Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Living in Constant Fear and the Holidays aren't Helping

Hello Beautiful People,

The good news is that my anxiety is subsiding. I can breathe right now. YEAH! I got my oil changed last night and I got permission to work from home Friday. This way I can finish my laundry and pack my car on my lunch hour. I can hit the road at 5pm sharp!

I'm feeling so good that I was actually able to sit and read at lunch. I got an unexpected bonus hour on Sunday and tried to relax at Starbucks with my book and I couldn't focus. Me?  I am the girl that can read a book in the middle of a hurricane. It takes a lot to distract me.

Reading at lunch was good. We tried walking at the mall yesterday during lunch, but it's getting a little too crowded.  So I knew my butt would be getting to the gym tonight. I did not get the workouts this weekend that I had hoped and my piddly little mall walk yesterday was all I got. I don't like this at all.

I know that my body is tired. I know that my body is injured. I know that it's the Holidays. I know that I'm super busy. I know that I have lots to do. But, the Former Fat Girl could always come up with an excuse. She is super excited right now.

The less active I am the more my body craves rest. I had a meeting with my manager today and we were sitting in the comfy chairs that like to read in. He asked me how my race was and then when I went to stand up I was moving slowly. I didn't even realize until he asked if I was okay. The more I sit, the more my legs stiffen. So now I am worried. I am driving to Florida this weekend..um...We are definitely going to make a bunch of stops to stretch my legs and that's just going to lengthen the trip. I like to have a 3 hour minimum before I stop, but I think it may be closer to 2.

So I got my butt to the gym tonight. I grabbed my book and got on the treadmill. I am still banning myself from running until 2013.  The book is a good incentive to stay walking.  My other trick for myself was to not put my hair up. I can't run if my hair is down and in my face.   I was feeling good though so I increased my speed for my walk. I was up .2mph for my reading pleasure. I was just short of jogging. I'm not sure I could jog and read so this was good.

I wanted some Abs time, but I really wanted some hydro massage bed time.  Can you love an inanimate object?  I think I am in a relationship with this bed. GAH! My body feels so good after just ten minutes. My shoulders are relaxed. My lower back is not sore. My legs are refreshed. I get all giddy when I sign in for my turn. I am thinking of naming it Henry.  He makes me so happy!

On my way home I stopped in to Walmart to pick up some flavored water and my feet reminded me of something...those damn blisters have not healed. That's some more incentive not to run.

Right now I need to be smart. If I can't get my workouts in that I want, I need to at least stay active.  Even though my body enjoys the day(s) of rest, my mind is living in fear.  The more days that I am not burning calories during this season of tasty treats, the more I'm scared of gaining.  That is forever in the back of my mind.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

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