from home. This gym is only 9 miles from work, but with rush hour traffic it takes 25-45 minutes to get there. Tonight there was a disabled vehicle in the construction lanes. It took me 45 minutes to get there. That cut my workout time to 45 minutes and that included the 10 minute massage. My workout was 30 minutes. Argh.  


Alright, so today was Potluck day.  How do you think I did?  First let me tell you all that was on the menu:

Hoagie tray from Subway
Chick-fil-A nugget tray
Roasted chickens
homemade mac'n'cheese
Baked Ziti
Buffalo chicken casserole
Greek dip
Beer Bread and dip
and my Veggie Tray

Okay, the first thing I put on my  tray was veggies. And then I took a slice of the hoagie.  And then a couple spoonfuls of the Mac'n'cheese. I think a piece of chocolate got thrown on there. I took a few pieces of the chicken nuggets. And then I had to have the buffalo chicken casserole. I HAD to!

I felt content when I finished. I could have stopped there. If I had left the building and walked away I would have been fine. But, I think that just knowing that food is 20 feet away is my problem. I WANT more even if I'm not hungry. And so I went back. But, I only got more vegetables, a spoonful of mac'n'cheese and a couple of cookies. I made sure that the veggies took up half of my plate.

I could have been better. I could have just had the chicken and the veggies. But, I could have been a lot worse.

Before I go, let me just say that I always get mad that I pay so much for the veggie tray. I could save money if I made it myself, but I always think "I have no tray to put it on". So add to my Christmas list a tray or platter with a lid for veggies :-)

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Monday, December 10, 2012

I think I broke my butt

Happy Monday Bleeps!

So the question is: knowing what I know now about how much I am hurting after the Half Marathon on Saturday, would I do it again?  Yes, yes I would.

I hope that my pain isn't discouraging anyone from dreaming of their own Half.  Although first let me say that nothing annoys me more than when someone says "Oh 13.1 miles? I can do that."  Generally it is said in a condescending way. Second, of course you can, but it does take training.  You are not going to be able to just get up off of your couch and go do it. You just need to put the time and effort into preparing your body for it.  I want you to want to do it!  And I for one will be your biggest cheerleader.  I would love to get a group of people and train them for their first Half. I would be happy to pace them and get them jazzed up.

I still have dreams of finishing a full marathon next year. It is a commitment though. I would need to get serious about my training. When I start to think about it my brain just starts screaming "When the heck are you going to have time to train? You couldn't even handle a Half and you have done them before."  I need to prioritize. First thing first though. I have to concentrate on getting my Personal Trainer Certification. No ifs, ands, or buts about it!

Before I go on, I just want to give my shout out thanks to some people for this weekend.

Thank you Kristin for joining me for the race.

Thank you Ms. Cheryl for feeding me both nights.

Thank you Heather for being my photographer, cheerleader, and chauffer.

Okay so today I got up and went to work. It was hard mentally. I sit all day long and I knew that would not be good for my sore muscles. I told Ms. Lety that even if I did not need to use the ladies room when she did, I would still walk over there with her just to get up and move around.  My butt was SORE today!  Can you sprain your butt? I'm pretty sure that I did.  Maybe I broke it. It sure as heck feels like I did.

So tonight I went back to the old gym. I had hoped to see Gym Crush 1.  When I signed in they ask for the reason why you are visiting another site. I put "visit" because I was pretty sure "stalking" would be frowned upon. haha.

I got on the treadmill for a light 20 minutes just to loosen up my legs. And then I went over to the machines for back and chest. My legs needed a break. I was feeling good after my upper body and went over to the abs/stretching area. I did 10 minutes of abs and then just went to town stretching. Ahhh...Good stuff!

Sadly, Gym Crush 1 never came. I did see Gym Crush 2 again though.

I was really tired when I was driving home, but I got a little excited. I did not have to pack my lunch for tomorrow at least.  We are having a potluck at work.  I signed up to bring a veggie tray and already took it in this morning. I saw the list of what people volunteered to bring in and I'm a little nervous at my options.  I am also going out to lunch the rest of the week. I don't usually like to do this, but I'm away for a week for Christmas and I'm trying to get everything in at once. Not gonna lie, it's causing some anxiety, but I'm looking at it like a challenge. And I intend to win!

Oh and going back to the drive home from the gym, it's a 45 minute drive. I have now instituted a new rule in the house. I have the downstairs bathroom on permanent reservation from 7:30-7:45 every gym night. I can't take the chance of anyone being in there. I have had to pee soooo bad every night that I got home. Don't know how I have not peed my pants yet.

Have a Blessed Night My Friends,

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Third Half Marathon...this one HURT, but I still finished :-)

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Once again, I hadn't meant for there to be so many days since the last post. Thursday night I went to the gym for a light walk and hydro-massage. Then I just sort of crashed while watching my Thursday night tv shows.  It was okay though, because I had Friday off.

Originally I was going to get up and go down to the beach early. I was going to hole up in Starbucks and study before I could pick up my registration packet.  Then Heather decided that she wanted to come down for the weekend. If I waited until the afternoon we would ride together. Sure. So I used my morning to take care of some Christmas stuff. It's coming soon you know!

