Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Holla for Random Wednesday

Can I get a WOO WOO for Random Wednesday???  WOO WOO

Alright kids, today was a day of rest and I don't know what to do with myself. I took a half day so that I could go see my cousin play in a field hockey game.  I had never seen her play before and her school was up playing a college very close to me. Not gonna miss this!

So I took half a day and came home. I packed my gym back and my lunch for tomorrow.  I finished my Rock'n'Roll marathon scrapbook. And I hit up Starbucks for some study time before the game. Finished another chapter. Only three to go! WOO WOO. I did have my free drink card so I went for my Venti Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino.  Definitely my "treat" for the week.

The chapter that I finished was about teaching. One of the points was "Instruct the client to wait until he or she is ready to change before returning. Beginning an exercise program with an insufficiently motivated client increases the probability of poor outcome and the client scapegoating you or the probability of poor outcome and the client scapegoating you or the program."  This is soooooooo true. It frustrates me that the Former Fat Girl wasted so many years. You could talk to her until you were blue in the face, but it wouldn't make a difference. She wasn't ready. It was such a mental block.  Too much not believing in herself. Too much emotional attachment to food. She just plain was not ready even though she knew she was unhappy. She was afraid of failure.

Believe me when I say this is what I worry about most. There are soooo many people that I want to reach. I want to help them, but they aren't ready.  I try not to push because I know how they feel, but I want to help them sooooo bad.  It's something I struggle with daily. There are friends and family that I wish I could reach. I just have to be happy with the surprise friends and family that I wasn't expecting to reach.  It's just not their time yet...but I will be here for them as soon as they are ready!

So let's move to game time. I didn't exactly know where the field was so I was driving all around campus. I found a parking spot on a side street and saw some baseball players practicing. I figured they could point me to the field. It was a bit of a walk to get to them. But, they were so cute. They let me walk through their field and helped me. Also said I could stay and watch them if I got bored. haha. Oh what cute jail bait.

I sat in the stands and watched the teams play. I kept thinking about how much fun their lives are right now. They are all in great shape and in college. Halfway through the game the track team/Cross country team (not really sure which one) came out for practice. They only had one corner of the track to use and kept running back and forth. At one point they were hopping on one leg for 100meters. It was mesmerizing. I got excited watching them and then I got incredibly sad. Why wasn't this me in college?  Why was I such a slug? I can never go back and get that time back. It hurts. So many years wasted. I know that I should be happy that I am making all of the positive changes and that I am a whole new me, but that doesn't change the fact that I get angry with the Former Fat Girl.  ANGRY!  Then terribly sad for her. She missed out on so much.

After the game there was tailgating. Oh heck yeah! BONUS! The parents provide food for the team and I got to join in. I loved that Mic said "And it's healthy so you can eat it :-)"  It was. I had a wonderful salad and some fruit...and some killer potato salad (Thank you Aunt Sarah!!!!).  It was way better than the dinner that I had planned. haha.

And on that note, Sunday was chili Sunday.  It fit the budget. I had forgotten that I had a pack of deer burger in the freezer.  Now don't go ewww on me. I don't eat it all of the time, but it's grown on me. It does take some getting used to, but it's a lean meat so that's good. So all I had to buy were the beans and tomatoes. Chili Sundays have been very good for me budget and protein wise.  Gas wise...well not so much. Ugh.

So tonight when I got home I finally tried on a dress that I had been putting off. I wore it four years ago for my brother's wedding. I loved this dress. It was a tad snug then though. We actually had to use candle wax on the zipper to get it up. Well not anymore!  Not only did it zip, but it's a lot bigger in the boobie area than before. I'm not sure how I'm going to work this.  I'm super excited! And a little upset. I don't have the budget for a new dress. I have a wedding this weekend and it's on the formal side. My other option is the bridesmaid dress that I wore two years ago....I haven't tried that on yet. I think it's going to be a game day call. I'll keep you posted.

Alright kids, I am ready to call it an evening.

Have a Blessed Night my friends.

PS - I'm now on instagram: Jennie5973

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Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @hugsnsmile

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