Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Wedding/Reception Part 2

Happy Tuesday Bleeps!

I was a little tired last night so I forgot a few things in the blog post.  So I will go over them before I give you something new.

Let's go back to the dress. It's a black and white Empire waist dress. The last time I wore it, it was Spanx city!  I had stuff sucking me in like nobody's business. This time, I did not.  And so I was in a panic every time I walked by my reflection.  Is the movement of walking pushing it against my belly and in turn making my belly stick out?  Nope, I was good. I would like to believe that there will be a day when I don't worry about this....some day...

Due to some unforeseen complications, the wedding started an hour late. That's okay though because we got to sit in the church and visit with our relatives. By the time we arrived at the reception for appetizers I had no interest in my family.  I just wanted the food. There is no pretending to be interested in what you're saying when I am focused on food. I have no recollection of any conversations that I may have had during this time. There was just a hum in my head and "Hey, what's that they just brought out of the kitchen?"  Because there were no repeats. Everything that came out was new.  And what if it was even better than what I just ate?  It would be a shame to miss that.

I think you all know how it feels to be sitting there when they call specific tables to go get their food. They do this for a reason.  There is no need to cause mayheim and madness when people can sit quietly and wait. But, what happens when they forget to call your table????  Seriously, I think this happens to me every time.  And believe me, I am watching them waiting for that call. They forgot us and sent every other table on our side. BAH!  Forget the sanity and order. You have to feed me now!!!

Once I finished eating I wanted to curl up in the fetal position under the table and just rock myself to sleep. My belly hurt. I ate too much too fast. I couldn't handle it. And this is the New Me.  Imagine how bad it would have been for the Former Fat Girl. She would not have stopped at one plate. There would be no dancing. There was food to be consumed. In all fairness, her stomach was a lot larger and could hold a lot more than I can now.

I would like to give a shout out to my mom.  She started Weight Watchers last month and really behaved at the reception. She limited her portions and kept to healthy options.  She even skipped the dessert bar.  And someone had placed a plate of desserts near her and she didn't even take a bite. She had her weight watcher bar in her bag for such an occasion. Go Mommie!

I don't know what the whole food thing was about for me. It's very out of character. I have worked so hard at being in control of my food situations...this is why I freak when it's not planned out. I don't exactly make the best decisions all of the time.  I know I reserved the day for my cheat day, but that wasn't cool. Is it from all of the stress?  Is it because being at weddings takes an emotional toll on me? I'd say it was a little of both.   I've mentioned the "if you buy it you will eat it" thing a lot recently.  Well I haven't been buying it because I KNOW I will eat it. So maybe this was just a reaction to a long surpressed urge for food.

Or maybe it's because I'm not with that special someone right now and that stresses me out too. And being there for this celebration of love is just a big reminder.  I know that I'm not exactly looking.  I don't exactly have a lot of free time on my hands right now. But, that doesn't mean that I don't want to find that someone soon. A date every now and then wouldn't be so bad.  I'm not getting any younger (a post on that is coming soon)...argh.  I am sure that was a big factor in the food issue.

Whatever the reason, I was a little annoyed at myself.  But, in the long run it could have been a lot worse. A LOT worse.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

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Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

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