Happy Thursday My Lovelies and Gents,
Well here it is...the last Boot Camp. I am happy and I am sad.
I am happy because that means Yoga is coming! I am sad because that means Boot Camp is Over. I am happy because it forces me to work on my weaknesses. I am sad because it forces me to work on my weaknesses.
Yesterday someone asked me if I think that now that I am certified if it will help me improve my workouts. The answer is yes. I know that several people have asked to be my first client, but really I have to be my own client.
I know what my limitations are. I know what my strengths are. I know where I need to improve. I know where I need to cut back.
Boot Camp has been difficult this year for me. Everyone in class has known that I was studying to be a trainer. When we would be doing something that I am too tight or weak on, I would feel like in the back of their head they were saying "She's not that good. How can she train someone?" It's crazy. I know that. But, that's the Former Fat Girl talking in my head.
I'm strong. That is my strength. Give me weights and I'll knock it out of the park. We don't do that in class. Boot Camp has a lot of balance and agility movements. I'm not good with that. My knee is weak. I don't trust putting all of my weight on it for long periods of time. And so I don't. My chest is tight. I have very little range pulling my arms behind me for dips or bridges. It's not fun to see that. It messes with my head. Instead of working on it, I let it get to me. When you spend years and years and years with low self-esteem it's not easy to just turn off. You stew and dwell on the negative.
Well now that studying is over I can focus on me again. I can start working on my weaknesses. I will still kick but on my strength, but I have to dial it back a few notches and concentrate on other areas. In the long run it will make me better.
I'm not sure why I have stuck with strength for so long. It could be because it's a metaphor for my lift. I'm getting stronger in every way. The downside is that I'm a tad solid. I would sink like a rock in water. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but on the scale it ain't fun. And so I've finally stopped weighing myself. Instead I measure my waist and hips. I go by how my clothes look and feel. I'm tiny, but I ain't dainty. *Side note, that sort of messes me up with boys. When I'm talking with a boy of interest I am constantly thinking "could he lift me?" If the answer is No, I keep walking. I don't plan on giving up too much strength, but I would like to lighten it up a little.
And so after this weekend of rest, I will sit down with myself and put together a plan. I will write out a program and stick to it. It got difficult this summer. I would have a plan, but the pressure of cutting it short to go home and study would get in the way. Well that's not a problem anymore is it?
Part of being a trainer is getting people out of their comfort zones. Tonight there was a lot of balance in class. I had to modify, but I did it. I'm not good at it so I don't like it. Just need to keep at it until I can do it. Then maybe I won't hate it so much.
Let the balance and flexibility begin!
I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)
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