Monday, July 30, 2012

Pain is Weakness Leaving Your Body

Happy Monday Bleeps!

Well I survived!  It got a little hectic in the afternoon, but I made it through.

Ms. Kerri, I will buy you all of the pop tarts you want when you come back!  Ha, just kidding you know I won't do that, but I will buy you Starbucks if you promise never to leave me again.

Okay, so the belly is pink and that meant that I am jeans free for a little while. Basically I am in dresses and comfy skirts for the week.  So I put on that pretty empire waist dress that I could sleep in.  It was a good plan.  And then Ms. Tracey asked if I wanted to walk at lunch.

Seriously, it was gorgeous out there today.  We figured we would get in fifteen minutes.  We were wrong.  We walked for the full hour.  But, the dress is awkward so I had it yanked up above my knees the whole time. But oh how good it felt.  Thank you Ms. Tracey!

In addition to my belly being pink my face is a little swollen from the burn.  And thanks to Ms. Barb I got updates on it all day.  My eyes are sensitive.  I can't put suntan lotion anywhere near them.  My eyes burn when I sweat.  I would go blind if the lotion dripped in there.  So my eyes were very puffy today and Ms. Barb let me know it.  "You look awful! I'm just saying. I don't think you should go to the gym tonight.  You might scare someone." Thank you for the support.

And then the internal debate started again on the way home.

1. You heard Barb. You look like crap. Go home.

2. You took yesterday off.  Get your ass there!

1.  Come on, you already walked for an hour today.  You're good.

2.  It's been weeks since you saw a Gym Crush.

1. Do you really want any Gym Crush to see you like this?

2.  You were out for a week.  Get your ass to the gym!

1. Think of the burn.  Do you really want to do anything with that?

2. It's not that bad.  

1. You need to study.

2. You can read your book on the treadmill. 

1. I'm pretty sure the belly is pinker than it was this morning. 

2. That's what aloe is for.

1. If you hit traffic then you should just go home.

No traffic...On to the gym I go. On my way there I was behind a guy on a motorcycle with the best shirt: Pain is weakness leaving your body.  Luvs it!

I have had a pair of yoga pants packed in my gym bag for a little while.  I opted for them because there's a slight burn on my thighs and walking at lunch was irritating them a little.  So I put on my big girl pants and I got out there.  Gym Crush 1 was already running...yeah!  And after my first 15 minute run I saw Gym Crush 2...ahhh...all is well.

I put in another hour and I felt good. Sweaty, but good.   I really truly hate that I still have to talk myself into the gym.  I know I want to go.  I know that I'm going to go.  It just feels like the more successful I am, the more desperate the Former Fat girl is to take back control.  I'm tired of this constant battle and am a little afraid that she might start winning.

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

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