Thursday, September 3, 2015

I'm back...and I'm cranky

Hello Beautiful People,

Do you remember me? OMG how long has it been?

So I had to step away for a little while because I had to crunch get my recertification credits in, you know because I waited until the last minute. Grr. Actually I have a lot that I got out if it that I want to talk to you about, just not tonight. Tonight I am in tears.

It's no secret that I have a bad knee. It's no secret that it's arthritis. Well between studying cross legged and a lot of jumping, well my knee is not in great shape. It doesn't help that I did a day course on osteoarthritis. I mean it's good because I learned some things that will help me. But, I also learned that some things I do are not so good. In fact, they are on the Big No No list.

For a couple weeks I was basically shut down. I worked and studied. There was no sleep. There were no workouts. I was stressing. We had a really fun 5k a couple of weeks ago that Heather even flew down for and I couldn't enjoy myself because I was so stressed about how much work I had to do. It didn't help that I didn't have my patella straps and the course was on a farm. It was so uneven. I felt the daggers in my knees after a quarter mile. I was done. Ms. Caroline and I walked the rest of the way.

So I couldn't enjoy that night. I was miserable. I was worried that I wouldn't get things done in time. I was pissed that time was passing and I wasn't running. I had started my 100 miles in August and basically stopped with 10 day to go. It's frustrating.

I struggled a lot with the studying. Studying usually means snacking. For the first week I made bad choices. My meal choices were fine, but then I snacked way too much. I finally really focused and got strict with myself. Things got better. But, I did notice something. For someone who doesn't drink that much, I was having a glass of wine every night. This started to really bother me. I don't want to stress eat, but I don't want to stress drink either.

Yesterday I went to the park for the first time in forever. A super slow 4 miles and I was hurting. My foot hurt before I finished. I was frustrated. I had to go to church to set something up and it took longer than I thought. I could barely walk to my car when I was done. I needed a shower when I got home. I needed lunch. And I needed to elevate my knee. I got cranky real quick.

I have been limping around for several days. It's pissing me off. It's also doing damage to my foot. Because I am limping I am putting more weight on the inside of my foot when I walk. That in turn puts more pressure on my big toe. It's jammed. I can usually crack my toes and ankle about a hundred times a day. I cannot crack my foot to save my life right now. Grr.

It hurts. I'm in pain. The solution: rest and ice. I am not supposed to "work through it". It's not going to just go away, it needs rest. I think we all know how well I do with that. I ate a big giant brownie at lunch. I am frustrated. We are less than 14 weeks until Marathon #3. I actually said out loud several times today that I need to either write myself a letter or make a video for my Post Marathon self. This is it. I am stopping at #3. There may be a #4 in my future, but not in 2016. It's so hard. I am so miserable now, but I will be so ready for another the minute that the finisher medal is around my neck.

This is the picture I will use to remind myself of this. It has looked like me all day.

Have a Blessed Evening
****Please note****

If you feel like you are alone on your journey and you just need some encouragement I am here for you! Shoot me an email and I will do my best to check in on you or give you the words of support you need several times a week. The journey is so much easier if you have support. 
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yeah, sorry, I messed up and the "l" is missing....I need an assistant :-)

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1 comment:

  1. Sending you hugs from afar. I know it sucks, but you have to do what your body needs. Hoping that some rest helps quickly and you're back out there feeling the pavement under your feet.