Tuesday, November 18, 2014

2014 is my Life Do-Over year

Hello my Lovelies and Gents,

I recently finished reading Divergent.  I won’t give any spoilers, but I wanted to bring something up. At one point people are forced to face their deepest fears. It is advised that in order to defeat them, they need to figure out what they really represent.

For years I suffered from nightmares. YEARS. They were always a little different, but the theme was the same. I would be on the shortest beach ever and a giant tsunami (before I even knew what a tsunami was) was coming at me.

Sometimes there would be a couple of weeks between them, but mostly I would have them once a week. During some really bad times I would have them every night. It made it hard to want to go to sleep. I would wake up in a cold sweat with my heart pounding. This happened all of the time. ALL of the time.

Every now and then I would look it up in dream books or online. There are many different interpretations, but mostly they point to the intense feeling of anxiety or feeling overwhelmed.
I have not had one nightmare since I left the corporate world. To me this says so much. It took me a lifetime to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. It took me forever to find my passion. Once I did the nightmares intensified. That’s when they became more frequent.  I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t know how to get there.

Right now I am dealing with some stress. I would like more clients right now. I need to keep training for the marathon. I have come so far and I can't give up now. Things are a little tight. That's a little stressful.  The crazy thing is that I couldn’t be happier. I am finally doing what I am meant to do. I finally can’t wait to wake up every morning, no matter how early it is. I don’t cry myself to sleep every night anymore.  I found my happy place.

I was slowly dying inside for years. I put on my happy face for the world, but I was miserable. I knew that this year would be difficult. It’s my transition year. It’s my Life Do-Over year. I knew it would be a tight year, and that’s okay. It’s worth it. This is the year that I took back my life. This is the year that I pursued my biggest dreams. This is the year that I really and truly believed in myself. And after a lifetime of not having faith in myself it’s been worth the wait.  

Now if I could just get Tony Stewart to call...
Have a Blessed Evening.

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