A fresh wave of Grief: Saying goodbye to a Friend
Hello my Lovelies and Gents,
I hope this finds you warm and toasty. It's been a little cold lately, even here in North Carolina. LOL. Seriously though I have been sucking down hot chocolate and soup like crazy.
Life has been a little busy and emotional so I apologize for not writing earlier. I had fully intended to, but I got a little sad.
This weekend I attended a Memorial Service for a woman who came into my life at the most difficult time and helped me find peace and healing when I thought it wasn't possible. In all fairness she was battling cancer when I met her so this wasn't incredibly unexpected, but I didn't know that she had started Hospice so when I found out that she had passed away a week ago it was like I had been sucker punched.
Cheryl was with me the day that dad called to tell me his diagnosis. She comforted me and prayed with me. She was there with me the weekend that I left to go home for Dad's celebration of Life. She hugged me and prayed with me all weekend. She made me smile when I thought that I couldn't. She made me calm.
There was no way that I could miss her Memorial Service, but oh how I didn't want to go. I had severe anxiety all week. My stress eating of chocolate was off the charts. I was snappy and short on patience. I am apologizing right now to everyone who I was short with. You didn't know why, but it wasn't really directed at you.
The service was a couple hours away and I made plans with my friend Lindsay to ride together. I stopped on the way to her house to pick up some coffee and grabbed a couple protein bars since I wasn't sure what the food situation would be for the day. I found a new bar for me. It was a maple glazed protein bar. It was 20g of protein. I'm not going to lie, I moaned with pleasure the whole time that I ate it. Okay, so I washed it down with my Venti White Chocolate Raspberry Mocha. I won't apologize for that because it definitely made me happy.
On the way up Lindsay offered me some snacks that she had packed for me. Did I like radishes? Um...not really, but I'll try it. They weren't the radishes that I was used to. They were Daikon radishes. And I'm not on the hunt for them. They were so yummy. There was a little kick to them, but I liked them.
The Memorial Service was beautiful and so crowded. It was the right mixture of sad moments and joyous moments. We got to see lots of friends. I'm so glad I was able to be there. I wish I had planned better for the food though. I was starving by the time e got to the food. I had some cheese on a roll with some veggies on the side. And I may have had an oatmeal raisin cookie and half of a cupcake. I was still hungry after though and inhaled an order of french fries on the way home.
There was a lot more that happened this week to talk about, but this was what affected me most. This grief thing sucks and it's scary. Not everyone handles it the same and I'm definitely way more emotional about it than most people, but recognizing that it can affect you in many different ways is important. I didn't fight the food impulses last week. If I wanted chocolate then I ate it. If I wanted fries then I ate them. I'm a stress eater. It's how I cope. But, I'm strong enough these days to know when it's time to resist the impulse. I'm good now.
Have a Blessed Evening,
Jennie
xoxo
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.
jhendersonfit@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir
yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)
Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973
I hope this finds you warm and toasty. It's been a little cold lately, even here in North Carolina. LOL. Seriously though I have been sucking down hot chocolate and soup like crazy.
Life has been a little busy and emotional so I apologize for not writing earlier. I had fully intended to, but I got a little sad.
This weekend I attended a Memorial Service for a woman who came into my life at the most difficult time and helped me find peace and healing when I thought it wasn't possible. In all fairness she was battling cancer when I met her so this wasn't incredibly unexpected, but I didn't know that she had started Hospice so when I found out that she had passed away a week ago it was like I had been sucker punched.
Cheryl was with me the day that dad called to tell me his diagnosis. She comforted me and prayed with me. She was there with me the weekend that I left to go home for Dad's celebration of Life. She hugged me and prayed with me all weekend. She made me smile when I thought that I couldn't. She made me calm.
There was no way that I could miss her Memorial Service, but oh how I didn't want to go. I had severe anxiety all week. My stress eating of chocolate was off the charts. I was snappy and short on patience. I am apologizing right now to everyone who I was short with. You didn't know why, but it wasn't really directed at you.
The service was a couple hours away and I made plans with my friend Lindsay to ride together. I stopped on the way to her house to pick up some coffee and grabbed a couple protein bars since I wasn't sure what the food situation would be for the day. I found a new bar for me. It was a maple glazed protein bar. It was 20g of protein. I'm not going to lie, I moaned with pleasure the whole time that I ate it. Okay, so I washed it down with my Venti White Chocolate Raspberry Mocha. I won't apologize for that because it definitely made me happy.
On the way up Lindsay offered me some snacks that she had packed for me. Did I like radishes? Um...not really, but I'll try it. They weren't the radishes that I was used to. They were Daikon radishes. And I'm not on the hunt for them. They were so yummy. There was a little kick to them, but I liked them.
The Memorial Service was beautiful and so crowded. It was the right mixture of sad moments and joyous moments. We got to see lots of friends. I'm so glad I was able to be there. I wish I had planned better for the food though. I was starving by the time e got to the food. I had some cheese on a roll with some veggies on the side. And I may have had an oatmeal raisin cookie and half of a cupcake. I was still hungry after though and inhaled an order of french fries on the way home.
There was a lot more that happened this week to talk about, but this was what affected me most. This grief thing sucks and it's scary. Not everyone handles it the same and I'm definitely way more emotional about it than most people, but recognizing that it can affect you in many different ways is important. I didn't fight the food impulses last week. If I wanted chocolate then I ate it. If I wanted fries then I ate them. I'm a stress eater. It's how I cope. But, I'm strong enough these days to know when it's time to resist the impulse. I'm good now.
Have a Blessed Evening,
Jennie
xoxo
****Please note****
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.
jhendersonfit@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAFormerFatGir
yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)
Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: hugsnsmile
Instagram: Jennie5973
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