So we got on the road with the plan to stop halfway down there for some lunch and a quick stop at Target. I needed to pick up some tape for my ankle. When Heather and I road trip it to the beach we like to stop at Sonic. It was time to carb up. OMG I got french toast sticks and tater tots. I heart french toast sticks. There were only four, but I could have easily eaten a dozen.

When we got to Target I started thinking about what I would wear for the race. I wasn't sure how the weather would be so I packed both shorts and pants and short sleeves and long sleeves.  But, I started to look around and see if they had anything I might want to wear. In the clearance section I found a cute blue running jacket. They only had a medium and an XL. The medium looked small.  I took them both in to the dressing room (ugh). The medium felt tight. I wasn't sure. I asked Heather and she said it looked great. To compare, I put on the XL and that so unbelievably big. Medium it is.

We got down to the beach and picked up my packet and Kristin's. Love the shirts this year. It's the same design as last year, but they are neon yellow and long sleeve. I had also planned on buying a sweatshirt. Last year they were selling the previous year's sweatshirts for $20 less than the new ones. So I figured I would wait until this year to get last year's. By the time we got there they had two left from last year. One pink in a medium and one red in an XL. I loved that the lady selling them said "You would fit in medium." And I did :-)  So I got it.

And then it was off to Ms. Cheryl's for dinner. Whole wheat pasta. Salad. Garlic bread. Green bean salad. I heart carb loading day!  It was Delicious!  We couldn't stay long though, because we had to get up early.

I was getting nervous. My foot has been bothering me and I did not get my training in like I had hoped. The move and that stupid virus held me back.  I just was not as excited as I should have been. As I was laying on the couch (I was not staying upstairs because of the steps) and I was checking my email. I saw a comment on a previous post from Bobbi calling me "inspiring". Bobbi, if you are reading this, you have no idea how much I needed that :-)  Thank you.  Also, I'm totally routing for you.

When my alarm went off in the morning I jumped off of the couch. I had slept with my foot elevated and it was feeling a little better. I had bigger problems. I had no idea what I was going to wear. It was warm. So I opted for shorts, short sleeved shirt, new jacket, and knee socks. Once that decided I had to decide on the shoes.

The knee socks served two purposes. They would keep my calves warm, but they are also thin and would help when my foot swelled in my sneakers. The downside is that I would probably get blisters from the friction.  I had the sneakers down to my nice neon ones or the older blue pair that matched my outfit. I went old school.

When we got there it was actually nice. I even handed my gloves to Heather because I didn't need them. When it was time to start once again I got caught up in the runners. So we ran for part of the first mile. And then my foot hurt. so we dropped down to the walking that I needed. The problem is that I didn't get my warm up in before I ran so I always take a little while to recover to my walking pace after a run.

While we were walking I noticed that mile 3 took us a little further to the turn around than we had last year.  I wondered where they would make an adjustment later. I was feeling good and we were holding good pace. My foot felt okay. The shoe wasn't feeling tight at all. Of course that meant that my other foot was sliding all over the place. I felt like my right foot was ice skating inside the sneaker. 

It was still fairly warm. It was cloudy though with a wet mist. This was nice though. I actually took my jacket off and wrapped it around my waist. It is December and I was wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt. Gotta love it.

On mile 5 we were coming up on a water stop and there was an action photographer. Quick! We have to run for the picture! We ran all of ten feet and then stopped to pick up water. That was when I noticed something. My legs were numb. I didn't feel the cold as long as I was moving. Oops.

Soon we were on mile 6 and that took us through the trail for about 6 miles. It got us off of the wet asphalt, but put us in the mud. UGH. There were some puddles as wide as the trail. That meant you had to slow down and trudge through the mud. So glad I did not wear the new sneakers.

Okay so things started to change around mile 8. Up until then we were on pace to best my Philly Rock'N'Roll time by at least 15 minutes. But, things changed drastically. My legs started to tighten up. What? This has not happened before. We made the turn around on mile 9 and we were heading towards the finish line now. But, the tightening got worse. I could feel blisters on my feet, my ankle was sore and my legs felt like I had just ridden a bike to North Carolina and back. Kristin went ahead to run the last 3 miles and I resigned myself to just hoping to finish standing. I could feel my time slowing down. My short legs were shortening their stride even more. Mile 10 sucked!  But, I remembered that it was my toughest mile last year too. Mentally it was hard. My legs were tight and my butt felt like someone was giving it a mammogram.

The good news is that this time around I was still with a bunch of people and the leader for the full marathon didn't pass me before I got to the last turnaround,. He passed me on mile 10. Even as bad as I was feeling, my time was still better than the first one. That's little consolation though when I just wanted to lay down in the mud and let them trample over me. Honestly, the thing that kept me moving was knowing that there was food at the finish line.

