Hello there Beautiful People,
Let's cut to the chase. There were some really great moments at this year's Family Christmas Party...there were also some old habits that are hard to break :-(
Let me start by saying that I was out shopping with a friend the night before. Just as we were finishing up I realized that I had not planned an outfit for the party. Well let's see what Target's got...since I'm here and all. I wasn't overly impressed with a lot of the sweaters and had just about resigned myself to wearing a sweater or something at home. Then I spotted some pretty cool looking tops out front. I called it a Flashdance top. It didn't have the cut neck line but it was the broad shoulder and cinched waist look. Okay, it's not exactly Flashdance, but that was the first thing that popped into my mind. I was looking at a fun blue/green solid version. My friend had other things in mind. He liked the "jailhouse" striped one. It was a light grey and beige striped shirt. It was nice, but come on and say it with me "FAT GIRLS SHOULD NOT WEAR HORIZONTAL STRIPES!".
I was extremely hesitant to even hold it up to me. I grabbed one of the solid shirts and he kept shaking his head. I told him about my fear of stripes. Horizontal stripes make you wider. I couldn't possibly wear this. His response was that I look fabulous and that I can wear many things now that I couldn't before. I love that. So I got it. Well, not the jailhouse one. I got the melon and grey striped one. I needed a little color. I figured I would try it on when I got home. If I didn't like it I would bring it back. I paired it with a some formerly "skinny" jeans. Now they are just "rockin" jeans :-)
Okay, so I need to confess that I broke my own rule. I made cookies on Wednesday and figured I would bring them to the party. It was only a dozen and a half, but it was something. I had planned on stopping for a veggie tray to compensate, but I totally forgot. So here I am suggesting people bring the healthy dishes and I show up with cookies. argh. Luckily, there was a nice platter of veggies already there. *Side note - this was cool, in the center of the tray was a hollowed out yellow pepper with the dip inside...clever and pleasing to the eye *
When I got to the party I hung out in the living room for a while. I needed to finish up my Christmas cards, but I had also seen the food in the kitchen. It looked GOOD. The good news is that I did not hang out in the kitchen the whole time because I wanted to avoid the food. I did eat my dinner in there though. There was lots of delicious food. Chicken Parmesian, Baked Ziti, Ham, Green Beans, Steak tips with Mushrooms, Salad, Shrimp, and the most important thing: Spinach dip in a rye bread bowl. OH...MY...GOSH!!!!!! That was my downfall. I ate a little too much of that.
I did have two plates of food: 1- Chicken parm and green beans 2-Steak tips and green beans. I also had a salad. I was nice and full, but not overly full when I was done. I had specifically worn fitted jeans so that I would feel it when the waist started to expand from the food.
There were a lot of desserts, but I avoided them for the most part...except for my cookies and grandmom's Angel Food cake.
Happily I drank a lot of water throughout the night....unfortunately, that meant many trips to the bathroom. On the way to the bathroom I passed the bowl of chocolate in the hallway. :-( I overdosed on candy cane hershey kisses and rolos...you saw that coming didn't you?
I must say that it was very nice to hear all night long how "skinny" I was and how great I look. It's still hard for me to accept compliments. I'm still not used to the positive attention. I love to hear it and yet there's still a part of me that is uncomfortable with it. I know that it's good recognition for all of my hard work, but in my head there is always that insinuation "because you were fat before". I smile and say thanks and really try to accept it as a nice thing, but I'm not sure I will ever be comfortable with it.
In addition to all of the "skinny" comments, it was nice to hear my mom bragging to everyone about the Half Marathon last weekend. Um, yeah, I brought the medal. Go ahead and laugh, but I am very proud of it (even took it to church the next day :-).
I would like to give a big shout out to my cousin Brett for hosting such a wonderful evening. He's so cute. He said "I was telling my mom that even though it doesn't always apply to me, your writing is really good. Although I could lose a few." Ha thanks...and quit putting out the baskets of chocolate! Still love ya though.
We had a lot of left over food and I got to bring some home...it was an hour drive. My car smelled like chicken parm for two days. I had to bust out a new air freshener to mask the delicious aroma.
I hope you make some good decisions at your parties. Just remember, if you make poor decisions then tomorrow is a good day to start making amends. That's what I did.
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support. firstname.lastname@example.org