Sunday, September 4, 2011

Beach Trip part 2

Day two at the beach.

So last night I couldn't fall asleep. I was laying here trying to figure out what to do in the morning.  Do I go to 8am service at church then work out?  Do I get up at 8 and work out before the 10:30 service at church.  Do I sleep in and go to 10:30 then plan on working out later in the day?  I can't believe I focus on this so much, but I have to.  Because the alternative is that I will sleep in and then make excuses for the rest of the day.

I decided on 8am service then the work out because I wouldn't be rushing it then. I think we all know that after a day of laying at the pool I was NOT going to be hitting the gym after.  I'm not kidding myself.  I made the right decision.  I was able to enjoy my day knowing that I got my workout in.  And lets face it, it's a little easier to put that bathing suit on knowing I was on the treadmill for an hour.

Labor day weekend at the pool means one thing: Pool party.  There was going to be a gathering all day.  I had no idea what was going to be there foodwise and quite frankly I had a panic attack.  So on my way back from church I stopped for some carrots and hummus.  And before I headed over to the pool for the day I sat down and had a turkey sandwich on wheat.  I was feeling good.

I was at the pool for about an hour before the talk started.  Let's order pizza. BAH.  I'm trying to hide my head under the towel.  I've already eaten lunch. I do not need any.  But, you know it's going to smell good.  Maybe one slice won't hurt.  When it came I just played dead.  If I lay like a lump many chairs away from the pizza. Maybe it won't know I'm here. It's pretty sad when you are hiding from food.  But, it worked.  After a little while I got up and snacked on my carrots and hummus. I felt like I had conquered the world!

The only problem was, that when I came home I was starving...and a bag of coconut M&M's that I had bought night before were calling my name.  I didn't stand a chance.  I ate them.  And then I caught myself doing something that I have done my whole life.  I tried to hide the wrapper in the trash.  If no one sees it then I'm ok. It made me want to cry.  I'm so ashamed of myself for being so weak.  I should not even be ashamed of that.  It was one stinkin' bag.  But, it's a hard habit to break.

Before I knew it, it was dinner time again.  More burgers.  Yum.  But, this time I washed it down with a Margarita. I wish I could say it was a skinny margarita, but it wasn't.  Margaritas are my drink of choice.  But, now I am reduced to one only unless it is Skinny.

I'm going to give a shout out to the hostess, because she is convinced I will write about her. She's right.  Haha. But, it's a good thing.  We shall call her C.  C has been taking an exercise class and I'm totally intrigued because it's a class I've wanted to take. She's taking a pole dancing class and even has a pole in her sun room.  I insisted she show me some moves.  I was impressed.  I'm intrigued by the upper body strength and leg strength needed.  Needless to say I put on the shoes and took a picture.  Just about everyone in my address book got a copy. haha.  And I even got an invite back from someone to join her for a class.  I'm totally in.  Thanks C for the inspiration!

After the pole dancing I took the kids to Mini golf again.  And this time there was to be a trip to Candy Kitchen after.  Just kill me now.  Walking in is pure sugar heaven.  My nephew got a bag of gummie worms and Cassia got a bag of sour balls.  Me, I got fudge.  I'm sorry, but that is my beach weakness.  I only got one piece and I haven't eaten it yet.  So that's good I suppose. But, that's only because I got some soft serve ice cream too. 

In the car ride home they kept asking me "Do you have to put what you eat in the blog?"  I laughed and kept telling them that I don't have to, but it's important for me to be honest.  If I start to slip I want someone to call me on it.  I want to share with you the daily struggles I face because I know you face them too.

Today was filled with good and bad decisions.  I'm going to forgive myself because it could have been much worse and it is a holiday weekend.  I just have to make sure that the week ahead is full of good decisions.

PS - for those of you keeping track, I did not have any of the chocolate peanut butter pie last night :-)  I was a good girl

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

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