So then I got to mile 12 and all I thought was "Hey, you got this. There are only 2 miles left!  I can handle 30 minutes...maybe. Good lord my legs hurt.  The best thing was that right then Ricky Martin started blaring on the playlist. "Do you really want it?" YES I DO! "Go Go Go"  Thanks Ricky!

By mile 13 my pace was unbelievably slow. I was in tears. I had hoped that no matter what I would be able to run the last mile. That was not going to happen. When I came around that last turn and saw the tent in the distance it was full on sobs. I don't understand how my lower body could be numb and yet be in so much pain. Why couldn't I lengthen my stride? Why were the legs sooooo tight?  I have come up with two answers for that. One is that I just plain did not get the long distance training in that I had for the previous races. My time has been short with all that is going on. Two is that maybe it was the shorts. Maybe if I wore pants that would have kept the muscles warmer. The temperature did drop a little and maybe that contributed.

Anyway, I pushed the pain away and ran across the finish line. I saw my time and my face deflated. I got my medal, water, and superwoman cape and went straight into the tent. I wanted pancakes so bad. But, the first thing I saw was the hamburger table. Sadly, they were out of hamburgers. So I got a bun and cheese and just munched on that while I was walking around. At the end of the table was BBQ pulled pork sliders. Only my most favorite! However, my hands were swollen and I couldn't hold the tongs long enough to move the pork to the bun. It took me 5 minutes for 2. No time to waste I spotted the pancakes and went over. I filled my plate. When I left the tent I was trying to find Heather. We eventually met up and found a bench by the tent. It was time to sit down.

Um so I ate my pancakes with my hands...because I couldn't hold a fork. I really was a mess. BUT I FINISHED! I did go back in to the tent for more food. I picked us up some Mac'n'Cheese and hamburgers. I ate one burger and started on the mac'n'cheese and then my belly screamed at me "ENOUGH". I had crossed the line. So I was done.

Somehow I managed to walk to the car. I let Heather drive. We needed to go to the grocery store to pick up dessert to take to Ms. Cheryl's and hit up Starbucks. I started to panic walking into the store. The desserts were so far away. I joked around that maybe I would need to ride one of the motorized carts. And I really did stand there and look at it for a little while. I hobbled over and we found cream cheese frosted brownies. YUM. My rule for race weekend is that after the race I can eat what I want. For the weekend only.

When we got back to the house I immediately filled the jacuzzi tub and hopped in. I pruned. And then I got out and took a hot shower because I had stayed in so long that the water had gotten cold.

The rest of the afternoon I sat on the chair with my feet up. The swelling went down and I was quite happy. I still hobbled over to Ms. Cheryl's. She was making Mexican! 

When we got there she had appetizers and I sat myself on the bar stool and had at it. Summer sausage and cheese. Chips and bean dip. Yum. She even made Hungry Girl margaritas. Oh holy heck that was delicious (gonna need the recipe). When it came time for dinner I had two tacos and a side of rice and beans. I thought for sure I would have seconds, but I seemed fine. And then I inhaled 3 brownies. ARGH.

A couple of hours later my legs and feet were screaming. Having them dangle on the bar stools was NOT a good idea. I was in pain. It was time to go.  Falling asleep was not hard. I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

So today we had planned on stopping at Arby's on the way home. Heather had a coupon and I wanted a peppermint milkshake. I got my beef and cheddar and felt fine after I finished it. And then I started on the milkshake. And then it got ugly. My belly was starting to freak out. I had over done it. Basically, I had cheerios for dinner tonight.

As I write this I am sitting on a heating pad hoping that my sore sore butt will feel better.  My feet are up and I'm doing well. I finished.  Oh and I got the email that my time was actually a couple of minutes less than what was on the clock when I crossed. And Kristin said that her pedometer and a bunch of other people's were registering that the course was .4 further than it should have been. So if you factor all of that in, my time was equal to the Philly Rock'n'Roll time. So if my legs hadn't tightened up  I would have had an even better time.  That makes me feel better.  But, it's not always about what time I finish. Sometimes it's just about finishing.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

ho Ho HO it's Random Wednesday!

It's Random Wednesday Y'all! ho Ho HO

Alright so I did something on Monday. I held off picking up something at the library on Saturday so that I would have an excuse to go to the old gym and hopefully see Gym Crush 1. I got there really early, but that's okay because he was generally well into a run by the time I would get there. I got on the treadmill and tried to focus, but I was a mess. My eyes kept darting all over looking for him.

My plan was Treadmill for 60 then the butt machine (since my new gym doesn't have the same one). Well 35 minutes in I saw him come in and head over to the free weights. My body reacted and the next thing I know I am sitting on the leg press right next to him. Facing him. I should NOT be doing this my brain is screaming: What about your foot????  Screw the foot, he's HOT.

I killed it on the leg press (50lbs more than usual...yeah!) and then I walked over to the wall for some wall squats. I would be facing him again, but now he could see me fully. I would get in my squat formation and my head is screaming "LOOK AT MY THIGHS AND BUTT MISTER!  Come on grab a quarter and start bouncing it off of them!" mouth stayed shut though.  I really need to get up the guts to say something...especially since I caught him looking a couple of times. *will be going back next Monday


So yeah, my thighs and butt look great, but that was really really REALLY Dumb!  My foot only hurt walking down stairs before that.  Now it hurts when I'm on stairs, walking, sitting, foot up, etc. ARGH. And so tonight I rest it. No gym. I will use the night to finish some Christmas projects.


