Hello my Lovelies and Gents,
Well we are now on Day 7 of no sweets...and I haven't killed anyone yet so Go Me!
It has not been a fun week. Not fun at all. I have craved sweets and sugar something awful. I know it sounds like a joke, but I understand how a crack addict feels going through withdrawal. I can't take it.
I literally am battling the thoughts to go get something sweet every waking minute of every day. I have avoided going shopping because I do not trust myself not to buy a white chocolate reeses Easter egg at the register. I need shower gel. It's getting serious. I need to go to the store. I'm waiting until this weekend though. It's Eat Anything I Want Weekend. I don't want to eat sweets because I feel that it would negate all of the progress I have made, but if I'm going to do it, it's going to be after my race.
Every where that I am going to pick up food they have cookies at the register: Subway, Saladworks, Starbucks, and Peace A Pizza. I want to hurt someone I want one so bad. I have walked away and I'm super proud...however, what I just realized (I swear I didn't figure this out before now) is that I'm compensating with root beer and cherry coke. Not always. But rather than get green tea, water, or a diet soda I have indulged in them a couple of times. See how hard this is to kick for me.
The other day I was walking down the driveway and found a dark chocolate hershey kiss laying off to the side. It was still wrapped. It would be a lie if I said that I didn't think about it. A BIG lie. I threw it out though.
You know all of those quizzes out there what "blank" are you? Well last night I took one to see what cookie I am...that's how crazy I am. I am a ginger cookie because of my sass. hahaha.
I'm not just giving up sweets for Lent. I know that's what people are thinking. I'm hoping that this will get it out of my system. I have let too much of them back into my routine and I don't like it. I'm still struggling with my belly and I know that is a major contributor. The volume that I have been eating pales in comparison to what the Former Fat Girl ate, but it's still way more than I am comfortable with. Perhaps one day I will go back to the "one treat a week" deal that I made myself a couple of years ago. I hope I can get there. I really want to kick this addiction before the Cruise...it could get VERY dangerous for me.
The other night my cousin made her nutella and strawberry pastries. I could smell them upstairs. I practically had to belt myself in to keep from getting one. I had a dream about them last night...it's getting out of hand.
I know part of it is the physical addiction to sugar. But, the other part of it is the stress eating. I stress eat sweets. I'm trying to turn it into stress knitting right now...so far that hasn't done the trick.
I signed up for a race with Heather for next month...they practically throw chocolate at you for it...I think I may be crazy.
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