Sunday, August 19, 2012

Seeing the weight roller coaster ride through pictures.

Hello Beautiful People,

Well I had a busy weekend and lots happened. I will need to break it up into a few posts though.   I had Friday off and went down to my mom's for the weekend. I hadn't been down there since Mother's Day and that's so not like me.  I needed a trip down to visit with my grandmom plus my cousin was coming home after his Basic Training and specialty training for the National Guard.  We haven't seen him since the beginning of the year.

I wanted to relax this weekend and yet I had so many things I wanted to do. Story of my life right?  Well one of the big things was to pull out the pictures from elementary school. I'm meeting up with some of my friends and their mom on Friday and I could not be more excited.  How great would it be to pull out pictures from back in the day?

Well that was fun...and stressful. I was the most adorable toddler.  I'm just sayin.  I was all smiles and with my blonde pigtails...well I don't know how I wasn't 'discovered'. haha. Those were the fun pictures that we pulled out. There were thousands of pictures from over the years and we lost hours looking through them...well most of them. I need more time to go through the rest.

There were lots of "awwww" moments...but you know that can't last.  Along with the awwws come the "EWWW I look so awful.  Please throw that out." Now I know that everyone has their "awkward" phases...but dang did mine have to last so long?  It's more than the bad hair choices (permed mullet is NEVER a good idea).  But, those I can live with...it's watching the little girl gain weight that hurt.

I found pictures of birthday parties when I was the same size as my friends.  And then just a few years later I noticeably bigger than them.  Sadly, if you look closely, the big giant smile is not there.  I'm still smiling, but it's no where near as big as the younger skinnier me.

It took it's emotional toll on me.  There was so much smiling at all of the good memories.  And then in the same breath my heart would drop at an overweight picture.  I'm not going to lie.  I had the urge to eat the whole time I was looking at these pictures.  Now I know that I had not had my normal meals and snacks each day and I thought that was the reason.  But, now that I think about it, it was emotional eating.  I don't know how I didn't recognize that since it has been a problem practically my whole life.

I did find a picture from around age 5 of me in a bikini top and shorts (I did wear the bikini to the pool again this weekend...don't ask...this tanning of the belly thing is getting out of hand...gonna need to get a spray tan to look decent argh).  But that's the funny thing.  I had tan legs and arms and a white belly in that picture. haha...sadly, I also had skinny little arms and legs and yet my belly was not fit..not fat, but not matching the arms and legs :-(  BAH!

Alright, I need to log off now.  I did not get to study at all this weekend and I am about to fall behind schedule.  If I don't get cracking I am going to need to push my date back until November.  Plus I am watching Chris Powell and Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition...I heart him!

Have a wonderful night and I will fill you in on the rest this week.

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http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

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