Just a reminder that I missed The Biggest Loser tonight so my update will probably be posted later than usual this week.
So it feels like the harder I try to behave with my food the more it is thrown at me. I can't escape. Seriously, for those of you who aren't food addicts you probably don't understand. I can't even escape by listening to a book on cd.
The book on cd I am listening to right now has a man going back to Mississippi where he grew up. I am hearing about every single meal that he is having. And I LOVE Southern cooking so this is torture. I think you all know by now that they way to my heart is through good BBQ.
A lot of the food talk in the book centers around how it affects his diabetes and how it triggers memories from when he was a kid. But, I kid you not, not 10 minutes goes by before someone is offering to fry him up something or talk about how poor they were as a kid that they stole steaks. It's killing me. If I wasn't so invested in the story (and only one cd to go) I would totally stop listening. Seriously though, I have no idea what he says for a full minute after he mentions some new meal because my trigger is to salivate and imagine sitting and eating it. I have had to rewind on more than one occasion and then I have to listen to the description all over again. It's a vicious cycle.
It didn't help that my drive home last night took me past many many BBQ places. Luckily they are closed for the season or I would have been in some serious trouble.
I can't even talk about the commercials for food while I was watching the race..or the commericials for food competition shows. Luckily I am not really into those shows. It's probably because it would just be too much torture. I can't smell or taste the food and there's no way in heck I could actually make it (as they don't exactly post the recipes). Some of the cooks are too mean. I can't be bothered with that much negativity around food. Besides, watching how they cook stuff kills me now that I am conscious of butter, cream, and frying.
So I tried to be good and walk into the grocery story going only to the vegetable section. I needed to pick up a few things before I got on the road yesterday. And what is sitting there smack dab in the middle of the veggetables? A cookie display! COME ON!
The DC Half marathon is just under 3 weeks away. I'm very excited, but I'm even more excited that I am going to meet up with some friends from college. I haven't seen them since the 90's and they are moving to Thailand for two years. Of course I am pissed that I let so many years go by without meeting up, but I can only look forward not backwards.
We were trying to figure out where to meet and what to do. I would love to go to the zoo, but it's too early to figure out how my feet will fare with the race and how nice the weather will be. So instead we went on the search for food. I seem to have this habbit of picking places I want to eat weeks/months before the actual event. That gives me plenty of time to fantisize over the food and drool. Since it's race weekend and my rule on race weekend is "I can eat anything I want for the next two days" we have selected the Cheesecake Factory....I can taste it now.
So tonight was book club. We discussed a memoir called The Orchard. What's life like on an apple farm? I used to imagine it as a wonderful place. Apples are my favorite fruit. And now I may never eat another one as long as I live.
At first I was drooling over the diffent types (my favorite is MacIntosh) and the different uses for some. Some apples are grown for baking not just eating fresh. I could smell the apples as I was reading. And then I learned about the chemicals. I can now only eat organic apples.
Since we are supposed to bring treats to book club there has been discussion about bringing apple goodies. I'm a tad hesitant. I seriously have not had one since I finished the book.
I'm also quite pissed at myself because my treat for book club are the frosted sugar cookies I heart so much. I use this as my treat to get them. I don't otherwise. But, I so want to bring that healthy option. It's just really hard when I haven't been at home since 6:45am and I don't always know what my refrigeration options are. That's no excuse though. I just haven't tried hard enough.
The good news is that I sat off to the side and didn't partake in any of the goodies except a bottle of water. I would like to say that it's because I was behaving, but the truth is I was starting to get a sinus headache and I didn't feel like eating...even though someone brought the Starbucks cranberry bliss bars that I heart so much...damn headache!
Have a Blessed Night.
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If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.