Saturday, October 15, 2011

"Do you really want it?" YES I DO!

Happy Saturday Beautiful People,

So much to tell you. I'll start with a recap of yesterday. I took another day off of working out.  I felt a little guilty since I had taken Sunday and Wednesday off too.  I had planned on walking at lunch, but I was asked if I wanted to go shoe shopping with a friend.  Um, yeah I do.  So I did.  I didn't get anything, but I took it as time to look at new sneakers.  I have a new wish list in case you are listening Santa :-) I tried on a pair of Ryka sneakers.  Have you tried them?  If you have please email me your thoughts (jhendersonfit@gmail.com).  I also tried on a pair of Asics that were awesome, but well out of my price range.  Dang it.

Anyway, when I got back to the office I almost made it the whole week without dipping into the dang pumpkin buckets of candy.  It got a little busy and I caved.  One Reece's Peanut Butter cup.  I can live with one, but Oh how I wanted to grab the bucket and run like the wind, find a corner, and eat every last piece.

I was invited to have dinner with Work Husband and his girlfriend.  Sending a big shout-out to work husband for making a healthy dinner :-)  Chicken kabobs, grilled veggies, and rice.  Oh tasty.  The plan was to watch a movie (Horrible Bosses - A MUST SEE!) after dinner.  It took a little while to make dinner so we amused ourselves with his X-Box Kinect games.  There was some bowling and some dancing.

If you aren't familiar with the Kinect games let me explain.  There is a sensor that faces you and recognizes your body.  It copies your silhouette and puts it up in the corner.  I had a startling revelation.  I had always considered myself like the Hawaiian Punch guy.  All round up top with small legs.  This silhouette was very flattering up top, but it gave me big hips.  I know the outfit I was wearing might have had something to do with it, but it was just strange.  I have noticed that my top has been thinning out. It almost looks like the fat is just traveling to the inner tube that I look like I'm wearing around my waist.  Bah.  It's on it's way out, but it's just hard to get used to.

When I got home I quickly got my stuff ready for this morning's walk.  I got my drink bottles ready, packed my energy snacks, and made my peanut butter sandwich to eat after the walk.  I was babysitting the god kids at 7:15 am this morning and was a little tired when I went out the door.  I forgot my sandwich :-(

I was only watching the kids for an hour or so and then heading over to the track.  Today was the big day.  I was going to try for the full 13.1 miles.  My knee had been bothering me all week and I wasn't sure if I could actually pull this off. The first 8 miles were pretty uneventful. Around the 8th mile the marching band came for practice.  That was kind of fun.  It was like I had my own private band.  haha.  As I got closer to the 10th miles I started arguing with myself.  Just get through 10 and you can call it a day.  No, don't do it.  You'll never forgive yourself.  You have nothing else planned today.  You will get really mad if you give up.  The best thing happened just as I started mile 11.  Matchbox 20's "How Far We've Come" came on.

I started to think about just how far I have come.  Wow.  I have taken control of my life.  If you introduced the former fat girl to the new me 10 years ago I would not have believed it.  I am a completely different person.  I look better.  I eat better.  I have more energy.  I love the new me.

I'm not going to lie.  While that song propelled me forward, mile 11 sucked.  My feet hurt.  My legs hurt.  I was really tired. My nose started to run. Bah! I was ready to give up at 11.  Afterall, that was my longest distance yet and not something to sneeze at.  And then I got to mile 12 and my ipod inspired me yet again.  Ricky Martin's The Cup of Life came on.  Do you know the words to that song?  It starts with "DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?  DO YOU REALLY WANT IT? DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?"  YES I DO!  I got chills and I started to cry a little.  I do really want it! I kept going.

And let's just put it this way, do you think I would have stopped at 12 miles?  NO.  I did it!  I finished the 13.1 miles! GO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I was beyond tired when I was done, but I didn't care.  I did it.  I still have two months before the race and I know for sure I can do this. I didn't even concern myself with lap times.  I just wanted to know that I could finish and I did.

I knew I had it in me, but there was always that self doubt that I couldn't do it.  I didn't believe in myself 100%. Now I do.  I got this!  I also got a bunch of blisters and some really sore feet.  haha.  Totally worth it though. Of course I had to alter my plans for the rest of the day (as I write this my feet are up and I'm considering writing a thank you letter to the advil people).

When you're inner self tells you that you can't do something, don't listen.  Believe in yourself. You're stronger than you think.

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facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

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