It's almost Halloween. It used to be one of my favorite days of the year. I still like it, but it's incredibly stressful now.
The Former Fat Girl LIVED for Halloween. She loved all of the chocolate. Figuring out a costume sometimes made her cringe though. She could never be what she really wanted to be. She could never wear the small sexy costumes. She would then relish the idea of covering up the fat with a costume.
Hockey jerseys. Giant blazers. Garbage bags. Footie pajamas. Anything big became a halloween costume.
Along with that costume came the absolute consumption of candy. The first time the bags were advertised in the store she bought some. Not to give out, but to start eating. One bag would last a week...on a good week. Sometimes they could be polished off in a couple of days. Honestly, I can't figure out how she never ended up in a diabetic coma.
The after Halloween sales were her most favorite sales of all time. LOAD UP! Five bags might get you to Thanksgiving.
So when I started to lose the weight Halloween costumes got more fun. I could finally wear the cute ones. Goldie Locks. Sexy Pirate. Little Red Riding Hood. French maid. That was good stuff.
This year is stressing me out. I am eating right and working out. I SHOULD be where I want to be. But, I'm sabotaging all of my hard work with little treats. If I cut back the treats I will get there. I want to lose more of the belly before I move to Full Time Trainer. I want to look better. I don't want clients focusing on my belly thinking to themselves "Like I should listen to her. Look at that belly!"
I already packed my old costumes away for the move. Besides, I've lost count of how many times I have been the Sexy Pirate. I love it, but can only recycle it so many times. This year I just had too many things happening that getting a new costume wasn't a priority. That feels weird for me. I can live without a costume though. I have considered putting on a race outfit with a race bib and being a Marathon Runner...since I've never actually run a full marathon yet. I haven't decided yet.
I am trying so hard this year to avoid the candy. Captain's Log Day 4: Have avoided sweets for 4 days. Feeling good. Feeling Stronger. Scared to go to lunch tomorrow. Plus I got something this week that doesn't make it any easier...bah!
I'm feeling good, but I've been able to avoid temptation pretty much...except for the big-ass basket of candy downstairs waiting for Trick-or-Treaters...FOUL! I haven't had any. And I won't. Not one piece. Because one piece is never enough. It's my addiction.
So sending me out on Halloween is like sending an Alcoholic to a bar after a week of sobriety. Not the ideal situation. I'm trying to channel my wants for sweets to positive thoughts that soon enough I will have a career that I am passionate about.
Of course a little part of me will be focusing on the cupcakes at the wedding on Saturday...Not gonna lie.
So what's my survival technique for the night?
*Make sure I eat a good breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. Very filling.
*Chew my sugarless X-tra Rootbeer float gum
*Push myself harder on all of my workouts this week - Don't want to make them pointless
*Treat myself to something else - I found a teavana tea that I'm interested in so I will go pick some up at lunch on Thursday.
*My tip for everyone who buys candy is to not buy it until the day of...it's too dangerous to keep around the house. Also, buy things that you wouldn't eat. I could buy bags of sweet tarts or sour patch kids and never ever eat them. Ideally you wouldn't be buying candy to give out, but I don't want to get anyone egged for giving out pencils.
Hopefully life will be a little better next Halloween and I will be back to enjoying it and dressing up.
Okay kids tonight was distance night and Biggest Loser...I'm calling it a night.
Have a Blessed Night.
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