Happy Tuesday Bleeps!
So let's talk about some anxiety I had today.
A few weeks ago at work we got invited to sign up for Biometrics Screening. I wasn't going to do it, but I did. I have been putting it out of my head for a long time, but D-Day is next week. What is Biometrics Screening? Well let me tell you about it.
They will be screening:
*Height, Weight, Waist Measurement, and Body Mass Index.
That's what scares me...the Body Mass Index. Why? I don't know. I've worked my butt off. I am in incredible shape compared to where I started. I am extremely proud of my body, but I know there is still work to be done. I signed up for the screening because I wanted to see my cholesterol, blood glucose, and blood pressure. I've sort of been pushing the others out of my head.
Well today we got the email for the Fitness Competition. We will be put on teams and battle to the death. Just kidding. But, we will be competing against each other with nutrition and fitness. I did not sign up last year, but I signed up this year.
I did not sign up last year because I was still finding myself on my journey. I did not think I would respond well to being on a team. As competitive as I am, I still had a lot of personal battles to deal with. I did not know how I would deal with mental setbacks and how that would affect my team.
I have come a long way in a year. I have started this blog. I have opened myself up to the world. I have finished my first Half Marathon. I have done the Polar Plunge. I am about to register for the Susan G Komen 3 Day. I am not worried about set backs any more. I am Good!
So for the assessment they will be checking: Body weight, skin fold pinches, timed plank, pushups, squats, recovery heart rate (3 min step test), and a sit & reach test. *Insert sound of record scratching...Skin fold pinches????)
I have had anxiety ever since I read that. Seriously, test me on anything you want...except THAT! I literally burst into tears on my way to the gym thinking about that tonight. I am making so much progress. I am scared that any negative numbers or feedback will set me back.
I am really not saying this to ask for positive comments (although they are most certainly welcome). The reality is that 99 people could tell me how great I'm doing, but if 1 person says I'm fat that is what I'm going to dwell on. I know it's stupid. I know it's wrong. It just the reality that is my brain.
Tonight I was in the locker room with Gym Buddy Lisa (GBL from now on) and we were talking about it. She was trying really hard to be positive for me, but I just kept picturing myself breaking out into a run when they try to pinch me. Can you just see me running through the office screaming "You've gotta catch me first!" LOL. Oh I can see it happening. That's the scary part.
I'm going to be a big girl though and take it. Luckily or unluckily the screening and the assessment are within an hour of each other next week. So next Tuesday is either going to be a really good day or a horribly sucky one. Cross your fingers.
The bonus tonight is that I saw Gym Crush #1 for the first time since Valentine's Day. He almost got demoted to #3 it had been so long. GBL did not even know who he was. So when he came in I was screaming for her attention. I was also on my longest run on the treadmill (more on that tomorrow :-) and could barely breathe as I was trying to hold up my #1 finger for her. Lol. I was laughing so hard as she casually strode around the gym looking for him. She had no idea. When my time was up, and I smelled nice and ripe, I went looking for her. She happened to be on a leg machine facing him. I literally let out a growl. Seriously, what was I thinking? Demoting him? That was stupid. Boy brings out this animalistic response from me. Can you be higher than #1? Lol. Anyway, it was worth the wait. His arm workout was FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC! I was pleased. I actually skipped back from the trashcan with the wipes for the machine. It was a good night! Pinch me all you want!
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