Finding myself again in 2019 - Part 1
Hello My Lovelies and Gents,
Well a new year is upon us and so far it's been a good reboot for me. The past two years have been really difficult. I've been sad and grieving and just not really focusing on me. However, I had a really good Christmas and it has really uplifted me.
I was fully prepared to just crash and burn over Christmas. I have felt very overwhelmed this past year and I was not very optimistic about Christmas. The past two have just plain sucked. Two years ago Mom-Mom was in hospice in the dining room during Christmas and passed away 4 days later. And last year was our first Christmas without her and Dad. It was pretty much a fog for me. I was really hoping that this year would be better, but my Grief share class prepared me for the perils of Year 2. In some ways it is worse than year 1. The shock has worn off and the sadness of the new reality hits. I went into self preservation mode.
I did my best to decorate and get in the mood, but I didn't put out everything. There were some bins of decorations that I never even opened. I didn't watch all of my favorite movies or listen to all of my music like usual. I didn't give out all of the Christmas cards that I usually do. I know I did more than the average person, but it was still only a fraction of what I used to do. Outwardly I was trying really hard, but inwardly I was struggling. Maybe there was a little part of me that was depressed that we weren't on our long planned cruise (well I know that was part of it), but there was a bigger part that just didn't want to celebrate another year without them.
I'm not sure what happened or when it happened, but things started to shift. I really made an effort to spend time with my friends before I for my break. I became obsessed with going to Carowinds for Winterfest. I didn't get a chance to go last year and I desperately needed to go this year. The weather didn't cooperate though. We finally got to go and it warmed my heart. I love Christmas lights and it did not disappoint. I even got to ride one last roller coaster in 2018. That could have helped. Or perhaps it was knowing that I would be home for 10 days. If anyone has needed some extended family time it was me. I had a lot planned and couldn't wait to see my friends and family
I did get a little nervous about the food situation while I would be gone. Traveling hasn't been the easiest. I packed a sandwich and vegetables for the ride up, but then I stopped at Trader Joe's looking for the salad that I liked for dinner. They didn't have it, but they had 3 others that I was interested in. So I got them. I ate one for dinner. I ate one as soon as we got to the family Christmas party. And I ate one the next night. I definitely got my share of veggies in. Yay. I was feeling good.
I had even gotten a really nice outfit to wear to the party. Well actually I got it to wear to a wedding the following weekend, but it was nice for both occasions. I ordered a poncho. I know what you are thinking, but it is really nice It looks like the Burberry plaid. I planned to pair it with a black turtleneck and black leggings. I got lots of compliments. I looked good and it made me feel good. That has been half the battle. I'll freely admit that I haven't really put an effort into looking nice for a while. Although my braids are super cute.
While I was in the Philadelphia area I was definitely going to hit my favorite places. I always loved getting hoagies at Wawa. Mom really likes their cheese hoagies, so I got one too. I loved the whole wheat roll option and I loved the grilled veggies on it. I'm still a little sad that I somehow didn't have a soft pretzel. That can be forgiven though because I had the macdaddy of all yummies. On Christmas Eve I went back to my old neighborhood to hang out with Ms. Kristin and the kiddos Zach and Caroline. They were gracious enough to run around attempting to shop with me for hours while I looked for Eagles hoodies. I didn't find one that I liked, but that was soon forgotten as we ordered Double Decker Inside Out Pizzas...oh my stars I was in heaven. Have you seen 'What About Bob?' There is a scene where Bill Murray is eating dinner and just can't stop saying "Mmmm" That was me.
What About Bob clip
We stayed in Pennsylvania an extra night so that we could go to Christmas Eve Mass with Grandmom. I'm glad we did. It's always a special night. That also meant that we would have Christmas breakfast and Uncle Barney's before we got on the road. Oh it is my favorite meal of the year. Aunt Sarah makes the BEST breakfasts. There were two options: French Toast Casserole and an Egg/Biscuit Casserole. Both were meatless and both were heavenly. I also enjoyed the side of fresh fruit and our traditional Mimosas. Yum.
The day after Christmas didn't quite go as planned as my battery died and we had to get it jumped and then replaced. That's okay, it was a pretty relaxing day. Well we did go to Hallmark for their post Christmas sale. I found the most beautiful Snow Globe. I didn't even realize until I got home that it lights up. My preschool class was completely mesmerized by it. I want to write a Christmas Novel about it.
Isn't it pretty? Wait, where was I again? Oh yeah, so I needed to get shoes for the wedding. I got the crazy idea in my head that I wanted to get a pair of wedged booties. It would look cute, but I literally can't remember the last time I wore heels. I think it might have been at former Work Husband's wedding and well they have two kids now. But, I found the shoes and I fell in love with them. I wanted to break them in during an impromptu lunch in DC, but decided that wouldn't be wise.
The lunch was fantastic though. We went to Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe. I was happy to see a big brunch menu. There was an Avocado Toast on it. It was a little different than I usually make. The Avocado was on Naan with the eggs on top. There was also some chili flakes on the eggs. I almost asked them to hold the flakes, but I opted not to. I'm trying to be more adventurous.
It was delicious. I do regret not ordering the Bridget Jones Daiquiri. I will need to go back for that another time. Happily we did go into the bookstore and I found this little gem. It's two of my favorite things in one: France and Christmas.
Okay, I keep adding to the list of what I want to tell you so I'm going to make this a two parter and go get some rest. Thanks for coming back.
To Be Concluded...
