Hello my Lovelies and Gents,
I'm just going to get right down to it. Today was one of those days when I felt like my brain was melting. Ever have one of them? Everything just felt like it was caving in on me.
I'm plain old stressed. I'm trying to get everything in. Work. Gym. Blog. Study. Travel. Family. Friends. Packing. Oh yeah, I'm moving. I'm mostly really excited about it, but it's not exactly the best timing for me. I would really like for it to be after I get certified. Instead I feel like I'm just short of certifiable right now.
As if my life wasn't busy enough I am packing one bin/box/bag per night. I'm trying to make this as smooth as possible. It's a good thing, but it's a stressful thing. I'm moving about an hour away. That means my bad commute is about to get even worse. It means I have to switch gyms and most likely churches. It's a lot of change. And for someone who needs routine and structure, it's freaking me out. I've moved plenty of times. But, I've never been this close to my goal before.
This weekend I was talking with my future roomie and I finally let out all of my fears. What if I can't find my routine? What if I start to gain the weight? The extra commute is not exactly helpful. I'm going to need to be extra efficient on sundays with my meal planning. I am most definitely going to need to add that second day of rest just for my sanity. I'm also going to need to cut back on the blog a little for the next couple of months. And that scares me. It's how I hold myself accountable. I try to give myself 1 day off a week and I know the last couple of weekends have been blog-free, but that's not usual. I"m going to need to add another day off. Five a week should be fine I suppose.
Tonight I felt like I was buried under my to do list. And even though yesterday was my day of rest, I had to make today one too. Besides, pizza night got moved to tonight because of the holiday last week. Up until I was two miles from the gym I was still planning to go. Then I thought of that pizza and my stress and I did not trust myself. So instead I pulled over and did my quick grocery shopping that I desperately needed to do this week.
It's sort of a miracle that I didn't fill my cart with chocolate. Instead, I treated myself to another new sports bra...I know right! It's so exciting. I tried to run a few more errands, but they were failed missions so I'll have to scatter them throughout the week.
Tonight my goal was to get some packing done and give myself a mani/pedi. I needed some relaxation time. I needed some deep breathing. I needed some ME time.
I didn't get to study like I wanted last night. I'm getting aggravated with myself. I WANT this so bad, but I seem to find reasons not to study at every corner. I mean I haven't exactly figured out how I'm paying for this exam yet, so I suppose there's no hurry, but I want to be ready! I want to help people! That's a whole different stress...getting started. But, I'll deal with that later. One thing at a time.
So Fitness Competition Arch Nemesis Ryan (FCANR) and I were talking about the Half Marathon coming up on Sunday. We were putting together our training schedules for the week. We also compared corrals and Mr. Thing will probably be home on the couch before I cross the finish line. That's okay though. My knee got busted up last week and my blister is still really bothering me. I'm not even going to try and run. I thought about it long and hard on Saturday. I don't really get into Philly that often, so I'm going to just kick back and relax and enjoy my walking tour. I am even going to try and take pictures with my phone. It's one thing I wish I had done for the last one. I'm not competing with anyone. I'm not competing with myself. I just want to enjoy the day. Hopefully I can just clear my mind and enjoy the moment. That's what it's all about. It's a 13 mile party. I just want to have some fun with it.
I had people that were going to run with me, but I'm on my own. I may be on my own driving in and driving out so I really do need to keep it to a walk. I need to be able to walk back to my car after. I have Monday off and I'm planning on going back to that new Pedicure place and letting them have at it massaging my legs...and then I can study.
Okay, my feet are requiring my attention so I'm going to sign off and pretty them up. I'm going to with pink since Heather and I are doing the Turn The Riverfront Pink Breast Cancer 5K in Wilmington on Thursday night...oh I got myself a pretty neon pink shirt just for the occasion...and now my nails need to match.
Have a blessed night.
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and
you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will
do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several
times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.