Sunday, June 23, 2013

My was melting so I had to make changes

Happy Sunday Bleeps!

And a happy Sunday it is.  Many times I know what my post will be about before I start writing it. Sometimes it just takes on a life of it's own. I have had several topics that I have wanted to discuss for a little while, but 5 minutes ago I decided to change the subject.

My life has been a little crazy of late. You know that. Studying. Traveling. Training. Work. Fatigue. Stress. No time to breathe. You get the idea. Well if you've been with me for a while, you also know that I have OCD. I'm not Monk-like, but I do have my issues. I need a schedule. I need order. Well I have been put to the test these past couple of months. I suppose I did okay. And I know some of you will say that I am too hard on myself (that's for another post haha). I did okay, but I could have done better.

This weekend was my first event-free weekend since April. It was my recharge weekend. And oh man did I need it.

So what happens with my OCD if I don't have my schedule and order? My anxiety is high. Little things drive me crazy and put me in a bad mood. Most people can have clutter in their car and it won't bother them. If I had dust on my dashboard it aggravates me. Seriously. And what does it take to fix that? 30 seconds? I practically live in my car so I cannot stand when it's cluttered. I have a little dust buster so that I can vacuum it out if I have to.  Compared to other people's cars mine was still in good shape, but to me it was as if someone has been living in it for a year.

Today after church I stopped and went to the car wash...ahhh...and I vacuumed it out. Now I have a small car and I don't have children. The vacuum runs for 4 minutes. I have never timed out. I timed out today. But, I felt sooo good when I was driving home. It's seriously the little things that make a difference. This stop took 10 minutes. It helps me relax. So why the heck could I not do this before?

Yesterday I wanted to do so much. I wanted to sleep in. I wanted to get up early and go for a walk. I wanted to get up early and study then go for a walk. I wanted to clean. I wanted to do laundry. I wanted to stay in bed and read all day.  I had to decide what was most important.

Have you ever felt like your brain was melting? I have. And so I set my alarm. I would be allowed to sleep in a little, but I would not be able to lose half a day to sleep.  So I set my alarm for 9. It was a nice compromise. The problem is that I had opened my window Friday night because it was cool out and was woken at 8am. The neighbors were having a yard sale. OH COME ON!

Fine. I will use this as my reading time. So I pulled out my kindle and read for a little while.  And then I had a decision to make. I wanted to spend some time in the sun. Should I take my study books to the park and study there? Should I just plan on going for a walk (remember, no running until July...and I'm actually sticking to that :-)?  I opted for walking the neighborhood. But, first I had to finish the activity section of the chapter.

Then I grabbed my water and headed out. I was going to just do an hour, but then I thought "what the heck else am I doing besides studying today?" So I stayed out there for 90 minutes. And this was another good reward for me. My walking mile time has definitely improved. Pretty excited about that. It was also a nice reminder of what I have been training for all of this time. I have always called myself an Endurance Walker. I like to run. But, I'm not fast by any means. And that frustrates me a lot. I like when my time improves, but it's not that easy. So to remind myself of that was nice. I did a little over 6 miles and the good thing was that mile 6 was my fastest mile (my first couple are always a little slow getting started). I'm good with that.

The other fun thing is that the faster I walked, the more intune with my muscles I became. I was focusing on each one as they moved. Seriously, get out there and power walk. It incorporates so many muscles. It's a good thing.

Okay, so after my hot and sweaty walk, yes, I got a little color, but I was lotioned up so I did not burn., I finished my chapter. I did not do so well on my quiz. I was very frustrated. So I went to Starbucks. I took my kindle and sat outside with an unsweetened iced green tea. I finished my book and took the time to relax.

When I got home I went back over the quiz and started making flashcards for the areas where I need to focus. I felt a little better.

After I got my car washed today I stopped at Starbucks to study a little before coming home. I stayed for an hour. I had another green tea and then my treat when I was done studying was a tall mocha-light frappacino with peppermint to go. 130 calories!

I had planned on studying for another hour before starting my chores. I had cleaned a little yesterday, but I still had some stuff to do. But, I couldn't take it. I knew that I would not be able to sit knowing that I had stuff to do. So I flash cleaned. I gave myself an hour. I was a whirling dervish. But, I got it done and back to studying I went.

I thought about my study habits and realized they obviously weren't working for me. So I made some adjustments and completed another chapter today. And I scored a 100% on my quiz tonight. It was the WIN I needed. It gave me the boost that I needed.

I had given myself an incentive. I would like to go to the beach next weekend and hang out with a friend from college that I haven't seen in about 18 years. But, I could not go if I didn't get a lot of studying done. Basically, I finished 2 chapters this weekend. If I can get a third in by Friday then I am allowed to go. I think I can do it. And then I can relax in the sand. Because nothing, and I mean NOTHING relaxes me more than the sound of the ocean.

So this past week put me back in my routine and I was able to clean and restore order to my life for a little while. What a difference that makes.

Oh and of course I had the race on while I was studying. Tony Stewart didn't win *insert sad face*. But I still love him!  Tony Stewart CALL ME!

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

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yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

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