Thursday, January 15, 2015

Stupid toenail...fall off already!

Hello My Lovelies and Gents,

So let’s talk Toenails. I mentioned before that I will be losing my toenail on my big toe. It’s been over a month since the marathon and it’s still hanging in there. I can’t believe it’s taken this long.

Okay so let’s go back to how this all started. I could feel the burning in my toe on mile 13. I had made the last minute decision to switch back to my older sneakers because I was feeling pain in my foot at the base of my toes in the newer bigger sneakers. Now I had gotten thicker socks because the sneakers felt a little big. It wasn’t a huge difference, but it makes a big difference for 26 miles. I wasn’t thinking and wore those socks with the slightly smaller sneakers. My feet were swelling and my toe was rubbing against the front.

Now, before I go on I will disclose that I will be including pictures further below. So if you don’t want to see them you might want to call it a day and come back tomorrow.

Immediately after the race my toe was killing me. The next few days it was so sensitive that I couldn’t wear shoes. I had to go buy slippers because everything else was too much pressure. It was awful. My legs were fine after a day, but the simple act of putting on socks was torture.

On my way home a couple of days after the race I was on the phone with a friend. I mentioned what was going on and her response was “Was it worth it?” My immediate response was “OH HELL YEAH IT WAS!” I would sacrifice every toenail for the feeling for that first 26.2.  It made me sad that she asked that. It was like she was channeling the Former Fat Girl. That would have been one of the many excuses not to even try. This saddens me to no end. The Former Fat Girl would use pain and discomfort as an excuse. It’s such a joke because she was in pain and discomfort all of the time. Backaches. Slumped and tight shoulders. Knee problems. Hip issues. Losing a toenail sucks, but when you weigh it against everything I accomplished it was well worth the sacrifice. Would I do it again? In a Heartbeat!

So the evolution of the toenail went from so sensitive I couldn’t stand it to slightly bearable a few days later. The race was on a Saturday. It was not until Wednesday that I could wear sneakers. And even then there was no running. I can get over the loss of the nail, but I still wince at how it kept me from running and even walking.

 The first week it was red and purple around the nail. It was so irritated.

And as the week went on the toe started to swell below the nail. This pushed it up so high that you could literally see where it ended below the cuticle.

I soaked it just about every day. I put on nail polish to make it as pretty as possible. And then it went numb. I literally couldn’t feel anything. You could have stabbed it and I wouldn’t have felt it.

Once the swelling went down the bruising started. It is now black under the nail. I am reduced to only dark nail polish colors. You could still see it under red.

The nail is dead and has stopped growing. At this point the new nail is going to need to push it off. This thought grosses me out to no end, but I will live. I just remember this when I think about it:

Some days it doesn’t bother me at all, but other days it announces it’s presence with authority *bonus points if you can tell me what movie that is from. Here’s your hint: Baseball

Last weekend I went to my book club in the morning. I was dressed in my running gear and went straight to the park after. I had no issues all morning. And then in the short time it took to walk from the car to the bathroom I was ready to cry. It was throbbing. And so I went home. I went home pissed off.

Tuesday I went for a run. It was my first real run in what felt like forever. I was fine the whole time. Not so much when it was over. My toe was screaming. I’m trying to take it easy. It’s still healing, but it’s now working my last nerve…which is a bit ironic I think.

Okay kids, I am ready for bed. I walked today and it’s been fine, so I will attempt a run in the morning. Let’s see how it goes shall we.

Have a Blessed Evening

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support. 
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