Okay, so I know I joke around that I was going back to the old gym because I am stalking Gym Crush 1, but that's not really true. He's just a perk. I do love my new gym, but there has been so much change in my life over the past couple of months that I crave the comfort of the old gym. I know the people. I know the machines. It's like my gym version of mac'n'cheese.
It's hard. In order to get from The Former Fat Girl to where I am now, that totally meant shaking things up and stepping out of my comfort zone. It meant changing everything from what I ate to how I spent my free time. And I did it! I did it well. And now here I sit looking for the comfort zone at the gym.
One of my problems is that I workout out of habit. I need to switch things up more. I need to shake them up. Your body gets used to something and will adjust. That's when you plateau and makes it that much harder to lose the weight.
Right now I am adjusting to the new place, the new longer commute, the holidays, the new weekend schedules. It's a lot to adjust to. Don't get me wrong. I love the new place. I do. I love the new area. I am tolerating the commute (listening to a lot more books on cds). I love Christmas. And my weekends were never normal to begin with. It's just a lot all at once.
When I moved to Charlotte in 2004 it was the weekend after Thanksgiving. That was a huge change right during the holiday season. I LOVED moving there, but I didn't handle it the best way. I was not working out and I was just plain eating. That's how I handled stress. And so with all of the changes that I am dealing with right now my urge to eat and binge has never been higher.
I spend a lot of time in my car and I hear that voice "Just pull over and stop here for food. You are by yourself. No one has to know." I have pretty much resisted that voice, but it's getting stronger. Sneak eating was one of my favorite things to do. It was like a secret rush. Calories don't count if no one else knows right? Oh please, like I was worried about calories back then? What I was worried about was what people would think if they knew how much I ate. I still do. The secret shame of eating is horrible! You get that initial high from the food and then immediately crash because you don't want anyone to find out and you get paranoid that someone is going to see the trash and KNOW WHAT YOU DID! To this day I still hide my wrappers even if no one is around.
Going to the old gym last night was like putting on a pair of old worn slippers. My brain sighed with relief. I'll take that as a good sign. My body is mentally reacting to working out. It's craving it. And so I will continue to go back to the old gym one night a week just for my sanity right now. But, tonight I hit the massage bed...ahhh.
I was so happy for that massage. One of the changes is that my workout times are now reduced to 30-60 minutes depending on the traffic I hit on my way. Previously I could stay for 90 minutes if I wanted to. I lived 10 minutes away. Now it's 35-45 minutes from home. This gym is only 9 miles from work, but with rush hour traffic it takes 25-45 minutes to get there. Tonight there was a disabled vehicle in the construction lanes. It took me 45 minutes to get there. That cut my workout time to 45 minutes and that included the 10 minute massage. My workout was 30 minutes. Argh.
Alright, so today was Potluck day. How do you think I did? First let me tell you all that was on the menu:
Hoagie tray from Subway
Chick-fil-A nugget tray
Buffalo chicken casserole
Beer Bread and dip
and my Veggie Tray
Okay, the first thing I put on my tray was veggies. And then I took a slice of the hoagie. And then a couple spoonfuls of the Mac'n'cheese. I think a piece of chocolate got thrown on there. I took a few pieces of the chicken nuggets. And then I had to have the buffalo chicken casserole. I HAD to!
I felt content when I finished. I could have stopped there. If I had left the building and walked away I would have been fine. But, I think that just knowing that food is 20 feet away is my problem. I WANT more even if I'm not hungry. And so I went back. But, I only got more vegetables, a spoonful of mac'n'cheese and a couple of cookies. I made sure that the veggies took up half of my plate.
I could have been better. I could have just had the chicken and the veggies. But, I could have been a lot worse.
Before I go, let me just say that I always get mad that I pay so much for the veggie tray. I could save money if I made it myself, but I always think "I have no tray to put it on". So add to my Christmas list a tray or platter with a lid for veggies :-)
Have a Blessed Night my friends.
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