Friday, July 13, 2012

Let's Get Naked Friday!

Happy Friday Bleeps!

Let's Get Naked!  I've talked about this before, but I want to talk about it some more.  Do you look at yourself naked?  I mean really look...and I'm not talking salaciously.  Spend some time facing your body every day.

I mentioned before how the Former Fat Girl would avoid looking at myself at all costs.  If I was without clothes I would most likely have my eyes closed too.  I knew it was bad and I didn't want to see it.  I didn't want to face it.  I could go on in my happy place if I didn't have to think about it.  But, I wouldn't need to go to my happy place if I made changes and got healthy.

The brain is a wonderful thing.  Sometimes you deal with memory loss when your brain is trying to protect you from a particularly traumatic event.  Well my brain provided it's own magic mirror.  At a size 18 I could somehow convince myself that I didn't look that bad and that people would think I was an 8.  Seriously, that's how it works.  But, if I couldn't face myself how could I expect others to face me?

These days I spend a lot of time looking at myself. You all know I still have the belly issues.  I have some other trouble spots that I would like to get rid of.  As beastly as my legs are, I still have two areas that I need to tighten and they are both thighs related.

What? you say!  I know!  I am pressing 200lbs, running, and cycling...what the heck!  I used to have the chub rub something fierce.  You should have bought stock in baby powder because I would go through a bottle a month.  They don't so much rub now...thank goodness, but there's still a little droop in the inner thigh...bah! 

Do you have one leg that is stronger than the other?  I do. We know that I favor my right leg because of my bad left knee.  Well that shows in the leg too.  At the very top of the leg on the side I have had this pocket of fat.  Fat will find the oddest of places to deposit itself.  And seriously, when my whole body was covered in fat, why was I really surprised about this odd little pocket?  Did I really think that I would have this svelt area when everything else was in such bad shape?

So this pocket used to be on both sides, but it was extremely pronounced on the left side. There's still a little on the right, but you can hardly tell.  The left is much smaller than it used to be.  I am getting there, but I still see it and it still makes me sad....hence the 200lb thigh weights. 

I think a lot of you can identify with one of my other trouble spots.  Hold your arms out straight to the side.  Is there anything hanging and flapping in the wind?  It used to be so icky for me.  Not only did it hang, but there were ugly stretch marks.  It's not gone entirely, but I would say it's down to 20%. That's progress. But, I still hate those damn stretch marks.  Stupid fat marks!

A lot of people ask me about that area for themselves.  What exercises can they do to help?  It's not really a muscle, so no one exercise is going to fix it.  And if I find out you bought one of those stupid shaker exercise things I will freak out.  You can help reduce it with cardio.  Try working your chest.  Do push-ups if you don't have access to chest machines that the gym.  This area is not just directly associated with your arm muscles.  It doesn't hurt to work them either.  I would simply say work your biceps and triceps to help tone it.  It will build muscle in the area around it which helps burn the fat.  Don't do one without the other though.  Work them both. 

And now for the stupid belly.  BAH!  GO AWAY BELLY!  I feel like I have a split personality when it comes to it.  From some angles I think "oh it's really not so bad" and other angles I want to crawl into the fetal position and cry.  When I am getting ready in the morning I am facing my big giant mirror.  When I put the light on my dresser on for my make-up I want to cry.  It's like a spotlight on the fat and stretch marks.  Then as soon as the light turns off I think "seriously it doesn't look that horrible".  So as long as I keep my naked belly out of fluorescent lighting I should be okay and I'm pretty sure that's NOT a problem...except for stupid fitting rooms.  Looking at myself sideways I am much happier looking at the right side.  It's a little tighter.  The left side needs work, but I am working on strengthening it. 

I don't know how to say this, but it's a flatter fat belly than it used to be.  Does that make sense?  When I am wearing the right things it is nice and flat.  At the bottom of the flat is the fat shelf.  If the Former Fat Girl wore a tight shirt it was UGLY! Fat and round.  Now it's flat...just needs to get thinner....and lose that damn shelf.  Again, I have seen a huge difference in it in the past few months and it is on it's way to going away...but, I still don't like it.  I still want it gone.

So yeah, the area that I look at the most is my naked tush...although I do prefer it in some underwear.  It is no longer droopy and flat.  I do enjoy the progress I have made on it.  I can handle looking at the ugly areas because I know that eventually I will find my tush and I will be happy.

So there you have it.  There are the flaws that I see when I look at myself naked.  But, there are plenty of fabulous things too.  I love my clavicle and shoulders...ahh....I love my thinning thighs.  They no longer look like tree trunks. They are slimming down and yet still very muscular.  I love that my back fat is going away.  I love that you can see a waist! How sweet is that!  I actually curve in at the waist now...and I love my curves!  Curves are beautiful!  My grandmom is worried that I will become anorexic, but fear not.  I love my curves and would never want to get rid of them. 

I have gotten a lot more comfortable with my body once I was forced to look at it.  I can appreciate the positive changes that much more.  Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I have instituted Naked Tuesdays or anything, but I am no longer horrified by what I see.  I'm still a work in progress.

So go on and get naked!

Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

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