Have a Blessed Evening,
Jennie
xoxo
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.
jhendersonfit@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir
yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)
Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973
Well a new year is upon us and so far it's been a good reboot for me. The past two years have been really difficult. I've been sad and grieving and just not really focusing on me. However, I had a really good Christmas and it has really uplifted me.
I was fully prepared to just crash and burn over Christmas. I have felt very overwhelmed this past year and I was not very optimistic about Christmas. The past two have just plain sucked. Two years ago Mom-Mom was in hospice in the dining room during Christmas and passed away 4 days later. And last year was our first Christmas without her and Dad. It was pretty much a fog for me. I was really hoping that this year would be better, but my Grief share class prepared me for the perils of Year 2. In some ways it is worse than year 1. The shock has worn off and the sadness of the new reality hits. I went into self preservation mode.
I did my best to decorate and get in the mood, but I didn't put out everything. There were some bins of decorations that I never even opened. I didn't watch all of my favorite movies or listen to all of my music like usual. I didn't give out all of the Christmas cards that I usually do. I know I did more than the average person, but it was still only a fraction of what I used to do. Outwardly I was trying really hard, but inwardly I was struggling. Maybe there was a little part of me that was depressed that we weren't on our long planned cruise (well I know that was part of it), but there was a bigger part that just didn't want to celebrate another year without them.
I'm not sure what happened or when it happened, but things started to shift. I really made an effort to spend time with my friends before I for my break. I became obsessed with going to Carowinds for Winterfest. I didn't get a chance to go last year and I desperately needed to go this year. The weather didn't cooperate though. We finally got to go and it warmed my heart. I love Christmas lights and it did not disappoint. I even got to ride one last roller coaster in 2018. That could have helped. Or perhaps it was knowing that I would be home for 10 days. If anyone has needed some extended family time it was me. I had a lot planned and couldn't wait to see my friends and family
I did get a little nervous about the food situation while I would be gone. Traveling hasn't been the easiest. I packed a sandwich and vegetables for the ride up, but then I stopped at Trader Joe's looking for the salad that I liked for dinner. They didn't have it, but they had 3 others that I was interested in. So I got them. I ate one for dinner. I ate one as soon as we got to the family Christmas party. And I ate one the next night. I definitely got my share of veggies in. Yay. I was feeling good.
I had even gotten a really nice outfit to wear to the party. Well actually I got it to wear to a wedding the following weekend, but it was nice for both occasions. I ordered a poncho. I know what you are thinking, but it is really nice It looks like the Burberry plaid. I planned to pair it with a black turtleneck and black leggings. I got lots of compliments. I looked good and it made me feel good. That has been half the battle. I'll freely admit that I haven't really put an effort into looking nice for a while. Although my braids are super cute.
While I was in the Philadelphia area I was definitely going to hit my favorite places. I always loved getting hoagies at Wawa. Mom really likes their cheese hoagies, so I got one too. I loved the whole wheat roll option and I loved the grilled veggies on it. I'm still a little sad that I somehow didn't have a soft pretzel. That can be forgiven though because I had the macdaddy of all yummies. On Christmas Eve I went back to my old neighborhood to hang out with Ms. Kristin and the kiddos Zach and Caroline. They were gracious enough to run around attempting to shop with me for hours while I looked for Eagles hoodies. I didn't find one that I liked, but that was soon forgotten as we ordered Double Decker Inside Out Pizzas...oh my stars I was in heaven. Have you seen 'What About Bob?' There is a scene where Bill Murray is eating dinner and just can't stop saying "Mmmm" That was me.
What About Bob clip
We stayed in Pennsylvania an extra night so that we could go to Christmas Eve Mass with Grandmom. I'm glad we did. It's always a special night. That also meant that we would have Christmas breakfast and Uncle Barney's before we got on the road. Oh it is my favorite meal of the year. Aunt Sarah makes the BEST breakfasts. There were two options: French Toast Casserole and an Egg/Biscuit Casserole. Both were meatless and both were heavenly. I also enjoyed the side of fresh fruit and our traditional Mimosas. Yum.
The day after Christmas didn't quite go as planned as my battery died and we had to get it jumped and then replaced. That's okay, it was a pretty relaxing day. Well we did go to Hallmark for their post Christmas sale. I found the most beautiful Snow Globe. I didn't even realize until I got home that it lights up. My preschool class was completely mesmerized by it. I want to write a Christmas Novel about it.
Isn't it pretty? Wait, where was I again? Oh yeah, so I needed to get shoes for the wedding. I got the crazy idea in my head that I wanted to get a pair of wedged booties. It would look cute, but I literally can't remember the last time I wore heels. I think it might have been at former Work Husband's wedding and well they have two kids now. But, I found the shoes and I fell in love with them. I wanted to break them in during an impromptu lunch in DC, but decided that wouldn't be wise.
The lunch was fantastic though. We went to Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe. I was happy to see a big brunch menu. There was an Avocado Toast on it. It was a little different than I usually make. The Avocado was on Naan with the eggs on top. There was also some chili flakes on the eggs. I almost asked them to hold the flakes, but I opted not to. I'm trying to be more adventurous.
It was delicious. I do regret not ordering the Bridget Jones Daiquiri. I will need to go back for that another time. Happily we did go into the bookstore and I found this little gem. It's two of my favorite things in one: France and Christmas.
Okay, I keep adding to the list of what I want to tell you so I'm going to make this a two parter and go get some rest. Thanks for coming back.
To Be Concluded...
Have a Blessed Evening,
Jennie
xoxo
****Please note****
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.
jhendersonfit@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir
yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)
Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973
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