Sunday, April 15, 2012

Bad news + Me = urge to eat...and eat...and eat

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

So last week we had two big wonderful events for the family.  Causes for celebration.  First was Keeley's performance at Carnegie Hall.  Then it was Kim's wedding in Jamaica.  I'm so very thankful for those joyful occasions.  Unfortunately, it has been followed up with some sobering news.

I will not go into full details, but another cousin was in the hospital all week and is currently in ICU after having a large mass removed from her intestine.  The news has been rapid and changing all week.  Just when we have time to digest one thing of bad news, we are hit with more.  It has been an emotional roller coaster of a week.  Although it's starting to feel like quicksand.

Before I go on, I will put out the prayer request.  Please pray for Janice and her family.  Ask your church or prayer groups to pray for them too.

How am I handling this?  I find myself on my knees often.  I am praying every waking moment.  I am also fighting the urge to binge eat.  For years, well most of my life, I reacted with food.  Let's think about this though.  When someone is sick or dies, what do you do?  You bring food. But, not just any food.  You bring comfort food.   Large pasta dishes.  Boxes of donuts.  Pizza.  You don't often see people bringing grilled chicken and steamed vegetables.

So first I was sick and I was dealing with the increasing appetite when I started to get better.  Then, I am emotional and worried.  All I want to do is curl up with chocolate, ice cream, and french fries.  Well, not all at once. 

It is a very powerful urge to deal with.  I have been in my car a lot this weekend and as I pass by fast food restaurants I have had severe urges to pull in and gorge myself until I'm sick.  If I'm focusing on that, maybe my brain won't think about the bad things.  I have not done so, but let me tell you how bad Arby's is calling me.  I do not know if I can resist it that much longer.  It doesn't help that it's across the street from the gym too.

How am I able to resist?  That is a good question.  I think there are three things at work here.  First, is that I was sick for a week.  I saw my body this weekend.  You can tell a difference.  It's not as tight.  Just one week off of working out and eating right and I could see a major difference.  Second, is that dang fitness competition.  You would think I am obsessed, but I am calling out the organizers.  We still do not have teams or guidance yet.  The thing is over next month.  ARGH.  Third, I want to treat my body right.

I know that you can be the healthiest person in the word and still contract the big C, but I don't want to give my body fuel for the bad.  I want it in the best shape possible so that if I ever do face something like that, I have the strongest healthiest body on my side to do the fighting.  Does that make sense?

Give yourself a hug for me.  Then hug your family.  Life is so precious.  Let's make every moment count.

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