Agility Part 2-Holding myself back: mentally and physically

Hello Beautiful People,

So one of the problems that I am having right now is that by the time I sit and write my blog posts I am tired and not firing on all cylinders. I know what I mean in my head, but it doesn't always translate on paper.

As a follow up to last night's post about my lack of Agility and Balance I want to say that my head knows that I'm doing well and that I will be a kick ass trainer. It's when the Former Fat Girl gets in my head that we have a problem.  As hard as I try to get rid of her she is always there lurking and creeping. 

She's scared.

Whenever I have a personal triumph or a good moment she starts whispering in my head "You can't do that and you know it." Even though I just did it. The closer and closer I get to my goals the more desperate she is getting. I would love to say that I can envision a day when she will be gone for good, but honestly I don't think she will be. And part of me hopes that she isn't. As frustrating as she can be, she is a good reminder for me. She is a reminder of what happens when you give up. She is a reminder of what happens when you eat whatever you want and lay around all day. She is a reminder of what happens when you don't believe in yourself.

Okay, so now let's talk about why I am not agile. My knee. I live in fear of the twist. Every move I make, I literally envision planting my foot and twisting my knee. I've had a couple close calls and you may remember my recap of the horrible concrete step incident of 2011, of which I still have the scars on both knees.

When we do drills with pivoting I can do it just fine...and then I am swollen and in pain for the next two days. When jumping is involved I do not give it 100 percent. It's more like 50 percent. The pounding hurts.  My body wants to try the moves, but my brain screams NO. It knows the pain that is coming later.

Last night I watched one of my favorite movies: What about Bob. I am taking two things from it. One: I am taking a vacation from my problems. haha. Two: Baby Steps. That's what I'm going to do regarding Balance and Agility. I am taking baby steps. Remember, I am still in training for the Philly Rock'N'Roll Half marathon. I cannot risk injury. I WILL NOT risk injury. But, working on the agility will also help my running. So I just have to be smart about it.

Alright kids, tonight sort of got away from me. I was late to the gym because I was having a phone therapy session with a friend tonight. The good news is that I think it helped both of us. haha. But, that was the beginning of a chain of events. I didn't get out of the shower until late. I want to go to the beach this weekend so I need to study a little before bed.

Have a Blessed Night.

I signed up with Run for Autism again :-)

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-henderson-6/RNRPhilly13


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