You know how when you're watching a movie with a delicious thing you start to imagine that it's you on that screen kissing them? And the next thing you know you're picturing yourself on the red carpet with them hardly able to believe that the gorgeous creature on your arm is madly in love with you. For me that's where it takes a nasty turn. Being fat even ruined my fantasies.
Here's how it goes:
I'm out to dinner with friends when I look over and there sits (Insert: Bradley Cooper, George Clooney, Keith Urban, Jake Owen, etc). I had heard he was in town to promote his (Insert: new movie, new cd). Our eyes meet and I start to blush all over. The waiter comes over and tells me that (Bradley, George, Keith, Jake) would like to buy my dinner and hands me a note. He's asking me to meet him after dinner.
Fast forward a week and we've spent a week traveling around the country together holding hands and canoodling. I've been on his arm for every event and every woman there is envious and jealous. We stand there gazing lovingly into each others eyes. My belly is all a flutter. Could this really be happening?
And speaking of bellies...that's when it happens. The picture in the tabloids says "Who is the fat girl with (Bradley, George, Keith, Jake)?"
Yep, that's all it takes. The dreaded F-word. Even in my fantasies I am fat. Seriously, I can picture myself with (Bradley, George, Keith, Jake), but I can't picture a flat belly? What is wrong with me? But that's how it is. That Fat Devil me on my shoulder is at it again. I have a better chance of hooking up with a movie star/singer than losing the weight.
I hate that Fat Devil. Even with most of the weight gone I still can't enjoy the good fantasy with an A-List guy...I have to settle for a C-Lister because I am so terrified of being called the dreaded F-word.
If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support.