Did you hear someone squeal with delight last night? That would have been me. As I was leaving the new gym I saw a BBQ place on the next block. I was soooo excited. For any guy interested, the key to my heart is BBQ!  So I got super excited and then realized I am screwed. I will have to reserve this for special occasions.  Like maybe if I break through a gym plateau or something. Or if the day of the week ends in 'day'...


Okay, so I am starting to lose my mind. Remember my: If you buy it, you will eat it rule.  Well I am not buying it because I would be eating it!  Holidays are stressfull. I WANT CHOCOLATE!


So last night at the gym I went a little heavy on the chest weights after my boobs got squashed earlier in the day. Push-ups and chest presses are great and free boob lifts. My little pal Cas asked me if there was anything that would make them bigger. Sadly, no (although I'm willing to donate to anyone who wants some bigger ones), but lifting is good!


I have not stepped on my scale in months. I think it's time. I am thinking Friday is a good day.


So the Half Marathon is this Saturday and I have a lot of things running through my mind about it. I'll be honest, this is the first one that I am not super excited about. The weather is going to be beautiful. I should be ecstatic. I am super scared about my foot. I know that I will finish. I'm good with that. I just want to know that I will be able to walk afterwards.  And I'm talking for weeks after.

I'm staying at my dad's or the weekend, but I won't be staying in my usual room. It's on the second floor and I'm not comfortable having to go up and down the steps repeatedly.  Just thinking about it right now is making me cringe.

I am trying to figure out which pair of sneakers will be my best option. And right now I have no idea. No matter what pair I put on my foot feels super tight and swollen 30 minutes in.

I will be picking up some purple tape to wrap it in. I like to be fashionable.

Oh yeah, so last night I think we all know that I was all over the hydro massage bed. My legs were super uber tight after Monday night's "Hey Gym Crush, check out my ass!" workout. So I got in the bed and was able to localize the massage to my legs and butt only. Ten minutes of HEAVEN! I felt so good after.  I will need to go back tomorrow night for one last massage.

So the other stress from the Half is that last year it was my focus. I worried about how I would fair once it was over because next up was Christmas.  I ended up taking almost the rest of the month off and I got frustrated with myself.

I know that won't happen this year because I have the gym and gym buddy lisa...and gym crush to motivate me, but I have got to cut back so that I can get some things done before the road trip to Florida. 

I need to get smart and write out my schedule.  I need to make my list of what still needs to be done and when can I do it. The rest of the time I am working out.

It's time to start thinking about New Year's resolutions. I've done pretty well with last year's. I did not go to fast food places. I started new workouts.

So now these are the 3 that I have come up with for 2013:

1-learn how to make hummus

2-Keep to a weekly yoga schedule


Have a Blessed Night My Friends,

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Squashing my Boobs

Happy Tuesday Bleeps!

Okay kids, it's Boobie time.

So last month or so we got the email at work to sign up for free mammograms on site. Immediate first thought: Free? SWEET!  Then came the second thought: squishing my boobs...ugh!

I did not immediately sign up. There were a few factors involved. One, I was not sure if that was going to be a day I was in the office. Two, wasn't sure if I would still have my period (and did not want to be squishing my already tender boobies). Three, just don't get a warm fuzzy image and that always makes me hesitant.

Well it turns out that I was in the office today. They still had some spots and after some pestering from dear Miss Carol I signed up. I took the earliest spot possible because I didn't want to think about it any longer than I had to.

So now here I was sitting at my desk thinking about it.  It's a lovely day so I wore a dress...that means I'm practically going to need to get naked in a conference room at work. When I woke up this morning I was not anticipating a stranger seeing me naked in this lighting...standing up!  GRAVITY IS NOT MY FRIEND!  I mean thankfully I wore nice underwear at least.  Seriously, I would have done a lot more chest weights last night to at least perk them up a little instead of my leg workout if I had realized I was doing this.

So I'm sitting here getting anxious about my naked body and then I start thinking about what they are going to do. I have a whole heckofalotta boob to be squishing. I kept hoping for a fire drill, but it never happened.  And soon it was my time.

Luckily, she said that I could just pull my dress down to my waist and put the paper smock on. Although I'm not really sure why that is necessary at that point. Who are we kidding, it wasn't covering anything up. No need to be modest.

They ask you to remove your deodorant and I had a panic. Um...I don't have any with me and if I take it off it's going to be an ugly night at the gym!  But, they had some spray to put on after. It's not my brand, but it'll do.

So I standing there with a napkin covering one boob while she is positioning the other on the tray that she is about to smash it into when she tells me that since this is digital it is less compression. My boob is just flopping around on the tray like a piece of chicken getting tenderized. I wanted to ask if they had a scale and could weigh them but before I knew it she put the clamp down and I was up on my tip toes (this is not meant for short people by the way) and feeling like a car is rolling over my boob.

