Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Rollercoaster Tuesday

Hello Beautiful People!

Well today has been full of ups and downs. It's been a struggle today.  The highs were really high and the lows were really low.  There were lots of temptations and lots of struggles.  So here it goes.

I mentioned last night that I had a good run.  I did.  I was very excited.  I was happy when I woke up and ready to get this day going.  My gym bag was packed.  I should see Gym Crush #1 tonight.  Since I had the run last night I would focus on weights and elliptical tonight.

When I got to work I saw the email.  There had been mention of a possible Happy Hour this week because our client is in town.  The email says that it's tonight.  CRAP.  Do I go?  I have choir tomorrow.  If I go then that's two days in a row without the gym.  But, one of our guests is in from California (and she's been a great running supporter of mine) and the other from the Netherlands. I should go for a little while. Oh and it's at the bar with the fantastic soft pretzel appetizer.  Dang it.

So I won't be working out AND I'll be eating appetizers for dinner. Argh.  But, this is life.  Things come up and you have to make them work for you. 

One of the highlights of the day was getting an email from someone clear across the world asking for help.  This is why I write this blog.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  I am not an expert, but I have worked darn hard at disciplining myself and making the right decisions.  It amazes me how open and honest people are when they email me their stories.  Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger.  I hold back on certain things because I know friends and family who read this and I don't want to offend them.  Sometimes I wish this was totally anonymous, but it's too late for that.

I made plans to go to the mall at lunch (it was on the cold side for walking) with Barb to see her try on dresses for a wedding she's going to in a few weeks.  When we walked in I saw a bunch of dresses I liked.  I have a trip to NYC coming up and it would be nice to have a new pretty dress for it.  So when she went into the dressing room I did too.

It wasn't good.  I literally cried in there.  I always take two sizes in to compare.  I like to start with the bigger and work my way down.  These bigger dresses didn't fit.  I had to go out and get an even bigger one.   It doesn't make any sense.  I looked at myself in the mirror and felt like a giant hippopotamus. WTF!  Did I retain that much water from the run?  I know I'm a tad on the bloated side for things to come, but not that much.  My smaller jeans still fit.  There is no reason for this.  I had on this pretty pink dress and I couldn't even get the bigger big to zip up.  I couldn't stop the tears.  It hurt so bad.  I tried on the same size in the blue dress and it zipped.  Seriously what the heck!  It didn't matter.  I was so upset that I didn't buy anything.

Before we left for the mall we discussed grabbing lunch.  I had brought a peanut butter and banana sandwich, but I decided to eat that right before heading out to Happy Hour to help with the munching.  So we went to Subway for a sandwich to go.  I got the egg white on flatbread with spinach and tomatoes.  It was yummy.  The problem was that I couldn't stop eating.  I don't know if it was because of the run last night or because it was a reaction to the fitting room.  It sucked.

So let's fast forward to Happy Hour.  I opted for the mango iced tea.  I know it has sugar, but I don't really drink and I didn't want soda.  Since we were going to be a large group several appetizers were ordered.  First was the Soft Pretzels with the jalapeno spinach cheese dip (humina humina humina).  Then there were mini pizzas, bbq pork sliders, and southwest egg rolls. 

I split one of the pretzels and so I only ate about 3/4ths of it. And you know I love BBQ so I had one of the sliders.  It was a little dry so I stopped at one.  So truly I did not eat much.  However, I stayed two hours longer than I had planned and I could not keep my eyes off of the pizza at the end of the table.  I would be having a conversation with the guy across from me and yet I would look at that pizza like it was George Clooney walking into the room.  I have issues.

When I got home I made my lunch for tomorrow and had a glass of V8 (I was feeling a giant lack of veggies for the day).  My schedule is off because I didn't shower tonight.  I could have when I got home, but Biggest Loser was on and if I took a shower after I was afraid it would wake me up.

I'm stressed.  My whole schedule is thrown off this week.  I can hear you saying "Welcome to my world", but know this: my success is because of my schedule and discipline.  You have to make the time and put yourself first.  It's okay to veer off course every now and then, but if you want to be successful, you need to make the changes.  I read something recently during my daily devotionals.  It was about making time for prayer, but this can apply to working out too: If they were giving away $1000 bills at the mall you would make the time.  Well, pretend they are giving away $1000 for working out.  Just some food for thought.

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