Thursday, May 30, 2013

Lost focus for a little while...time to get back on track

Happy Thursday Bleeps!

Woo's almost the weekend...YEAH! And then I have a short week next week because Nephew is coming to visit (along with his parents of course)! I need baby snuggles something fierce let me tell ya!  

I may be all over the place with this post so please bear with me. I have a lot I want to say and it all sort of ties in, but I have been struggling with focus lately so goodness only knows what is going to pop out.

Last night I was doing a little running and started to do the math...I am 3.5 months out for the next Half Marathon.  When I signed up I had plenty of time to train for it. In fact, I was in a 5K every other week working on my short distance time. Well now we are starting to hit crunch time. I have one 5K next month and then not another until August. That's good. Now it's time to work on my long distance training. But, when???

Last time I arranged to skip lunches on Tuesdays and leave work early for some long distances at night. I need this again. I NEED it. The problem: as long as we are in the fitness challenge I cannot do it Tuesdays or Thursdays. And Wednesdays is Bible study. Mondays are my busy days at work. BAH. I am going to need to ask for it to be Mondays, but it may kill me. I have to do it.  My weekends are crazy and I can't count on them right now.

And so, my focusing on the challenge has to alter. I will do what I can, but it can't be a main focus. If I don't win, then I don't win. As long as I make improvements then I win. And quite frankly, what I am getting out of it from motivating, educating, and helping others is priceless. So I'm good with that. I am sorry to my teammates that I can no longer give 110%.

So now let's talk gym time. The past few weeks I have not had the intense workouts that I am used to or need. I'm very frustrated. Especially since my eating has not been on target. Sometimes I just haven't had it in me. And at this point I know myself and my body. If my brain or body aren't in it, then I can't push it. I will only hurt myself in the end. Instead I need to readjust that day's workout and modify it. Those aren't my worst days. I can deal with them.  What's happening now is that the traffic I sit in to get to the gym is getting crazier and crazier every night. It's 7 miles away and there are days that I'm not getting on a machine for an hour because I just sat there. I still have a 45 minute drive after my workout. And then I need to make dinner, prep lunch, and shower.  I try not to leave the gym past 7. Mainly I would do an intense 30 minute run for those, but my knees can only take so much. BAH.

I do have an option of going to a park close to work at 5 and going for a run there. I may need to do that once a week or something. I just haven't gone yet. Once I do it once I know I will want to put it in the schedule.

Okay, I'm frustrated. I've told you that I'm not getting my calm. I need church to recharge me. I am hoping to get to a church by me this Sunday before I have to head out for a baby shower. I really need some calm in my life.

All of this craziness is not helping my woman issues.

*Boys, feel free to call it a night. You can go now.*

Alright ladies, this week was one of my worst yet. I am stressed. My body is stressed. I have limited my fatty and sugary foods, but I'm still eating more than I should (that belly is going NO WHERE right now). I'm stress eating. And with the lack of intense workouts...well this one was heavy. Argh. I should honestly not have done Boot Camp tonight. I had planned on just being a motivator, but then my brain started screaming "you need this workout!". The result: I was nauseous the whole time. I could only give 50%. But, that's 50% more than if I did nothing. So I'll have to take it.

I am back to eating right full time and have been pretty good for the past couple of days, but my history this month did not help. Now I just need to get back in focus with my workouts.  On top of the ickiness I also have a face full of pimples...argh.  I'm bloated. I'm cranky. And I have the face of the 14 yr old former fat girl.

What's scary, is that this is how the Former Fat Girl was a lot. Man, why did I do it to myself for so many years?  June will be better!  It has to.

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

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