Sunday, February 28, 2016

My Saturday: From Depression to the Cheesecake Factory

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

Well yesterday was a long long day. Luckily my early clients called me to reschedule.

I spent the day at church getting my Mental Health First Aid certification. It was 8 hours of very important information. It was also a very hard day to get through. Depression. Anxiety. Suicide. Schizophrenia. Bipolar Disorder. Alcohol abuse disorder.

Sitting and paying attention for 8 hours is a long time. Thankfully we had healthy snacks and lunch. There were beautiful fruit and veggie trays. I brought hummus and pita chips. We had soup and sandwiches and peach tea. It was delightful.  That was a bright spot.

The material was hard. Sometimes it made me think of friends and family who are dealing with these issues. It made me think of past experiences where I needed to calm down someone having a panic attack. It made me think of friends who have contemplated suicide and friends who have attempted it. And it made me think of my own depression.

During my last year of college my grandfather passed away right before winter break. I was extremely close to my Pop-Pop. That last semester of college was a blur. I was 6 hours away from my family. And you need to remember how old I am. The internet was just starting and we didn't have cell phones. You weren't in constant contact with everyone. My friends were busy getting ready for graduation. And I was barely able to function. I failed a class my final semester. I was able to walk for graduation, but I had to take a summer class. It worked out and I spent my summer interning in Washington DC at the Department of Commerce for credit. Yes, it was the Monica Lewinsky summer.

That whole semester was spent in a dark hole and eating away my pain. It is not my most favorite of memories from college. Whenever I think about that time my first impulse is to eat something.  Being a food addict SUCKS.

So yes, it was a joyful 8 hours. I am very glad I did it though. It is important information to have. More people need to be trained and educated about Mental health issues.  I am also glad that I went because someone made the most amazing ginger molasses cookies that I feel were laced with crack. I am obsessed with them. And I am the lucky girl who got to bring some home. O...M...G!

While I was there I was invited to join Ms. Marisol and a bunch of 20 somethings for a birthday dinner at...wait for it...Cheesecake Factory!  WHAT?  Twice in two weeks? I was not quite dressed for it and said I wouldn't be available until 5:30. That's okay because the rest would be there at 8. So I had time to run home and shower before going out.

I was freaking out a little though. I can't go that long before eating dinner. And I was emotional so I knew I probably wouldn't make good decisions. I was leaving at 7 and got a text that we had another 2 hour wait. Crap on a cracker. WHAT?

We didn't get seated until 9:30. I was secretly imploding. I'm usually in bed at this time. Our job was to check out the menu before we got seated so that we could order immediately. I looked at that menu for about 30 minutes. I was happy to see the skinnylicious menu. Basically, it was a lot of burgers and sandwiches with garden greens instead of fries. I kid. That was most of it, but there was more. I had originally thought I would get the turkey burger, but I didn't think I could handle that so late. On the specialties menu I saw a vegetable melt with garden greens. It sounded yummy. And it was, but I only ate half. I brought half home. I know what you're thinking. A melt means butter and cheese. You are correct. I was too tired and hungry to think that through when I was ordering.

You know they put bread on the table while we were waiting right? I somehow managed to hold myself to just 2 small pieces. It's a dang miracle....we didn't get food until after 10. It's a bloody miracle that I didn't pounce on tables around me for something to eat.

When in's called the CHEESECAKE don't skip dessert. You just don't!  Our table of 11 split 3 desserts though. There was one slice of red velvet cheesecake. There was a slice of white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. And there was strawberry shortcake. That was more cookie like with ice cream...o...m...g. I had a third of that.

What I didn't have was a diet soda to help me burp. I was miserable the entire drive home. I needed to burp or I was going to pop. It finally happened and I was able to sleep. It was a long day.

Have a Blessed Evening
****Please note****

 If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support. 
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