Saturday, May 24, 2014

I Can't....No longer in my vocabulary

Happy Saturday Bleeps,

So here we are just over 6 months away from the Marathon. Six months away and my knees hate me. Every night they scream at me "Why are you doing this to us???"

Yesterday I went to Shippensburg University to see cousin Hannah and her 4 x 400 relay team compete in State Championships. We didn't get there until later in the day as hers is the last event. As soon as we sat down I regretted not getting there earlier. I forgot how much I love track and field. I could have stayed all day even if I didn't know anyone competing.

Back in high school I ran one event in track. I ran the 100 and my knee hurt like heck. And so I stopped. It's not surprising as I was completely out of shape. I remember how much I hated the mile in gym class. I was at the end of the pack. I never exercised except for walking to and from school. I wasn't conditioned. So how the heck did I think I could run the 100? hahaha that was funny. But, let's face it, that's the shortest distance and about you could get out of me. I became the track manager for the rest of high school. I loved going to the track every day. Oh how I wanted to be like everyone out there running. But, the Former Fat Girl didn't believe in herself. I Can't. That became her motto. Rather than practice to get better, she got defeated when she couldn't do anything.

I watched these girls yesterday and was in awe. I would give anything to be that fast. I would give anything to be that in shape. I'll get there though...well not that fast. Although I will never be that young again.

The one thing that I always secretly admired and thought was the most amazing thing was a Marathon. The idea of someone putting their body through 26 miles when I could barely walk a mile without feeling defeated was huge.

I have completed 7 Half Marathons. Can't is no longer in my vocabulary. Now don't get me wrong, I have no intention of finishing more than one Full Marathon. But, I will finish one. I would really like it to be this one because my body hates me. But, I'm doing this because I want to finish. And I want to finish in one piece. I don't want to be carted off. I don't want my body to give out with a mile left. I want to finish. And I will.

Right now that means a lot of distances and a lot of pavement...both are not exactly good for the knee. And so I seem to have a rest day between each run/walk. And that's okay. I really want this to be injury free too.

Today I got up and went to the park. It's a beautiful Saturday morning and the sun was shining. I did 12 miles on Thursday and then was very stiff yesterday. That's what happens when train later in the day. I had a long drive yesterday and then sat on bleachers for 4 hours. It was a bit rough. I would have loved for a longer distance today, but my knee was stiff and I wanted to  keep it light. I got in a little over 5 miles.  I was happy with that.

I am so proud of those girls yesterday. What I wouldn't give to have a Do Over and go back in time and tell myself that I CAN!

Have a Blessed Evening

****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.

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