Once she unclamps it (and I'm pretty sure it's longer now) I get to cover up the right side with the napkin and reveal my left boob. Oh this is just so much fun! 

The fun doesn't end there my friends.  Next we covered the left back up and pull the right one back out for the side view. Only to follow up with my left side view.

So before each boob was squished she did something to my nipple. I didn't look. But, when I went to change for the gym tonight I saw a sticker with a little metal prong on it on my nipple. I have no idea where the other one went. But,  I am glad I didn't have to go through a metal detector afterwards. I can't even imagine having the wand "BOOP" over my boob.  Oops.

All in all, it wasn't too horrible. I can handle the squashy part (although I will be doing some push ups tonight to get them back into shape).  It was the anxiety over a stranger seeing my naked body and squashing around my boobs like a piece of meat (and not in the good way!).  It needed to be done and now I have my baseline.  

Thank goodness I lost that weight!  I can't imagine how much more uncomfortable this would have been with them two sizes bigger!  And since they were so abused today I shall try and treat them to a new bra soon.

Feel your boobies!

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Monday, December 3, 2012

Massage, Tiny Earrings, and my Stupid Sprain

Hello Beautiful People,

Okay well once again my weekend got away from me. So let's recap.

Saturday morning I woke up and put my workout clothes on. And then it was off to work.  I'm just getting used to this longer commute and I had to do it on a Saturday too. Boo. Anyway, I was out of the office by 10:30ish and since I was close to it went to the gym I really had no choice.

I was super tired and really just wanted to sleep, but I was on the phone with my mom on the way and she pointed out "you can sleep after."  She's right, so I headed over.

I needed a good distance. The Half Marathon is a week away. So I hit the treadmill. I am going to be honest, I don't like running on Saturday mornings. Why? Because I am facing straight ahead and forced to watch kids shows on TV. I cannot stand Doodlebops and Lazy Town makes me want to hurt someone.  So I should have just read and walked, but I decided to run a little. I was feeling good for the most part.  Not great, but okay.

I put in my 6 miles and started to head back to the locker room.  That's when I saw it. I don't know how I missed it all week. The Hydro Massage Beds!  Can it be????  So I went to the desk and asked about it. They are available to black card members for free. That's me!  I went in to check it out.

I used to LOVE going to the mall in Charlotte for a water massage. It was a little weird, but it felt so good. You would lay on your belly and the lid would come down and cover you. Then the water hoses would move up and down your body. There was a liner so you would not get wet. OH I felt so good after. Although I was always self concious that everyone walking by was watching my butt jiggle.

Well these massage beds have you laying down on your back and the water shoots up from the bottom. Even better!  Plus, it's in a private room. No need to be claustrophobic AND no one is watching my butt jiggle.  Man, I used to pay for those a couple times a month. I can't believe that these are free. I can even go at lunch...YEAH! 

I felt all nice and refreshed when I got in my car. I wasn't sore or anything. Of course when I was in my car I realized that I did not have any of my protein bars with me. BAH!  They were in my gym bag and since I came dressed for the gym I didn't bring it. I have a 30-45 minute drive home and it was after lunch time and I had just run 6 miles. I was ready to cry.

I stopped at Starbucks, Surprise!, and got the roasted tomato and mozzarella panini with an iced green tea. Ahhh. It held me.   Then I immediately went home for a shower.   I was still feeling pretty good until I realized that after the shower I had been sitting on the edge of my bed in a robe with my wet hair in a towel for 45 minutes watching a Christmas movie on Lifetime or Hallmark like my life depended on it.

I snapped out of my zone and got dressed. Then it was off to the new Super Walmart for some groceries. I was still a little hungry and I veered from my list. But, I got things for the rest of the month so it was okay. Originally I had added a few "quick" items, but I eventually put them back (a soup, a chicken hamburger helper, microwavable popcorn). What I did get was a bunch of stuff for chili, oatmeal, spinach and tomatoes for a salad, yogurt, mozzarella sticks, and peanut butter.

I also go a few Christmas presents. And a little something for me. The night before I had picked up a pair of workout pants because I only have 4 to rotate through and if I don't get laundry done during the week I'm in trouble. They didn't have the color I wanted in Medium so I got a Large figuring they are supposed to be "body hugging" and they couldn't be that bad. Oops. They were too big!  So I found a different type of pants in Medium, but they are longer so I need to hem them, for $12 less. Woo woo.

I also went looking at the earrings. It's winter and for some reason the earrings I am wearing catch on my scarf every time I put it on. And I wear scarves every day in the cold. So I found a 9 pack of these tiny little earrings. They aren't super special, but they are cute and for $5 they fit my budget right now. They are also unlike any earrings I ever got before. They are so small. I never had small before because I felt like they made me look even bigger. I would dare say that I would call these Dainty. It's a whole new world when I am looking for tiny jewelry :-)

Okay, so when I got home there was a lot of going up and down the stairs. Can you guess where this is going?  The running completely aggrivated my sprain. I wanted to cry every time I walked down the steps. I may have done more damage to it trying not to put any pressure on it.  I practically put a hole through my lip biting it so that I would not scream. So there you have it, my training for Saturday is done. I will walk the full 13.1 and hope that doesn't do any further damage. Any running is out of the question. It hasn't healed in 2 months so goodness only knows how much longer it's going to take now.  ARGH!  I just want to finish, it's not worth further injury to improve my time.  There will be plenty more of them in my future.

