Happy Sunday Bleeps,
I still have another Cruise post or two to write, but right now I have some other things on my mind.
When is it okay to put yourself first?
I am a helper. I surround myself with helpers. We tend to put other people's needs before our own. For the most part it's a wonderful quality to have. However, the sacrifices we make can be too much. What suffers? Our physical health. Our mental health. We help so much that putting ourselves first stresses us out.
The Former Fat Girl neglected her physical health. This girl neglects her mental health. All of the changes that I am about to embark on are things that I want. Things that I need. It's finally time to put me first. The problem is that it's very hard to walk away when there are still situations that I want to help with. It's unfinished business. Except that it will never be finished. One will get better and another will pop up. If I wait for it to be the perfect time to leave and make my changes then I will never leave. That's what's kept me here for so many years. That's what's kept me from living the life that I want. I put everyone else first before my own needs. It's time to be a little selfish.
I have to be selfish. The stress of the guilt of leaving is killing me. I may be running long distances and my belly continues to shrink...but, I also am self sabotaging with some extra unneeded calories for no other reason than I am a freakin stress eater.
This weekend was a lovely weekend at the beach. I love the beach. I LOVE the beach. The original plan was to be gone long before the summer. This makes it harder. Bah. Makes it easier to think that I should stay and try to keep helping...but, here's a little secret, I can help everywhere I go. So it's time to put on my big girl panties and go where I want.
Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? Do you know how Cristina and Meredith dance it out? On her last episode Cristina couldn't leave. Meredith, who didn't really want her to leave, had to practically put her on a plane and fly her to Switzerland. She couldn't leave. Things were unfinished. I cried and cried and cried. I completely identified. She could finally leave after she and Meredith danced it out one last time. I need someone to dance it out with me!
Have a Blessed Evening
If you feel like you
are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for
you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the
words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if
you have support.