Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Eternal Internal Struggle

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

So the question is: Did I sleep in or did I get up and go for a run?  The answer: Both.

My plan was for 12 miles. My other plan was to not set an alarm and let God decide. I woke up at 9. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and finish reading my book. I needed a distance, but I also needed rest. How can I do both?  My plans for the rest of the day were to go to visit Ms. Bibble, my college roommate, to watch the Syracuse/FSU game.  We rarely get to see the football games on TV so when the occasion arises Orange Unite! (we won't discuss the score)

So I'm laying in bed the eternal struggle going on in my head:

You have to get up and go to the park. You held this weekend open for a Distance for a reason.

Do you feel the cushy bed? You DESERVE some relaxation.

New sneakers!  You have to break them in. The race is in 3 weeks. You are running out of time.

You don't have to do the full distance. You can cut it down. Or just start later.

I have to eat lunch, shower, and stop at Starbucks before going to Ms. Bibble's. I don't have all day to run.

I don't want to!
*****

I did. I let myself finish my chapter and then I got up and showered. I put on my new sneaks, new sports bra, and grabbed my new earphones. I was slow moving and I made to the park by 11am. It was a beautiful day. Seriously, how could I want to stay inside for this? I was happy to find people at the park. I wasn't alone!

*Te he...doesn't it look like I have long legs...#IWish*


Since the sneakers were new and felt different I wanted to walk a mile first before I started running. My right foot felt fine. The left foot felt like it was rubbing on my heel. Argh. It was very irritating. Then I ran one mile and felt good. When I stopped to get water my heel was burning. What do I do?

It's too nice of a day to cut it short. 

Just put in 3 and go home. You have so much to do.

NO, you need at least 5. You will be so pissed that you stopped early.

You didn't bring back up sneakers KNOWING that you were breaking in a pair. You obviously wanted this.

Nice try, I always keep a pair in the car. But, the damage is done.

Wait, did you just agree with me?

No, that's not what I meant. I NEED this. Maybe I can still knock out 7 or 8.

Are you kidding me?  Have you seen your laundry basket?  It's exploding. You have things to do and now your heel is all cut up. If it gets worse you will be held back from training.

You have a point there.

See!

But, I can still walk some. Well okay, limp.

Do you know how tired you are? Why do you do this to yourself? You are sacrificing so much for this. You could be hanging with friends just chilling out.

I will be doing that in a couple of hours. Let me have this!

I'm tired. Do I really want to do more races? Seriously, let's think about this.  You love the race, but not the work you put into training.

We can discuss this another time. Right now I have a job to do.

Wouldn't it be nice to just run for he heck of it?  Not because you are conditioning your body.

I said we'll discuss this later.

No let's discuss this now. Is this really what you want? Is it worth the exhaustion?

The exhaustion is temporary. The results are forever!  Things will be different in a little while.

You know you have to go grocery shopping too right? And what about lunch? Why are we still here???

SHUT UP! Let me get 5 in. 

Your foot hurts. Let's let the next song decide. If it's one of your favorites we stay, but if not we go.

Fine.

And then it happened....The Rocky Theme song came on. Oh hell yeah!  I'm doing it.  I finished 5 miles.

Was I pissed that I didn't get my big distance in? Yes. Did I burn more calories than I would have laying in bed reading? YES!  Not the distance I wanted, but still a respectable one with a decent time all things considered.

I went to Saladworks for lunch. It's right next to Starbucks and I didn't trust myself not to get a tasty treat so Saladworks it was. I ordered the half salad and half sandwich, but they made a full salad for me. So I got to take the rest of it home for dinner. Bonus!  And I didn't get a cookie either. Go me!

The feeling was short lived however. In full Confession mode I must admit that when I stopped at Starbucks on my way to Ms. Bibble's I got her a brownie (because I know she likes them...I forgot to mention that a couple weeks ago she fell and shattered her ankle and is unable to walk so a treat to cheer her up was in order) and myself a cake pop.  It's been a stressful time and I have had temptations in my face 24/7. I was hoping to last the until Thanksgiving for a treat, but I think I'm doing really well so I won't beat myself up. I just won't let it happen again until next week (because Thanksgiving is around the corner).





P.S. Don't worry about the sneakers. I will break them in another time and hit the Reebok outlet on Black Friday. I'll be okay.


Today's Tip: Don't burn candles that smell like food. It's a trigger you don't need.

Have a Blessed Night.

*************************************************************************
Check out my Facebook Page for Confessions (there are before and work-in-progress pictures):

http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir

yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile

Instagram: Jennie5973

No comments:

Post a Comment