So Sunday was busy too. I went to church, had choir, returned my 'large' pants, and on my way home got the text that my friend Bibble, her nickname from our college years, was at Starbucks studying and had two tables. I was an hour away, but man I wanted to go.

I wanted to grab my textbook, but I would only be there for an hour and I really need to hunker down with it for a few hours to get back in to the swing of things. Besides, I needed to start my Christmas cards. I have so many things from my "To Do" list running through my head constantly that I can't enjoy my workouts. I got some of my cards done and then came running home to start my Chili. Dang it! I had forgotten about that.

Okay, so fast forward to after I make the chili, prepare my lunch for the next day, then eat dinner.  I desparately needed to attend to my feet. They have been so dry and calloused for so long. So I soaked them for the sprain and then scrubbed some of the callouses off. I couldn't take them all off because of the Half, but man they feel refreshed and were very thankful.   Scrubbed feet are Happy Feet!

Have a Blessed Night My Friends,

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Friday, November 30, 2012

It's not Random! Just feels like it.

Hello Beautiful People,

Alright, I'm just going to start with the good stuff. Today I went out to lunch with Ms. Barb, Ms. Tracey, and another coworker. We had been planning it for a few days. YEAH!  Well I knew where we were going and I know that I don't always tend to make the right decision there. Sure, the food is awesome and I am never unhappy with my choice, but I also know that I could make smarter options some of the time. For the most part I will get the sandwich or salad on the "Lighter side". That uses lower fat ingredients. However, sometimes I forget to use the term "lighter side" or just choose something different altogether.

Knowing that I would probably make a bad choice I went online and looked at the nutritional menu. It always amazes me the calories and sodium that can be in some stuff. What the heck?  Be careful. Just because it's a salad does not mean it's the best option. Watch what is being put in it. There was one salad that was 800 calories and 1500mg of sodium...WHAT?

I picked the chipotle lime chicken salad. I told Ms. Tracey that yesterday and told her that I was not allowed to change my mind. She had my permission to slap me if I started looking at the menu when we got there. I had even considered writing down what I want and handing it to the cashier, but I was afraid they would think I was robbing them.

I stayed strong. I did look at the menu. And I really wanted the Turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce sandwich, but I didn't get it. I got my salad. It did not disappoint. It was very very good. YEAH!

Tonight for dinner, however, bah!  Peace a Pizza! That's the name of the place. It's one of my favorites. I always get a slice and a salad, but I could easily eat 3 slices. They are fun slices. My favorite is Eggplant Parmasean. They have a cheeseburger pizza and a macaroni name it and they'll put it on pizza.

Okay so that was the plan, but it closed! WHAT?  Luckily there's still one by work. Anyway, we ended up at Panera and I got my Pick 2. I got the french onion soup and the turkey cranberry panini.

And in case anyone was wondering, yesterday we took the left over frosted sugar cookies into the kitchen. Okay, to be more precise I had Ms. Tracey take the cookies into the kitchen after she, Ms. Kerri, and I each had one. The floor around my desk is littered with smashed sprinkles. Those suckers just did NOT stay on the cookies!

I wanted to talk about food today because I am starting to stress over the upcoming month. I'm booked solid. This means that I sense some poor choices are going to be made because "I don't have time".  Argh. I will need to sit down this weekend and plan out my eating schedule for the month. It sounds crazy, but I already have one week when I have 1 pot luck and then 3 lunch dates. DANG. I can't eat out that much! Serenity Now!

I need to go grocery shopping this weekend and I made sure to put Chili ingredients on my list. I will have to make a batch on Sunday for my dinner for the week.

This is starting to feel like a Random Friday haha, but I'm sticking to a food theme. Last night I was on the treadmill reading and making it a light night (foot has started to bother me again dang it!). I started reading a Jenny McCarthy book. It's short and funny. I figured it would be fun. It is funny and a bit raunchy, but I got to this chapter she wrote about Periods *boys feel free to go visit ESPN.COM now...see you tomorrow*. I don't know if this is true, but she said that she had read that your metabolism increases when you have your period and that's why you are so hungry during that time. She talked about how if you eat right during that time you may actually lose weight by the time it's over. I have had some where I have done that, but just figured that I was smaller because I was bloated for a week. Who knows, but someone has hers right now and feels like she could eat a house right now. Just sayin! On the plus side, she won't have it for the race next weekend...Hallelujah!

