Tuesday, April 30, 2013

May: my make or break month

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Let's face it, May is going to make or break me.  I have so many things going on that I can't keep it straight. There are potlucks, dinners out, birthday festivities, mother's day festivities, races, Soccer games, studying, Challenge bootcamps, workouts, work...I'm tired just looking at my schedule.  Basically I am busy every weekend except Memorial Day weekend, and up until this past weekend I had something planned for that weekend too (now completely and utterly dedicated to studying).

June doesn't look much better. I have a baby shower (totally excited Kim!) and then my brother's family is coming up for a week (nephew snuggling!!!!!).  Then it's father's day weekend. Seriously, I have 2 free weekends between now and July.

I'm scared. I know I have the tools and the knowledge to survive. And I appreciate everyone who will either say "you'll do great" or "you deserve a break". Both are true :-) It doesn't mean I don't worry though.  All it takes is a couple of "oh just today"s to lose my ground.

I didn't want to participate in the Health and Fitness challenge this year for several reasons. The main being that I wanted all of my focus going towards studying.  I'm glad I'm doing it though. I'm still sticking to my 5 day workout and keeping 2 days of rest. I may not win this year, but I am going to do my best to bust through my latest plateau.

Today Ms. Tracey and I went out to the front lawn and simulated last week's assessment. We altered it a little though. To warm up we walked one lap around the lawn which is a quarter mile. Then we did push-ups, squats (without weights), and plank. We finished with 3 laps: walk/run/walk.

The good news is that my plank and push ups increased. My squats increased too, but I had weights last week.  We didn't time our laps. I ran last night and had a lot of pain in my knee today during the running lap. Our focus for that was to just work on acclimating the knees to the uneven ground.

It was a good lunch.  We had gotten our numbers back and I was happy to see where I fell in a lot of the categories. My push-ups put me in the "Excellent" category...and that was without doing them in months :-)  My plank was "above average". I was good with that. It was still much higher than last year. My sit and reach was good. Thank you yoga!  And then came my mile time. "OK". Argh. It really sucks. I am not fast. I am getting steadier, but I am not fast. It sucks when people who barely walk can run faster than me. I am not conditioned for fast running though. I have to keep reminding myself that. I am working on faster shorter distances.

Last night I was running on the treadmill feeling really good about myself. I was matching the person next to me stride for stride. And then I saw her pace. She was a full 2.0 above me. I just don't have a long stride. I know that's not an excuse. There are plenty of short fast people, but I can't extend my leg fully and that holds me back too. So for all of you out there you don't think you can do races, my advice is pick fun ones. I don't like truly competitive ones. I am only ever in competition with myself, but I'm not having fun I'm not signing up again next year.

Okay, so that took a tangent. Back to my schedule. This Friday we have a Cinco De Mayo Potluck. I signed up to bring guacamole and vegetables. It is department wide so I am hopeful that the food will not be set up right by me. My plan for that day is to get my food, eat it at my desk, and then go outside for a walk or go to the store or something. I will not go back for seconds.

This weekend I have my CPR training, Philadelphia Union soccer game with former Work Husband Phil, and then a 5K Sunday morning. My food for Saturday will be eating out all day. I have to plan ahead. Sunday will be race then study all day. But, I always have a hard time focusing after. Perhaps I will plan on a nap (30 minutes only) and then study.

The following week is my birthday week. I will be going out to dinner and then going down to my Mom's for Mother's day weekend. We usually have a BBQ, but this year is an afternoon of appetizers. I'm going to need to request a menu...and plan a run or fitness center time.

The weekend after that is Girl's weekend at the beach. I'm excited and really scared for that weekend. We will be active, but I am worried about my food. I have so many places that I want to go. ARGH.

So on top of the worries of working out and eating, I am really worried about my studying. I am already a little behind. And I'm even more frustrated because the stuff I am studying now is stuff that I read with my old book. My retention for that is pretty much Zilch. So it's like I had to start all over again. I can't fall behind more, but when I push myself at a faster pace I don't really focus and don't do really well on the quizes and activies...which ticks me off. I start second guessing myself and change my answers when I should have left it alone. I want this sooooo bad, but I'm getting frustrated. I need more time!  I should take a week off from the gym and just study all week, but I need the gym to move me. I will lose my mind if I turn into a study blob. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Argh...

Is it Memorial day weekend yet?

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)


****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.


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