Last week I had a hair meltdown. I was ready go straight from work and chop my hair. I really want to grow out my hair for Locks of Love again, but I was really really unhappy with my hair of late.
So I put the question out there on facebook. I knew how my wording was. I wanted people to talk me into growing it out. And pretty much every vote was to grow it...except for my mom who has been pushing for me to cut it for months. She loves my hair short.
It didn't work. I was still ready to go chop my hair. I wasn't feeling well and headed straight home after work. The plan was formulating in my head to just pull over and cut it. I shower at night and so in the morning I just wet my hair then dry and style it. It's not the same. It doesn't look as good. I end up putting it in little pony tails most days. Which is ironic since pony tails are what I missed most with my short hair.
I talked myself down off the ledge though. I decided to pick up some hair color and lighten it up. Generally that makes me feel better. If I still had the urge to cut my hair after the coloring then I would do it.
The X factor in this is that I was going for my passport photo the next day too. This would be my photo for the next 10 years. On then there's the cruise..I want nice hair for the cruise! I want easy hair for the cruise.
Easy...Not only is my short hair cute, it's also easy. I'm struggling with time right now. Clearly the fact that days go by between blog posts right now ought to tell you that. So easy hair would be a bonus.
What I keep going back to though is something that Ken Paves said on the Makeover episode of the Biggest Loser this Season. He inferred that sometimes if you don't make a change when our body is changing than you will always see the old you. And I think that's true. The longer my hair gets the more I feel like I'm taking steps backwards. I see photos of my short hair and my face and body look so small. I see photos of my longer hair and I see a bigger face and a bigger body. Not even by that much, but enough to make me feel like that's me now. Right now my association with longer hair is with The Former Fat Girl.
I colored my hair Saturday morning and I trimmed my bangs. I looked good. I will keep it long for now. I know Locks of love is a good thing. I really do want to do it again, but if the risk is a mental set back, then I will be cutting it for my sanity. Right now it's staying long until at lease April when my schedule changes.
Have a Blessed Night
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If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.