Quickly, while I'm talking about the book let me tell you a funny story. I was on the treadmill on the aisle. If you are going anywhere on the lower level of the gym you have to walk by me. No big deal...usually. So there I am casually reading the book. Like I said, it's short. It's even shorter because every few chapters includes a cartoon. They weren't that bad, but then I get to this one chapter about porn *DISCLAIMER: it was not a porn chapter, just about men and porn * and the cartoon is a picture of her as a dominatrix.  My hand FLEW to cover it up while I finished reading the page. All I kept thinking was "what the heck is anyone thinking if they see me as they walk by?"  I'm a good girl. Really I Am! 

Okay kids, I have to work in the morning. No, you got that correct. Tomorrow is Saturday, but I have to come in for the morning. Oh boy. So I shall call it a night.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Thursday, November 29, 2012

My Christmas Wish List - Health & Fitness Style

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

So have you started your holiday shopping?  I shall challenge you to think Health and Fitness this year for giving and receiving. 

All year long I think of things that I want to put on my Christmas list. And then when it comes time and someone asks what I want I freeze. I feel like Ralph in A Christmas Story when he blanks out when Santa asks what he wants.

Well it's easy this year. I want my Personal Trainer certification at the beginning of the new year. I'm going to need equipment.

Last year I asked that no one give me candy. I still got a few of the usual items (mint andes candies and a bar of peppermint bark), but for the most part things calmed down. Don't be afraid to put that out there now. Let people know. I love christmas cookies and chocolate as much as the next person, but I will ask you again right now to please not give me any.  Shoot, if that's your gift to everyone I would ask for a card instead. You can even write in it: "My gift to everyone else is a tasty treat. My gift to you is the avoidance of temptation."

Here is my Christmas Wish list:

* Resistance Bands
* Underarmour ankle socks
* Itunes gift card
* Massage
* Yoga Blocks
* Jump ropes
* Bob Harper Book: The Skinny Rules
* Kettle bells
* Medium petite yoga pants (Target)
* Reebok Realflex Size 7
* Stop watch
* Subway Gift Card
* Healthy Cookbooks
* Core ball
* Hula Hoop
* Core Foam Roller
* Medicine ball
* Bosu Balance Trainer
* Reebok Balance Board
* Equipment bag
* Free weights of all sizes (to keep in my car for clients)
* Rock'n'Roll USA Half Marathon Registration :-)
* Skinny Girl Peach Margarita
* Shape or Fitness Magazine subscription
* Hungry Girl Cook books
* Bath and Body Works: Twisted Peppermint lotion (soothing on my sore muscles)
* A call from Tony Stewart

Here are some items that you can put on your list or buy for others.  And feel free to steal from my list too.  Now let me preface this by saying, if you are giving this as a gift, please be sensitive about it. Don't go getting a gym membership or workout dvds for all of your overweight friends. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings with a gift. These ideas are meant to motivate not hurt anyone's feelings.

* Stability Ball
* Yoga Mat/DVD
* Pedometer
* Water bottles
* Gym Bag
* Sneakers
* Push up bars
* Gym membership
* Zumba membership
* Race registration fee
* Bicycle
* Weight lifting belt
* Weight lifting gloves
* Hand warmers (for the winter walks)
* Froggtogg (to keep you cool)
* Karate lessons
* Sports earphones
* ipod/mp3 player
* Workout Dvds
* Workout journals
* Basketball
* Tennis Racquet/balls
* Football
* Soccer ball
* Swim goggles
* Baseball/Softball bat
* Ice Skates
* Roller blades
* Lunch bag (so that you can prepare your lunch and skip going out so often)
* Heart Rate monitor
* Stepper
* Gift card to Sporting goods store
* Just Dance games
* Crockpot (for the gift of time and healthy chili)
* George Foreman Grill
* Crate of Oranges

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

WOO WOO Random Wednesday

WOO WOO it's Random Wednesday!

So there was an article today that held my attention.  Did you hear about the controversy over this plus-sized mannequin?

Some of the reactions to it made me sick.  Some made me sad. And looking at it made me question whoever designed it. It reminded me of the man with the shrunken head in Beetlejuice.  It was like they inflated every part of a regular mannequin except the head.

There were some positive comments from those who feel that finally they are being recognized and will now know what the clothes actually look like on their body type.  One person commented that fat people are finally being treated as "real people".

There were also some negative comments. Some expressed fear that "obese would become the new normal." And one commented about fat people not taking responsibility for themselves.

When I start to think about this stuff my head hurts. On the one side, I've been the Fat Girl. I know how it feels when people make fun of you. I know what it's like not to want to go shopping because none of the mannequins look like you. I know what it's like to feel like people are judging me.  It HURTS.  Things might have been different for me if the perception of Fat wasn't so negative.  Perhaps it would not have been a vicious circle of unhappiness and self sabotage.

And then I sit on the other side now. I certainly don't look at fat people with horror. I do get angry when I see a large person eating a meal that could feed a small family, but I also look past that and see the unhappiness.  I just want people to be healthier. I want people to believe in their physical capabilities.

