Monday, November 10, 2014

Bouncing back from Mental setbacks

Hello Beautiful People,

It’s pretty clear that this year has been dedicated to training for the Marathon.  It has been an unbelievable journey with lots of ups and downs. Three weeks ago it was a huge up when I finished 22 miles. And then it’s been full of downs.

My knee was bothering me for a while. I was stressed out about money. I got busy. I thought I was getting sick. I was tired. My training suffered a little. I barely got my mileage in for October and I felt it. I have been a bottomless pit for food for months…but, not so much the last few weeks. Clearly my body wasn’t burning the calories it had gotten used to. 

The Former Fat Girl has had a field day in my head lately. 

I have sacrificed so much to train for this. I am so close. The Former Fat Girl was the best at Self Sabotage. I think she has been working a little too hard lately.

Today I got out there for 13+ miles. I REALLY needed it. Not just physically, but I needed it mentally. I needed to know that I didn’t lose ground. 

I didn’t push it too hard, but I didn’t slack off either. I wanted to run half and walk half. I would be able to gauge my run and not exhaust my knee too much. 

*My running was great. No problems.
*No knee issues (the patella strip feels like it’s working)
*No tight hamstrings
*Still felt good at the end of 13. Not tired at all.
*My toes on my good foot started to bother me on mile 5.
*When I slowed down on mile 6 to rest my toes, my brain started thinking about all things emotional. Started crying.
*Crying makes breathing difficult.
*On mile 8 the police came to check out something in that park…slightly distracting
*Dropped my lip balm in the gravel before I got to use it. Had to use it after trying to wipe the gravel off.
*Totally overheated. I drank 40 oz of water during, but was still way hot.

The best part of today was a big reminder that training works and the body responds. I know I have logged my miles. I have put the time in. I may have had a little extra rest time the past few weeks, but my body has also been very exhausted. So hopefully it has been for the best. 

When people say that Marathons are a Mental Game, well that ain’t no joke.  You truly have no idea what you are getting in to. Half marathons are tough, but they ain’t got nothing on Fulls. There is the mental game of believing in yourself.  There is the mental game of believing in your body. There is the mental game of not getting too sidetracked and then lose your focus. There is the mental game of not getting too emotional. Good Lord, I cry during almost every distance run. That doesn’t make breathing any easier.

Today I started to really think about why these races in Rehoboth are so important to me. I love my friends and family and I have close and special relationships with many of them. But, nothing compares to the relationship between me and my Pop-Pop. He passed away during my senior year in college. He only knew the Former Fat Girl. I spent many summers in Rehoboth with him and so I think of him often during these races. I think of him looking down and being proud of me.  I started sobbing.  And I wasn’t even halfway through. The crying hurt my breathing and held me back for a mile. 

My pace today was very good for the first 8 miles. It generally is. I started to slow down though. Part was planned and part was circumstances. I didn’t want to mess my knee up, but part of me really wanted to push. My time wasn’t the best, but I tried not to get discouraged. Race day is different. It will be different to have other people there running with. The adrenaline will be insane. 

My goal for 2015 is to increase my speed for short distances. My speed for long distances hasn’t increased. If anything I feel like it has gotten worse because I train for such long distances. I have to reserve my energy. I have to think about the state of my body for hours upon hours. What if something happens and it takes me the full 7 hours? Have you ever done anything physically taxing by yourself for 7 hours straight? Since it is a possibility that is what I am preparing my body for.  That has made for some very long days.

Tonight I had a client consultation.  I love that I didn’t even think twice that I would be fine after today’s distance. So clearly I didn’t doubt myself too much. 

The moral of today’s story is that if you are having a bad day, week, or month don’t get discouraged. If you are in a regular routine, then your body will remember. It may not bounce back to the condition it was in previously, but it will bounce. Don’t give up on yourself.

Have a Blessed Evening

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support. 

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