Friday, June 15, 2012

Bikini Trial Run

Happy Friday Bleeps!

Wow, I haven't done a Friday post in forever...but alas I have a full day at the shore tomorrow so I don't think I'll get one in.  Besides, I have things to talk about. :-)

So last night I made it back to the gym. I got out of my funk and I had moderate traffic so there was no question.  I had to plan out what I wanted to do.  I had to avoid the treadmill and I've been a little bike heavy lately (my butt can only take so much).  So I opted for 30 minutes on the elliptical.  While I was on I needed to figure out which weights to do. 

Would it be an all inclusive day?  A legs day?  A back/chest/Shoulder day?  A shoulder/bicep/tricep day?  Let's roll the dice.  Well I ruled out the leg day.  I need to rest it some more.  And so I picked back/chest/shoulder day.  Bring it!

I started with the Row/deltoid.  I like the rowing motion more than the pull down.  My weights were about the same as last time.  I will try to up them in a week or so.

Then I moved to the chest press.  My last time I had upped it on my final set.  I did all three sets on that high.  YEAH!

And then on to the shoulder press.  BAH!  One day I am going to conquer this machine! It kills me.  I work my shoulders like crazy.  I can lift way more weight than this.  So why the heck am I so stuck?  You may remember that I went up by 5lbs last week and I was all excited.  Well not last night.  I went back down 5lbs.  DANG IT!  I was pissed.  PISSED.

I decided to finish the night over in the ab/stretching area.  It was time for some planks and pike.  The fitness competition final assessment is around the corner and I need more plank time...and tomorrow is bikini day potentially so you can see why I needed all of the core work that I could get.

I was angry at my shoulders so I started with Pike.  I held it forever.  So then I was happy.  Now let's hit plank.  For every 5 seconds over our base time we get 5pts.  Maximum of 15 points.  My goal is 60 seconds and 12 points. Last night I got 40 seconds.  8points ain't bad.  And that was 40 seconds over my last plank so yeah we'll take it.  On my next round I happened to peak through my legs (now remember I am looking upside down) and I see this dude doing handstand push ups. I hate him! 

After a few more rounds it was time to go and I texted this recent site to some people. My pal Amie, who has postponed our lunches twice this week (calling you out lady!), is a beast. She is a trainer and competes in body competitions.  She loves them and said she will show me.  Cool. I want this!

Hottie Instructor says "They are fun!" In fact he did them in his shoulders workout earlier in the day.  Of course he did.  So then we were talking about his workout. He also did some standing shoulder presses with barbells.  When I found out how much the weight was my immediate thought was "He could lift me!"  And then it happened.

A memory that terrifies me haunted me.  Many moons ago when my brother was home on leave we were standing in the kitchen.  He had been a scrawny kid, but the Army made him nice and strong.  So strong that he decided that he could lift me over his head.  He lifted me before I knew what was happening.  I was not quite at my heaviest, but I wasn't far off. I was flipping out and screaming.  He's going to drop me!  I'm going to hit my head on the stove! His back is going to go out and I am going to flatten him like a pancake when we drop!  I'm going to throw up on him! PUT ME DOWN!  PUT ME DOWN!

Seriously, just thinking about it right now my heart is still racing.  I was probably in the air for all of 3 seconds, but to a fat girl it was an eternity.  It was a slow motion nightmare.  I need to change the subject because my heart can't relive that anymore.

So tomorrow is B day!  Will she or won't she?  Well I did a trial run this morning.  I put my bikini on and prepared for the day in it. The good news is that I didn't fully want to bang my head against a wall.  The bad news is that for a long period of time all I could see was the stretchmarks.  Since January they have cut in half.  It's something to be proud of.  But, I still see them and that's still what I focus on...they are right in the front, how can I not? 

By the time my hair was dry and my make up was on I was feeling better about it.  Maybe I really can do this.  I was half tempted to wear it under my clothes today lol, but I did not.

So now all day I have been starving.  I'm trying to figure out if it's because of the workout last night or did I not eat enough dinner.  My big worry is that my brain has fooled myself into thinking it's hungry.  What if my brain is so traumatized by the bikini that it is reverting to it's old ways of comfort?  Food.  Argh. 

And speaking of food....Ms. Kerri went out to lunch today and when she came back she was so happy at how full she was.  Me: What did you have?  Her: A bacon cheeseburger...and fries  Me: I hate you!  Her: Want to smell me? (I'm just kidding about that part...but she did offer for me to sniff her breath after I joked about it....ahh good times at work on a Friday).

Have a wonderful weekend.  I'll talk to you when I get back from the shore....

****Please note****
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you!  Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week.  The journey is so much easier if you have support.

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