So the good news is that with all of my napping and sleeping over the holiday, I finally gave my shoulder the rest that it needed. Ironically, I think the knitting and computer work would have continued to aggrivate it. Thank goodness I didn't get to work on my To Do list at all!  I realized on my drive home on Sunday that it was no longer sore and that it had not been sore in several days.
Score 1 for Rest!
Have you seen the new James Bond movie yet?  One of my favorite parts was watching him run. Te he. He would haul ass in his suit and dress shoes.  Perhaps with all of their secret gadgets they have created a dress shoe that actually runs like a sneaker. And then I thought: How cool would it be to have a James Bond 5K? Have everyone dress up like 007 or one of the way cool chicks (Ms. Asskicker herself Eve Moneypenny).  I think it can be done.
I tried googling for it, but all I get are James Bond movie marathons. So if you know of any that happen please let me know. I would like to come watch. (

The frosted sugar cookies are still sitting in my locker. Bah! I have not taken them out to the kitchen for the office to eat. But, I also have not eaten them myself.


Today I have officially changed my Home Gym location. It made me sad. I love the new gym, but I miss Gym Crush 1. So I ordered a book on cd from the library (still haven't joined the one right down the street from the new place). I will just have to go to the old gym when it comes in and I have to pick it up...come on Gym Crush 1!  Please be there!


Last week at the gym, Gym Buddy Lisa was telling me about some ignorant comments someone from her high school had made on Facebook.  It was right after the Philly Marathon and they were commenting that the fat people should not be allowed to register because they hold up traffic. And then it turned into a feeding frenzy with everyone jumping on and agreeing.

WHOA!  Hold the phones there bucko.  First of all, do a little research before you open your mouth and make such a stupid statement. There is a pace time cut-off. If you fall below that pace the van will pick you up. The organizers only get a set amount of time. And it doesn't matter how much you weigh, if you fall behind that pace you get picked up. That means skinny people too.

Second of all, shut up!  Someone is out there trying to improve their life and there you sit judging them based on their weight. SHAME ON YOU! 

Anyone who is out there should be applauded not ridiculed. It's even harder for anyone overweight competing because of the extra weight they are carrying. I would like to think that I will be like Flo Jo once I lose the rest of the belly.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Cookie Monster!

Hello Beautiful People!

It's Snowing!  I do love me some snow...but I love it more when I don't have to work.

So last night was book club night. The book of the month was "Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea." Very funny...very raunchy, but very funny.

Before we discuss the book we always stand around and eat snacks. This is my third meeting and when I started I vowed that I would bring healthy options. I have failed for three meetings. The first one I brought apple cider. The second one I brought unbelievably delicious scones from the food show. And last night I brought frosted sugar cookies.

Now for each meeting I have made sure to go somewhere for dinner before it so that I am not arriving on an empty stomach. I have since learned that they don't eat dinner first because there are so many goodies to choose from.

The problem for me is that even if I arrive full, I still WANT. I see those pastry puffs and melt. I smell that cheesy garlic bread and my mouth waters. I see those chocolate covered oreos and my brain turns to mush.

I try to keep it to portion control. But, I start to go a little nutty. The new fit and healthy me is screaming "Come on!  It's time to move to the seating area to discuss the book. Let's get away from this food."  And then the Former Fat Girl is sitting there like a pig in mud "Oh take your time ladies...I'm just going to enjoy another puff and some of these chips over here."

I can look at bringing my treats two different ways. One, is that I am a total failure. BAH.  The other is that it is a cheat day and if I plan for that it's okay. Normally I would go with the second, but it's hard to look at it that way the monday after Thanksgiving.

I even rationalized it as: well I had to make a quick stop for some food on my way home from the beach. I didn't have time to prepare anything. And that's crap. I could have gotten carrots and hummus. I know there will be plenty of treats there, so why did I have to bring another one that I KNOW that I would take home and finish eating if there were any leftovers?  ARGH! So frustrated with myself on this one.

So what do you think happened? I brought them in to work. I HAD planned on putting them in the kitchen and walking away from them...but that did not happen. Instead I offered them to some coworkers and then hoarded them for myself. I believe I ate 4 today. There is no excuse for that! And on top of that, we are skipping the gym tonight because of the weather. BAH!

Next month our meeting is a cookie themed meeting too. I will NEED to bring some veggies for that one.  And carrot cake cookies don't count.

I get so mad at myself. Other people can lead a normal life and not obsess about this...but, not obessessing about it in the right way is exactly what got me to 200lbs in the first place. As least now I have another side battling the sneak and binge eater.

Right now though I am feeling all sorts of craziness. Holidays. Winter. Race. Travel. Not studying. New Gym. Unpacking. My goal for the rest of the year is not to lose weight, but to just maintain. It's the only sanity I can see.

Before I go, let me just share my fun moment of the day. Today I put on a sweater than I haven't worn in a year, maybe two. When my friend first gave it to me 6 years ago it was skin tight. I thought it was super flattering then. Well I looked at myself in the mirror today and it's way baggy on me now. It doesn't quite have the WOW factor that it used to have. I shall keep it for this winter, but I think it's time to part with it in the Spring. Wow..I never thought I would say that about this sweater. It was one of my favorites.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.