Monday, June 16, 2014

Sick and full of anxiety...hide the chocolate!

Happy Monday Bleeps,

Alright so I haven't really been feeling well since I got back from Charlotte. I was outrunning storms on the drive back and that's when it started. Sinuses....grrr... not good.

Friday night we went out to a Happy Hour. I started with a little headache, but by the time we left my throat was sore. By the time we got home I was stuffed up and my head hurt. I didn't get much sleep. When I woke up I was a little stuffed. I took some medicine and felt much better. I could breathe!

I had hoped to go lay by the pool. It was a beautiful day. Sunny. Warm, but not hot. I could breathe and I was all anxious. I hadn't heard regarding the Personal Trainer Position one way or another. So I opted to go for a walk.  I hadn't really done anything for a couple of days because of a blister on my heel. My plan was to just go out there for 3 miles. But, while I was walking it just felt sooooo good. I was getting sun. I didn't need to go to the pool. I could go a little longer.

I was out there for 7 miles. On my last lap I started to feel hungry and started to feel a little stuffed up. So I came inside for a shower, some food, and medicine. After a little rest we went out for a little bit. It was not long before I was completely stuffed up. One of our stops was Bath & Body Works so that could get some of the little holders for the anti-bacterial hand gels. I have a bunch of the little bottles, but if they aren't easily accessible I don't really use them. I have been using the one that is attached to the outside of one of my bags. They were having their big 75% off sale. I don't know if it's a good thing or not, but I could not smell a thing. I couldn't buy anything because I had no idea if I liked it or not. I did get 3 of the little cases though. For $1 each. Woo Woo!

By the time we got home I was super miserable. My ears were starting to hurt. I spent the rest of the night with one tissue stuck up my nose and the heating pad on my face. My throat was super sore so mom went out and got me a smoothie. Thanks Mom!

The next morning we found some Mucinex and I immediately felt relief. YEAH. So I went to church. My aunt's church has a foyer that you can sit in and watch the service on big screens. They also have a little coffee area. We stayed out there because I was a sneezing machine. I also got a smoothie for my throat. I'm glad I went though. The Pastor was comparing our walk with God to running a Marathon with Him. It spoke to me.

I was feeling a little better when I got home and went to the pool. I had two glorious hours where I could breathe...ahhh...I even thought that maybe I could go for a walk afterwards. And then I had a hard time breathing when I walked across the street back home. I couldn't even cross the street. BAH!

The medicine was working and I was breathing, but I was just completely drained. My body was tired and still fighting something. I think I've well established that I am not a good sickie. It's frustrating. Especially frustrating because I was getting increasingly anxious about the job. I hadn't heard and quite frankly I was not able to start immediately if they called and offered it. So I'm anxious and I can't run or even walk to clear my mind. If there was chocolate anywhere in the vicinity it would be gone. The good news is that there was one box of junior mints and I have yet to touch them. I'm saving it as a treat if I go to the movies.

Today I woke up feeling much better. For the most part I have been able to breathe for much of the day. However, stuff is coming out of my head that is disgusting. Eww. I actually lost 2 pounds. I know it's not that much fluid that has come out of my nose, but ha it's darn close. 

Tomorrow is going to be a challenge. I feel like I should be able to go out and do things tomorrow. I did not hear anything today either. I'm choosing to believe that no news is good news right now. I have to think positively right now, because otherwise I will be finding a reason to stop for some chocolate and that's just not cool.

I have spent 5 days with the Former Fat Girl in my head telling me that I wasn't good enough. That they didn't want me. If I don't get it position, I need to stay focused. If I don't get this then there's something else better for me out there. I can't let the Former Fat Girl get to me.

I really hope the I physically feel better tomorrow because I just can't rest with the Fat Girl looming in my head anymore. It's time for her to go. Plus, I have a marathon to be training for :-)

Have a Blessed Night

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