Thursday, January 22, 2015

Post Christmas Depression/Winter Blues

Happy Thursday Bleeps,

It kind of stinks when the post Christmas depression coincide with the winter blues. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Putting my Christmas decorations away makes me so sad I can’t stand it. Pair that with naked trees, cold air, and rain and well it’s not good. Thank goodness I moved to North Carolina.

Not being around my family throughout the whole holiday season was sad for me.  It was hard. That played with my brain. Plus I had a post race depression that I was dealing with. I had spent the previous 6 months devoting my life to training and it was over. The trees are naked. It’s a little colder. Continuous rainy days aren’t helping. I had a hard time getting out of bed for a few weeks.

Now in full disclosure my hormones were completely out of whack. My Lady Gift was very off and messing with me. It was not good for me mentally. I spent way too many hours in front of the tv. I have books to read. I have workouts to do. I have scarves to knit. But instead, I was eating chocolate and vegging in front of the tv.

I was having day after day of out of body experiences. My brain was Screaming “GET UP!”, but my body was not responding. I mean I can’t even tell you the number of episodes of Criminal Minds that I have watched recently. And you know they are uplifting.

When I had to get up and go out for whatever reason I immediately felt better. This happened many times, and yet that never registered in my brain that I should do it. I just wanted to shut down and do nothing.

My workouts suffered. I still got some in, but not quite the ones that I wanted. For goodness sakes, my livelihood depends on me being fit. I can’t afford to slack off as much as I did. Some of it was necessary, but some of it was not.

For the most part of 2014 my lady gift was nice and light. All of that training helped. This past month it was so heavy I was drained of energy. It held me back a little. My toe nail held me back a little. But, that doesn’t excuse the other days. I am not going to hit 100 miles this month. I’m pretty pissed at myself about that.  I mean REALLY PISSED at myself.

Thank goodness I am going to be running the Cleveland Marathon. I need it as my motivation. I mean I NEED it. My training this week had shown me just how much I have not done. I’m fine walking long distances, but even short runs are hurting. It’s time to get back in the game.

Luckily the weather has been simply amazing this past week. It’s made it very easy to want to get out there. This morning I had a session in the park with a client. It was 40 degrees and sunny at 9 am when we started. By the time it was 10 the sun went behind clouds and the temperature dropped to 30. I needed to get in at least 3 miles today. The Former Fat Girl has been making her presence known this past month. She was lobbying for me to leave. I knew that I could talk myself into at least one mile. And then while I was on it I would be able to talk myself into two more. And then I got a text from my Running Buddy and she was on her way. Hooray! 

So we ran for two miles then walked one. By the end of the second mile we were breathing hard. I was nervous. I wasn’t wearing my running pants. I wasn’t wearing my patella strip. I was wearing my old reeboks that I want to bring back out for short distances, but worried about my arch. We high fived though and felt so good. The sun had come out and we had a great final mile just breathing in the nice air and enjoying ourselves. 

It is very frustrating when your brain is your biggest enemy. I've said it before and I will say it again, the mental battle is the toughest. I'm thankful that I can recognize when it's happening and I can pull myself out of it. It may take longer than I want, but my desire is too great. I won't let the Former Fat Girl win!

I think I’ve kicked the blues! Thank goodness because I have work to do.

Have a Blessed Evening

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support. 
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